Goodnight Lita
by Jemima Flute
Summary: Set in 2005, Lita is struggling with her new role as Edge's valet. When she finds her life in the hands of Kane, will she be able to finally leave him forever, or will she be drawn back into his dangerous embrace?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Any characters you recognize, they all belongs to the WWE. Any that you don't recognize are mine.

June, 2005

The tile floor was like ice beneath her feet as Lita fumbled with the shower knob. Finally a burst of water shot out of the shower head, striking her on the chest. It was freezing! She wrenched the knob to the left and eventually the water heated enough to be bearable. Even then, she turned it hotter, filling the small bathroom with steam. The hot water felt wonderful on her sore muscles. Her fingers gently massaged discolored skin on her arms and shoulders; her souvenirs of Edge's match earlier that evening.

The match against Randy Orton had been intense. Lita, from her spot at ringside, had watched with great interest as the two young superstars worked each other over. Towards the end of the match, Edge started to struggle, putting his victory in jeopardy. When he signaled Lita, she was ready to jump in and distract the ref. She had expected Orton to try and push her out of the ring, but she hadn't expected for Orton to grab her and toss her around the ring for a few moments while Edge set up for the spear that ultimately won him the match. At least the distraction gave Edge the opportunity he needed to steal the win. Lita rubbed her arms where Randy had grabbed her, trying to ease the pain. There were red marks there, which would probably be bruises tomorrow.

Forgetting today's events, she stepped under the stream of water and allowed it to soak her hair and body. Water had always been an important part of her psyche; she could always go to water and forget anything that was bothering her. As the warm water melted the tension from her body she began to relax. After another long moment, Lita reached down to grab her bottle of body wash and squeezed a large amount onto her hands. The liquid was bright red in color. . .

_God, it looks like blood. . . How ironic. . . _

The sight of the red liquid splashed across her hands unnerved her. A sick feeling developed in the pit of her stomach as she shook the red liquid from her hands, watching it swirl around her feet before finally washing down the drain. _I have blood on my hands_, she thought morosely.

There was blood on her hands. . .Blood from all the mistakes in her past. The broken hearts. . . Her poor son. . .

A painful lump formed in her throat as memories of some of the most painful months of her life came flooding back. She'd become good at keeping these painful memories at bay; but sometimes she just wasn't strong enough to completely forget the tragedy that took her son. She remembered the pain most of all; the inescapable pain in her mind that ate away at her, turning her insides black.

Her heart began to pound as the room seemed to suddenly grow oppressively hot. Lita allowed herself to fall back, her shoulders resting on the cool tile of the shower wall. The water continued to flow over her body, raising gooseflesh on her arms. She closed her eyes, trying to force out moments from the past she never wanted to relive again.

Somewhere in her sub-consciousness, a memory stirred. . .

_October 2004_

_She was in another shower, in another hotel, in another city. She leaned against the shower wall, allowing her hands and forehead to rest on the cool tile as the warm water soothed her weary body. She heard the light tapping as her gold wedding ring touched the wall. She looked at it scornfully. It felt like a chain. No, perhaps a collar would be a better description. It ensured that she would not run from her captor, or her husband, as he preferred to be called. _

_She allowed her hands to follow the flow of water down her body, resting on the concave expanse of her belly. Only a few weeks ago a new life had taken root here. A tiny life, something innocent and clean growing inside of her. It was a life untouched by her sordid history or her sullied reputation. A life that was snuffed out in a cruel twist of fate._

_The memories of that night were still brutally clear in her mind. Every detail of the night in September when Kane lost his balance and crashed into her was burned into her mind. She had lost consciousness when her head hit the bottom of the mat, crushed beneath Kane's weight. She didn't remember waking up until she was in the ambulance en route to the hospital. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was Kane, holding her limp hand against the side of his face. She could feel his hot tears as he wept. His entire body was shaking. Behind her she could see the paramedic injecting something into the IV tube she didn't remember getting. And then she looked down her body and saw blood spread on her pants and the blanket that covered her. With a sudden and horrible pain, she knew, just knew that the baby was gone. _

_She had spent a week in the hospital. Every minute Kane was there, refusing to leave her side. She did not speak to him, or even acknowledge his presence as he wept beside her. She simply refused to acknowledge that anything had happened. She masked her heart-breaking pain with cold indifference. After she'd been released with strict orders for bed rest, she lapsed into a semi-aware state, refusing to focus on the horror of what happened. Kane had tried to care for her. But she refused to accept him; content to let him fall into her depression. Even while he begged for her forgiveness, she never gave it. She allowed herself to fall into a pit of despair that she had no reason to struggle from. And she really didn't care if she took Kane with her._

_All the events leading up to this moment flooded over her, threatening to drown her in the pain of it all. _

_The surprising coldness of October in Tampa pervaded their hotel room, even reaching Lita in the shower. When she began to shiver, she turned the water as hot as she could bear. She came to the shower for an escape; just a small release. But so far all she'd been able to do was torture herself about the past few months. She ran her hands through her hair in frustration, trying to push her mind to anything but her present situation. As the water flowed over her body, she tried to focus on something different: their upcoming schedule, the curling iron she needed to replace, the dog's vets bills to pay. . . _

_She felt the tears welling up, and she tried to fight it. The awful feeling of emptiness overcame her. Lita fell back against the tile wall and began to cry, painful sobs tearing through her chest. Hot tears burned her skin where they fell. She felt like her heart was breaking all over again._

_And then came the shock she never expected: two large warm hands pulling her up to rest against the massive chest of her poor husband. He held her tentatively, like he expected her to struggle and fight his embrace. To his complete shock, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed deeper into his embrace. He splayed one hand over her back, helping to hold her as he gently stroked her hair. They stayed together for several moments until her sobs quieted. _

_She suddenly looked up, her arms coiling around his neck, bringing his face down to hers. He hesitated for one brief moment, until she pressed her lips to his. Their kiss was tender, heat slowly building between their bodies. The feel of her nimble tongue surprised him as she parted his lips and delved into his mouth as she lifted her leg to rest on his hip. He broke the kiss, not understanding her intentions. She looked up at him, and Kane was shocked by the pain in her eyes that were such a beautiful shade of brown. "Please," she whimpered as tears fell anew. Kane was startled by her plea. Never in all their time together had she ever willingly beckoned him to her. He didn't understand why she needed him now, but he was not about to question it and lose this moment. _

_With fervor he kissed her again, pinning her body between his own and the wall. This time his tongue entered her, tenderly exploring her mouth. She moaned and pressed against him, causing him to groan at the sensation. The heat between them intensified as her hips began rocking against his to the motion of their kiss. His hands snaked around her bottom and suddenly hoisted her from her feet, wrapping her legs around his waist. His mouth left hers and traveled down her jaw, tracing the delicate part of her neck down to the sensitive place where her collarbone met her neck. He laved the spot gently with his tongue as she shivered in delight. Lita arched her back in pleasure as he gently sucked the spot. _

_Heat began to build in her lower stomach. She knew that if she didn't stop now, it would be too late. Frankly, she didn't care. As Kane's mouth moved across her chest to her breasts, Lita could only lean her head against the wall and gasp as he gently explored her. His tenderness shocked her. Too soon he returned to her mouth, stealing her wits with his passion. Lita could feel his erection growing against her thighs and the sensation thrilled her. _

_It almost sounded like someone else's voice when she cried, "I need you." He needed no further encouragement._

_Madness took them over as he carried her from the shower to the bed, dripping water everywhere. He paused for one brief moment, drinking in the sight of her body lying open for him. "Please," she cried, feeling as if she would die if he did not come to her. Kane slowly climbed onto the bed over her, kissing her deeply. She could not wait, lifting her legs about his waist, wanting to feel him inside. He didn't hesitate. Whatever insanity this was, he did not want to question it and lose this passion. He positioned himself and slowly entered her. _

_Lita threw back her head and cried out as he buried himself deep inside. Kane growled low and deep in his throat as he thrust against her, savoring every nuance of her body around his. Lita reached up and pulled him down, kissing him deeply. He moaned against her mouth; a most beautiful sound. Tears burned in her eyes as she felt herself grow closer to the edge. _

"_I'm so sorry." _

_Kane stiffened, not believing she really said those words. "I'm sorry . . . for everything," she cried, tears filling her beautiful brown eyes. He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her long and deep. "I love you Lita," he moaned as he began to thrust against her, the feeling of her body around him just too much to deny himself any longer. The sensations overtook them both and they became lost in a world of pleasure so deep it was nearly pain; a world that was wholly theirs. _

Lita's eyes snapped open and she screamed. The sound echoed in the small tiled room. Her pulse raced, she could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She looked around and saw only the nondescript hotel bathroom. She couldn't keep her body from shaking. She hadn't allowed herself to remember that night in a very long time. That was one moment of weakness; one she never wanted to admit had happened. White hot anger pulsed through her. She let out a frustrated scream as she slammed her fist into the wall. That hurt pretty bad, but the pain brought her fully into the present. She tried not to notice her hands were shaking as she turned the water off and stumbled out of the shower. Her legs felt like rubber as she moved to the vanity. Lita saw the red flush on her face and chest and cursed aloud. She quickly wrapped a towel around her wet hair and pulled on her bathrobe.

The power of that memory frightened her. After that night, things had begun to change. She had found herself growing closer to Kane. She couldn't explain it. Even though she had once hated him beyond all reason, she began finding little things she liked about him. She had never loved him; but at least at the end she had been sympathetic towards him. Even while everything between them was seemingly good, Lita had continued to lash out behind his back. While they appeared to be loving couple, working together to terrorize their opponents, Lita had latched on to the first man she could. Edge had no problem with the arrangement; eager to nail Lita and advance his career at the same time. So they began their affair, Lita spending her days and 'therapy sessions' with Edge and her nights with Kane. He never suspected a thing.

While sneaking around behind Kane's back, Lita and Edge would joke about the day when she would finally betray her husband. Edge thought it would be most effective during a very important moment in his life. Like a title shot. She always laughed and went along with his plans, but never made any attempts to move their playful banter into reality. She was enjoying the benefits of Kane's services too much to throw it all away. But as time passed, Edge became more persistent; asking again and again when she was planning to embarrass Kane. She never knew what to say.

Fate however, put the opportunity right into their laps. The Gold-Rush Tournament unfolded in just the right way, leaving Kane to face Edge in the semi-finals. She still remembered the unholy glee in Edge's eyes when he realized the chance they had been given. Any apprehension she had was overridden by Edge's excitement. And so they made their move. The feud had taken a huge emotional and physical toll on everyone involved. Despite everything, she and Edge had come out victorious and gone on to become the premiere couple of the WWE. They were constantly in demand for appearances, interviews and photo shoots. She hadn't had cause to think about Kane since. Ever since their feud had ended, Kane had left her alone. She was sure he was just as eager to forget about everything as she was.

With Lita by his side, Edge's career had taken off, leading to his capture of the WWE Title from John Cena. As Edge's star only seemed to be rising, Lita's began to stagnate. After being taken out of competition for the Women's Title, Lita had nothing to focus on but Edge. The decision to sideline her career continued to irk her; but for now things were going well enough with Edge's career, that she was content to wait.

Lita looked to the bed where Edge was laying on the bed, a beer in hand as Sports Center blared on the television. Lita held her breath as she crossed the room to sit at the vanity. She was trying to appear relaxed, though inside she was extremely agitated and nervous. Edge didn't say anything for a few moments as the announcers on TV went over the night's hockey scores. As Lita began to dry her hair, he asked, "Are you alright?" His eyes never left the television. Trying to sound as casual as she could, she said, "Yes, I'm fine." Behind her, there was a _clink_ as the now empty beer bottle joined his departed brothers in the trash can.

After a few minutes, Lita got her hair as dry as she could. She got up and picked up her messenger bag that served as her purse, of sorts. She rummaged through the multitudes of pockets, searching for the makeshift itinerary she had to carry since her laptop crapped out on her. She had to pull half the contents of the bag out before she finally found the piece of paper, wedged between the pages of a magazine. Quickly she reviewed the plan for the next few days of her life. They were heading on to Dallas tomorrow, where she and Edge had some special appearances at various places over a few days. There was a house show on Saturday, where Edge was having a match against Carlito, and Lita was doing nothing but following him to the ring. And on Monday, there was Raw. Once again, she would not be wrestling. Removing a pen from the bag, she added onto the schedule:

_Tuesday: Philly, Pennsylvania, Turnabout Record Store Appearance. _

_House Show Saturday. _

_Raw Monday. _

She was startled when the TV suddenly clicked off. Before she realized it, Edge was behind her, his hands running over her neck, under her robe to her breasts. She didn't move as his hands undid the robe's tie and began to move over her body. Silently he led her to the bed. He ran his hands through her damp hair, dipping his head to breath in the scent of her skin. He made a sound of pleasure in his throat as his tongue traced a line over her throat. "You always smell so good after a bath," he said, a lazy smile on his face. She sat back slightly to look at him. His green eyes sparkled as he twirled strands of her hair around his fingers. Her eyes must have betrayed her inner turmoil, because his expression changed, growing confused. "Hey, are you okay honey? You look like something's bothering you."

_If only you knew_, she thought. Unwilling to discuss her earlier episode, Lita smiled, hiding her troubled thoughts behind half-lidded eyes. "I'm fine; just tired," she said, gently tickling the fine layer of stubble on his chin. Using the leverage of his body, he lowered her down onto the comforter and settled over her. He kissed her, long and deep. Lita responded immediately, her body already aware and ready.

As they made love, Lita took comfort in the mindless activity; eager to have something to take her away from herself. When it was finally over, Edge pulled away and rolled onto his side. He was snoring within minutes. Lita gave a disgusted sigh as she rolled over and yanked the covers away from Edge, who was already beginning to steal them away. She reached over to turn off the bedside light, throwing the room into darkness. She closed her eyes, listening to Edge's deep snores.

Several moments later, in the final seconds before sleep claimed her, she heard her phantom lover's low, rough voice:

"Goodnight Lita."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

As Lita sat in the women's locker room, she couldn't help being resentful of the other divas. While some of them, like Maria were afraid of her, the others scoffed at her, knowing that Lita was no longer in the competition for the women's title. This bothered Lita to no end. Not that she gave a shit about what the others thought. The only thing she wanted was the only thing the company wouldn't give her: a title shot. She looked over to where Trish was preening, making sure she was ready for her "Bra and Panties" match against Torrie later in the show. Trish kept going around, showing off her new underwear, asking everyone if they liked the pale blue set from Victoria's Secret, the gold championship belt slung over her shoulder.

When Trish neared Lita, the blonde diva sighed, "You know Lita, it's a shame that I'm not fighting you tonight. It's impossible for you not to win," she said with a devilish grin, "because we all know that dirty sluts don't wear bras and panties." At this point, Lita had two options: she could kick the living crap out of Trish, or she could be the better woman and ignore her sorry ass. She chose the first option.

Lita lunged at her, tackling her to the ground. As she began to wail on Trish, some of the other girls began to scream. Lita was ready to break Trish's pretty little face when Victoria stepped over them both and pulled Lita off the other diva. Trish quickly leapt up and ran from the locker room while Lita struggled against Victoria. After a moment, Victoria let her go. All the other girls watched her warily as she grabbed her gear bag and left.

She went to Edge's private dressing room where he was just finishing getting ready. He noticed her heavy breathing and the redness in her face and he asked, "What happened? Did you run here or something?" Lita shook her head and threw down her gear bag. "Trish, that stupid bitch! I need to teach her a damn lesson. Why won't the company let me compete?" she cried, completely frustrated. Edge grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to calm her down. "Look, soon or later they're bound to let you compete for the title. You've just got to bide your time for now." She let out a deep breath and looked at him appreciatively. Edge was very good at relaxing her when she was frustrated. "Finish getting ready. We're up next," he said, sitting down to make sure his wrists were wrapped securely.

Lita quickly did her makeup and changed into one of Edge's favorite tops for her: a black shirt that left practically nothing to the imagination. "Damn, you look good," he said, coming up behind her, kissing her deeply, as his hands reached under her shirt. Inwardly, she groaned. Sex was the last thing on her mind right now. At that very moment there was a knock on the door. Outside they could hear the stage manager calling for Edge to make his entrance.

Together they made their way to the ring. When Edge's music hit, the crowd began to cheer wildly. Although she had visited Dallas several times, she was always impressed and inspired by the enthusiastic fans here. The smile on her face was genuine. She thrived off the energy from the crowd. As they entered the ring, she could hear Lawler howling about her dangerous curves, as usual.

A moment later, Edge's opponent, Big Show came out. Lita couldn't help but feel slightly worried. Edge was about to go up against the biggest guy in the company. As he lumbered into the ring, Lita slid to the floor, glad to be as far from him as she could. As the match began, she became genuinely worried that Edge may inadvertently get his brain squashed by Big Show. It quickly became obvious that Edge was in trouble. All of his attempts to knock the giant off his feet were unsuccessful. He was spending more time running away from Big Show than he was actually wrestling him. After a few minutes, it became obvious that Edge was making no leeway. In desperation he slid from the ring. Big Show lumbered after him, giving Edge enough time to grab a steal chair from the ringside and slam it into Big Show's head.

The 500 pound man hit the floor with a sickening thud. Edge circled him warily, the chair held high, ready to fly again. When Big Show sat up, Edge took the chair and hit Show again. A sudden explosion of music caused Edge and Lita to look up in shock. Lita's mouth fell open as Big Show's former Tag Team partner, Kane ran down the ramp and down to where his friend lay prone. His eyes burned like fire as he cornered Edge. Edge threw down the chair and backed away, saying "I'm done, man. I'm done." As he backed away, Kane glared after him a moment before kneeling down to check on Big Show. Lita grabbed Edge, trying to lead him away from the ring, when he shoved her away and quickly made for another steel chair. Quick as lightning, Edge grabbed the chair and ran to where Kane was bent over Big Show. He sent it swinging in a huge arc directly for Kane's head.

The sound of steel on flesh sickened her, nausea overtook her. Kane fell onto his back as blood began to flow over his face. Again and again the chair flew, hitting the fallen giant. Lita suddenly felt horribly nauseous, her vision swimming. She tasted the vomit in the back of her throat as she ran up the ramp and into the backstage area. She ran blindly, until she spotted a table laid out with a water cooler. She grabbed a paper cup and began to gulp down mouthfuls of ice cold water.

After a minute she felt the nausea subside slightly. She leaned against a wall, catching her breath and trying to calm down. What the hell was wrong with her? She had seen countless wrestlers torn apart at the hands of Edge. If anything, she should have been glad to see Kane bleed. Shit, what was wrong with her? She sat on the floor and buried her head in her arms, willing her stomach to settle down completely.

Lita didn't hear the footsteps until they were nearly on top of her. She jerked up her head just in time to see a bloody and disoriented Kane stumble through the hallway. The amount of blood on him shocked her; it left a clear trail on the floor in his wake. For a moment she was frozen, torn in two completely different directions by two different parts of her mind. The rational part of her mind told her to find Edge and get the hell out of here. The other part told her to follow the trail of blood. . .

Before she realized what she was doing, she was silently walking down the hall, following the steady drops of blood. She saw him dart around a corner and heard a door slam. She slowly approached the door that had his name written on it. She hesitated. Why should she go in and help him? After all she'd done to him, why would he want her help. But what if he seriously needed medical help?

Before she knew what she was doing, she opened the door and crossed into the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The room was completely dark, the only illumination coming from the open door. She could make out the closet and bench that had Kane's gear bag on top, but nothing else. Her heart was racing unbelievably fast as she moved further into the room. When she still couldn't see him, she became very nervous.

Suddenly the door slammed shut with a loud bang and the lock clicked. Lita screamed in fright as she lunged at the door, twisting at the knob, but it wouldn't move. Panic swept through her . . . _I should not have come here!_ Almost on cue she felt a large hand wrap around her throat and slammed her back against the door. She would have screamed in terror, but the hand was squeezing too tight. "Why did you come here?" his voice dangerously growled. She beat against the huge arm that held her suspended in the air. He was going to kill her…

Drawing on all of her resolve, she managed to gasp one single word: "Please!" Instantly the hand released her and she fell to the floor gasping for breath. Across the room she heard the 'thud' of a body hitting the floor. Lita struggled over to a table where she had seen a lamp. After fumbling in the dark for a moment, she finally found the switch and flicked the light on. In the soft light she saw Kane slumped against the far wall, his entire face and much of his chest red with blood. Even in the low light she could she the gash cutting across his head. Attached to the wall nearby was a small first aide kit. Lita pulled it down and slowly approached Kane, whose eyes were closed. She was afraid that even now, he would reach out and strike her.

When she was close enough to reach him, she opened the kit and removed a large piece of sterile gauze. She unfolded it and reached up towards his head, meaning to clean the gash. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and his hand shot up, catching her arm in mid-air. "What are you doing Lita?" he growled. She could see her hand tremble as she pleaded, "Please Kane. You're really hurt. You might have a concussion. You need help." With a groan his head rolled back to rest against the wall. "Why?" he asked, "Wouldn't you prefer it if I died?" She ignored that for now, instead concentrating on using the gauze to get rid of the excess blood. Soon she could see the full extent of the gash. It was about six inches long and probably a half inch deep.

The entire time he silently watched her. She tried to ignore his gaze. "Stay here. I'm going to help you clean up," she said, going to his gear bag, where she pulled out a towel and then grabbed a few of the bottles of water that sat nearby. She went back to Kane, this time sitting at his side. Using the water to wet the towel, she began to clean off the excess blood. His eyes were locked to hers the entire time, but she avoided his gaze. The amount of blood on him made her sick. It took a long time before she had gotten him clean enough.

He watched her thoughtfully as she worked. He was utterly confused as to why she was here. The Lita here helping him was a completely different than the one that played Edge's fierce lover. As terrible as their past had been together, his skin still burned wherever she accidentally touched him. She was still so beautiful; but there was something different. Her eyes, that used to be so full of defiance and fire, now seemed dull and unsure. He wanted to speak to her, but he could not find any words.

"I think you're going to need stitches," she finally managed, sitting back. He was silent. "Can you make it to the ambulance bay?" Without answering her, he began to struggle to his feet. But he was far too dizzy and fell back against the wall. Lita jumped to her feet and helped to steady him. She could see that he wouldn't be able to walk on his own, so she lifted his arm over her shoulders and helped support him as he walked. The walk ahead of them was daunting. Together they walked through the maze of corridors backstage, finally locating the ambulance bay.

The ambulance was parked at one of the loading bays, the male and female paramedics were sitting on the fender, checking their equipment in their emergency packs. When they spotted Kane and Lita, they rushed over to help. They began asking him a barrage of questions" "What happened? Can you tell us your name? Are you nauseous? How many fingers?" On and on they went, Lita's head spun as she tried to keep track of everything they asked him. Kane was barely answering them. The paramedics helped him into the ambulance where he lay down on the gurney. The female paramedic climbed in back with him looked back to Lita and called, "Are you coming Ma'am?" Lita shook her head. The other paramedic quickly slammed the doors and climbed into the drivers seat. In a barrage of flashing lights and loud sirens, the ambulance tore out of the arena.

When everything was quiet again, Lita's head began to hurt. She sat down on the edge of the loading bay and buried her head in her hands. Inwardly she was screaming at herself. _What the hell is wrong with you? What are you doing here? After all that he's done to you! Stolen your life, twisted you, manipulated you! Why on earth would you go to him like a poor lost puppy?! He's made your life a living hell! _She heaved a heavy sigh, trying to shut her nagging thoughts_. But I paid him back. I hurt and betrayed him. I sent him over the edge. . . What in the hell am I doing? None of this makes any sense!_

Her mind was running a mile a minute, trying to rationalize her actions. Now that she was finally alone, Lita decided it was time to beat a hasty retreat. She just needed to find Edge and get away from here. She got up and quickly headed back to Edge's private dressing room. When she got there, neither Edge nor their things were there. Confused, Lita went to the Diva's locker room wondering if he was there. Even outside the door she could hear a voice screaming. Edge's voice. _Oh this was going to be good. . . _

She opened the door and saw Edge, clutching both of their bags, screaming at a naked Maria, who was desperately trying to keep everything covered with a very small towel. "But she's with you!" Maria cried. Edge, who was very red in the face yelled, "No, you dumb bitch. She's not with me. Where is she?" Lita mentally groaned before walking into the room. "I'm right here Edge," she said.

The sound of her voice caused him to whirl around. Lita wanted to gag when she saw splatters of blood on his chest. Kane's blood. She could see the fury in his eyes as he marched up to her and viciously backhanded her. Lita crashed against the wall, clutching her hand to her face where he had hit her. "What the fuck is your problem? Where did you run?" he yelled, grabbing a fistful of her hair to force her to look at him. The look in her eyes told him everything.

He backed away, unsure for a moment. But then she saw him smile. "Oh, what Lita? Are you upset because of what I did out there? Didn't you like it when I beat him bloody?" He laughed. "Don't you remember when you handed me the Money-In-The-Bank briefcase so I could bash his head in the night you betrayed him?" Choking back a sob, she nodded. He released her and tossed her gear bag at her. "Get your shit. We're going," he said before storming out.

Once the door slammed behind him, Lita tried to bite back the tears that brimmed in her eyes. Maria ran to her side, her wide eyes full of concern. "Lita, are you okay?" "It's okay Maria, I'm fine," Lita said, massaging her cheek. Thankfully she hadn't bitten herself when he'd hit her. The younger Diva helped her to stand. "He shouldn't have hit you," Maria said softly. Lita shook her head. "It doesn't matter." Leaving Maria behind her, Lita picked up her gear bag and made her way out to the parking lot where Edge waited in his Land Rover.

He didn't speak to her as she climbed into the passenger seat. Inside she burned with anger. Had this been any other night she probably would have smacked Edge right back. . . When they reached the hotel, Edge didn't park. Instead he swung around to the hotel's main entrance. "Get out," he told her, holding out her gear bag. She looked at him strangely, not sure of his intentions. He gave a frustrated groan. "Go up to the room Lita. I'm done with you tonight. I'm going out. Don't expect me back tonight." Disgusted with him, Lita grabbed her stuff and walked towards the hotel. As Edge sped off, she turned around and flicked him off. "Fuck you Edge," she said before heading inside.

When she got to her room she threw down her stuff and fell onto the bed. She was so confused right now. Her actions tonight made no sense whatsoever. She still couldn't rationalize why she had gone to help Kane. It was really starting to piss her off. She got up and walked to the large window that overlooked the city. Eight floors below her the city of Dallas sprawled out in a blinding glare of white and red. She needed to get away from Edge, from Kane, from the company. Nearby she could see the club district crowded with people. Perfect.

Lita pulled off her clothes and tossed them in the corner. She began to rifle through her suitcases, trying to find something good to wear. What she needed right now was a party, somewhere loud and somewhere crowded. Near the bottom of her bag, she found just the thing. Fishnet stockings, a black miniskirt, studded belt and a plunging black top made the perfect outfit. After she dressed, she looked herself over in the mirror. It was almost perfect.

In the bathroom she redid her makeup, lining her eyes thickly in black and painting her lips a rich burgundy. In the mirror she noticed her jaw was a little red and swollen where Edge had hit her. She used some foundation on the spot to cover the redness. Satisfied with her appearance now, she pulled on her favorite pair of black leather high heel boots and slipped the hotel key and some cash into the waistband of her skirt. It was nearly midnight when she left, but that posed no problem tonight.

She walked past the rows of nightclubs, listening to the music pouring out of them so she could determine which one was right. She walked past a row that blasted pop, rap and techno. When she came to the fourth club, she knew she found the right one. The Castle was blasting punk music by one of her favorite bands. She paid the cover to the bouncer and went inside.

Inside the club was dark, dimly lit by a few spotlights. People were crowded onto the dance floor while several others occupied the jumble of chairs and couches opposite the dance floor. The music was loud and throbbing inside her head. Even though she had just arrived, she could tell she had an effect. Several men, and women openly stared at her. She didn't see recognition in their eyes, only lust and envy. That made her feel good. At the crowded bar, she managed to find enough space to order her drinks from the bartender. As she waited, she examined some of the men around her. One of them in particular caught her eye.

He sat on a couch across the room, staring intently at her. Even from far away she could see that he was very well built, almost the body type of a wrestler. Behind her, the bartender dropped off her shot. She gave the man across the room another glance before she turned around. Making sure to stand so her rear stood out, she took the shot and quickly downed it. She relished the feeling of the vodka as it flowed through her body, spreading warmth through her. She turned around to see the stranger wasn't on the couch anymore. He was heading right for her.

Again, the bartended dropped off the tab and her second drink: a double shot rum and coke. She hid her excitement as he leaned on the bar next to her. When she reached for the tab, someone snatched it away. She looked up at him through half lidded eyes as she took a sip of her drink. The stranger dropped a twenty on the bar and told the bartender, "Keep it." He smiled at her. "Thanks," she said nonchalantly. "For you. . . no problem," the stranger said. Lita took in his handsome face and his dark hair and eyes. He could serve a purpose tonight.

"I'm Jack," he said, as his eyes moved up and down her body. "And you are?" She smiled. "Lita." He laughed and said, "Don't tell me a gorgeous thing like you is here all alone." She smiled demurely as she took another sip of the drink. "You never know." Jack licked his lips. "Well then I think we'd better start dancing before someone comes to steal you away." Inspired by his boldness, she said okay and allowed him to pull her to the dance floor.

The music pulsated as he pulled her into his arms and they began to dance to the rhythm. His hands roamed over her body, starting with her shoulders, across her back, on her hips, and finally brushing her breasts. She didn't discourage him. Frankly she need the attention of someone she didn't have a past with. They danced like that a long time before Jack led her off the floor and onto one of couches. There, Jack introduced Lita to two of his friends. "Lita, I want you to meet my friend Jesse, and his girl Rachel." She greeted them both, but felt wary of them. Frankly Jesse looked like an idiot as he openly leered at her. Rachel sat staring into the distance, too drugged up to notice where she was. Jack helped Lita sit and then went to get them some more drinks.

Jesse continued to leer at her. "Do you have a problem?" she asked, looking at him like the moron he was. He looked angry for a moment. "I just like what I see. Is that a problem?" he asked. Lita glanced at Rachel, who still looked like she was in orbit. She was relieved when Jack brought back the drinks. She had another double rum and coke while he had a very large vodka on the rocks. He downed his very fast and then pulled Lita back to the floor.

This time, he was much bolder, pulling her flush against him, his hands firmly groping her breasts and her rear. He was starting to piss her off. When his hand moved under her skirt, she yanked it away. Instantly she realized that was a mistake. His entire demeanor changed. Roughly he grabbed her arm and spun her around so she was face to face with him. His eyes were full of rage and his body heaved with his breath. He bent his head to speak in her ear. "I know who you are, bitch. I know what they call you." Lita cursed. He began to chant, "Slut Slut Slut," just like the Raw audience did.

Fuck. Of all the guys to meet tonight, this one had to be a wrestling fan. He licked his lips as he said, "You like having Live Sex Shows, don't you Lita?" She felt his hand reaching under her skirt and pull at her panties. She moved to elbow him in the face, but he caught her. "Get the fuck off of me, you freak," she hissed. He called over his shoulder, "Hey Jesse, get over here." Lita felt a touch of panic as Jesse lumbered over. Speaking low enough so only the three of them could hear, Jack said "Alright sweetheart. We're going back to my place where I'll let you thank me for the wonderful night we've had. And you haven't had much time to get to know Jesse very well, I think you should have some intimate time too."

Together the two men led her from the club into one of the back allies. Lita struggled against them, hating herself for putting herself in such a stupidly vulnerable position. If she only had to fight off one of them, she might have had a chance. But against the two of them, she was more likely to get the living shit beat out of her. As they approached Jack's car, he let go of her to get out his keys. Lita saw her chance, and she took it. She turned and kicked Jesse as hard as she possibly could in the balls.

He went down like a ton of bricks. The instant he let go she began to run back towards the main street. She realized she was in a lot of trouble when she began to stumble in the five inch heels. Still she pushed ahead, praying that she would get out into the open before Jack caught her. Behind her, she could hear him cursing, and his heavy footsteps as he ran after her.

With a spear that would make Edge jealous, Jack drove her to the ground. "Stupid bitch!" he screamed, flipping her over and sending a huge fist crashing into the temple. Lita saw stars as he jerked her to her feet. She couldn't fight back as his hand wrapped around her throat and slammed her against the wall. _Oh fuck. . ._ She didn't know what to do. Her body wasn't responding, still shocked by the vicious punch. Her vision began to fade due to the lack of oxygen. . .

But then he was gone. She fell to the ground and began sucking in air. Even though her vision was swimming, she could see someone hoisting Jack up by the neck, exactly as he had done to her. Jesse still lay moaning a few yards away, but she could hear the indistinct voice of a man. She tried to stand, but her head spun and she fell back against the wall. Lita could only watch as the man holding Jack suddenly flung him away like a rag doll, sending him crashing into a dumpster. The figure turned and leveled two burning eyes directly into hers. _Oh fuck. . ._

Kane's eyes burned with anger as he saw Lita lying on the ground, her left eye already starting to swell from the vicious punch that asshole had given her. His forehead bore the angry gash that had been stitched closed by the emergency room doctor. Lita wasn't sure if he was here to help her or hurt her. He stood unmoving, staring at her with those horrible eyes. As her mind began to focus, she became more and move worried. He surprised her when he suddenly moved towards her. In one swift motion he hoisted her over his shoulder. She cried out in protest. She didn't need his help! Of all the people in the world, he was the last one she wanted right now. As he began to carry her down the ally, she began to beat on his back with her fists, shouting for him to let her go.

Without warning, his hand smacked onto her backside, stunning Lita into silent rage. He carried her to his SUV, which was parked down the street. He wrenched open the door and unceremoniously dumped her in the backseat. She landed on her head, shouting at him as she tried to sit up. By the time she was finally upright, he had climbed in and started the car. "What the hell was that?" she shrieked, "Are you stalking me?" He pulled into traffic without answering her. She began punching the back of his seat. "Answer me!" she screamed. He said nothing, but she caught sight of his eyes in the rear view mirror. They burned straight through her. A resounding click from the door told her she was now locked in. Lita fell back against the seat, determined not to look at him.

Inside, she was fuming. She was made at Kane, mad at herself, mad at Edge. She almost felt a twinge of sympathy for Kane, but she forced it away by focusing on all of the horrible things he'd done to her in the past, of which there were many. He had no right to interfere with her life anymore. She owed him nothing. But she realized that she did owe him tonight. The though of what Jack and Jesse would have done to her made her shudder. Like it or not, she was grateful to Kane for her rescue.

A few minutes later they arrived at Lita's hotel. He pulled up to the main entrance, got out and pulled open her door. He grabbed her by the arm and flung her into the hotel lobby. She nearly crashed to the floor, but managed to grab onto a huge fish tank to keep her balance. Kane walked over to her, gazing down at her and said, "A favor for a favor." His mismatched blue eyes stared down at her a moment longer before he turned and left the lobby. She stared after him as he got back in his vehicle and sped off.

Once he was gone, Lita shakily got to her feet and hurried back to her room. Her hands were shaking so bad that she dropped the keycard twice, crying out in fearful frustration before the door finally clicked open. She wrenched open the door and began tearing her clothes from her body. Both boots hit the wall with loud thuds and she flung her jewelry onto the vanity. Stumbling into the bathroom, she fought back tears as she scrubbed the makeup from her face and ripped the pins from her hair. She quickly pulled on a tank top and pajama pants and then dove under the covers. Lita could feel her body straining as she tried to keep herself under control. The last thing she wanted was to be crying like a baby for the rest of the night.

Her hands moved over her face, feeling the swollen eye she had received complements of Jack, and the tender jaw she had received from Edge. Between the two, she was more pissed at Edge. If it had been any other day, she would have hit him right back. Disgusted with herself, she thought about the club, and what Jack might have done to her had Kane not saved her. Saved her . . .

Sleep refused to come, so Lita stared out the huge window and watched as the city lights burned below her. The first faint rays of pink were in the sky when sleep finally claimed her. And in that last moment, she heard her phantom lover's low, rough voice, _"Goodnight Lita. . ."_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The members of the company were expected to make their way to Philadelphia in three days. Once there, they had another three days before they moved on to another city. Some of the biggest names flew, but most of the middle-card guys drove or carpooled. Usually Edge and Lita rode together. But when she woke up that morning and found all of his stuff gone, she knew she was on her own. And that actually was a great feeling. She was still incredibly pissed at him. She needed some time away from him.

The curtains were still drawn closed, leaving the room cool and dark. Lita sighed and shoved the covers away. In her mind she quickly went over all she needed to do in order to make it to the next shows. She and Edge had an appearance at some record store tomorrow, but she had no problem not showing up if he was going to be an ass. On the nightstand, she saw that her cell phone was flashing with a voicemail alert. It was from Edge, earlier this morning. She regarded it thoughtfully and then turned it off. If he wanted to talk to her so bad, he shouldn't have left. This was just another example of the rollercoaster ride that was their relationship. As great as the highs were, the low times were pretty shitty. In the beginning, when she was still married to Kane, her affair with Edge was exciting and defiant. Poor Kane was so trusting; he never saw it coming. For a moment she allowed her mind to flow over those hellish weeks surrounding her betrayal. The stress had been intense, leading two completely different lives. The guilty part of her had made her feel closer to Kane, even while she was cheating on him. "God, that's such a weird thought. . ." she moaned, rubbing her eyes. Even while she was growing closer to Kane, she spent her nights and "physical therapy sessions" with Edge in hotel rooms across the country.

The worst part of the whole damn thing happened after she'd publicly betrayed Kane and went with Edge. With Kane constantly looking for opportunities to harass them, Edge had allied with Gene Snitsky. God, she couldn't even look at that man without wanting to throw up. He made her feel filthy; she wanted to shower every time he was around. That is what she and Edge first fought about. She wanted nothing to do with him, while Edge saw the benefits in having someone that can provide protection from Kane. But after what he did to her. . . she'd never forgive Edge for making her work with Gene.

Already she could feel her skin crawl just by thinking of him. She shuddered as she got up and took a very hot shower, trying to rid herself of the disgust he inspired in her. It was past 10 when she finished. While she let her hair dry, she sat down on the bed to make some decisions. From her bag she pulled out her hotel reservations for Philadelphia. It had both her and Edge's names on it. She bit her lip, momentarily unsure of what she should do. Was she really that mad at him? Lita reached up and pressed her hand to her cheek, where he had hit her. The deep-set twinge of pain made the decision for her. She picked up the phone and called the hotel to cancel her reservation. When she was done, she resolved herself to feel confident in her decision. Was she only going to be strong and confident around Edge? Lita shook her head. No, she is the Queen of Extreme, and better than all the girls, and half the guys on the roster.

She got up and took her time getting dressed and packing up her things. One all the luggage was packed and lying on the bed, Lita went downstairs to use the small computer lab the hotel offered. There she arranged for a flight to Pennsylvania by herself. She had no doubt that Edge had already started his journey there. Once the tickets were ordered, she went back up stairs where she called a taxi to the airport.

The next few hours passed in a blur. Lita remembered going through the motions at the airport, but she didn't have any real conscious memories of the trip. She had spent the trip in a fog, her mind restless and troubled over what was happening between her and Edge. He had never hit her before yesterday. She didn't know what she was going to say to him when they met again. He was going to be pissed that she ditched their appearance, but that was the least of her priorities.

The flight over was uneventful. Nobody else from the company was on the flight, and no fans came to ask her for autographs or photos. She took the opportunity to catch up on some of the sleep she lost last night. After the plane landed, Lita took a taxi directly to her hotel. As far as she knew, none of the other wrestlers were staying there, which lent her even more blessed isolation. It wasn't until she was on her own that she realized she'd been craving to be on her own.

Her entire career had practically been like that. . . Essa had been the one to bring her to the company, and she had spent a lot of time with him. After that relationship ended, she had gone with Matt and Jeff and became part of Team Xtreme. Eventually Kane broke that up, and she was, unhappily, joined with him. And yet again, she jumped immediately into this relationship with Edge. She'd never had any meaningful period of time to be on her own, to find her own path and follow it unhindered.

When she got to her room she plied her luggage on one of the beds and lay down on the other. The bed was very comfortable, but she wasn't able to shake her anxiety over what had happened in Dallas. There were too many men bouncing around in her head right now. . . Edge, Kane, Jack. . . lending her no peace. She felt a longing urge deep in her chest. She tried to ignore it, concentrating a while on unpacking her things. But the urge refused to go away. She bit her lip, not happy that she felt this way. But she knew the urge, and knew there was only one way to quench it.

Lita grabbed her bag and opened the door onto her room's balcony. The weather here was already surprisingly cold, but she ignored it as she stepped out and walked to the railing. The cold helped to numb her body. She closed the door behind her and settled onto the ground, with her back resting against the door. From her bag she removed a small black box. For a moment she paused to examine it. This box had been in her bag a long time. She hadn't had need for it in a long time. She opened it and withdrew a single black clove cigarette.

Very few people knew that on very rare occasions Lita would smoke. Always cloves though, and only when she was severely stressed. Further down in the bag she found a box of matches and lit the cigarette. The pungent smell of the cloves filled her senses as she took a deep drag. The hot smoke helped to warm her as she held it in a moment, before releasing her breath. The smoke slowly rose upward in graceful swirls. Ironically she remembered the last time she had one. It was right after she had lost the baby. She smoked the cigarette slowly, allowing her nerves to calm as she watched the traffic pull in and out of the hotel ten floors below her. She finished the cigarette and closed her eyes. Already she felt better.

The events in Dallas had left her shaken. She still could not rationally explain why she helped Kane at the arena. And her stupidity at the nightclub shocked her even more. If he hadn't saved her, she'd probably be somewhere either raped, dead or both. By why had he saved her? Why was he there in the first place? He told her "A favor for a favor," but that didn't really explain why he was there. Was he stalking her again? Trying to re-involve himself in her life so he could somehow win her back? "Fat fucking chance," she spat bitterly.

After she had revealed her betrayal, and after the divorce, he had come after her with murder in his eyes. That tombstone pile driver he had given her on the metal ramp still rang quite clear in her mind. She had not only broken his heart, but the tiny bit of hope he had for the future. He hated her now, she was sure of that anyway. She certainly had taunted him enough after their breakup. Although a great deal of it had all been Edge's idea, she had contributed greatly to making Kane suffer. Still, for a while, she had always been nervously anticipating and attack by Kane. She hadn't told Edge, but during their live sex show, she was terrified that Kane would attack them. Even though he hadn't come after her or Edge in a while, she had no doubts his hate for them still burned hotly.

Before she even realized it, two hours had passed, and she was chilled to the bone. She went back inside and turned the heat up. What she really needed now, more than a cigarette, was time in the water. This was the kind of stress that only hours in the water could cure her of. She settled on the bed and flipped through the hotel directory, looking for the pool, or maybe a spa. She was incredibly happy to find not one, but two indoor pools listed. Lita quickly changed into her swimsuit and threw a few things into a bag to take with her. Finally, throwing a towel over her shoulder, she headed downstairs.

When Lita opened the door to the pool room, she thought for a moment she was at the wrong place. The room was so lavishly decorated, it looked more like a Turkish bath than a pool. The walls and floors were covered in huge, sweeping mosaics in tones of deep blue and green tile. The deck chairs were painted in rich jewel tones and were surrounded by several huge urns that were filled with potted ferns and flowers.

To Lita's greatest pleasure, there was nobody else there. She walked to the far edge of the pool and set down her things. Lita did not hesitate to dive in, the surprisingly warm water enveloping her senses. Rising only to take a breath, she quickly swam a lap of the pool. Here, at last, she was at peace. All her thoughts of Edge, Kane and her career went away. She allowed the natural buoyancy of her body to lift her, she broke the surface and began to float. She could hear nothing, feel nothing, see nothing. Of all her troubling thoughts over the past 48 hours, none of them could reach her now. Lita was completely at peace. She found herself thinking of home, how much she missed her life there. She hadn't seen her poor dogs in months. Her brother Lucas had become a father, and Lita hadn't even met her nephew. She'd even begun to forget the smell of the unusual lilac roses she grew in her yard.

She had no idea how much time had passed when she opened her eyes again. It could have been five minutes, or two hours. It didn't matter. She was relieved that she had been able to forget her men troubles for at least a little while. Through a window, she could see the sun was already beginning to set. In her stomach she could feel the bite of hunger, spurring her decision to leave. Lita swam to the pool's edge and pulled herself onto the ledge. When she stepped up onto the tiled floor, her feet slid out from under her and she found herself falling head first back into the water. She barely had time to cry out when her head cracked against one of the silver hand rails on the side of the pool. She couldn't feel anything as her body slowly settled to the bottom of the pool. Above her, in the water, a billow of red passed before her eyes.

And then there was nothing else.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Something was beeping very loudly. Her head ached so badly, each sound pounded like a stab inside her head. She moaned and tried to roll over, desperate to escape that damn sound! Opening her eyes was a huge struggle; she actually had to concentrate to force them open. Everything was a bright white blur. She closed her eyes and opened them again. Above her she could make out a fluorescent light set into a paneled ceiling. This wasn't her hotel room. . . Where was she?

Lita turned her head and saw an array of machines and computers clustered around her head. She looked down her body and saw it lying in an uncomfortable bed covered in a scratchy wool blanket. A hospital. . . Why the hell was she in a hospital? A long thin tube ran from the fluid bag above her head, snaking down to the needle that was taped into her arm. She got the incredible urge to get up, pull the IV out of her arm and get out of here. Lita moaned at the sudden rush of pain the flooded her head as she tried to sit up. She closed her eyes, willing the pain to go away. After a few moments the pain subsided enough that she felt ready to try opening her eyes again. She reached for one of the rails lining her bed, trying to pull herself into a sitting position. Instead of cold metal, her hand brushed something warm.

She couldn't contain her gasp of surprise as she puller her hand away from Kane's shoulder. _I must be hallucinating. This must be a dream. . . What do they call them, waking nightmares? Why else would I be in a hospital?_ Just to prove to herself she was dreaming, she reached again for Kane, determined to wave her hand through his imaginary head. She tried not to notice her hand trembled as she reached for him.

When her hand grazed the back of his head, she felt a jolt go through his body. He raised his head from the bed and stared at her. She stared back, surprised at how bloodshot his eyes were. He looked awful, like he hadn't slept in days. She wanted to ask him a thousand questions, but none of them would come to her lips. "How do you feel?" he asked, reaching behind her to press a switch on the wall. "Whu. . ." she tried, but her mouth was too dry. She paused and tried again. "What's going on? Where am I?" He sat back in his chair and said "Washington General Hospital, in Philly. You've been unconscious for three days."

She couldn't believe it. _How could I have been unconscious for three days?_ She thought hard, trying to remember what happened. When she reached up to touch her head, she was surprised to find several layers of gauze wrapped around her from the base of her neck stretching across her forehead. Fear pulsed through her as she tried to pull the material off. Kane saw what she was doing and got up to stop her. He grabbed her wrists and pulled them down to her side. Lita cried out and struggled against him, but she found her body was so weakened from lying in bed for three days that she barely had any strength. She began to feel the awful clutch in her heart, the fear hospitals spurred in her.

Being a wrestler meant a certain familiarity with hospitals, but Lita had never been able to shake her fear of them. The overwhelming feelings of fear, pain and death always deeply affected her. "What happened?" she asked through gritted teeth, fighting to keep calm. The sadness in Kane's face was obvious. "You went swimming at your hotel, but you fell in and cracked your head into one of the rails. The hotel had cameras in there and someone saw you fall. By the time someone got there, you had almost drowned. You have a four inch gash at the nape of your neck; eleven stitches."

_Okay_, she thought, _that explained enough, except for one thing_. "How did you find out?" she asked, her tone a bit more accusing than she had intended. What could have been a smile passed over his face. "Because I'm still listed as your next of kin." Embarrassed she realized she never changed her emergency contacts after their divorce. She wondered if Edge knew where she was. But she wasn't about to ask Kane.

Just then, the door opened and in came a young woman who wore a doctor's jacket over a pair of sky blue scrubs. The doctor's long brown hair was tied neatly into a pony tail that nearly reached her hips. She saw that Lita was awake and she smiled. "Good to see you finally came around!" she said, walking to the bed. Lita noticed how short the doctor was. She probably wasn't an inch over five feet tall. "Hello Lita, I'm Dr. Vera Costaline. I've been looking after you since you came in on Tuesday. Do you know what today is?" Lita thought for a moment. "Um, Friday?" she offered. Dr. Costaline smiled and nodded as she began to check Lita's pulse, temperature and the readings on the various machines around her.

"How are you feeling? Headaches, nausea, dizziness?" the doctor asked. "My head really, really hurts," Lita said, covering her eyes with her hands. The bright lights weren't helping with her headache. Dr. Costaline smiled and patted Lita's hand softly. "Well then lets get these bandages off and see how you're healing." Lita sat still while the doctor began to cut away the layers of gauze. Lita felt relieved when the gauze finally came off, but she was very anxious to see the wound. "No swelling, no redness, it looks like it's starting to heal very nicely." Dr. Costaline handed her a small mirror so Lita could see it. It didn't look that bad; the wound ran almost directly beneath her tattoo, almost as if it was underlining the Russian script. Running near the new wound was the thin scar left after her neck surgery.

"Was there any aggravation to the repairs in my spine?" she asked, remembering the hellish months when she was recuperating from breaking her neck. Dr. Costaline picked up Lita's charts and flipped through them a moment. Finally she smiled, "Initial CAT scans did not indicate you've damaged any of the repairs to your vertebrae. What we've primarily been focused on is the brain swelling you experienced after the fall. It had been reducing steadily, fortunately, and hopefully you'll experience no lingering effects of your little accident." As the doctor spoke, she made some notes on Lita's charts. "How soon can I leave?" Lita asked.

Dr. Costaline sighed. "That is the tricky part. After your accident, your brain immediately began to swell. We've brought it down nearly all the way, but we won't be able to clear you for release until the swelling is completely gone." Lita's face visibly fell. "We'll defiantly have to keep you another day, at the very least. I'll arrange a CAT scan first thing in the morning to see how you're progressing." Lita couldn't hide her disappointment. Dr. Costaline smiled and patted her hand softly. "If the scan turns out all clear we'll have you out of the door within minutes. Until then, how about I arrange for some dinner for you two? I bet you're starving."

Over the pain of her headache, she hadn't noticed how empty her stomach was. "That sounds really good," Lita said, the prospect of hot food the best news she'd gotten in a while. Dr. Costaline turned to Kane and smiled, "Sound good?" Kane nodded his agreement. "I'll arrange for Sylvia, your nurse tonight, to bring you two some meals. Then Lita, she'll help you bathe. The wound will need to be cleaned every six hours. If you start having pain and need some help, you can call for Sylvia and I'll make some medicine available for you." Lita thanked her. "Don't worry, we'll try our best to get you out the door as soon as possible." Once the door had closed behind her, the air seemed to become increasingly heavy as Kane watched her. She tried to ignore him for a moment, instead taking in the sterile hospital room: the television mounted on the wall, the small bathroom and the machines clustered around her head which monitored her vitals. She tried to focus on anything but Kane.

_Why isn't Edge here? Does he even know what happened? Has Kane told anyone where I am? And why is Kane feeding me this 'emergency contact' bullshit. Even if they had called him, he had no reason to come. What more did he owe her? Another tombstone, or perhaps a choke slam? Why not just pass the message to someone who cared? Had he tried to call her parents, or her brother even? _

She didn't even allow herself to entertain the fact he was there because he still had feelings for her.

After the doctor left, Lita was very unsure of what to say to Kane. They sat in silence, Kane watching her from his seat while Lita took in her surroundings: the television mounted on the wall, the small bathroom, and the machines monitoring her vitals. She looked at anything but Kane. Why isn't Edge here? Does he even know where she was? Even if Kane still was one of her emergency contacts, why would he have come? She closed her eyes and laid back into the pillows. As she swam through her thoughts, the nurse arrived carrying two trays.

Lita listened to her friendly chatter as she helped Lita sit up and arranged the swing tray over the bed so she could eat. After making sure Lita would be alright, she left with a promise to return in a little while to help her bathe. Lita examined her tray, and was surprised to see it was a vegetarian meal. That wasn't something they put in your medical records, was it? Then she realized that Kane must have told them about her preferences. When she picked up the silverware, the weight of the utensils was almost too much for her weakened body. Unwilling to ask for help, she managed to eat, although it took her a lot longer than it took Kane. If he noticed her plight, he said nothing.

Not long after she finished, Sylvia returned to help Lita bathe. When she stood, Lita found her legs barely wanted to support her. She had to lean heavily on Sylvia to make it to the bathroom. Even then she walked like a newborn giraffe. Lita hated this weakness, hated how she had to depend on others. Hell, that was even worse than her fear of hospitals and needles. Sylvia helped her into the steaming bath tub, careful not to let her slip; again. Sylvia hummed softly as she helped scrub Lita's back. "You're still not feeling too much pain are you honey? Dr. Costaline has made some meds available for you," she said helpfully. Lita shook her head, "No thanks." Lita was surprised when the nurse quietly commented, "Your husband has been worried about you. . . He got here very quickly after we called him. I don't think he's left your side since." Lita didn't know what to say. _Apparently Kane hasn't updated anyone on our new marital status_, she thought bitterly. She nodded silently, not wanting to have to describe one of the worst years of her life to a complete stranger. Sylvia continued; "I think it is odd though, that a husband and wife who are so in love do not wear wedding rings."

Inwardly Lita cursed. _What the hell am I supposed to say? 'Oh, our rings are at the jewelers? Oh, we don't believe in rings. Oh, we're so much in love we forgot them?_' She placed her hands gently on Lita's shoulders. "It is pretty obvious that you two aren't a couple. If you do not want him here, we can have him leave," the nurse said, studying Lita's face carefully, seeking an answer. On the outside, Lita kept her composure, inside she was scrambling for an answer. _This could be the perfect opportunity to get away from Kane_, the rational part of her mind told her. _Sure, and give him a reason to get pissed at me and start harassing me again_, she reflected. By now the company would have moved on, and Lita was left completely on her own if he left. Facing an unlimited number of days alone in this hospital was the last thing she wanted.

Taking a pretty big gamble, she put on her most innocent smile and said, "I don't know how you got a bad impression, but Kane and I are fine." If Sylvia was unsatisfied, she didn't say anything. "We'll that's good then. Having loving encouragement always makes the healing go faster." And almost as if they'd been talking about the weather, Sylvia went back to scrubbing Lita's hair. Inwardly, Lita dwelled on the implications of her decision. Because her stay was still indeterminate, she wasn't looking forward to potentially spending days here alone. But was spending time with Kane any better than facing it alone? _Okay, he hasn't exactly done anything to hurt me recently. . . But what are his real reasons for coming here?_ She was lost in her thoughts when Sylvia finished and helped her out of the bathtub. Lita was quiet as she dried off and changed into a fresh hospital gown.

When they stepped back into the room, Kane was still reclining in the armchair at Lita's bedside. While she had been bathing, he had pulled on a grey hoodie and was reading a large leather bound book. He looked up at her, but she couldn't identify his mood. He watched silently as Sylvia helped Lita get back into the bed. Once Sylvia had arranged the blankets neatly over Lita's lap, she left, promising to look in on them after a while. After she'd gone, Kane asked Lita, "Do you want to sleep? I could put on Smackdown if you would like." Lita shook her head. "Put on the show. Give me something to look forward to when I get out of here." He got up and switched on the television, flipping through the channels for a few moments before he found the correct one. Lita was glad to have something to distract them. The awkward silence between them was growing oppressive. She watched the matches half heartedly. Part of her couldn't decide if she was happy Kane was here, or not. She was deeply bothered by the fact that Edge was not here. She had no idea where her cell phone was, so she wouldn't know even if he tried to call.

On the television, some very familiar music began to play. She flinched as Matt Hardy's entrance theme played. She glanced over at Kane, who was watching stoically. As Matt came out, she appreciated how good it was to see him back competing. Despite their rough breakup and ensuing madness, they did not hate each other. Regardless of the intense anger following their break-up, as time passed they were able to be around each other. Hell, there were times like they could talk like old friends. But there would never, could never be anything deeper than that between them. Kane however, she was sure, still had a lot to hate Matt for. She heard Kane's breathing deepen as he watched Matt jump into the ring. After a moment, Kane suddenly got up and turned the television off. She could feel the tension in his body from across the room. Warily she watched him. He paced furiously across the room, an angry scowl on his face. He went back to his chair, but instead of sitting, he pulled it right up to the bed. He sat down, staring at her straight in the face.

His demeanor changed almost immediately, his face relaxed, loosing all signs of anger or malice and his breathing returned to normal. He stared at her intently. Unsure of what was going on, Lita stared back at him. They sat like that for a long moment. Finally he spoke, low and soft. "Why did you come after me?" Lita's mouth began to move, but no words came out. She had no idea what to tell him, so she settled on being defensive. "Are you upset that I did?" she said in a harsh tone. He looked at her curiously. To Lita's surprise, he laughed at her. "Okay," he said, "We'll leave it at that." She looked at him scornfully, wishing he would just leave.

Before she could respond, the door opened, and Sylvia arrived with Lita's medication and orders to go to sleep. "We encourage all patients to go to sleep at this hour. It helps with the healing process. They will also be coming to take you for your CAT scan at precisely 8:00 am. Which means you need to be awake and ready by then." Lita offered no protest. At least going to sleep would allow her to forget the awkwardness with Kane tonight. Sylvia helped Lita settle down into bed, and made sure the electronic monitors were all set into silent mode. After she bade them goodnight, Lita watched Kane settle into the armchair and pull a blanket around his shoulders.

Lita rolled over, turning her back to him. She took the opportunity of the silence to sort out her thoughts. She couldn't decide if keeping Kane around was a good idea or not. His famous temper could turn on her at any moment. She wasn't about to ask him his reasons for coming here. At least she wasn't going to be alone. Having someone familiar around helped curb her anxiety. But was Kane really that comforting? One of their last moments together had been during a tombstone pile-driver. Before she even realized it, the medicine worked it's chemical magic and pulled her into a deep sleep. But the last thing she would remember in the morning was Kane's low, rough voice telling her, "Goodnight Lita."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

As promised, an orderly came to Lita's room precisely at 8 am. Lita and Kane had been woken up an hour earlier when Sylvia had brought them breakfast. Lita had hardly been able to eat. Her stomach was uneasy with anxiety over the CAT scan she was about to have. The idea of being shoved into that tiny opening in the scanner made her nervous. She had done them before, several times after she'd broken her neck. But that didn't change the fact that she hated them. The uncertainty of it got to her. Would it be good news, putting her on the fast track home, or would it be a crushing blow to her recovery? Her stomach churned with anxiety as the orderly brought a wheelchair into her room.

As the orderly helped transfer her into the wheelchair, Lita was reminded how weakened she really was as muscles in her legs shook when she stood. Kane followed close behind Lita as the orderly wheeled her through the hallways. The trip to the CAT scan center seemed to take forever, rolling through long corridors and winding halls. Lita shuddered as they silently passed a small group, a family, crying outside a room with the door closed. When her nerves became too much for her, she reached out and found Kane beside her. His hand found hers and held it tightly. He knew her dislike of hospitals and needles especially well. Even now her IV was covered with a wrap to keep it out of her sight. The firmness of his grip helped to comfort her. She didn't let go until they reached the lab.

Dr. Costaline was already there, waiting for them. She greeted Lita warmly. "How are you feeling?" Lita smiled weakly, "Alright. . . I'm just anxious to get this over with." Dr. Costaline smiled and said, "I promise we'll get you back to your room as soon as possible. This should only take a few minutes." As the scan technician helped position Lita inside the machine, Dr. Costaline talked her through the procedure and explained everything that would happen. This was probably meant to ease her fears, but it wasn't really helping. When the scan began, Lita closed her eyes tightly and focused all her attention on her breathing, trying to distract herself.

Before she knew it, the scan was over. She was almost joyful as the orderly took her and Kane back to Lita's room. As the orderly helped to put Lita back into her bed, she began to dread the awful silence that would take over when he'd leave. If she had to be here days, the tension between her and Kane would drive her crazy. When he put on his headphones and took out his Ipod, Lita was relieved. She lay back into her pillows and closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. Really she was just sorting out her thoughts. He had asked her why she'd come after him at the show. She had no answer for him. _Even more than that, he needs to tell me how he just happened to appear in the ally where Jack attacked me_, she thought angrily. _He had absolutely no right to follow me and interfere in my life. His domain over me ended a long time ago. How dare he eve-_

"Lita?"

She opened her eyes in surprise. Kane had taken off his headphones and was looking at her funny. Trying to play it off, she moaned sleepily, "What?" He shook his head at her. "I find it very hard to believe someone who is asleep has their brow furrowed in deep concentration." Lita rolled her eyes. "Do you want to tell me what is so heavy on your mind?" he asked softly, but it seemed more like a command then a request. She paused for a moment, her anger growing hotter each second. "What is heavy on my mind?" she scoffed at him. "What the hell do you think I'm thinking about? How about you stalking me? How about you invading my privacy and butting into my life?" she shouted at him. She saw the anger in his eyes as he stood up, towering over her. When he suddenly leaned down, pausing only inches away from her face, she flinched. "Are you saying that you don't appreciate that I saved you from being gang raped and killed?" he hissed, his voice dripping with venom. "Because next time I could just leave you to the wolves." His eyes burrowed into hers, and suddenly she felt like a small white mouse being watched by a hungry snake.

"At least tell me why," she whispered, closing her eyes to block out his hard gaze. When he watched her eyes close fearfully, he heaved a deep sigh. She looked so pale and frail against the plain white covers. Her eyes were ringed with dark circles, and no healthy color painted her face. It killed him to see her like this. In that small moment he forgot his anger and wished for nothing more than to lie beside her and comfort her. But he knew she'd rather suffer a thousand choke-slams than seek comfort in his arms. "Because I owed him a little something for what he did to me in the ring. I was looking for him; I was ready to beat the living shit out of him," Kane said solemnly. _See, that's perfectly obvious dummy_, she groaned inwardly, _Edge and his buddies always hit the town after a show._ Kane was relieved when she looked like she'd accepted his answer. He didn't tell her how Maria had come looking for him, crying about how Edge had hit Lita, causing Kane's blood to boil.

When she opened her eyes, Kane could see the regret they held. He turned away from her. She waited for him to say something, but he never did. Rather than make the situation any worse, he settled back into his chair and put on his headphones. Lita moaned and covered her eyes with her free arm. _It's not always about you, now is it?_ she thought, taunting herself. She spent the next few minutes wallowing in self pity before Dr. Costaline returned with Lita's scan results. The doctor perched at Lita's bed side, holding the scan images so both Lita and Kane could see. Even though she'd seen this kind of black and white scans before, she could never tell what exactly she was looking at. Dr. Costaline clarified, "Lita, I'm sorry but we'll need to keep you for an additional day. There is still some residual swelling that is of concern. Right now it is minor, and we want to keep it that way, and see it go down completely. But we can't let you go until that happens." Even though the news technically wasn't bad, Lita couldn't hide her disappointment. She couldn't take another day lying in this uncomfortable bed, torturing herself about the past few days with Kane.

Dr. Costaline picked up on Lita's distress and suggested, "But the best thing to do right now would be some light activity. You need to get your body used to moving again. I suggest you try walking, but take it easy. Try going once around the room, and expanding from there. But I only want you to do what you can without overexerting yourself. You will undoubtedly tire very easily. And you are not to do it alone. Kane, you'll need to accompany her to make sure she doesn't fall or overexert herself." Lita's reaction was lukewarm. "You know," Dr. Costaline suggested, "Our PT department has a small pool they use for various water therapies. If you enjoy swimming, I could arrange a session for you."

_YEEEESSS!_ Lita cried in her head. "That sounds really great!" she said somewhat calmly. Dr. Costaline smiled and laughed. "That's perfectly fine. Kane, I'll still need you to go with her, to make sure she doesn't slip or get too tired." He nodded silently. "You guys probably need some swimwear. Let me make a call to PT and see what we can do about that," Dr. Costaline said as she got up. "We have our own," Kane spoke up suddenly. Lita looked at him curiously. She realized she didn't even know where her luggage was. "Your hotel let me pick up your stuff. I have it downstairs," he said, as if it was obvious. 'Well good," Dr. Costaline said cheerfully. "Why don't you go collect those and I'll talk to Dr. Bowman over at PT." He avoided Lita's astonished gaze as he left with the doctor.

_Oh great, so he's had my phone this entire time, and didn't bother to tell me. What else is he hiding? _So many thought and accusations were flying through her mind she couldn't think straight. She picked up her hairbrush and occupied herself with getting rid of the snarls in her hair. It took fifteen minutes an eternity to pass before Kane returned carrying a black carry-on bag she recognized as her own. "I. . . I put some things in here I thought you might like," he said, casting his gaze elsewhere except on her. He sat it gently on her lap, and she eagerly opened it and dumped its contents on the blanket. She sorted through some shirts, running pants, underwear, some hygiene items, a magazine she picked up at the airport and her black bikini. "Thank you," she said off-handedly.

It was going on 11:00 when Sylvia returned, bringing with her two lunches. Lita was slightly annoyed, she would much rather go to the pool than eat. Grudgingly she allowed Sylvia to help arrange her tray. She and Kane ate in silence, Lita was too distracted to make small talk. The twenty minutes it took to eat seemed like an eternity. Finally Sylvia returned to remove the IV line; but leaving the needle taped securely into her arm. Kane was banished to change in the bathroom so Sylvia could help Lita change into her bikini. The nurse smiled and shook her head at the black bikini covered with jeweled skulls. Once Lita was changed, Kane came out from the bathroom, dressed in his own black trunks and a few towels over his arm.

A different orderly this time arrived with a wheelchair for Lita. She still hated the sensation of being so weak, she was not the kind of person who enjoyed being reliant on others for support. The trip this time, was very different than the last. Since the PT department was located in another building of the hospital, the orderly led them outside along a bricked walkway. Both Kane and Lita had to shut their eyes against the blazing brilliance of the sunlight. The feel of the sun's warm rays on Lita's face and bare shoulders was wonderful, she almost regret going back inside.

The interior of the Physical Therapy Department was bright and airy, a far cry from the bare, plain walls of the patient's ward. They were escorted into one of the main therapy rooms where Dr. Amanda Bowman was waiting for them. "You all must be Lita and Kane. Dr. Costaline called me and said that you would benefit from some hydrotherapy," she said, smiling kindly. Lita really didn't pay attention to the safety and rules procedures for the session; her skin was itching to get into the water. Fortunately Dr. Bowman didn't waste too much time, and soon led them into the pool room.

While much smaller than a normal swimming pool, the PT pool was designed purely for physical therapy. The water was purposely kept warm and the sunlight streaming in through the windows helped to keep the room warm. Dr. Bowman instructed Kane go in the water first, so he could help Lita enter without hurting herself. He got into the water, which only came halfway up his chest before he turned and reached for her. Lita cast her gaze aside as his large hands encircled her waist and carefully lowered her into the water. The water was only about four feet deep, and came up to the top of her chest. Dr. Bowman knelt beside the pool's edge and suggested, "Why don't you try walking laps around the pool. Don't go to fast, just go so you're comfortable. Kane, you should follow behind her to help her keep her balance." Kane's warm hands once again took hold of her waist, helping to steady her as she moved slowly around the pool. She walked a few laps to acclimate her muscles to the movements. The process of walking here was so much easier, which encouraged her to do more. For a little while, Dr. Bowman watched, making sure that Lisa was doing okay. Eventually she sat up and said, "You're progressing very well. I don't think you need to push yourself too far today. You can have some personal time to relax here if you'd like." Lita pushed her damp hair away from her face and excitedly said yes. Dr. Bowman agreed, but made sure to remind her, "Don't do anything too strenuous. I'll check in on you all in a little while."

After the doctor left, Lita turned to look at Kane. "Would you like me to give you some private time?" he asked softly. She paused awkwardly. A thousand different replies flew through her mind, but none of them quite made it to her mouth. She had no idea what to say. "I. . .I would like you to stay as long as you would like." _At least he could make the decision for himself_. He looked like he wanted to smile, but he didn't.

Lita moved towards the center of the pool and lay back, allowing the natural buoyancy of her body to lift her to the surface. _Oh my God, I needed this!_, she thought, feeling the soothing effects of the water flowing over her body. The pain that had settled in her back and shoulders started to melt away. She sighed softly, completely at peace.

From across the pool, Kane watched her. She looked like an angel as the light from the window made her pale skin glow and her hair spread out over the water like a halo. As he watched her, he became deeply conflicted. Part of him still hated her for her deceptions; but another part of him was still madly in love with her. A few months ago all he had wanted was to make her suffer. He had opened himself to her, showed her the parts of himself that he kept hidden from everyone else. But she had betrayed him, embarrassed him, denied him. And he had wanted to make her pay dearly for her transgressions.

But as he watched her gently floating near him, he knew he could never harm her. Kane felt like he stopped breathing as he slowly moved towards her. She didn't seem to notice as he sank to his knees and reached out to gently splay his hands on her bare back.

The sensation of warm hands on her body brought Lita back to the real world. Was something wrong? There wasn't urgency in his touch, his hands only rested gently on her skin. She opened her eyes and looked at him. When he saw her open her eyes, he reached down and brushed some of her hair away from her face. She looked at him curiously. "Is everything alright?" she asked softly, seeking some indication in his face. Her brow furrowed when she thought she saw pain in his eyes. His hands began to move, running along the length of her body, slowly pulling her against him. The heat from his body flowed over her, confusing her thoughts. Part of her wanted to push away, disturbed and unsure of his intentions. But even more disturbing was the part of her that was willing to fall into his dangerous embrace. Her heart started to pound, either from fear or anticipation, but she couldn't identify which.

Suddenly, with a boldness that shocked both of them, Kane leaned over and gently pressed his lips to hers. The kiss lasted only for a brief moment before he pulled away. He was shocked at his actions. _Why the hell did you do that? She doesn't want you to touch her anymore, you freak!_ She saw him grimace slightly, as if he expected her to slap him. Her mind was reeling. _What just happened? Did he really just kiss me, or did I imagine it?_ He began shaking his head sadly and pulled away, moving back to the edge of the pool. With her heart pounding and her thoughts racing, Lita struggled to stand. She crossed the distance between them, looking at him intently. She looked deep into his eyes and was shocked to see fear there. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, her body was completely numb. It was almost like someone else was controlling her as she felt herself reaching for him.

Kane looked down at her, completely unsure of what was going to happen. Her eyes stared deep into his; he got the feeling she was looking straight through him. He couldn't read her expression. And for the second time in his life, he was completely shocked as she fell against him and sought another kiss. Boldly he crushed her to him as her hands went around his neck to cradle his face. It was almost painful to kiss her. Bad memories surged through his mind as he held her in a gentle embrace. Pain, hate, fear coursed through his body, but they were soon drowned in a tide of sweeping desire. Their kiss stayed light and gentle, each unready to take the plunge into something deeper.

Lita's heart was beating so fast she thought it would burst. She was so afraid to reopen their past, but she felt like she would burn without his touch. Her heart pounded, and she could feel the familiar heaviness of desire in her chest and abdomen as he set her body on fire wherever he touched her. His hands roamed over her body and she pressed even closer to him, encouraging his touch. He wanted her fiercely, but he did not deepen their embrace. For now he was satisfied with these gentle touches and caresses. The pain of their past weighed too heavy in his heart for him to do something rash. No matter how much his body told him to.

It was he who ended the embrace. For a moment he thought he saw hurt in her eyes, but couldn't be sure. A light knocking at the door brought them both back to reality. Almost like they had been shocked, they pulled away from each other. A moment later Dr. Costaline entered, smiling brightly at seeing Lita up and active. "How does it feel to be active again?" she asked, walking to the edge of the pool closest to Lita. "Good," she replied, "Really great. I've missed this," she said softly. Dr. Costaline smiled, but said, "I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself so much. Unfortunately we do need to get you back to the room so we can get you back on the IV fluids and check the wound."

Reluctantly Lita allowed Kane to pick her up and place her back in the wheelchair as Dr. Costaline helped Lita put a towel around her body. The trio went back to Lita's room where Sylvia was waiting to help Lita dress. Kane quickly dried off and changed in the bathroom. When he came out, Lita was back in the hospital gown as Sylvia helped her into bed. She was too distracted to see him slip from the room.

Kane went out to the parking lot where his car sat in the sun. He unlocked it and sat down behind the wheel. But he didn't turn it on. He was deeply troubled by the events of the last few days. He had never intended to get close to Lita again. And for a while he had been successful at avoiding seeing her draped over Edge. He would be perfectly happy going to another brand if it meant keeping away from her. And up until that phone call, he'd been alright. The phone call from the hospital on Tuesday had disturbed him. Instead of seeking out Edge, or maybe her brother, he had rushed to her side, causing the turmoil he was currently ensnared in. Watching her lying prone in that hospital for three days had taken a huge toll on him. Walking into the hospital room that first day, his heart pounding, mind racing, had been terrible. She'd been intubated at that point, a mess of wires and tubes attached to her body. She looked so pale, so weak. . . When he reached out and touched her hand, the coldness of her skin shocked him. He didn't know if she would be angry at his presence when she woke, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. Hell, he didn't even know if she'd wake up at that point.

Why was he getting involved with her now? What was the point? After all the pain, humiliation, false hopes, betrayal. . . What would he possibly gain from this woman who made him walk through hell? He felt anger rising within him, and the idea of simply leaving her here became more and more appealing. But then the memory of her face swam into his mind's eye and he remembered why he could never hurt her; why he loved her still.

She was beautiful, in every sense of the word. It was her spirit, her passion that had first drawn him to her. She was the Queen of Extreme, passionate, strong, powerful and free. And she belonged to Matt Hardy. The intense love between them was something he could never hope to share. But still he became insanely jealous of all Matt had. He wanted that fire, that passion, that excitement, that love. . . He began to covet her, driven to posses her body, mind and soul. But that meant that Matt Hardy had to be eliminated. So he began his ruthless assaults on Matt until she succumbed to him. By using his influence with the management, he managed to arrange a series of matches that eventually sealed Lita to him. He briefly remembered the beautiful white dress he'd lovingly chosen for her on their wedding day, and how she'd made her own protest by dying it black. Even with that look of pure hate on her face, she was still beautiful to him.

But it was no good to have her when she hated him. Yet he kept her, hoping that perhaps having their baby would help her come to him. And things had subtly began to change. And when it finally seemed like they could be happy, it was all stolen away. And then she betrayed him in the worst way.

Kane sat at the wheel a long time, arguing with himself. Part of him wanted just to leave; leave this woman and all the pain she evoked in him. Another part of him said to go back to her room and comfort her, stay with her, love her. It seemed like an eternity before he decided. Firm in his resolve, he started the vehicle and drove out of the parking lot and away from the hospital.

Back in her room, Lita too was struggling with the implications of their actions. She couldn't believe the responses he elicited from her body from his simple touches and kisses. Her skin felt like it was on fire wherever he had touched her; the ache of desire still stubbornly burned in her abdomen. She kept asking herself one question over and over. Why had she kissed him back? The fact that she could not answer it frightened her. The rest of the night she was lost in deep reflection. She clutched the sheets over her head and prayed to fall asleep so she could be released from the turmoil in her mind and body. But even as she finally drifted away, he was still there, softly whispering in her ear, "Goodnight Lita."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

Author's Note: I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read and review my story. You are all so wonderful, you make me want to keep this going. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story.

_Kane's lips burned her skin as he trailed kisses over her neck and shoulders. Lita threw her head back, inviting him to go further as the water swirled around them. His hands combed through her hair, causing her to shiver in delight. She had lost all coherent thought, but as long as he kept kissing her, she didn't care. The swell of desire was already pounding hard inside her as she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. He groaned as she pressed against his chest, allowing him to feel all of her curves. Kane crushed his mouth to hers as his hands moved to encircle her neck, cradling her face gently. She moaned in displeasure as he pulled away. The pressure on her neck startled her. She reached up to pull his hands away, but they were clamped tight, like a vise. Her heart nearly stopped beating when she looked up and saw that all passion had left his eyes, replaced with a murderous gaze. She beat on his arms with her fists, trying to get him to let go, but he was immovable. He leaned over her, forcing her body underwater. She continued to struggle, trying to kick and scratch him, but he withstood her blows, the pressure on her neck increasing with every moment. Her lungs began to burn and her heart pounded like mad. The edge of her vision began to be tinged with black as her empty lungs screamed for air. The last thing she ever saw was Kane laughing as the life finally left her body. _

Lita moaned softly and opened her eyes. Her entire body ached and she could feel a headache building behind her eyes. She had slept fitfully, her continuous nightmares had been accented with restlessness as she awoke every hour or so. She had no idea what time it was, but sleeping was no longer appealing. She rolled over, pulling the blanket back up over her shoulders. Next to her bed sat the armchair Kane had occupied until he hadn't returned last night. She had absolutely no idea if he would come back at all, or if he would ever speak to her again. Never in her life had she thought she'd ever kiss him again. The vulnerability that moment exposed in her was frightening. _Did I do it for comfort; out of loneliness? Did I go insane for a few minutes? How do I even know all this was part of his plans; making me feel this way and taking off? _

A slight knock at the door brought her back to reality. A second later, Sylvia entered the room, allowing enough light from the hallway to dimly illuminate the room. "Ah, you're awake," she said, moving to Lita's bedside so she could see some of the various monitors on the wall. "Our monitors in the nursing station registered a pretty big spike in your heart rate. Is everything alright?" she asked as she adjusted one of the machines. "Oh, just nightmares and stuff," Lita said, trying to sound as normal as she could. "Must have been a pretty bad nightmare to cause a spike like that. . ." Sylvia said off-handedly. Silently Lita nodded, trying not to think about the disturbing dream. Satisfied that there was no real emergency, Sylvia offered Lita breakfast. "It's past 6:30. Dr. Costaline arranged for your next CAT scan at 8. Would you like me to go ahead and bring you breakfast?" Having absolutely nothing better to do, Lita agreed. After the nurse had gone, Lita distracted herself by turning on the TV to the morning news. A few minutes Sylvia returned with breakfast for Lita. "Is your husband coming back soon?" she asked as she helped Lita sit up. "Uh. . . He just had some business to go and take care of," she said lamely. Sylvia started to respond when a sharp beeping issued from her hip. The nurse frowned and pulled a pager from her pocket. She glanced at the code and quickly exclaimed, "Sorry, there's an emergency," before she ran out the door which closed behind her with a resounding thud.

Lita spent the next hour finishing her meal and slowly washing up before her CAT scan. Sylvia had not yet returned, which indicated to Lita whatever emergency she had was pretty bad. At eight on the dot, a different orderly came to her room with a wheelchair in tow. Lita was in a haze as she was wheeled down the long hallways to the scanning lab. This time Dr. Costaline was not there, but Lita did recognize the same technicians that helped her the last time. She had to grit her teeth to keep her nerves under control, but she managed to handle the scan alright. A few minutes later she was on her way back to her room. The orderly helped her back into bed before quietly leaving. On the nightstand, she noticed someone had placed a copy of the local paper. Thankfully to whoever had left it, she snatched it up and busied herself reading. It was nearly 10 when Dr. Costaline arrived carrying a new set of scan results. "Good morning! I have some great news for you!" she exclaimed, moving to show the images to Lita. Although Lita still couldn't tell what she was looking at, the doctor said, "The swelling has completely gone down. You can go home now." Lita sighed heavily as relief flooded her. "Thank God," was all she could manage. "All we need to do is get some paperwork taken care of and we'll have you out the door very soon," Dr. Costaline said, patting Lita's hand. "I'll go ahead and get everything started for you," she said, smiling broadly at seeing the relief in Lita's eyes.

After the doctor had gone, Lita grabbed the bag Kane had brought her and pulled out some clothes. She couldn't put on a shirt with the needle in her arm, but she did pull on a pair of black running pants, socks and shoes. She had just finished when Sylvia came in, carrying a small stack of papers. "I've come to spring you from the joint!" she joked as the moved to Lita's side. "I think first things first we need to do is get that IV out of your arm," she said, laughing at the look of pure joy that crossed Lita's face. She had Lita lie back as she disconnected the fluid line, and then began to pull out the actual IV. Lita turned away and shuddered as Sylvia withdrew the needle, leaving a deep blue bruise in the crook of her arm. Sylvia took a moment to arrange the discharge papers while Lita changed into a grey hooded sweatshirt with flames running up and down the arms. Sylvia then began handing her various papers, like aftercare instructions, and some insurance forms. But that was it. Lita frowned, confused. "Don't I have a bunch of stuff to sign?" The nurse flipped through the papers she held, and shook her head. "No, all that's been taken care of," she said, showing the papers to Lita.

Lita's heart nearly stopped when she recognized Kane's signature scrawled across the papers. She looked at Sylvia, and was surprised to see a sly, half smile on the nurse's face. She hadn't been expecting Kane to come back, much less be standing in the doorway with a wheelchair, ready to take her away. He had a small smile on his face as he asked, "So how does it feel to be escaping?" he asked. Lita couldn't do much but open and close her mouth. She was sure he'd moved on to wherever the company was now. He came into the room, picking up Lita's bag where it lay on the floor. Sylvia helped Lita to stand and asked, "Are you sure you have everything?" Lita nodded as the nurse helped her to the wheelchair. Sylvia handed Kane Lita's bag as she said goodbye to Lita. The two women hugged each other fondly as Sylvia said, "Now be careful, and look out for yourself. I don't want to have to see you back here." "Thank you. . . for everything," Lita said softly as Kane began to wheel her out of the room. A gentle hand on his arm caused him to pause. He turned to see the matronly nurse staring at him. Very softy she spoke, "Take care of her." Silently he nodded, before turning back to Lita.

Together they made their way to the main entrance where Kane's SUV waited for them. Through the windows, she could see her luggage stacked in back. He wheeled her to the passenger's side and offered her his hand so she could climb in. She did not hesitate to take it, allowing his other arm to circle her back, giving her more support. She kept looking at him oddly, as if she still didn't believe that he was here. He tried his best to avoid looking in her eyes. He put her bag in back before climbing into the driver's seat. Lita noticed how tired he looked. She hadn't really thought about how this whole situation was affecting him. She had no doubts she looked just as tired and worn as he. _Won't we look in fine shape returning to the company?_

They rode in silence as he left the hospital and got on the highway. Lita wasn't really sure where they were going. She'd never been to this part of Philly before. She leaned to the side so her forehead rested against the cool glass of the passenger's window. She had no idea what was going to happened when they rejoined the company. There would be questions, of that there was no doubt. She couldn't even to begin to imagine what Edge would say when he saw her. Much less, how could she walk into the arena, weak as a child and pretend everything was okay? And what would people say when Kane was the one supporting her? The headache that had been brewing since she woke up was getting stronger as she asked herself more and more questions.

It was she who finally broke the silence. "Thank you. For coming back. You didn't have to." A moment passed before he said, "I just wanted to make sure you got home okay," while not taking his eyes away from the road. But she was confused. She was going home? Lita lay back against her seat, wondering where they were going. She was surprised when he handed her an envelope. She regarded it carefully a moment before opening it and found a plane ticket home inside. She turned it over, not believing it was real. But there it was, in her name. "I talked to Lucas. He'll meet you at the airport in Atlanta and take you home," Kane said stoically.

She was absolutely speechless. He went on, "I talked to the management. They agreed to give you ten days of leave. After that you'll rejoin the company in Seattle. Until then you need to rest and work on getting your strength back." "H-how did you arrange all this?" she asked, not really believing it was true. "They know some, but not everything about what happened," he said cryptically. Her heart fluttered at the thought of having so much time to be home. And her brother! She hadn't seen Lucas in over a year, not since she lost the baby._ Why would he go to all this trouble for me?_ She glanced over at him, noticing how tense his body was as he leaned over the steering wheel. "Why are you doing this?" she asked after a long pause. His body heaved with a deep breath. "Christ knows what I've put you through. For once I wanted to make you happy." Lita didn't know what to say, but managed a lame "Thanks." She leaned heavily against the door, resting her cheek against the window, her heart troubled and her mind uneasy.

As they arrived at the airport, Kane walked Lita inside, dropped off her luggage and helped her through security. In the mob of people being screened, Kane's presence behind her helped keep her calm. He followed close enough behind her that he could touch her if he needed to. Lita wondered at the lengths he had gone to in order to make this happen for her. Each step closer to the gate saw her grow happier, as she knew she would be home soon. Finally they were through security and into the long room of boarding gates. He led her to Gate 34, Philadelphia to Atlanta. They still had a good 30 minutes before boarding began. They found two seats at the far edge of the gate, away from the other passengers. They sat in silence, each completely unsure of what to say to the other. They watched planes landing and taking off outside the huge window for a while. Lita bit her lip as she looked down and saw his large hand resting innocently on his thigh. She looked at it, curious. _Such an innocent thing, a hand. So much potential for good, so much potential for destruction._

Almost without thinking, she reached out her hand and placed it gently upon his. The feel of her hand sent a jolt through his body. He looked down and stared at it, expecting her to realize her error and pull her hand away. But it remained. The call for passenger boarding brought them both back to reality. He pulled his hand from hers, and helped her to stand. Together they walked to the gate. It was time to go, but Lita didn't go through. She stood awkwardly under his gaze. He handed her the carry-on bag and gently placed hi hands on her shoulders. His touch sent a wave of warmth through her body. A soft sigh escaped her as she looked up to him. "I.. . I want to. . . thank you for helping me so much," she said softly. "I've. . . we've both hurt each other so much. I want to apologize, but it seems pretty futile right now, you know?" she said, shaking her head sadly._ It was stupid of me to say anything. Like a few stupid words would change the torment we've gone through_, she chastised herself bitterly.

When he leaned forward and brushed his lips to hers, she couldn't help the tears that fell. "Do not worry, you owe me nothing," he said, holding her tightly, using his thumb to gently brush the tears from her cheeks. In that embrace, Lita finally admitted to herself that she needed his forgiveness for all that had passed between them. He leaned down again and kissed her again, crushing her against his body, desperate to feel as much of her as he could. Never again had he thought he would ever taste Lita's kiss, which made him all the more determined to savor it. The kiss quickly deepened as Lita desperately clutched him. The feel of his tongue as it entered her caused her to moan deep in her chest, her knees buckling at the sensation. He caught her, unwilling to end the embrace.

The stewardess' last call for passengers caused them to break apart. This time she couldn't conceal the hurt in her eyes. She hurriedly wiped her tears on her sleeve as Kane handed Lita her boarding pass and ushered her to the gate. He gave her one last lingering kiss on the cheek before she handed her ticket to the stewardess. She turned back to see him one last time, but he was already gone.

As Lita disappeared down the long tunnel to the plane, the young man sitting in the waiting area saved the video file he had just recorded on his Iphone. He had never believed that while visiting his Great Aunt Doris in Philly that he would see Kane and Lita, especially in such an intimate embrace. He wasted no time using his Iphone to upload the video to Youtube. He quickly titled it "Kane and Lita Re-United" before he headed off to find his own plane.

The flight from Philly to Atlanta took 2 and ½ hours. Lita was able to sleep fitfully through most of the trip, the memory of her last embrace with Kane kept bursting into her thoughts. But as they got closer and closer to Atlanta, she became extremely excited. By the time the plane landed, it was nearly sundown. She was able to get her luggage very quickly, and then went out to the passenger pickup area where here brother was supposed to be waiting for her.

She walked along the rows of cars, eventually spotting the bright red sports car that was her brother's pride and joy. And there he was, sitting on the hood, scanning the crowd for a sign of his sister. Lucas looked a lot like his sister. They both shared the same angular faces and the same intense, piercing eyes. He however, towered nearly a foot over her 5'7 frame. Finally he spotted her and jumped from the hood and rushed to give her a hug. "Baby sister!" he cried, giving her a huge bear hug and lifting her several feet off the ground. She couldn't help the tears of joy that fell. Even though she was three years older than he, Lucas would call her "Baby Sister" to play with her. "I hear you've had quite the time in Philly," he said as he loaded her luggage into the trunk. "That is a very long story," Lita signed as she climbed into the passenger seat.

A sudden cry behind her startled Lita. She whirled around and saw a pair of bright blue eyes staring curiously at her. As Lucas got into the car, he reached over to check on the baby. Lita was astonished. "That isn't Alex, is it?" she asked, shocked at how large the baby had gotten. She had never actually met her little nephew before. She had only seen a few photos of him when he was a newborn. Some strange emotion tugged at her heart, so she turned away from him. "Hey Alex! This is your Aunt Lita. She beats people up for a living," Lucas said in that excited baby tone most new parents used.

"He's getting very big," she said and then quickly changed the subject, "How is Caroline?" Lucas turned on the car and got them on the road before he answered. "She's actually at a conference in Phoenix for the week. Which means Alex, I, and the twins are crashing at your place. We're supposed to keep watch over you and make sure you don't fall into something else and nearly kill yourself. Which I guess means no toilets for you," he joked, playfully jabbing his elbow at his sister. Lita laughed and hit him back, hard.

Every mile closer they came to her home made her happier. She hadn't been able to be home for any significant matter of time in nearly a year. When they finally pulled into the driveway, Lita gazed at her home like a long lost friend. This house was her pride and joy. Sitting on the edge of a lake, the property was perpetually shaded by a multitude of oak trees scattered on the property. She had been greatly involved with the design of the house, from picking out the right shade of red brick to the dark tiles on the roof. Although it looked narrow from the front, the two story house was situated perpendicular to the street, leaving a spacious yard for her and the dogs.

She walked up to the front door, where she heard a loud howl from inside. "Babies!" she squealed, opening the door, releasing two beautiful American Foxhound/Jack Russell Terrier mixes into the yard. Both dogs danced around her excitedly. They hadn't seen her in many months. Lita dropped her carryon and sat down on the ground so she could play with the dogs. The frenzy of face licking that followed distracted them long enough so Lucas could carry Alex inside. She stroked both dogs, scratching them behind the ears.

Rescued along with dozens of other dogs from an abusive breeder, Molly and Rebel had all the same markings and the same terrier tail. But while Molly had the long soft hound ears, Rebel had the small, folded ears of the terrier. Both dogs though, had the same long legs spotted with tan freckles, the same tan and black patches and the same smooth heads. While Rebel was slightly larger than his sister, Molly was the more energetic of the two. Both wriggled with happiness, jostling each other for Lita's attention, which he tried to divide evenly between them. Tears came to Lita's eyes; she hated being away from her dogs. Every time she left them with Lucas, she would feel horrible for days. She made sure to kiss the tops of their heads and give them each big hugs.

Lucas had enough time to bring in all of Lita's bags before she finally got up and led the dogs inside. She went into the living room, where Lucas was putting Alex into his playpen. Lita immediately went over to the huge black leather couch that was undoubtedly one of her favorite possessions. She lay back and stretched out, the couch molding around her perfectly, like a huge pillow. She almost felt like going to sleep, but the dogs jumped in after her, shoving each other to see who got to lie at her side. She made room for them both as Lucas came back with a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and some gauze. "We're supposed to do this every few hours," he said moving behind her so he could clean the wound. As he gently cleaned it, he asked, "So what do you think you're going to do for ten whole days?" Lita gave a deep sigh of satisfaction. "Training, defiantly. Other than that, whatever the hell I want," she said, relishing that fact that she had free time. In his crib, Alex began to whine, so Lucas finished with Lita and went over to check on his son.

Lita got up and walked up the stairs and entered her bedroom, the dogs following behind her. She continued past her bed, on into the master bathroom. This room was her pride and joy of the entire house. The walls were decorated in an elaborate mosaic of deep blue tiles that swirled like the sea. Large, bay type windows opened onto the back of her property, giving her a beautiful view of the lake. Because there was no room on her lot for a pool, she made up for that with her bathtub. Sunk into the floor, it resembled a small pool in its own right. Three or four people could fit in nicely. Whenever she needed some relaxation, she took a bath. Which is exactly what she was going to do right now. As soon as the dogs heard the water running, they disappeared. For a moment she wondered when they'd had their last bath.

As the bathtub began to fill, Lita added a generous amount of bath oil to the mix. She undressed, glad to be out of her dirty travel clothes. In the full panel mirror attached to the wall, she examined her naked body. She could clearly see where she had lost some muscle definition and tone after the long stay in the hospital bed. Nothing that was very bad, but she needed to make sure that she really worked on gaining back what she had lost. When she came back to the company, she wanted to make sure she looked just as good, if not better than she had before.

When the bathtub was finally full, Lita sank into the hot water and lay back on her bath pillow. Mentally she made plans of everything she needed to do while she was here. Because of Edge's popularity, especially after his first title win, both of them were in high demand. Which meant that there was very little time for trips home. She was in the middle of thinking about taking the twins to their favorite dog park when the memory of warm hands in the water broke her train of thought.

She put that thought out of her mind, determined not to think about him right now. It was pointless for her to torture herself over him when he was across the country. By the time she got out of the tub, she could hear Molly whining outside the door. Lita pulled on her favorite bath robe and went downstairs to find something for dinner. She wasn't expecting much to be in the fridge, unless Lucas had found time to do some shopping. _Fat chance of that_, she laughed. On her way to the kitchen, she stopped in the living room where Lucas was already deeply asleep on the couch; snoring like a jackhammer. Poor Alex was sitting up in his crib, unable to sleep with his dad snoring. She went over to him, really looking at him for the first time.

The baby looked very much like her brother. Both had the same dark hair and the same chin. Alex's blue eyes had defiantly come from Caroline. He looked up at her, and stretched out his arms to her, wanting to be held. Lita hesitated. After a moment, she reached down and took the child into her arms. "I know, Daddy sounds like a chainsaw, doesn't he?" she joked. The baby regarded her oddly. To him she was still a stranger. "Are you hungry too?" she asked him, bouncing him slightly in her arms. He smiled, which Lita took to be a yes. She carried him to the kitchen, shifting him so he sat on her hip as she opened the refrigerator. To her complete surprise, the fridge, and even the freezer too was crammed with pre-packaged, labeled meals. "Well isn't that nice of mommy?" she asked Alex, grateful that Caroline was so thoughtful. She scanned the selection, finally settling on a vegetarian stir-fry. As she heated the meal in the microwave, she tenderly played with her nephew. He giggled especially loud when she tickled his little feet.

When the food was ready, she placed Alex into his high chair and sat down next to him to eat. The baby watched her as she ate, which gave her an idea. She located a bit of tofu in the mix and gave it to him. The baby slurped it up. "Oh my god," came the startled reply from across the kitchen. Lucas was standing in the door, a look of complete horror on his face. "Please don't tell me you're already converting my son to your crazy, meatless ways. . ." Lita laughed. "It looks like he likes it. Thank God you take after your aunt," she said to Alex. "I'm going to take him to bed now, before you have him eating veggie burgers or something unnatural like that," Lucas said, playfully sticking his tongue out at his sister. Lita rolled her eyes as Lucas picked Alex up and took him to the guest bedroom where the crib was.

She quickly washed up her dish and went back upstairs to her room. She quickly surveyed the room, and its present messy state. Several months worth of mail was piled on her vanity, the bed was strewn with clothes that didn't get to come the last time, and a large pile of books was scattered over her dresser. She was very glad to see her newly repaired laptop sitting atop a pile of books. It was strange, in a way, being back in a life that she didn't lead anymore but for days at a time. Tomorrow she was going to put everything in order. Tonight she was too tired.

Molly and Rebel jumped into bed, laying in their favorite spots. As she climbed into the crisp, cool sheets, she sighed with pleasure. Molly laid along Lita's legs while Rebel liked the be at the head of the bed beside her. She kissed each of them goodnight as she listened outside her window where she could hear a chorus of crickets and frogs croaking from the lake. She allowed them to lull her into a sleep deeper than she has had in a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Instead of her alarm clock, the baby's crying woke her up. She tried to ignore it, pulling a pillow over her head, trying to stifle the noise. But the crying wouldn't stop, it seemed to be increasing in intensity. Lita groaned, pulling the pillow up just enough so she could see her alarm clock. It was just past six. "Damnit," she moaned, replacing the pillow. She wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep for another few hours, but Alex seemed hell-bent on making sure that didn't happen. Finally she gave a frustrated groan and shoved the covers away. The cold air hit her bare body like a shock, and the dogs shifted in their sleep, migrating back beneath the comforter. "Lazy mutts," she growled as she drug her protesting body from the bed. She paused a moment to stretch out the knot that developed in her neck overnight before dragging herself to the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face, which helped to wake her up slightly. For now she dressed quickly before heading down into the kitchen where Alex's crying was finally dying down.

The first thing she noticed, was the fact that by some miracle of God, Lucas had made a pot of coffee. She made a beeline for the steaming pot where she poured herself a large cup. The baby was in his high-chair, refusing the spoonful of applesauce his dad was offering. When Lita entered, Lucas looked at her sheepishly. 'Sorry about the crying. I was trying to keep from waking you. . ." She ignored him for a moment, concentrating on that delicious jolt of caffeine that always made her feel better. The cup was empty before she said, "Don't worry about it. Gives me more time to work out."

Beside her on the counter, two waffles popped out of the toaster. She saw her brother smile, but she headed him off, snatching them before he could reach her. "Oh, come on! Those are mine!" he whined. Lita laughed, grabbing a bottle of maple syrup and dousing the waffles in a thick layer of syrupy goodness. "AW! Why did you have to do that! You ruined perfectly good waffles!" he said, staring gloomily at the purloined breakfast. Lita tried to suppress her laughter at her brother as he glared at her as she took the first bite. "Oh come on!" she laughed, wiping a stray bit of syrup from her lips. "I'll make you some more, okay?" "Fine," he said dejectedly, going back to feeding his son. "I thought you were supposed to be the healthy one, Ms. Fitness Expert, not eating sugar and carbs and stuff," he shot over her shoulder. "Oh get over it," she said, taking her plate to the living room where she finished her meal in relative peace.

After dropping off her plate in the kitchen, she headed to the basement that she had designed to be her perfect workout space. The hardwood floors contrasted with the painted cinderblock walls, lined on one side by floor to ceiling mirrors. Various machines and cardio equipment was scattered about the room, with about half the space dedicated to a makeshift platform that moved and reacted similar to the wrestling room. There were no ropes, but enough space was provided for her to work close approximations of her ring moves. She began by a lengthy stretching routine, to make sure she didn't injure herself unnecessarily. After that she began using free weights to strengthen her body. She found that she wasn't able to reach her usual number of reps, but she was close. For hours she used the machines and weights to systematically work every muscle she needed in preparation for the ring. Although the company seemed determined for her to remain a valet, she wanted to make it undeniable that she needed to be in the ring. It's not that she wasn't glad to be with Edge, but she wanted to compete.

Suddenly the dumbbell she held in her hand cluttered to the floor as she cried, "Oh, shit!" Like a flash she flew up the stairs, tearing through the house up to her bedroom. She heard Lucas calling after her as she rushed by, but she had to get to her bedroom. She practically dove into the pile of luggage sitting in her room, sending contents of the suitcases flying. "Lita, what the hell-" Lucas started before he had to duck to avoid being hit by the shampoo, shoe, hat and book that went sailing in an arc over his head. As he moved out of range, he shouted, "What is going on?" She continued to tear through the luggage, until she found the small object she sought, crammed in with her clothes. She snapped open the cell phone and quickly turned it on. "Oh, jeeze," Lucas said when he saw what she was doing, before heading back downstairs.

The phone took an eternity to turn on, but once the network was connected, the little voicemail icon flashed. She quickly dialed the number when the automated operator announced, "You have 17 voicemails." Lita sat back against the bed, getting very anxious as she replayed the first message from five days ago. "Lita, I wanted to say I'm sorry for being such a dick. I just needed some time, you know. I never meant to hit you. Just bloodlust and shit. . . Why don't you meet me at the arena at noon and we'll head to the airport together. I miss you babe." 

She went through all of them, unsure of what each new recording would bring.

"Okay, fine. You're still pissed. I guess I can't blame you. I don't know why you blew off our appearance, but I guess you being pissed is probably reason enough. Please just call me, I need to talk to you."

"This is getting ridiculous! Where are you? Are you that pissed? I mean, come on Lita! You should have been glad that I beat him up. Shit, I know I shouldn't of hit you, but it just happened. Please just pick up the damn phone!"

"Alright, you've made your point, everybody's fucking asking where you are, and I don't know what to tell them. Christ, I don't even know if you're okay! I've called like every damn hotel in the stupid city! Where are you? This is really shitty of you! I'm going to be so pissed if you're dead. . ."

The voicemails ranged in tone from angry rants to mournful apologies. He sounded like he was crying through a few of them. By now a huge weight had formed in Lita's chest as she dialed Edge's number. The phone barely rang once before the connection was made. She opened her mouth to speak when she had to yank the phone away from her ear as Edge bellowed, "HOLY SHIT! Lita! Lita, are you there?" She carefully replaced the phone and lamely said, "Hey, Edge." "Where are you? Are you okay? Christ, what's been going on?" he asked at rapid fire speed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you worry. I was stuck at a hospital in Philly for three days. They just sent me home yesterday," she said, trying to piece her word together so as to not sound contrived.

"A hospital? Why were you in a hospital? What happened?" he asked, genuine concern in his voice. "I, uh, went on the Philly without you. I was swimming when I fell and hit my head pretty hard. The doctors kept me under for three days to try and get the brain swelling down," she explained while Edge moaned, "Oh Christ baby. . . Are you okay now?" "Yeah, I'm alright now. Just got a scar on my neck, but that's it," she said, unconsciously running her fingers over the raised mark on her neck. "That must have been so awful for you, being alone in the hospital for so long. . ." he mused. _Ha! If you only knew_. . . "Yeah, well I was unconscious for most of it. . ." "Where are you now? Atlanta?" he asked. "Yes, actually. Lucas and the twins are here to stay with me. I'm supposed to come back in nine days, to Seattle." The surprise in his voice was palpable: "Nine days? How did you pull that off?. . . Actually, that's great. I'm coming down."

Lita's eyes widened in shock. "What? You can't do that!" she exclaimed before she really thought. "Why not?" he asked excitedly, "The boss man owes me a favor. They won't miss me for a few days. Besides, babe, I _miss_ you." Lita knew that any further protests on her part would raise suspicion. "Okay," she said softly. "Great, babe. I'll head down there tomorrow. I can't wait to see you. I love you so much," he said genuinely. Lita's grip on the phone tightened as she whispered back, "Love you too."

The call ended, and Lita had absolutely no idea what she was going to do. There was so much stuff bouncing around in her head right now, she didn't know what to do. What would happen when she came back to the company? Would Kane try to reconnect with her? Would he even try to contact her again? What if he tried to start another feud over her? Would she ever tell Edge what happened in Philly between herself and Kane? Frightened by her earlier flight, Molly and Rebel climbed over the pile of stuff she'd strewn over the floor and moved to sit by her. She stroked them both, allowing their presence to soothe her. For now she wouldn't worry about what would happen in nine days. She surveyed the huge mess she'd made and decided that she'd clean everything up before going back to her work out. In the doorway, Lucas appeared, his son in his arms. "Are we over our crazy Tasmanian Devil impression now?" he asked sarcastically. Lita rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I'm taking Alex to the park for a while. Wanna come?"

"I'll pass," she said. Lucas shrugged. "Suit yourself." As Lucas left, the dogs hot on his trail, Lita followed them as far as the kitchen. It was nearly noon, and she was hungry again. While the dogs bayed as Lucas left, Lita distracted them by opening the refrigerator. In a hail of claws on hardwood, the dogs arrived, looking at her eagerly. She shook her head and laughed at them; "You two are so easy." The dogs watched her carefully as she made a couple of soy burgers, watching for the small bits that inevitably came flying their way. Lita led them to the table, where she managed to ignore the huge _please we're starving poor little puppies, you know you want to feed us_ looks she got long enough to eat. When she was done, she led the dogs upstairs where they jumped on the bed as Lita surveyed the mess to be cleaned.

Deciding to start light, she tacked the mail first. She pulled out the various magazines she had gotten and set them on her nightstand for later browsing. All of the important bills had already been taken care of by Lucas, leaving only a few things of minor importance. There was a small bundle of fan mail that had been forwarded to her by the company. The past year had seen a steady decline in the amount of fan mail she received. These letters were mostly from younger fans, filled with lines like "Lita Rulz" and "Lita 4EVER". She heard from one of the secretaries at the company in charge of the fan mail, that a substantially larger amount of mail was received for Lita. However most of it was pulled because it was hate mail from fans who didn't like her new persona or her new man. That kind of stuff was usually shredded before she had to see it. The letters she did receive were added into a large box she kept in her closet, full of years of letters and tokens from the fans.

The next mess she tackled was the mess she made while looking for her phone. She gathered up all her clothes and dumped them on the bed. Shoes followed the same path, and toiletries were tossed into the bathroom. The suitcases were put in the hall, just to give her some room to work. Everything else was put on her desk to be sorted through later. The next thing she did was to take stock of the piles of books stacked on her floor, desk and dresser. She moved them all to the floor, where she took stock of what was there. The vast majority of the books were collections of poetry from around the world. Many were well worn, marked up with sticky-notes peeking out between the pages highlighting her favorite passages. She began to arrange them on the bookshelves she had nailed to the wall. Each title represented a wide variety of styles: a large portion of 20th century poets, the Romantics and Victorians, Arabic and Asian poets were prominently featured in several volumes, with the poetry of the ancients stuck in here and there. People who knew her would probably be surprised at her choice of reading materials.

But what she sought in these volumes had little to do with leisurely reading. She was looking for inspiration. For as long as she could remember she'd been writing poetry, and in recent years, complete songs. She's learned guitar to help pursue her creative urges, but never let on to anyone about her talent. One day, she knew wrestling would not always be possible for her, and she needed something else to do with her life.

She was nearly done with the books when she accidentally dropped her copy of Paradise Lost down behind the dresser and the wall. With a muttered curse Lita pulled the dresser out from the wall and reached down for the book. She felt her fingers brush the hard spine, but she had to crawl on top of the dresser to reach it. But the object she grasped and pulled out was not Milton's masterpiece. Instead she was holding a worn leather journal, crammed with other scraps of paper. Lita couldn't contain her scream of joy when she saw it.

For years, she had put every good idea, every cool chord combination, every lyric or poem that came into her head into this book. She hadn't seen it in nearly a year. When she thought she'd lost it at some random hotel room, she'd cried for hours. Loosing it had been like loosing a piece of herself. She turned it open in her hands, feeling the soft black leather, and the thick cream colored pages. Excitedly she opened it, sorting through the mass of loose papers that fell out. Some were random scraps of papers, even napkins, taken when she desperately needed to write something down. Others were multicolored flyers from concerts of bands that she had admired, while others were photocopies out of poetry books she didn't own. Several photographs were stuck between the pages as well. In the actual pages of the book, she'd written down poems and songs of her own making, complete with chords in the margins, each accompanied by a date. Flipping through them, she realized there were some she'd written when she was still in her teens. Each entry was there for a reason, some emotional tie to her life. As she flipped through the pages, she recognized the periods in her life that each entry came from. There were many joyful, rebellious passages; reflections of her time with Matt and Jeff as the Queen of Extreme. And there were many that were full of the love that she and Matt had shared. Others were dark, fearful, angry. Memories from her time with Kane.

She pulled out some of the pictures and looked at them, unable to remember everything that was in there. There were a few of her family, and of her and Lucas as they'd grown up. A few Polaroid's from her training in Mexico were accompanied by more recent pictures of friends. She wiped away the tears that fell at pictures of her dogs that had died. A photo of Lucas when he was 16 with a bright blue mohawk made her laugh. She made sure to put that one aside to tease him about later. Other pictures were of her, Matt and Jeff as they went around the world with the company. She ran he hands over the book's soft black leather cover like it was an old friend.

A small photo fluttered from the notebook and landed on the ground by her feet. She bent to pick it up, not knowing what it was. When she first saw the image, she was confused. It looked like a bunch of grey and black splotches. When she realized what the photo was of, her heart nearly stopped beating. Dated nearly a year in the past, it was labeled "Baby Boy – 11 weeks." The hand that clutched the sonogram of her baby began to shake violently as her breath began to heave from her body. She couldn't bear to look at the photo a moment longer. She leapt from the floor and crammed it into a dresser drawer. Her entire body was shaking as she let out a frustrated cry. Why hadn't she hidden that somewhere so she wouldn't find it by mistake? Why did she have to keep it so easily within reach? That was the last thing in the world she needed to see. Why did it have to come back now, to haunt her in her most devastating failure? She felt the tremor in her heart slowly spread to her hands, her legs, until her entire body was shaking.

From the bed, Molly and Rebel looked in, frightened by her cry. She clutched the wooden desk, trying to get her erratic breathing under control. Her mind was swimming with so many painful memories that Lita felt she was drowning in them. She tried to shut them out, but they were too vivid, too fierce. Tears burned at the back of her throat, but she fought hard not to let them out. _I will not cry! I am not weak!_ Lita went tearing down the stairs, through the house, flying out the back door out into her back yard. She ran until she reached the edge of the lake where she fell to her knees, sucking in deep breaths of air, trying desperately to get her body under control. A minute later the dogs followed, whining and worrying at her as she tried to control her body. Several long moments passed before Lita fell back into the cool grass, her body exhausted. She hadn't cried, but her body had worn itself out trying to keep everything inside. The dogs laid down beside her, and she took comfort in the warmth they provided.

About two hours later, Lucas drove back from the park. When he opened the car door, he was assaulted by the pungent smell of clove cigarettes. Inwardly he groaned. He paused only to get Alex out of his car seat and take him inside. Once the baby was down for a nap, Lucas walked to the back patio where his sister sat, surrounded by the dogs as she brought another clove cigarette to her lips. As he came closer, he could see the remnants of the six preceding cigarettes in the ashtray beside her. Before she could light the newest one, he opened the door and deftly snagged it from her. "Mom would kill you," he said, sitting down beside her. That earned him a small laugh. Lita pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" Lucas asked softly, putting the cigarette back in its package. Lita groaned and said, "You think I wouldn't go to fucking pieces about something that was barely a part of my life."

Lucas needed no further elaboration as her put his arms around her. Of all the people she knew, she had only let Lucas see how badly the loss of the baby had affected her. Even though the circumstances hadn't been exactly right, over time, Lita had become used to the idea of having a baby. After the miscarriage, she had only been able to express her pain to her brother. Not even Kane had seen her outpourings of unbearable grief. And that was the way she preferred it. She wasn't used to being weak. She hid her pain, knowing that it would make her stronger in the end.

He held her for a long while, neither of them speaking. Lita's mind swirled with memories surrounding that small sonogram she had clutched in her hand. Images from the past. . .

_The night Matt saved her from Dean and then brazenly kissed her. How he tried to run when he thought he upset her, and the way his lips felt when she kissed him back. . ._

_The way Kane had caught her mid-air and gently sat her back down on the turnbuckle after she'd tried to give him a Litacanrana during a match. ._ .

_The night she went to Kane to save Matt, and how she'd tried to hide the pleasure she felt in his bed. . . _

_How devastated she was when they told her that Kane was the father…_

_The wedding that was nothing like her dreams. . . _

_Waking up in the ambulance and knowing that she'd lost the baby. . . _

_The look on Kane's face when she'd betrayed him. . . _

They all swirled in her head, threatening to drown her. Beside her, Lucas pressed a kiss to her temple. "Hey. . . It's all in the past. You can't change it. All you can do is face the future," he said softly. Lita nodded, running her hands over Rebel's smooth head.

Eventually Lita sat up and asked for her cigarettes back. He scoffed at her and tossed her the pack. As he got up and headed inside, he commented, "Just don't come knocking on my door when you need that lung transplant," and then shut the door behind him. She stuck her tongue out at him and lit the cigarette anyway. But then she stopped, regarding the burning cigarette thoughtfully. With a muttered curse she jammed it into the ashtray. He'd ruined it for her. She allowed herself to sulk for a minute, comforting herself by stroking the smooth backs of Molly and Rebel.

Finally she got up and went inside. From the guest room, she could hear Alex crying. She quietly went over to check on him. To her surprise, Lucas was already there, making raspberries on his son's stomach. The baby shrieked with happiness. She knew that Lucas was very proud of his son as she watched them play. Lita began to laugh with them, but only to hide the pain in her heart. She hadn't realized how coming back here would bring back the awful memories of her pregnancy and the horrific was it had all been taken from her. She left her brother and nephew and went back to her bedroom.

As she lay on the cool comforter, she remembered the night Kane had first taken her to his home, to show her the room he was making up for the baby. It had been so unlike him, seeing the care he had lavished on making the room perfect. Soft baby blue blankets, beautifully worked furniture, walls painted with cheery colors of blue and yellow, decorated with little sailing boats. . . And when he had presented her with that small package, she had looked at Kane and saw things in his eyes she had never found there before: happiness, excitement, joy. Inside was a small blue sleeper with a picture of baby Snoopy on it. And then she had begun to feel his excitement too. That night she had slept in his bed as he obsessively caressed and kissed her still flat stomach, talking to his son and telling Lita about their future together. She never told him, but he made her excited about the future of their family. And after the baby was gone, she never, never admitted her pain to him, even though she felt like dying inside.

Lita moaned as she felt the painful twinges that signaled a migraine was in her immediate future. She rubbed her forehead with her fingers, trying to ease the tension that was building in her head. Just outside the door, she heard her brother knock softly. "Come in," she said, closing her eyes against the light that was starting to hurt her eyes. Lucas came in, Alex in one arm, the mail in the other. "I forgot to tell you I picked up the mail. Nothing urgent or anything, but _this_ came for you," he said, extending a white envelope towards her. She cracked an eye open and took the letter. Turning it over in her hands, she couldn't help the twinge of apprehension when she saw the red and black mark from WWE Headquarters stamped in the upper left corner. She quickly tore it open and pulled out the single sheet of paper. She read it quickly, pausing, and then reading it again to make sure she hadn't just hallucinated. "Well, what is it?" Lucas prodded.

Lita took a deep breath and sighed. "My future. . ." she whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

**First off, I want to thank everyone so much for taking the time to read and review my story. I also want to apologize for the slowness of this chapter, but certain things need to be gotten out of the way. Knowing that so many of you are enjoying this makes me want to get the new chapters up as quick as I can. **

Chapter 9

"So what does that mean again?" Lucas asked as Lita paced circles in front of the couch. She sighed, running a hand through her hair in a nervous motion. "To discuss creative potential and prospects? It basically means I'm going to have a meeting with them, and they're going to decide what happens for the next few years in my career," she said, casting another glance out the living room window. "So they'll let you start wresting again?" her brother asked, growing dizzy from watching her constant pacing. "Ha! They _could_ let me wrestle. Christ, if I'm lucky, they may actually let me _think_ about the title in the future. Or, they might tell me that I'm going to be some low-level jabber, or that I'm stuck being Edge's arm candy until I retire," she said bitterly. Right now, it seemed to her the chance was greatest she would be constantly tied to Edge for the foreseeable future. "So do you get to have a say in their decision, or have they already made up their minds?" he asked, getting up and heading for the kitchen. "It could mean anything," she said, picking up the creased letter from where it lay on the coffee table. She read the sterile words again that merely told her that her immediate future was to be written, but gave no indication of whether that was good or bad.

She folded the letter back up, tossing it away from here where it landed a few feet away on the floor. The arrival of the letter had been very unexpected. She'd lobbied for this kind of meeting months ago, but had essentially been stonewalled by the management at HQ, that involved a lot of other people aside from the McMahons. Not that she had any doubt Vince would be at that meeting. They were going to make her dance, make her prove that she was good enough, wanted it enough, and would do anything to get it. The frustration of having to prove herself, yet again, really ticked her off. _Of all the shit I've done for this company, broken my body, wounded my spirit, damaged relationships. . . And now I have to jump through yet another hoop for them to let me actually do anything. They're treating me like some two-bit jabber just out of the indies. Like I haven't re-invented the Women's Division and been one of the most dominating Divas in WWE history. . ._

The sound of a vehicle pulling into the driveway sent a jolt through Lita and sent the dogs running for the window in an explosion of baying. She jumped up and ran to the widow, elbowing Molly out of the way so she could see. The black hulk of Edge's SUV now sat in her driveway. She leapt off the couch and ran for the door as the dogs tore through the house in excitement. She threw it open to see Edge coming up the walk. As soon as she saw her he tore the sunglasses from his face and dropped the bags he carried as he ran towards her, scooping her up into his arms. She melted against him, genuinely happy to see him. He nestled his face against her neck, savoring the feel of her he'd been missing. "Oh God baby, it's so good to see you! I missed you so much!" he cried as he kissed his way from her bare shoulders to her lips. Lita clung to him, moaning softly as he kissed her. "I should have never hit you. That was the biggest mistake of my life," he said mournfully. The regret she saw in his eyes genuinely touched her.

The sound of claws on the window caused the both of them to look back at the dogs that were going crazy. "Loud little buggers, aren't they?" he laughed as the dogs bayed at him through the window. "Um, yeah. Let me get them away from the door. . ." Lita said, slipping through the door to shoo the dogs out of the living room and into the kitchen where she managed to shut them in. "Is it safe?" Edge yelled from outside. Lita jogged back to the door and pulled it open. "They're gone for now," she smiled as Edge picked up the bags he dropped and came inside. "Sweet Lita, you've got a nice setup here," he said, looking around the spacious living room. Since starting their relationship, she hadn't yet had the opportunity to bring Edge to her home. He dropped his stuff in a pile by the door and immediately dropped down in the center of her couch. He smiled up at her. "Really sweet babe. Hey, how about a beer? I've been driving for hours," he said, a broad grin plastered on his face. From the kitchen, the dogs were now clawing at the door, and she didn't yet feel like releasing a hail of canine fury on Edge quite so soon. "I don't think that is a good idea just yet," she said as she knelt down on the couch, one leg on either side of Edge.

"Ooh. I'll take that over a beer any time," he purred as his line of sight was interrupted by Lita's cleavage. His hands moved to rest on her hips, pulling her closer. She dipped her head and eagerly pressed her lips to his. The kiss quickly deepened as they clung to each other, Lita's hips gyrating against his unconsciously. Edge's hand had gravitated from her hips up to her back, where they began fumbling in an effort to undo her bra. Across the room, someone cleared their throat very loudly. Lita opened her eyes and saw Lucas standing in the doorway, his son in his arms. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything. . ." he said, rolling his eyes as his sister sat back away slightly from Edge. The Rated R Superstar leaned his head back so he could see Lucas, albeit upside down. Lucas walked around to the front of the couch as Lita slid from Edge's lap. "Edge, this is my younger brother Lucas, and his son Alex," she said, as Lucas gave Edge the once over. She detected the distinct look of dislike on her brother's face, but Edge didn't catch it. "Nice brat." Edge snickered at the baby who curled into his dad's chest. Lita saw the anger in her brother's eyes as he looked at her with one of those _who is this fucker_ looks on his face.

Lita could tell that if she didn't do anything soon, her brother's temper may cause him to start something, so she headed off the situation by jumping off the couch saying, "I think you should meet the dogs now. . ." Neither man had time to say anything before she ran across the room and opened the kitchen door, releasing the dogs. Molly immediately began running crazy circles around Lucas and Edge, baying happily. Lita headed back to the couch to try and calm down Molly, when she noticed Rebel wasn't joining his sister. The dog slinked around the couch, his ears flattened against his head, his lips quivering in what Lita recognized as the beginning of a growl; his eyes trained to the stranger on the couch. She reached down and thumped him on the head.

Molly, unlike her brother, had jumped on the couch and was stepping all over Edge trying to lick his face. He tried to push the dog away, but in her excitement she persisted, slobbering over his arms and hands that he used to shield his face. "Lita! Get it off me" he cried, still trying to shove the dog off the couch. She sighed as she went to rescue her man from the dog. Once she managed to get Molly off the couch, she sat down beside Edge, pulling his head to rest against her chest. "Well that was so much fun," Lucas mused, "but I need to get this little guy to bed." Lita wanted to smack Edge when he asked, completely seriously, "Hey bro, can you grab me a beer." Both siblings stared at him incredulously, before Lucas sneered, "Yeah bro, they're in the fridge," before leaving. Behind him crept Rebel, who never let his eyes leave Edge.

Edge shrugged his shoulders and chuckled. "What's up with those two." Lita groaned and pressed her hands over her eyes. "I have no fucking idea," she said finally. "Okay, well show me around this pad of yours," he said, pulling her hands away and using them to then hoist her off the couch. Grudgingly she led him to the kitchen. "Okay. . . this is the kitchen," she said lamely as Edge took the opportunity to get himself a beer. He popped the cap and let it roll across the floor while he chugged the contents. When he was done, he wrinkled his nose. "What the hell kind of beer is that?" She snatched the bottle from him and bent down to retrieve the cap. "It's actual beer that isn't brewed with rice. . . " she muttered as he took another from the fridge. That cap hit the ground too, and she picked it up. As she was bent over, she felt Edge's hand on her neck, pulling her hair away. "Is that the scar?" he asked, his fingers probing the red raised line. She straightened up and tossed the bottle and caps into the garbage before she nodded. He leaned against the counter, watching her curiously. "So tell me again what happened."

She really didn't want to have to tell the story, especially while leaving out huge chunks that involved her ex-husband. "_After_ I woke up and found you gone, I booked my own hotel in Philly. I flew up there and I decided to go swimming at the hotel. And. . . I slipped on the tile, hit my head on one of the handrails and fell in. Apparently I nearly drowned or whatever before someone that saw on the hotel camera and came to pull me out. They took me to the hospital, and kept me under for three days because there was brain swelling. When I woke up, the doctors told me everything that happened, and when the swelling died down they sent me home," she said slowly, trying to avoid having to tell the story again for clarification. "Okay, but how did you manage to get so much time off from the company?" he asked. She thought quickly, laying out the plan of her lie so she wouldn't betray herself if he asked again. "When I'd woken up, I called and talked to HQ. I explained what happened and where I was, and they called me a little while later with the good news."

Edge finished his second beer, nodding his head as he processed her story. After a moment he looked at her with confusion in his eyes. "When has HQ ever been that generous with their time off?" Lita felt her heartbeat quicken at his questions she couldn't answer. She didn't actually know how Kane had secured so much time off for her. She suddenly remembered the letter that still lay folded on the coffee table. "It might have something to do with this. . . " she called as she went back to the living room to retrieve the letter. He furrowed his brow slightly as he read it while Lita moved to lean on the counter next to him. "Interesting. . ." he said, his interest piqued. She avoided his gaze and she gave her take on the news. "So either their going to let me back into the Women's Division, or they're going to tell me I'm stu. . . I'm. . .I'm going to be your valet for the foreseeable future."

_Damn damn damn_, she screamed inwardly, the urge to slam her head onto the counter was overwhelming. He turned to look at her, genuine hurt in his eyes. "Stuck?" he intoned, "You really feel stuck with me?" She tried to play it off, running her hands over his arms and chest. "Hey," she said softly, "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that I'm stuck on the outside looking in." Clearly he wasn't convinced, and Lita knew she had to do some fast talking. She moved away from him slightly as she said, "It's painful! Knowing that you are the best, the most deserving and knowing that some fat-cat at HQ won't let you compete! Watching those other girls parading around, _not really trying_, earning that title. I can't remember the last time I had an actual match. It's killing me, not being able to do what I love!" she cried, her emotions showing with the tears in her eyes. Instantly Edge's hard façade melted, and he pulled her into his arms. "Hey, hey babe. . . I'm sure they'll do the right thing. And then you can start kicking ass again." She shivered slightly as his hands tangled in her hair as he kissed her gently. "And just think," he murmured, "You'll be Women's Champion, I'll be WWE Champion. . . Now won't that be a damn cool image. The Rated R Couple, both with title belts." _That will be a beautiful moment_. . . . she thought, nestling closer to him.

He kissed the top of her head quickly before letting her go. Lita wanted to hit him when he took another beer from the fridge and popped the top, again letting it roll across the kitchen floor. Lita cursed at him as she chased it down. "Damnit Edge!" she yelled as she found the cap beneath the table. She grabbed it and threw it at his head. "The garbage can is right there!" she fumed, retrieving the cap from where it bounced off his head. "Look, I know basketball isn't really a Canadian thing, but watch and see how easy!" she said, fed up with his messy ways. She tossed the cap into the garbage can from across the room and turned to rub Edge's face in it. "See how easy? And I'm a girl. . ." she said, frustrated by the amusement she saw in his eyes. "Okay, okay. Chill," he laughed, slightly amused by her anger. "Why don't you show me around the rest of this place."

Lita sighed, trying to release her anger at Edge. "Alright, follow me. . ."

_Small wonder we wound up here_. . . Lita thought, rolling over to allow the ceiling fan to better cool her naked body. Beside her, Edge was sprawled across the bed, taking up as much room as possible. He was still in that blissful state just between sleep and consciousness, his eyes trained blankly out the window. _He was never into that touchy-feely crap_. . . she thought as she silently slid from the bed and headed for the bathroom. She slowly closed the door behind her, careful not to make any noise to wake up Edge. Usually after such an energetic round of sex, Lita was content, sated, but the sense of ill ease, situated in the center of her chest consumed her thoughts. She moved to the tile counter, taking a moment to glance in the mirror. The shock showed on her face. There was something wrong with her eyes. She moved closer to the mirror to look closer. No, it wasn't her eyes. It was her entire face. Something was wrong. . . almost off center. That couldn't be her reflection in the mirror. That girl, whoever she may be, was weak, strained, burdened. She looked defeated.

_Ha! That's not who I am. I have every opportunity at my fingertips! I not only have the hottest guy on Raw, I might be allowed into competition again. I can be back to who I used to be. . . no. . . I'll be better than she ever was. _Lita pushed back the hair from her face and gazed into the mirror again. The image reflected back was a strong, confident woman. Everything was back to normal.

Outside the bathroom door she could hear Edge's breathing had turned to full fledged snores. "And it's only like 10:30," she laughed as she began to draw herself a bath. She quickly put on her robe and crept out past the bedroom and her comatose boyfriend. Downstairs her brother had taken the couch over, his son napping on his stomach as Lucas watched TV. By his feet sat Rebel, who looked agitated, his ears perked as he jumped at every small noise. She knelt by the dog, and patted his head. "Hey, Reb. What's wrong buddy? Are you sick?" she asked, looking into the dog's big brown eyes. Despite being a dog, his eyes told her what he was thinking. He didn't like this new guy she had drug home. "Try and chill, please?" she asked, scratching behind his ears. He rewarded her with a yawn to the face. She rolled her eyes and turned to her brother. "He's got the right idea, you realize," he said. "Which he?" Lita asked, clearly seeing where things were going. "Rebel," Lucas smirked, "I think if I growled at that long haired weasel you brought home you'd hit me."

"You've got to be kidding," Lita laughed, shocked at his audacity. "Remember some of the trash you brought home? Like Destinee, who liked to say she had 9 piercing, only seven of which she could show me? Or how about Cherie, the one with 16 ferrets?" Lucas rolled his eyes as his sister made fun of some of his more, _interesting_ girlfriends. "Hey! I married alright, didn't I?" he asked, his only defense was his beautiful wife Caroline. "Aw. . . that's right. I forgot my sister-in-law," Lita said, ruffling his hair. "I'm still convinced the reason why a psychologist married you is for part of some study. Or the drugs you have her on haven't worn out yet. Can't figure out which," she smirked. "Hey, no insulting me in front of my son!" he said, covering the baby's ears in mock horror. "No fair using the baby for a crutch," she shot back, sticking her tongue out at him as she headed back upstairs to her bathtub that was nearly full.

She tossed the robe aside and joyfully slid into the warm water. The water felt so good against her skin she let out an audible moan as she slid beneath the surface, coming to rest on the bottom of the tub. She looked up through the water, fascinated at the way the mosaic tiled walls looked through the distortion. _This is really peaceful, when you're not drowning. . ._ The appearance of two tan and white blobs by the edge of the tub caused Lita to come up for air. Her dogs looked down at her quizzically, as if asking, 'when is bed time?' Lita realized just how late it really was. "Alright babies, we'll go to bed. . ." she sighed, and was rewarded with two wagging tales. She climbed out of the bath and took a few moments to dry her hair before leading the dogs to the bed. Molly immediately jumped into her favorite spot at the foot of the bed, waking Edge up in the process. "Hey! What the hell is_ that_ doing in bed?" he cried, starring at Molly in surprise. "Relax babe. I'm just coming to bed," she said, pulling down the comforter for herself. Edge sat up, clearly not pleased with the sleeping arrangements. "I am not sleeping in a bed with animals," he said, looking up at Lita like she was suggesting he should sleep in a filthy barn.

"Just chill," she said as she slid into the bed beside him. "You won't even know they're there," she said, shifting onto her side to allow Rebel to jump in the middle between Edge and Lita. The Rated R Superstar found himself staring into a pair of suspicious brown eyes. The dog glowered at him for a long moment before lying down against Lita's back. "Lita," Edge moaned, "the dog is staring at me." Lita rolled her eyes, unbelieving how personal Edge was making this. "Rebel is a dog. You are a person. Be the higher evolved creature, please?" she said, silently begging that he would just shut the hell up. "Can't they just sleep outside or something?" he moaned in one last attempt to get his way. "How can I hold you with _him_ in the way?" By this point Lita was ready to kick everyone out of bed so she could have some peace. She reached over and gently caressed Edge's cheek. "Please babe. Just this once can you survive? Once we get back on the road, you won't have to worry about this again." She could feel the tension in his jaw, and then added, "You won't notice him staring at you if you close your eyes." Edge heaved a huge disgusted sigh, but made no other protests.

Satisfied there would be no more arguing tonight, Lita quietly whispered in Rebel's ear, "You know I didn't mean the whole higher evolved thing." The dog yawned and laid down his head, but did not take his gaze off of Edge, who turned his back and pulled the sheets over his head. Too mentally worn out to apologize to Edge, she rolled over to lie on her stomach. She buried her head in the pillow, honestly wondering if it was a good idea for Edge to even come here at all. All she really needed was time to be away from the company and all the shit that involved. Having Edge causing chaos with her brother and dog was too stressful. There was no way in hell she was going to recuperate with all the males in her life causing trouble. All that, combined with the uncertainty of the meeting at WWE HQ was enough to keep her restless.

Morning couldn't come soon enough for Lita. She hadn't slept a minute, her overactive mind simply too busy to allow itself a break. It was past three when she finally came to grips with the fact that sleep was not happening tonight. Edge, despite his displeasure with the sleeping arrangements, was snoring away happily. From the bed, both Molly and Rebel stared at her, now fully awake. "Come on babies, let's go," she said softly. Both dogs jumped from the bed to follow her, as Edge quickly rolled to the center of the bed and began snoring even louder. "Bastard," she muttered, gazing around her room in the moonlight that was surprisingly bright tonight.

To her surprise, Lucas was already down there, spread out on the couch. He looked up at her in surprise. "Can't sleep either?" he asked rhetorically. She only managed to roll her eyes, completely frustrated by the day's events. "I really wish you'd be nicer to Edge. You two actually have a lot in common. . ." she complained, knowing that she was asking the impossible. "Look," he said as he sat up, his face completely serious, "I know you better than anyone. But since you've gotten together with this guy, you've become like a different person. He's not good for you sis." She bit her lip in frustration as he spoke; she'd gotten this lecture from every member of her family. He could sense the frustration in her body, which deepened his rant. "I know you're unhappy. Remember your second wedding? And I'm not talking about Kane crashing it. I'm talking about the pain in your eyes when you said your vows. I could see it, mom could see it, the whole fucking world could see it. Are you telling me that was an act? You're good, but you're not that good."

"Look!" she finally snapped. "Don't lecture me about pain. I've know it all; pain worse than you've even known," she hissed, her eyes burning into her brother's identical ones. "I know I'm a different person now that I'm with Edge. That's because I am. I'm stronger, I'm fierce and I'm ready." As she spoke she snatched the letter from the coffee table and waved it in his face. "This! This proves how everyone knows how good I am. They're going to tell me that I'm ready for competition. And I'll do anything I can to get that title back. I don't care who I have to hurt." Lucas shook his head. "I know you will," he said, disturbed by the darkness she was showing him. "I just hope you won't loose yourself in the struggle." She tossed her head, pulling her hair off her shoulders. "Don't worry about me," she snipped, "I'm fine."

Lucas shrugged as he got up and headed back to the guest room. A moment later he heard her footsteps stomping up the stairs and then slammed the door shut. A small whine drew his attention. He poked his head up the stairs to see Molly and Rebel standing outside the bedroom door, confused. "Come here," he called gently to the exiled dogs. Molly came down immediately, darting into the guest room and onto the bed. Rebel stared back at the door and gave a low growl before slinking down the stairs. "Don't worry," Lucas said, patting Rebel's head. "She just needs some time away from _him_," he said softly, eagerly looking forward to Edge's departure.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Saying her goodbyes had been hard. Ten days seemed like a long time, but now it didn't seem long enough. Sure, the wound on her neck was nearly healed, but her heart was wounded as she kissed and hugged each of her dogs tightly while Lucas hauled her luggage out to the car. Rebel kept giving her that accusing look that said _You're leaving again, aren't you?_ She couldn't help the tears that welled in her eyes as she wondered how long she'd be away from them this time. She prayed it wouldn't take another career-stalling injury for her to make it home again. It was just after 4 in the morning when they left. Lucas brought Alex along for the ride as Lita gazed forlornly out the car window. From the backseat the baby shrieked "Eeeta! Eeeta!" Lucas laughed and said, "He means you, sis." Lucas glanced over at her and saw her depressed state.

"Hey," he reached over and rubbed her hand soothingly. "Don't worry, we'll get you home to see them soon. Listen, Alex has a word for you now." Again from the back seat issued a loud "Eeeta!" Lita laughed. "So I guess I'm Eeeta now?" "At least until he learns to say the letter L," Lucas smirked. When they arrived at the airport, Lucas helped her check her bags before they said their goodbyes. She kissed Alex and hugged her brother tightly, completely fed up with the achingly painful process of saying goodbye to loved ones. She'd been saying goodbye for most of her life. But that was the nature of her career, and she knew that there was no way around it. She moved relatively quickly through security and got onto the nearly empty plane. There probably weren't more than 20 people on the early flight. Lita took the opportunity to spread out over her unoccupied row, glad to have the space. She wasted no time in falling asleep.

It was just after 7 when she woke up from a fitful few hours of sleep. She never slept well on planes, if at all. She reached over and raised the shade slightly on her window, only to allow in a dazzlingly bright ray of sunlight. She immediately snapped it shut again, her eyes burning from the unexpected assault. She pulled the rough blankets from around her shoulders, and sat up in her seat. A quick glance around told her that most of her fellow passengers were still asleep. Through the overhead speakers, a flight attendant announced that they were 45 minutes outside of the Westchester Airport. As everyone on the plane slowly came back to consciousness, Lita combed her hair with her hands, undoing the knots that formed as she slept. Once that was mostly accomplished, she fished her carry-on bag from under her seat and pulled the paper out that detailed where she was to meet her taxi that would take her the rest of the way to Stamford and WWE HQ.

The last few days had gone by remarkably quick. Since Edge's departure, she had divided her time equally between working out in the gym, and spending time with Lucas and Alex. The latter of these had yielded dozens of new photographs that she had downloaded to her laptop. The time she spent in the gym had certainly paid off. You couldn't look at her and tell she'd been injured at all. The wound on the back of her neck had faded to a light pink line that was easily covered by her hair. She'd worked extremely had to ensure that any muscles that had atrophied had been repaired beyond what they had been previously. Her arms and shoulders were more defined, the muscles shapely, but still feminine. Outwardly, she looked strong and confident, but inside she was horrifically nervous at the meeting that was soon to transpire.

There had been no other information from HQ about the meeting, except for a conformation call yesterday. She'd even spent a few hours googling herself, looking to see if any internet rumors were being spread about her impending fate. But nobody was talking about it on any of the forums or fan sites. She folded the itinerary and replaced it in the bag and then pulled her worn leather notebook from one of the side pockets of the bag. Feeling the smooth leather under her hands never failed to bring a smile to her face. She flipped it open, casually reading through the pages of verse written in her own hand. Reading over the lines helped to center her, bringing her back to happier times. For a little while she was able to forget about the meeting and her nerves.

Before long the plane began to descend, wheels hitting the runway at 8:44 am. The frenzy that followed took quite some time before she was able to get off the plane and locate her luggage. Somehow she managed to drag it through the gaggle of people at baggage claim and into one of the restrooms. When the heavy swinging door closed behind her, the noise of the baggage claim was silenced. She breathed a sigh of relief as she gazed at herself in the large mirror that took up one wall. Her hoodie and running pants were both wrinkled from the flight, her hair was a mess and dark circles painted her eyes. She moaned in disgust at her appearance before turning to one of her large suitcases and fishing out the clothes she had set aside to wear to the meeting. The clothes she pulled out almost seemed like they were dated a year in the past. Instead of one of Edge's shirts, or something simple of her own, she had picked out a black tank top, emblazoned across the chest with her old logo design.

Primarily at Edge's instance, she had put away most of her outfits that typified her personality. Fishnets and shredded tops were replaced by bits of fabric that could be called shirts, as long as they kept things mostly covered. Bright neon colors were gradually replaced with red and black. She even wore her hair differently now that she was with Edge. He was always very insistent that they share a similar look. After one too many fights about bits of fishnet material, she gave up. It was easier to give him what he wanted than to be herself. The last trip home had seen most of her favorite pieces of clothing left behind at Edge's insistence. But early that morning, Lita had stood in her bedroom, empty suitcase lying by her feet. On her bed, she'd divided her clothes into two piles. One was composed of all her favorite fishnets and punk pieces. The second was full of the bland, black and red style of Edge. In her head, she knew that Edge would pitch a fit if he knew she left his stuff behind. But at that moment in time, she didn't really care. She packed her suitcase to the brim with all of her favorite punk outfits, leaving Edge's favorite items strewn across the bed.

With her logo shirt, she also pulled out a small wad of red thread that when unraveled formed a fishnet top that left her shoulders bare, but crossed down her arms and across her chest. The black cargo pants that followed had red accents along the pockets, pulling everything together. She quickly changed in one of the stalls, and emerged, checking in the mirror to make sure she had the fishnet on right. She tugged at the fabric here and there, making sure that her shoulders and cleavage was properly accented. As she gazed at herself in the mirror, the reflection looked as if time had stopped in 2004.

Even Lita was surprised at how, odd, the whole thing looked. This was who she had always been, but it seemed wrong now. Although a lot of things had changed, Lita couldn't see exactly how much you could tell just by looking at her. There was a heaviness now, a burden that she carried that she couldn't exactly identify or explain. The culmination of lies, pain and betrayal had painted her differently from the way she used to be. In front of the mirror she straightened her back and tossed her head, sending her hair flying in an arc behind her. She posed in front of the mirror, thrusting out a hip suggestively, her dark polished nails gleaming in the harsh light. _There. . . that's better_, she thought, changing her pose, her figure once again exuding confidence.

She spent the next few minutes making sure she did her makeup flawlessly, leaving no factor unaccounted for in anticipation of the creative team's scrutiny. She lined her eyes thickly in charcoal liner, painted her lips a deep red and applied just enough powder to make her skin look flawless. She quickly ran her brush through her hair, saving most of that work for when she was closer to HQ. Packing up everything she'd taken out, she wheeled everything out to the airport's main entrance, where her ride was supposed to be waiting. The area was crowded with people, several professional drivers in suits held up signs with their client's names written across them. She walked slowly through the mass of people, looking at each driver and sign until she spotted the right one. The kid probably wasn't a day over twenty-one as he stood haphazardly holding up a sign with the name Christine scrawled across it as he fidgeted in his ill-fitting suit.

She made her way over to him, and had to laugh at the driver's reaction when he saw her coming his way. The kid's eyes widened to huge saucers as his mouth fell open, almost allowing the gum he was chewing to fall out. When she stopped in front of him and said "I'm Christine," the gum did hit the ground. "Oh, wow!" he exclaimed. Lita couldn't help but raise her eyebrows as the kid's eyes looked her over. A moment later the kid remembered his duties. "Oh, uh, sorry! Let me take your bags!" he cried, rushing to pull the luggage from her hands. She watched him warily as he tried to grasp everything, dropping her carry-on twice. He laughed nervously, trying to play off his error. "I'm Devon by the way. Uh, thanks for choosing Taxi Connecticut. How long are you in town for?" He managed to open the taxi door for her as she climbed in she replied, "Just here for a meeting, thanks."

It took him a few minutes to cram her luggage in the trunk before he climbed in the driver's seat and headed them away from the airport, and on to Stamford. In a pre-emptive move, Lita hurriedly pulled out her Ipod and quickly put on something loud. The last thing she wanted was to make small talk all the way to Stamford. The kid immediately noticed what she was doing, and kept his eyes on the road. Lita lay back against the seat, trying not to let herself get overly worked up about the meeting.

_What's the worst that could happen? Sure, they could tell me that I'm not going to wrestle. I'll just have to work for a while helping Edge rise to the top. But they can't keep me down forever. They know I won't stay around waiting forever. That's exactly why they're going to tell me that I'm allowed back into competition. No matter how stupid the storyline, no matter how long I have to wrestle the low level cards. . . At least I'll be back. Maybe for once the crowd won't be calling me a slut anymore; perhaps they'll cheer my name again. _

She turned the volume higher on her Ipod, drowning out the restless nagging in her mind. All she needed right now was to remain calm, and present a cool and collected front to the creative people.

Outside the window, Lita watched the landscape roll by, the same drab view she'd seen dozens of times. Gradually she recognized more and more sites as they came closer to WWE HQ. It was nearing 9:30 when the driver finally pulled up to the main entrance of the unassuming building that housed the suit and tie guys that made all the decisions governing Lita's life, and the lives of everyone else on the roster. As she turned the Ipod off, the driver turned in his seat to face her. "Alright, Christine, this is your stop," he said with a smirk. She wanted to hit him. "I'll take your luggage to the airport and it will be waiting for you at your next destination. I'll be back at noon, the time you specified," he said, handing her a copy of the receipt. She snatched the yellow carbon copy paper from his hands and hurriedly exited the cab. He stared after her for a moment before pulling away. "What a creepy jerk," she muttered, turning to face the gleaming glass and brass doors emblazoned with the engraved WWE logo.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled one of the doors open, allowing a blast of cold air conditioning hit her in the face. She stepped inside, the door closing behind her with a resounding thud. The main lobby of WWE HQ looked remarkably normal, considering the unique nature of the business it conducted. The main lobby was dominated by a huge mahogany desk, staffed only by one middle age woman who was busy flipping through a magazine. Across from the desk sat a row of uncomfortable chairs, and several fake potted plants were places strategically around the room. The walls were dominated by huge blown up photographs showcasing the greatest moments in WWE history. Most of the photos were new, with the greats like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker and even. . .Trish. Lita glowered at the life sized photo, remembering the moment it showcased well. Trish was clutching the Women's Championship belt against her chest, crying from joy. Behind her, lying prone on the mat, was the diva she'd just beaten for the title. _That was one of the worst damn days of my life_, Lita bemoaned as she recognized herself lying unconscious, defeated, on the mat. From across the room a voice echoed, "Oh, good morning Lita! How good to see you!"

Lita smiled as she went up to the desk as the woman put away her magazine. "Hi Cheryl. How are you?" Lita said nicely as she recognized the long time receptionist at HQ. "Oh, great! What brings you here today?" Cheryl replied happily as she handed Lita the guest log in sheet. As Lita quickly filled it out, she said, "I've got a meeting with Creative at 10." Cheryl began clacking away at her keyboard and after a moment said, "Ah, yes. You'll be in Conference Room 3B. Take the elevator up to. . ." "The third floor, take a left, another left and a right." Lita finished for her. Cheryl laughed and said, "You've done this before." Lita shrugged innocently before bidding Cheryl goodbye and walking to the row of three elevators across the lobby. She only had to wait a moment before one of the elevators chimed and she climbed in. As she turned to press the button for her floor, she saw yet another of the large blown up photos. This one showed Victoria about to drop her competitor in a crippling Widow's Peak. That hapless diva was: "Holy fuck. . ." Lita hissed, "What is this place, the Lita Hall of Shame?" She averted her gaze and quickly darted out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened.

The hallway before her was very plain, a door every five feet or so, each identified with a small brass placard in the center. Before taking the first left, Lita ducked into one of the bathrooms to brush her hair and make sure her makeup still looked good. In front of the mirror, she straightened her top and eased her pants a little lower on her hips, allowing just the top of a bright red thong to peak through. She took a few moments to brush through her hair, making sure it was glossy and smooth, all hint of it's natural waviness gone. Finally she added a coat of shiny gloss over her lips before relaxing her face ever so slightly. Then she hardened her expression, her lips slightly pouted and her eyes narrowed, but alert. "Here goes nothing," she sighed as she exited the bathroom and continued to walk down the sterile halls until she found the double door entrance of Conference Room 3B. The doors were closed, and she could hear faint voices inside.

Slightly annoyed at the delay in starting her meeting, she sat down on one of the grey upholstered benches sitting directly across from the double doors. She pulled her cell phone out of her bag and checked the time. 10:05. "Alright guys, lets go. . ." she whined softly, annoyed at the delay. She pressed her back against the wall and drew one of her legs up so she could rest her chin on her knee. As she glanced around the hallway, she remembered all the times she'd sat in front of these doors, waiting for other life-altering decisions. It didn't seem like that long ago when Essa had brought her here for the first time, to find out if she would be accepted into the WWF. She'd been terribly nervous, but Essa had held her hand tightly the entire time, occasionally whispering encouragements to her in Spanish. Not long after that, she had been called in with Matt and Jeff only to learn they were being combined into a new stable "Team Extreme" and would receive a huge push with the fans. Slightly comforted with those memories, she thought, _Both of those meetings had gone really well, and things had really changed afterward. Whose to say the same thing won't happen again?_

After a moment she heard movement inside, and the doors swung open. She looked up, and her jaw nearly fell when she saw Kane's mismatched eyes staring down at her. _Oh god. . . What the hell am I going to say? _Part of her had hoped that she'd never have to explain her actions in the hospital or airport ever again; hoping against hope that Kane would magically forget what happened. But the expression in his eyes told her exactly the opposite. The doors settled closed behind him, and she saw his shoulders heave with a sigh. "So you're the next victim," he said stoically, his eyes sweeping over her body. Lita dropped her knee and stood. "Why. . . uh. . . why are you here?" _Great, freaking brilliant Shakespeare!_, she screamed at herself mentally. A slightly confused look crossed his features before he averted his gaze and said, "Just business, you know, the usual. . ."

For a long moment they both stood, fidgeting nervously. Eventually Kane broke the silence. "So, why are you here?" She avoided looking in his eyes as she replied, "Oh, you know. I got the 'we need to talk' letter." While both wrestlers fidgeted and tried to ignore the flaming awkwardness between them, the doors opened behind Kane and a young man stuck his head out. "Ah, Lita, you're here," he said, causing both Kane and Lita to jump in surprise. Lita hurriedly scooped up her bag and moved towards the doors. The young man from inside the room held one of the doors open for her and she ducked inside. The instant before the doors settled closed, she heard Kane call softly, "Good luck."

Conference Room 3 B was typical of most conference rooms: a huge oak table dominated the room, surrounded by ten plush leather chairs. The walls were covered in rich wood panels that were accented every so often by a small framed piece of art, mostly landscapes. Huge fake potted plants stood in all the corners, making the room seem darker and more confined. Around the table, nine sets of eyes watched her curiously. Lita recognized most of the faces as the nameless personnel behind the WWE. They looked rather unassuming; bland haircuts and business suits belied the nature of the company they worked for. And at the head of the table, grinning like the tiger he was, sat Vincent K. McMahon. "Please, Lita, have a seat!" he called, leaning back in his chair nonchalantly.

Lita paused for the briefest of moments while she composed herself. _Pull it together. You've got to prove to them that you're ready to compete_, she told herself. With a toss of her hair, Lita stepped forward and dropped into the chair opposite Mr. McMahon. She ignored the fluttering in the bottom of her stomach when she realized the chair was still warm from Kane's body. Lita was careful to keep her face composed with a casual look of indifference as the Chairman began to speak.

"Good to see you're back from your little vacation," he said jovially, "Although I must say you look very, _very_ good." Around the table, heads bobbled in agreement. "I must say that Raw has been in chaos since your rather unexpected disappearance," he continued. Although there were pauses for her to comment, Lita was very well aware that this was his time to talk, and she was to sit there and be silent until he allowed her to speak. "Edge hasn't been performing to well, and Trish has become rather, confident now that you're missing. I think it is prudent we get you back to Raw as soon as we can." Again, heads bobbled across the room. "Now what on earth shall we do with our little extreme diva?" he mused again, opening the floor to comment from his minions. The blonde woman sitting at Mr. McMahon's elbow spoke up. "Well, several scenarios have been drafted up covering the next 16 month period. At that point, Lita, your contract will be up for renegotiation. So. . ." the woman said, ruffling through the small portfolio of papers she carried.

After a moment she located a specific paper and began to read. "Option 1: We can have you remain on in-active status working with Edge as his valet. While we have drafted up some general storylines for this scenario, but you will not be allowed into ring competition." Lita visibly bristled at this suggestion; something that was the culmination of her worst fears. The woman continued to read, "Option 2: We will have you reenter the competition circuit, but this will be on a strictly trial basis. Your primary duties will still be in supporting Edge. The main areas of your competition will be at house shows, and pre-taping matches. This will primarily be as a precautionary measure, in light of your recent string of injuries. The length of this status will be indeterminate." Lita chewed her lip nervously. That option was no better than the first. At this point she way praying that Option 3 was better than 1 or 2.

By now, Mr. McMahon's grin had turned into a full fledged smile as he watched Lita squirm. The woman continued. "Option number 3 was actually suggested by Mr. McMahon, and may I say, it is very _interesting_." Lita wanted to slug her, wishing she'd just finish. "Option 3: A series of 10 matches, beginning next week on Raw, that will lead to a shot at the Women's Championship." Lita's head snapped up, and she had to fight to keep her mouth from dropping open. She looked to Vince, to see if he was joking, and she caught the faintest glimpse of some strange emotion in his eyes. Something that unnerved her greatly. Now smiling, the woman beside him continued: "This series of ten matches will take place over three months. During this tournament, you will participate in Bra and Panty matches, Street Fights, Handicapped matches, No D-Q matches and a . . . Halloween Costume Contest. If you successfully compete in each of these contests, you will receive your title shot. However, failure to win each match will land you back as being Edge's valet, exclusively."

Now that all the options were on the table, Lita could hardly believe what was being offered to her. The chance to compete, and in more than just meaningless matches. She was being handed the Women's Title on a silver platter, if only she had the courage to reach out and take it. _But there has to be something more! Some stipulation, some asterisk that would turn everything to shit_, she screamed inside her mind. Why _would they be offering me this golden opportunity?_ When she felt her chest start to heave with her tortured breaths, she tried to regain her composure. All eyes in the room turned to her, and she realized she was being given the chance to speak. She took a moment to uncross her legs and shift to the other side of the chair. "I was born to compete. I was born to win. I've stayed with Edge long enough. It's time that I remind the Divas why they should all be afraid of me," she said, leveling her eyes directly into each person's in the room, one by one. As she spoke, she saw a small grin form on the chairman's lips, mirrored by those around the room.

"Well, I think we'll need some discussion on this matter," Vince said, clearly toying with her at this point. "Marc, what do you think?" he asked a tall African American man sitting two people down from Lita. "I think is fairly obvious that Lita is ready for competition again. I think it is shameful to keep her out of competition when she is obviously one of our most powerful Divas." Vince nodded as Marc spoke, listening carefully. Lita tried to keep herself from smiling. Across the table, the blonde woman spoke again, "I must respectfully disagree." Lita suddenly had a vision of herself stomping across the tabletop to backhand that bitch. She continued, "We've hit something good with the 'Rated R Couple'. Merchandise is selling extremely well, and response, while not necessarily positive, is still interesting. People love to hate you. But they hate you because they want to be you. With Edge doing so well in competition, you will have a better position in the company being tied with him, rather than on your own." Lita almost gagged at the suggestion, _stay with Edge and ride his coattails to fame. . ._

By this point, Vince was smiling like a shark He turned to a young Latina woman sitting to his left. Lita recognized her as one of the higher ups that was supposedly in charge of locker room relations. "And Rachel, what is your take on this, from perspective in the locker room?" She paused thoughtfully before saying, "Lita's return would defiantly spark some interest on the Diva's side. Trish has held the title for 3 months now. She's had no competition for the belt thus far. Although the new Diva, Mickie James, is causing some interesting situations. I must say, some of the girls have gotten, a bit, _relaxed_, not having a hell raiser like Lita in competition. I think that allowing her back into active status, as well as a title run, will be very good for all of the Divas. Competition sparks more effort." Across the table, another man spoke up, "Yes, but there is a difference between allowing her to compete, and giving her a title shot. . ."

Back and forth they argued. While most seemed to be all for her competing, the idea of a title shot was the hot topic. She couldn't keep up with who wanted what, they all kept saying different things that sounded like they were changing their views. _Fucking bureaucrats_, she mused internally. Eventually she stopped listening, frustrated with all the flip-flopping. _So the choice is pretty easy at this point. If they don't let me compete, I'll let my contract expire. I'll have no reason to stay. Not even Edge can keep me from finding someone who let me do what I love. But if. . . if they give me the damn shot, I'll have to do everything I can to keep Edge from fucking it up. _

After a few minutes of furious arguing, Vince broke the commotion. He cleared his throat loudly and said, "I think it's pretty obvious what should happen. And I must say, it is an exciting prospect." Everyone fell silent, and turned to him, including Lita, whose heart began to pound furiously in her chest. "You are officially being allowed back into active status. Next week on Raw, you will begin this tournament. A series of ten matches that you must complete successfully. If you do this, you will be given a title shot," he said, not really smiling, but she saw something unnerving in his face. She couldn't identify it, but it gave her the general feeling that there was some loophole that could screw her over. But. . . she was in! Tingles shivered down her spine, spreading through her arms and legs and settled in her brain. This time, she smiled genuinely.

All she could manage to say was, "It's about fucking time." The entire board room burst into laughter. Lita leaned back in the chair, the dread that had taken up residence in her chest over the past week was slowly letting go. Mr. McMahon called for some kind of paperwork over the intercom system, while the blonde woman next to him passed Lita a sheet of paper. Lita ignored the forced look of happiness on the women's face. She realized the paper was the outline for her ten match series that could lead to the Women's title. She read each line carefully.

1. Lita vs. Torrie Bra and Panties Match

2. Lita vs. Maria

3. Lita vs. Torrie and Maria Handicapped Match

4. Lita vs. Mickie James. No DQ

5. Halloween Costume Contest vs. The Divas

6. Lita vs. Melina

7. Lita vs. Mickie James with Special Referee Trish Stratus

8. Lita vs. Melina Bra and Panties

9. Lita vs. Victoria in a Street Fight

10. Diva Battle Royale

Title Shot: Lita vs. Trish Stratus for the Women's Championship. No DQ

The sheer absurdity of some of these matches made her want to laugh at the pure stupidity of it. A costume contest in place of a match? How low were they going to make her crawl? Some of the matches would be easy enough, just as long as she didn't get careless. She wasn't worried about Maria, the little diva's talents did not include ring work. That would be a squash. She found it interesting that her first match was going to be against Torrie in a Bra and Panties Match. Torrie had a long standing winning streak in those kind of matches, which could be problematic. Lita had always tried to get out of that kind of match. She'd much rather be in a Tables Ladder and Chairs match than parade around in her underwear.

She didn't really pay attention as Mr. McMahon talked with the staff about the new promotional campaign they'd be launching to re-introduce Lita to the wrestling fans. The usual trappings included a few photo shoots and a cover and feature in WWE Magazine. She'd done all this before in her career, but right now she viewed it all as a nuisance, something to distract her from her goals. But she also knew that she was required to display her assets to the company and the fans in order to stay popular.

After a few minutes of planning her promos the meeting ended and the creative team filed out of the room quickly, following behind in Mr. McMahon's large stride. The little blonde woman was the last one out failed to hold the door open for Lita who nearly smacked her head into the swinging door. "Bitch," she muttered, catching the door against her arm to make sure it didn't slam into her nose. Lita was wondering what the hell she'd done to deserve that woman's bitchiness as she headed into the hallway. Her step faltered only slightly when she saw Kane's hulking form sitting on the same bench she'd occupied. She was slightly shocked that he had stayed to wait for her. Part of her was glad to see him, but the other half wasn't so sure. He looked up at her, his eyes soft and curious. He looked her up and down, searching for some hint of the meeting's outcome.

This was a confrontation she'd been hoping that she'd never have to face. There had to be some explanation for what had happened between them at the airport and hospital, but she didn't want to admit what it was. Weakness. Or temporary insanity. She couldn't decide which. The way he was looking at her wasn't helping. She saw that tiny flare, that spark of hope that betrayed his cool exterior. And it sickened her. Christ, she sickened herself. After everything she'd done to hurt and embarrass him she hated herself for making him want her again.

There was no option of going back. As much as it hurt inside, she had to make it clear that he had to stay away from her. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him reach for her; and she knew this was the moment to make her point. She quickly spun around, turning her back to him. Her heart beat furiously, waiting for his reaction. For a long moment Kane stared at his outstretched hand that had been seeking to caress smooth skin, but now was pointed at her back. He knew what she was doing. Although he hadn't wanted to face it, he'd allowed blind hope to take over. But now she was just affirming his fears.

He allowed his hand to drop back to his side as he came to terms with what was happening. He had to smile at seeing her looking like her old self. It was almost as if he could pretend the last year hadn't occurred and that she was still his. After a long moment she turned around to face him, but she kept her eyes cast off to the side, just so she didn't have to look at him. "So is it good news or bad news?" he asked stoically, trying to break the awkwardness between them. She reached into her pocket and withdrew a folded piece of paper which she handed to him. He noticed that she held it in such a way so he would not have to touch her. As he read over the lines, she could see a small, genuine smile on his face. "You're very lucky," he said, handing her back the paper, "They must really like you to give you such an opportunity."

"So long as I don't fuck it up," she said, still trying to avoid his gaze. Kane watched her posture, the way she kept sweeping her eyes over everything but him, the tone in her voice that betrayed her agitation. He had secretly hoped that there would be some difference since what happened in Philadelphia. Part of him really wondered if the drugs had addled her brain enough to want him again. Or maybe he was just fooling himself. Right now he knew that dealing with him was the last thing that she needed. Kane stood suddenly, and he could tell he startled her. Inwardly he laughed, _she is still afraid of what I can do to her._ When Lita recovered from seeing Kane suddenly vault to his feet, she stammered, "I, uh, I've got to meet my cab. You know. . ." In her head Lita raged at the situation. _Christ this fucking sucks! Here, let's make things even more awkward! Why don't I freaking tell him I love him or something?_

Kane gave her a small smile and said, "We wouldn't want you to miss your cab." "Well, uh, yeah," Lita said lamely as she quickly turned and headed down the hall. Right before she disappeared down the next corridor, Kane called, "It will be good to see you back in the ring." She paused and turned back to him. "Thanks," was all she could manage. She hurried down the hall and jabbed the elevator call button a few times in agitation. A moment later the doors opened and she darted inside. When the doors had closed, Lita leaned against the wall, wondering why she felt like shit despite being told that her title dreams were coming true. The elevator beeped and the doors opened into the bright lobby. Instead of exiting, Lita had the sudden urge to go back upstairs and confront Kane, talk to him about what had happened between them. She was reaching for the third floor button when she saw a flash of a yellow cab outside in the parking lot. She heaved a frustrated sigh and headed out the door, but not before calling goodbye to Cheryl.

As the cab took her back to the airport, Lita couldn't shake that feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her she had done wrong. The problem was she had no earthly idea how to shake it.


	11. Chapter 11

Edge swung his SUV into one of the few remaining spots just outside the entrance that the wrestlers used

Chapter 11

Edge swung his SUV into one of the few remaining spots just outside the entrance that the wrestlers used. They were 20 minutes late for check in, but that was deliberate. This was the first time back to the company in nearly three weeks. Everyone was speculating about the circumstances of her disappearance. Some said she'd been fired, others said Edge had dumped her, while others said she was recovering from a crippling injury. The mystery and the rumors were key to Edge and Lita's plan. 

Lita stared out the window, taking in the huge concrete grey arena that would hold 10,000 for the show tonight. It was still too early for most of the fans, leaving the huge parking lot mostly empty. "Are you ready?" Edge asked as they both stared ahead. Lita took a deep breath and held it for just a moment. She knew what was riding on this. She had the element of surprise right now. And she needed to make sure she took full advantage. Lita let the breath go and replied, "As I'll ever be." He leaned over the seat and kissed her forehead. Edge softly butted her head and said, 'Just prove that you're the kick-ass Diva I know you are." She closed her eyes and silently thanked him for his support. Even though things hadn't gone well between them the last time they were together, she needed someone to anchor to while she got her bearings back in competition. 

Together they took their gear bags; Lita's actually containing wrestling gear, and headed into the cavernous arena. The backstage area was just like every other arena in the world, hallways of bare cinderblock with exposed pipes carrying water while golf carts whizzed by. Lita paused just before entering the main corridor. She took a moment to compose her entire body, making sure she stood tall, her chest thrust out and her head tossed slightly back while her face had that arrogant and confident expression. She looked like a winner right now, and that was exactly what she needed to portray. Edge saw the change come over her, and it turned him on. "That's my girl," he purred, slinging his arm over her shoulder as they finally stepped into the main corridor of the arena. Lita allowed herself to swagger as they made their way to the locker room area, copying Edge's usual stride. 

The first actual members of the talent they saw were Val Venus and Victoria who were sitting together on a fold up table set against the wall. They were talking quietly until Val spotted them. Lita saw two different emotions pass over his face. First she saw genuine shock on his face when he noticed Lita. That expression was quickly replaced by one of hard anger when he noticed Edge. Victoria turned around to see what Val was staring at. Lita could see her mouth drop open in shock when she saw a perfectly healthy, and confident Lita. Lita caught Victoria's eyes and held them for a brief moment. The two Divas stared at each other for a long moment before the dark haired Diva jumped off the table and ran ahead of them down the corridor, darting into a hallway that forked off about a hundred yard away. 

Inwardly, Lita smiled at the effect she was causing so far. Victoria had ran to the women's locker room to tell everyone that Lita was there. That is exactly what she needed. She knew that Victoria and Val would spread the word of her return quickly. Together she and Edge continued down the corridor until they reached the immediate backstage area that was connected to the wrestler's entrance. Even now the setup crew was crawling over scaffolding and working on last minute lighting and pyrotechnic setup. There was a small group of wrestlers here, chatting while waiting for a few minutes of ring time before the show started. The conversations quickly died when Edge and Lita appeared. Everyone watched her curiously, looking for some sign or hint of why she'd disappeared. Edge laughed and said bemusedly to Lita, "You'd think they'd never seen you before." Lita made sure to glance at each of the wrestlers present, gazing into their eyes and silently telling them, _I'm here and you'd better watch your back_. 

The last person she saw caused her heart to skip a beat, almost shattering the cold and confident exterior she'd built up. Kane was leaning against the wall, watching the couple curiously as he toyed with an empty water bottle. She quickly turned her head back to Edge and wrapped her arm around his neck, forcing his head down to kiss her. He obliged eagerly, and the wrestlers present were treated to yet another Lita and Edge make out session. Behind her, she could hear the general groans of disgust, and the distinct crackling sound of someone crushing an empty water bottle. 

Shawn Michaels was the one to finally break the silence. "Well now Lita, there have been an awful lot of rumors flying about your little vacation. Some people say you're hurt." Nothing he said really resembled a question, and Lita knew that was deliberate. He was playing to her game. She squeezed Edge's arm and he let her go, so she could slink her way up to HBK. "Well. . . Shawn. . ." she drawled, slinking up close to him. She knew everyone was watching, so she laid it on. "I don't think someone that's injured is going to be given a special 10 series and a shot at the Women's Title." You could hear the eyebrows raise on everyone there. Shawn gave her a look that clearly said _Nice_, before saying, "I don't think so either. I'd just make hell sure no, _distractions_, took my head out of competition." Lita clearly got the hint. 

There had always been an unspoken respect between Shawn and Lita. She had always admired his ability to perform both in and out of the ring, while he held great respect for her drive to take risks in the ring. Although they hadn't really worked together, they always remained good friends. Shawn had even helped her out when she acted out against Kane after the wedding. Of all the superstars on the roster, she probably valued Shawn's opinion most. She knew this wasn't the same kind of anti-Edge lecture she got at home. This was genuine advice. If she didn't keep him in check, Edge could seriously fuck this up for her. 

She played off the tension by spinning around and casually flipping her hair. "I hardly think that is going to be a problem. I'm just the thing this company needs. Without any real competition, the Divas have gotten soft, they've gotten lazy," she smirked. "The Chairman knows were the real talent is," Edge added, grasping her arm and spinning her into his arms. "Don't think it will be too long before you see gold on both our waists," he said to everyone, yet nobody in particular, his hand possessively caressing her stomach.. Lita hooked a leg over his waist, and he got the hint. The same moment she jumped, Edge caught her and helped her wrap her legs around him while she tossed her head back, laughing. The held that pose for a brief moment before he let her go and the duo quickly strode down the corridor and out of sight. 

Their gleeful laughter echoed in the bare concrete structure until they reached the small dressing room with their names taped to it. Edge tossed down his stuff and said, "You're kicking ass babe." Lita smiled at him, her body alive with adrenaline and excitement. She dripped her bag onto the wooden bench and sat down to pull off her boots. While Lita started to change into her wrestling gear, Edge began his routine of pre-match wrestling. Lita pulled from her bag her knee brace, wrestling boots, and the turquoise blue set of underwear she brought especially for this occasion. Edge snatched the panties from where they lay on her bag and twirled them around his fingers. "What's with the boy shorts?" he asked. Lita saw what he was doing and tried to snatch them back. He held them up higher laughed, "But what's wrong with your thong?" Lita elbowed him in the gut, causing him to drop his arm long enough for her to reclaim her underwear. "Because this is a Bra and Panties match I have tonight. If I were to loose my pants, I don't want to have to wrestle in a thong," she said quickly as Edge moaned pathetically, clutching his stomach. 

Lita took the opportunity to change as quickly as she could, silently knowing that there was about to be a huge confrontation about what she would be wearing to the ring. As soon as she pulled out the fishnets, she saw a frown pass over Edge's face. "Uh, babe? What's with the retro look? Where is your Rated R stuff?" Lita forced down her rising temper before she turned to Edge and put on an innocent smile. She slowly moved closer to him, allowing her hands to feel over his arms and chest. "Well, you know babe, I was thinking that my first day back into competition meant I ought to wear something of my own." As much as she played to his male interests, Edge shook off her flirtations and stepped back. "Why does that mean you have to wear some of your old shit?" "What do you mean 'old shit?" she fumed, allowing her frustrations to show. "This is my stuff! This is who I am. I haven't changed since I got with you. Why can't I wear my own stuff, my own logo?" Edge saw the storm of female fury brewing and tried to avert it. 

"Hey," he said in a much softer tone. "I know how important this is for you. It's an incredible opportunity that you can't afford to screw up." As he spoke, he gradually pulled Lita into his arms. "Don't you think it will be really strong when we both come out, to my music, sporting the Rated R look? We'll look very intimidating, which is exactly what you need." As much as Edge was right, his idea was exactly the opposite of what she wanted. 

Ever since she'd switched her alliances to Edge, the fans had quit cheering her name instead opting for never-ending choruses of "Slut Slut Slut!" It was as if everything she'd ever done had become unimportant, if not irrelevant. Forget the titles, the unforgettable matches, all everyone judged her on was her love life. This ten match series could provide her with the opportunity to prove to everyone that she was worthy of their admiration and support. But earning that would be the biggest challenge. 

Edge kissed the top of her head and suggested, "You know, I think you left that black shirt, the one with the zippers in the car. Why don't I run and get it? You look smokin' in it babe." "But-" she barely had time to finish before Edge headed out the door, calling over her protests, "I'll be right back!" The door swung behind him with a heavy thud, leaving Lita in silence. "Stupid. . . damnit," she muttered, wishing she'd told him to go to hell. Taking advantage of Edge's absence, she changed into the turquoise panties without worrying about being groped. She took a moment to admire herself in the mirror before leaning over to pick her pants up from the floor. She had only paused a moment to brush out a few wrinkles before she sat back up, casting her eyes back at the mirror for the briefest of seconds. But the eyes reflected back at her were not her own. 

Her first instinct, silly as it was, to clutch her arms over her chest as she let out a high-pitched scream. "What the hell are you doing here?" she cried as Kane watched her, a bemused smile on his face. "This is my dressing room! Don't you knock?" she shrieked. He looked like he wanted to laugh, and she wanted to slap him. "What's so freaking funny?" she fumed, as Kane bent down to retrieve her pants from the floor and tossed them to her. She quickly used them cover herself as best she could as Kane moved towards her. "Was that act just for me, or was that for the benefit of the entire roster?" he asked, his gaze piercing into hers. 

The last thing she wanted was to talk to Kane, now, in her underwear, but he didn't look like he was going to move until he got some answers. Lita feigned indifference as he stared at her. "What? You mean making out with my boyfriend? I didn't realize that was your business.," she snapped. Moving like a man much smaller than his huge frame, Kane lunged at her, forcing her back up against the painted cinderblock wall. Lita closed her eyes, ready for his wrath. For a moment he watched as she started trembling, her breasts heaving with her panicked breaths. She visibly flinched when he gently laid his bare hand on her cheek. "I'm not going to hurt you. You can open your eyes," he said gently. 

Inwardly Lita knew that there were few things that set Kane off like Edge. No matter what had passed between them in Philadelphia, she knew that Kane was extremely volatile, and not even she would be spared his wrath if he was provoked. His gentle plea did little to comfort her fears, but she grudgingly opened her eyes. "Edge will be back in a minute," she said harshly. "I don't give a _fuck_ about Edge," he growled, "I need to talk to you." Lita choked back her protests, grudgingly giving Kane the opportunity to speak. He moved back slightly to avoid making her feel pinned against the wall. She watched him curiously as his expression changed from hard and angry to soft and concerned. As he gently ran his fingers though her soft hair, his heart sank when she flinched at his touch. Lita saw the hurt in his eyes and mentally cursed herself. She swallowed the tension in her throat as Kane's hand dejectedly fell from her hair down to his side. 

"Look," he said, the dejection in his voice palpable, "I wanted to make sure you're alright. . . I never really got to ask last time." Lita ducked her head, ashamed of her actions. After the trouble he'd gone to for her in Philly, she was back to treating him like he was dirt on her boot. She bit back the feeling of dread in her stomach as she tentatively placed her hand on Kane's arm. "I. . . I'm sorry for blowing you off," was all she could manage. For a moment he shifted his weight awkwardly in front of her, struggling to find the right words. Finally he said, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. . . " As he spoke, his body drifted closer to hers, pinning her against the wall in an entirely different way. 

Lita's body tore her into two different directions. The first part was panicked, fearful that any second Edge would walk in and find her in Kane's arms. The second part of her wanted to fall deeper into Kane's arms, her body tingling with the memory of his hands on her body. As he dipped his head to press a kiss to her neck. Lita's breath caught in her throat. Before she knew what she was doing, she blurted out, "Edge will be back any minute!" The warmth that had been radiating from his body turned cold as he stiffened and moved away from her. She saw the frustration in his face, and she knew that he was rapidly getting fed up with the entire situation. "Fine," he muttered as he turned his back to leave. 

Lita's heart jumped to a mile a minute, afraid that he'd finally had his fill and was ready to give up. She quickly reached out and grabbed his hand as he headed for the door. "Please," she said urgently, "Don't be mad at me." Kane turned to look at her, confusion in his eyes. "Lita, I don't-," he started, but she cut him off. "Kane, I'm sorry for playing coy. I'm just really confused about what this is. Don't be mad at me." She saw his expression soften, and she knew he wasn't. "Please, come find me after the show. Women's locker room. I need to talk to you," she said, allowing her small hands to caress his large one. "Okay," he said simply before turning away and heading out the door. 

As soon as the door snapped shut behind him, Lita frantically reached behind her back to undo her bra so she could replace it with her new one. She dropped down onto one of the hard benches to quickly pull on her knee brace as she heard voices in the hall. Her heart was pounding as she strapped the brace on and then hurriedly wrenched on her pants. She had just finished buttoning them up when the door swung open and Edge strode in, her shirt clutched in one hand. "Here you go babe," he said, tossing it to her. Lita caught it and pulled it on, trying desperately to not look like she'd been doing something naughty. Thankfully he settled into getting into his own gear, allowing Lita to concentrate on calming down. She settled down on one of the benches to do her makeup, as Edge got his kneepads on. She forced herself to concentrate on lining her eyes thickly in blue, trying to push Kane from her immediate thoughts. But it wasn't working very well. 

_So lets see sweetheart_, her conscience taunted her, _Let me remember, this is the same guy that beat up your boyfriend, forced you to have sex with him, terrorized you, made you marry him and made your life a living hell? And now you're all wet between the thighs for him? Ha! What's wrong with you? Have you gone stupid? Do we forget that easily?_ Lita grew angry at herself as bad memories washed over her mind. But the tingling of her skin where Kane had touched her brought her back to reality. _It's almost like he's burned me. . ._

"I'm going to do my hair," she called, barely waiting for Edge's response as she made a hasty exit. She walked a few hundred yards to a large table laid out with hair products and various blow dryers, curlers and flat irons. Candace Michelle was already there, moving a curling iron through the sections of her hair, and Lita found herself heading back in the opposite direction. She walked for a few minutes, not really focusing on where she was going. Suddenly she realized she was back at the wrestler's stage entrance which was now empty. 

She looked around and spotted a glow behind a flimsy cubicle type room stuck into the corner. Realizing what it was, Lita decided to seize the opportunity to craft her own return to competition. She headed over to the cubicle and leaned over one of the walls to see a young man surrounded by computer equipment, headphones clamped securely to his ears. "Hey Josh!" she called, but he didn't notice. She leaned a little further over and gently punched his shoulder. He jumped slightly and quickly pulled the headphones off. He spun around to see who had tapped him, and when he saw Lita, his face burst into a huge smile. "Hey Lita! Great to see you back!" he said as they embraced. "How's it going?" he asked, his vaguely Asian features prominent in the hash glare from his computer screen. 

Known to most of the company as "The DJ," Josh was the guy that coordinated all the music for Raw and Raw pay-per-views. In his off time he did do some causal spinning, but he played the true nomad and followed the company from place to place. A genuine nice guy, he was extremely bright and very good at what he did. "I need a favor," she said. "Sure, anything you need," he said, smiling up at her. "Do you still have my old music in there?" she asked, nodding at the computer screen. His face broke out into a grin when he realized what she was asking. "Of course," he replied. "I'll be using that tonight," she said, a big smile spreading on her face. A hand suddenly grabbing her shoulder caused her to utter an un-punk like squeal of fear. She whirled around to see Edge looking at her oddly. "Babe," he asked, "What do you think you're doing?"

_Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!_ She'd been caught red handed. "I thought we talked about this," he said, annoyance very clear in his voice. She opened her mouth to protest but Edge cut her off. "Hey, uh, DJ. We'll be using my music, thanks." Josh glanced at Lita, then at Edge, then back to Lita. She shook her head dejectedly, silently saying, _We'll use his_. Edge grabbed her hand and began to lead her back to the locker room area. "What's going on with you?" he said, clearly very upset. She started to reply, but he said, 'Wait, I don't want to hear it. I've got my own match to worry about. But as long as we're a couple, we're using my music," he said authoritatively. Lita wanted to hit him on his oversized chin. He led them back to the hair table which was now vacant. "Go on and do your hair. I've got some stuff to do," he said curtly before heading off. Lita watched him go, pissed at herself for not standing up to him. 

She busied herself with styling her hair until it was nearly 8:30, close to Raw's start. Already in the arena, she could hear the fans coming in. She figured now would be as a good time as any to engage in a little pre-match psych-out with Torrie. She straightened her back and headed off to the Women's locker room. When she arrived she paused briefly outside the door to center herself. When she was ready, she kicked the door open with a loud bang. Several high-pitched cries echoed from the room as she strode inside. Along a row of mirrors stood Maria staring at Lita in shock while she still held a tube of lipstick to her mouth, while Candace and Torrie stared up at her from a bench. Trish sat nearby, rubbing a polishing cloth over the gold championship belt, which was already gleaming. Victoria stood by Mickie James, who was giving Lita a dirty look. "Well, well, well. Don't you all look so cozy," she mused, gazing at each of them. 

"Why Lita," Trish drawled in false surprise, "I didn't know you were back." Ignoring her current adversary, she moved to stand over Trish. "Thanks for getting my belt all nice and shiny for me so it will look good when I take it away from you," she said, staring down harshly at the Canadian Diva. Trish set the belt aside and stood up, drawing herself to her full height. Even then, Lita still had an inch on her. "I have no idea what you're talking about," Trish mused, before she laughed. "Oh wait, you mean your little tournament thingy or whatever. I don't know who you had to _screw _to get that set up, but I can guarantee you that you've not getting this," she said, hoisting the belt into the air. Lita laughed in her face. "As far as I know, you're the only one that's fucked the chairman." Trish looked like she wanted to hit her, meaning Lita accomplished her mission. 

She turned to Torrie, who sat glaring at her from the bench. "And Torrie, I hope you don't mind when I strip you tonight. I just hope you got some really pretty underwear for the occasion." "Bitch," Torrie spat as Lita turned to leave. "Aw, princess, you ought to be nice to me. I can make this quick, or I can make it painful," Lita shot over her shoulder before leaving, allowing the door to slam shut behind her. There was only a half hour left until her match, so she headed back to Edge's dressing room. He was already in the process of warming up when he paused to look up at her. She could still tell he was pissed.

Resigning herself to get back into his good graces, she sank down on the floor beside him and mused, "There's nothing like talking shit to make me feel like the Rated R Diva," she said, a coy smile on her lips. Edge's expression softened as he smiled. "That's my girl." She gave him a quick kiss before they began to help each other warm up and stretch. Lita forced her wandering mind to concentrate on the task at hand, knowing this was just the first of one of many hoops she'd have to jump through before she reclaimed the title. 

_Remember no distractions_, she told herself over and over as she prepared herself for battle. 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The show had started promptly at 9, the cheers of the crowd echoed like a dull roar through the cavernous backstage area. Lita's match was the third one in, after HBK finished cutting his promo out in the ring. She and Edge had been waiting to make their entrance, Bischoff had approached them, telling Lita with a stupid smirk that her return hadn't been advertised, and none of the fans would be aware that she was wrestling tonight. Which meant that when she stepped out to the ring, nobody would be expecting it. Oh sure, there had been rumors, she'd looked them up herself a few days ago. People generally thought that she'd be returning to do what she'd been doing before: nothing.

Her ring entrance had been typical: Edge's music blared as they stepped out onto the platform. Edge had kissed her briefly, but she hadn't let him go on too long. They headed to the ring, Edge letting go of her long enough for her to climb into the ring alone. Then the crowd had stared chanting, "Slut Slut Slut!" It started gradually, then grew in intensity so it almost seemed like the entire crowd had joined in. Lita felt her face burn with embracement. It had lasted for several long moments before Torrie's music hit. The crowd had been distracted enough to stop chanting as the blonde diva and her little white dog came to the ring, Torrie pausing briefly to pass the dog to Lillian to hold. Lita's pulse had pound with excitement, overjoyed to be back in the ring, actually competing.

As she'd anticipated, she'd won with very little effort. Torrie had never been extremely talented in the ring. Lita managed to get Torrie's flimsy pink top off after a series of brutal chops to the chest. She'd stupidly allowed herself to get distracted as the crowd resumed their "Slut" chants. She waited a moment to long before scaling the turnbuckles, preparing to hit a moonsault on Torrie when she realized her opponent wasn't laid out on the mat any longer. She barely had time to react when Torrie lunged at her, knocking her off the turnbuckle, sending her crashing to the floor. She hit the ground feet first, sending a horrible shock of pain up through her legs to her hips. The pain was overwhelming as she crumpled to the floor. Torrie then took advantage of Lita's fall, diving to the floor and quickly wrenching Lita's pants off, twirling them in the air triumphantly. Thankfully Torrie celebrated a bit too long, allowing Lita to recover somewhat.

The blonde Diva's horrified scream had startled Lita, who had been in the process of sneaking up on her with the intention of a Twist of Fate. Edge, who had been watching silently for most of the match, had made his move, seizing Torrie's little white dog from Lillian. She'd begun pleading with Edge to give her back the dog when Edge winked at Lita over her shoulder. Inwardly, Lita was angry for his interference, pissed that he wouldn't let her win this on her own. But as she hit the Twist of Fate on an unsuspecting Torrie, she thought, _a win is a win._ The blonde diva was stunned long enough to give Lita the time to rip her pants off. The crowd began booing immediately, interspersed with the "Slut" chant. As Edge's music once again rang out, he swept her up in a hug before raising her hand in victory. Lita burned inside, angry that he couldn't leave her the hell alone to do anything. They had headed backstage, where Edge had quickly abandoned her to hang out with Y2J. She spent the rest of the show tucked away in one of the corridors, perched on an empty table, her Ipod plugged firmly into her ears. She had impatiently waited for the show to end, trying to ignore the turmoil building inside as her meeting with Kane drew closer.

Everyone had cleared out of the arena pretty fast, leaving the crew to take down the stage and the arena staff to clean up. In the hallway she could hear some of the other wrestlers calling each other goodnight as she headed into the empty Women's Locker Room. Everyone had left a while ago, but the mirrors were still steamy from the showers. Lita sat down on one of the benches, grimacing as she felt stabs of pain crawl up her legs and settle in her hips. She hadn't meant to land on the floor feet first, but she'd been unable to change her position as she fell. She hadn't expected Torrie to push her off the ropes, but she chalked that up to her still getting used to competition. The pain now was like most injuries; she ignored it for the time being, hoping it would work itself out in a day or two.

Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a hair tie and swept her sweaty hair into a loose pony tail. She had no idea if Kane was going to come, she had a sneaking suspicion that he was getting fed up with her and might call the whole thing off. She tried to fool herself into thinking she wasn't here waiting for him, no, she was just here for a shower. She was busy unlacing her boots when the door slowly creaked open. The shriek of metal hinges moving sent a shiver of excitement up her spine. Lita didn't have to look up to see who it was who stepped into the room. The door settled closed behind him as he stood silently, watching her back as she finished unlacing her boots.

He stepped forward, the sound of his heavy footsteps echoing in the empty room. Her heart started to beat faster as she turned to see him standing about four feet away from her, watching her with curious eyes. "I-I, uh, wasn't sure if you would come," she said, lamely struggling for something to break the silence. A slight grin passed over his face as he sat down on one of the benches so she wouldn't have to stare up at him. "I. . . I was pretty surprised that on your big return to the ring you wouldn't use your own music," he said neutrally, as if he was just making a passing comment. Before she really thought about what she was saying, she quipped, "So was I. . ." Inwardly she groaned at her careless words. The last thing in the world she needed was to broadcast that she wasn't deliriously happy with Edge anymore. She saw his surprise in his face for just a moment before it passed into neutrality again.

"You did very well out there," he said as Lita moved to the bench across him to remove her knee brace. She rolled up her pant leg enough to uncover it and propped her foot on the bench while she removed the various straps and tabs that held it in place. As she pulled the contraption of hard plastic and metal from her knee, the tingling pain surged into a sharp stab directly into the back of her knee and quickly shot up through her legs to her hips. On instinct, she tried to hide the pain, only allowing a low groan of pain to escape her clenched lips. She tentatively put some weight on the aching joint, and found her stupidity rewarded by another sharp stab, stronger than the first. Moving faster than she ever expected, Kane vaulted to his feet and quickly grabbed her shoulders to steady her. "What happened?" he asked as Lita allowed him to support her weight. "Bad landing," she moaned as she slowly raised her leg, hissing at the pain the slight movement caused. She eventually got the leg high enough she could reach behind her knee to massage the area, feeling for any swelling or other obvious injuries.

"Do you want me to get you the trainer?" he asked warily, not sure of the extent of her injuries. Stubbornly she shook her head no. The last thing she needed was to be seen heading to the trainer with an injury her first week back. "What hurts?" he asked, his hands leaving her shoulders to rest on her waist. Lita suppressed the shiver of delight at his touch and said, "I fucked up the landing when Torrie kicked me off the ropes. I took it all wrong. It's like stabbing shots in my damn knee and up to my hips," she muttered. Kane's hands dipped lower, moving to her hips now. She held her breath in anticipation as his fingers gently dug into the sensitive area where the painful joints were.

"Here?" he asked softly, his lips down next to her ear as he brought his head to rest gently by hers. _Mmm-hmm_, she moaned as his fingers dug deeper into the protesting muscles, slowly and deliberately working the pain out. Lita couldn't help but allow herself to fall back against Kane's massive chest as his hands helped ease the stabbing pains. After a few glorious minutes, the pain had subsided enough to allow an altogether different sensation take over. Warmth flowed over her, making her feel light, dizzy, delirious. . . It was almost like being drunk. She tossed her head back, allowing it to rest against his chest.

His hands gradually slid from her hips, trailing over her lower back, across her waist to her exposed stomach which he gently ran his fingers over, eliciting a hiss of delight from Lita. The pulse that beat heavily in her chest spread through her body, settling low in her abdomen. Behind her she could feel the heaviness of his breath on her neck as he dipped his head to press a timid kiss to the soft skin there. Lita remembered the awful look of hurt on his face when she refused him earlier and made sure to drop her head, encouraging him to continue. He quickly obliged her, pressing hot kisses along her neck, up to her jaw. Lita couldn't contain her gasp of excitement as his hands quickly reached up to the zipper that held her shirt together and pulled it down enough so his lips could reach the skin on her along her collarbone and shoulders.

She could barely think, the sensation of his lips on her skin had taken over. Every time he touched her, she surrendered, becoming completely vulnerable to him. It was unlike anything she'd experienced before; discovering how easily he could manipulate her. It was dangerous, the way he could control her so easily. The feel of his lips on her body was the worst; he made her want to let him continue, no matter how far it lead them. She broke away from him long enough to turn in his arms til she was pressed tightly against his chest. She gazed up into his eyes and felt her pulse double at seeing the fire burning there. She saw him bend down, his intentions clear; he was going to kiss her, and she was going to let him. She could barely breathe as he paused just an inch away, allowing himself to savor the sensation of holding her again.

And then the worst possible thing she could have ever expected.

From somewhere inside her bag, the song Metalingus burst from her cell phone. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she watched Kane's demeanor change instantly. The warmth that had been radiating from his body went away immediately, replaced with brutal coldness. He pulled away from her and Lita choked back angry tears at he looked at her, accusing, angry. "Aren't you going to get that?" he growled. She wanted to whither under his awful gaze, his awful coldness seeping into her heart. She quickly turned around and fumbled in her bag for her phone; anything to escape from his awful gaze. She tried to ignore the tremor in her hands as she flipped the phone open and brought it to her ear. "Hello?" she whispered softly.

"Hey babe," Edge's voice called out, loud enough that she was sure Kane could hear it. "Are you almost ready?" he asked. "Uh, sure. I'll be out in a few minutes," she said, trying to keep her voice neutral, even as she felt Kane's eyes boring into her back. "Well, hurry up. I'm in the parking lot." With a click the line went dead, and Lita closed the phone. For a long moment, she stood clutching the device, unable to make herself turn around to face him.

"I never meant this to happen. . ." he sighed, surprising Lita. She turned to him as he lowered his huge frame onto a bench. He looked at her, his face pained. "I never meant to get close to you again. You fought hard for your freedom. I got over that. It didn't change how I felt. . ." Lita bit her lip, her mind desperately fumbling for something to say to him. Somehow, she felt saying Edge is waiting for her, would be the last straw for this delicate connection. Lita, startled by his out of character confession, limped over to sit beside him on the bench. She saw him flinch when she reached out to bring his large hand to rest on her lap. She knew she didn't deserve to be trusted, but seeing it actually reflected in front of her hurt. She entwined his fingers with his, as the two sat in silence, both dreading the moment she'd have to leave for Edge.

She looked up at him, catching his mismatched eyes as he stared down at her. Silently he pleaded with her with those eyes. That look spoke more clearly than words to Lita. Silently he begged, _Please give me something. Tell me I'm not your emotional plaything. . . _The pain in his eyes, like her ill-reputable past, haunted her. Under his pleading gaze she suddenly cried out, "What are we doing?" She let go of his hand and stood, wincing only slightly at the pain in her legs. "None of this makes any sense. I'm with Edge, I'm the Rated R Diva. We're not supposed to have anything to do with each other anymore. You're supposed to be maiming and destroying in the ring, and I'm supposed to be happy with Edge. But I'm not! And I look at you and think I'd be happier. . ." As soon as those words left her lips, the burn of tears hit the back of her throat, cutting off the rest of the sentence. Her own confession started herself. She thought about the implications of actually admitting to herself and to Kane that she wasn't happy anymore. Far worse, not even she was capable of admitting she would be happier with _someone_ other than Edge.

Lita was still coming to grips with what she had started to say when Kane released her hand. "You need to go," he said stiffly. Lita's mouth opened to protest, but he cut her off. "You've got much more important things to worry about then me. I want you to concentrate. I want you to win. If that means I don't get to see you, then it's worth it." The finality in his tone both excited and crushed her. She was glad to hear from someone other than Edge that she had their support. But she wasn't ready to cut Kane out of her life again when he seemed to be the only one she could really turn to. "How did this happen to us?" she asked, trying to hold back the burning tears in her eyes. "It's just weakness. You were hurt and alone. You reached for the first familiar thing you saw. That just happened to be me," he said, an ironic smile on his face.

His words hurt her, probably more than he intended. Her shock must have registered on her face, because Kane immediately apologized. "Please don't misunderstand," he said, using the tips of his fingers to tilt her face to his. "I didn't mean to be so harsh. I love every moment I have with you." As his face inched closer to hers, Lita found it increasingly difficult to breathe. Her body tingled like it was on fire as Kane pressed the softest kiss possible to her lips. Her heart clutched at the contact, fearful, yet dying for more. He rose suddenly crossing the room to retrieve her bag. As he offered it to her, she resigned herself to her fate. "Edge is waiting," Kane said, his face solemn, but his eyes burned with emotion. She took the bag from his outstretched hand and silently watched him go. The emotions swirled around her head, putting her in a tumultuous fog. They threatened to overwhelm her if she didn't concentrate on something other than how she felt.

As quickly as she could she pulled on some shoes and left the locker room, winding a path through the dark and empty arena out to the performer's parking lot. She shoved the heavy metal door open and couldn't help her gasp of shock as the cold night air hit her briskly on her face. She clutched her hoodie tighter around her body as she headed over to where Edge was parked in his SUV, waiting for her. Even though she was about a hundred feet away, she could already hear the blast of rock music from the vehicle. The moment before she reached to open the door, she took a deep breath to help calm her nerves. She hadn't imagined feeling guilty for being with Edge ever again, and the sensation was deeply disturbing.

When he spotted her, he immediately turned down the music as she climbed in, wincing only slightly from the pain in her legs. She tossed her bag in back and had fastened her seatbelt when she realized that Edge was distracted, his gaze focused intently out in the distance. "Hello?" she asked, trying to figure out what he was looking at. She sensed the tension coming off him, and it disturbed her. "What the hell are you looking at?" she demanded, becoming fearful of Edge's silence. "Isn't that Kane's SUV?" he growled. With horror Lita realized that he was staring at Kane's SUV parked a little ways off, the last one in the performer's lot. Lita's pulse pounded as she tried to play cool. "I guess. . . Can we go?" He turned to look at her, and incredulous look on his face. "You guess? _You guess_ that your ex-husband, the guy who took over your life and terrorized us for months? You didn't see him in there? He wasn't following you around, trying to kidnap you?"

Like an old pro, Lita played off his fears, comforting his suspicions. "No, Edge. I didn't see him. I was in the Women's Locker room. Besides, it is a pretty big arena. He probably didn't even know I was still there." Edge glanced out the window again before looking back to her. He let out a small laugh and said, "You're right babe. He's probably off somewhere torturing puppies or something." Lita rolled her eyes in disgust, while inwardly she let out a huge sigh of relief. He sped them out of the parking lot and to their hotel nearby. When they arrived, Edge took her bag for her, slinging his arm over her shoulders. As they rode up the elevator to their room, he told her, "I'm very proud of you babe. You did really well tonight." She smiled weakly as he opened their room. She immediately went for the bed, which was freshly made and cool from the night air.

Lita rolled her head back against the cool pillow and closed her eyes against the harsh light from the bedside lamp. Edge tossed his bag down on the floor beside her and headed to the bathroom. Lita rolled over onto her stomach, savoring the feel of the cool comforter on her skin as Edge washed up and changed his clothes. He emerged a few moments later and sat down on the bed beside her. As the bed shifted with his weight, Lita opened her eyes to look at him. He reached down to run a hand through her hair as he asked, "Are you alright babe? You look like you don't feel well." Lita hesitated only a moment before she said, "I feel nauseous. My stomach really hurts." Edge gave a sympathetic moan and leaned over to gently kiss her cheek. "Well, I suppose you won't want to come out with Chris and the guys then?" Lita shook her head and said weakly "I don't think gallons of beer and loud music is going to help much." "Are you sure," he asked softly, burying his nose in her hair. "I just want to rest," she said, turning her head so she could look at him. In his eyes she saw that disappointed look before he got off the bed. "Fine," he huffed, "we'll be back pretty late."

She nodded her head as she watched him pick up his leather jacket and room key. Lita turned her head away, so she wouldn't have to watch him go. She heard him pull the door open, and then the small smack of something hitting the bed. The door had snapped closed behind him as she sat up to see what he'd thrown at her. Lying near her hips was a small pink bottle of pills. She couldn't help but smile at how thoughtful he was.

Part of her felt pretty sleazy for lying to Edge, but his oppressive companionship was stifling her. Like a cat she slunk out of bed, grabbing her laptop from it's bag by the bed. As it booted up, she carried it to the bed and lay back down, her mind restless with the events of the day.

The match had been easy enough, things would only get progressively harder from there. She knew that every match was winnable, if she was careful and didn't make foolish mistakes. Edge's interference tonight bothered her to no end; she did not need people saying her success was due to Edge's help. Shawn was right, Edge was seriously going to fuck this up for her if she didn't do something about it. But the hole she'd dug herself was too deep. After joining up with Edge, she'd lost a lot of fans and a lot of supporters in the locker room. She barely had anyone she could talk to anymore except Edge and his close friends. Not that she'd ever been really close friends with any of the Divas, but she had no one she could talk to, even to complain about the way Edge snored or left the toilet seat up. Deep in her chest she felt the pull of longing she despised. That, on top of all her other frustrations succeeded in eliciting an exasperated "Son of a bitch," from Lita. Resigning herself to her fate she grabbed the small black box from her bag and took it, and the computer, out to the balcony of her room. She ignored the cold in the air as she sat down onto one of the plastic chairs and propped her feet up on the plastic table.

From the small box she withdrew the single remaining cigarette and lit it. The strong smell of the cloves filled her senses, helping to soothe her nerves. She smoked the cigarette slowly, taking in the huge hotel complex. Shaped in a huge U shape, she watched the lights go on and off in the rooms across from her and the people swimming in the pool below her. She took joy in the cigarette, fully intending it to be her last for a long while. As Lucas constantly reminded her, it was a bad habit. Her dislike for regular cigarettes helped to ensure that she wouldn't be tempted after this pack was gone. Eventually she finished the cigarette and opened her laptop. She spent a few minutes fooling around online, checking her email and such. After a few idle minutes she went into Youtube. The plethora of fan tribute videos devoted to her always helped make her feel better. She watched some of her favorites, suddenly feeling almost sick with longing for the old days. She snapped the computer shut, hurriedly brushing the tears from her eyes. _Why did everything have to get so fucking complex? When did the damn storylines mean more that pure competition?_ She sat the computer down on the table, drawing her knees up to her chest and wishing to God she had another cigarette.

She hated how she couldn't simply be Lita anymore. It was always "Edge and Lita" or "The Rated R Couple." God forbid she wear her old logo or use the music written for her again. . . She cast her eyes downward, staring off into space. One floor and one room over, Lita saw a sliding glass door open as someone stepped out onto the balcony. She rested her chin on her knee, watching the man walk to the edge of the railing to peer over, as she had done. After a pensive moment the man finally turned around, and Lita couldn't help her cry of "Oh God!" Immediately after the words left her, she slapped her hand over her mouth in shock. She hadn't expected her words to be that loud, or for the man to hear her. Lita's heart began to pound as below her, the man's head slowly rotated up to where she was perched.

She watched a slow grin spread over Kane's face, sending chills down her spine. The wind brought the sound of his laughter up to her, and she cringed with embarrassment. He walked to the edge of his balcony closest to hers and looked up to where she sat. Lita lowered her legs, trying to appear as if she wasn't shocked to see him. He called up something to her, but the words were swept up by the wind. Lita's first instinct was to grab her computer and pretend she hadn't noticed him, but she thought the better of it. The lousy feeling in her chest over the way she'd been treating him was still fresh in her mind. She wasn't a cruel person, and her recent actions even confused her.

Down below he seemed to get the fact she couldn't hear him as he sat down in a plastic chair identical to hers. Lita couldn't help but watch him as he looked out over the sparkling lights of the city as she had done. Together they shared the same vista, Lita taking comfort in knowing that a friend was nearby, even as Edge was who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. He glanced back up at her again, catching her eyes with his. She watched him and was crushed by the horrible sadness that came with knowing that all she wanted in the world right now was only a few feet away, but condemned to be always out of her reach.

Down below, Kane was crushed as he watched tears roll down her cheeks. She hurriedly wiped them away, trying to keep up her strong front. She glanced down at him one last time with such horrible sadness in her face before she quickly got up and went back into her hotel room. Kane continued to stare up at the empty balcony, trying to force the image of Lita's tears from his mind. He'd done nothing but hurt her today, and it killed him. Even when he kissed her, he could taste the sadness in her lips. He turned to go back inside his own room before he glanced back and whispered into the cold night, "Goodnight Lita."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Lita had a fitful night of sleep that was interrupted in a spectacular way around 3 am. The noise woke her up even while they were still in the hallway. As Lita slowly became conscious, she could hear the slurred words outside her door, "Do you think she'll be naked?" followed by a chorus of snickers. Edge's voice rang out, "Mabye. . .Let me. . .open the . . . door. . ." Even from outside she could tell he'd had a lot to drink tonight. He fumbled outside the door for a long moment before it burst open, throwing a long shaft of light into the room. Edge practically fell across the threshold as Y2J, Randy and Shelton came tumbling in, each shoving to get a look at the supposedly naked Lita.

The guys excited voices rose in an excited crescendo until they spotted Lita lying in bed, defiantly not naked. All four joined in a pitiful chorus of "Awww" as Edge shoved his way forward, stumbling over to the bed. "Don't worry guys. I can still get her naked whenever I want," he slurred, falling down beside her. Lita shoved the covers away, beyond pissed. "Alright!" she yelled as she marched to the door and started shoving the guys out the door. "Nobody is getting naked! Out! Out!" Normally she probably wouldn't have been able to move any of the guys, but in their inebriated state, they were pretty much helpless against her. She ignored their pleading protests and finally managed to slam the door behind them.

Edge, who was still on the bed looked up at her, an unhappy look on his face. "Aw babe, why did you have to be so mean? They just wanted to look," he said, looking up at her like she was the one that had done something wrong. She went into the bathroom to turn on the light so she could survey the damage Edge had done that night. As soon as the lights burst on, Edge dove under the covers like a vampire in the sunlight. His anguished cry made her snigger as she went over to the bed to check on him. She managed to pry the comforter out of his hands long enough for her to see his eyes which were bloodshot and dilated. He was done for the night. She moved to the foot of the bed to pull off his shoes, watching him drift into unconsciousness. She tossed them into the corner before adjusting the comforter to cover him. He rolled over and was snoring within a minute.

Lita moaned unhappily, her head pounding from being suddenly awoken from a deep sleep. She was used to nursing herself and others when they'd had too good of a time, but she didn't like doing it at 3 am. Not to mention the fact that she had Divas photo shoot in slightly over three hours. All she needed was to walk into the studio looking like she'd been the one up drinking all night and not Edge. She turned off the bathroom light and crawled back into bed, shoving Edge back onto his side. He didn't seem notice, instead he rolled onto his stomach and began to snore all the louder. Lita angrily chewed on her lip, suppressing the urge to roll him out onto the balcony so she could have some peace.

She reached down beside the bed into her toiletries bag and rummaged around a moment before she pulled out a tiny plastic box from one of the pockets. She quickly removed the earplugs and inserted them, hoping they'd provide some relief from the human chainsaw in bed with her. Thankfully they reduced the noise to a dull roar allowing Lita that peace she needed to fall back asleep. She eventually managed to fall asleep with a smile on her face as she thought of the major hangover Edge would have in the morning.

Only two and a half hours later, the alarm went off, once again jolting her out from a dead sleep. She cursed at the alarm and at Edge as she stumbled into the bathroom for a quick shower. Her mind was numb from the lack of sleep, it was all she could do to shower and get dressed. She wore simply a zipped hoodie and running pants, her face was clean from all makeup. They'd take care of that soon enough at the photo shoot. Using the room phone she called for a cab to pick her up in 10 minutes. She fell back slightly on the bed, rolling over to press against Edge, who was tangled in the sheets. Gently she danced her fingers over his upper arms, gently bringing him back to consciousness. He growled as she tickled him, unwilling to rejoin the world of the living. She bent her head down to his ear and whispered, "I've got a photo shoot today. It'll probably last all day. We can head out tonight. Okay?" Edge slurred something that sounded like "don't wake the pancakes," before Lita slid from bed and headed out to meet her cab.

Outside the sky was slowly turning a lighter shade of blue, the first rays of pink sunlight spreading across the clouds. She quickly climbed into the waiting cab and directed the driver to the studio with directions she's scrawled on a spare piece of paper. As he drove, Lita shook her head, trying to shake off the sleep so she would seem reasonably awake for the shoot. All the Divas were being assembled at the ass-crack of dawn to shoot for a special pictorial that would give each a 8 page spread in a Playboy-esque magazine. Because this, and various other photo shoots were a part of all the Diva's contracts, they were expected to comply with a minimum of bitching. At least they weren't asking her to take off all her clothes. As eager as some of the Divas were to pose for Playboy, she was defiantly not one to share in that dream.

It was just past 6:30 when Lita get into the huge building where the shoot was being held. The photography staff, as well as wardrobe, hairstylists and makeup artists were already there and busy setting up for the day. A long table had been set up by the entrance and was laid out with trays of pastries and several large pots of coffee. She quickly poured herself a cup and took a deep drink of her coffee, trying to jolt the sleepiness out of her body. A young woman rushed up, happily greeting her. "Good morning Lita! I'm Tracie, the director of this shoot. You're here on time, thank you so much! We're still waiting on some of the girls. . . But since you managed to get here, let's get you over to wardrobe and pick out what you want to wear for the shoot!"

Lita was a bit overwhelmed at the perky woman's flood of words, but she allowed her to grab her elbow and lead her over to the area set up for wardrobe. Lita took in the racks of scanty nightgowns, negligees, lingerie and bikinis and swallowed a groan of disgust. Tracie led her over to another woman who had a tape measurer draped around her neck. "Lita, this is Melinda, she's the wardrobe stylist. She'll help you pick out what you'd like to wear today," Tracie explained before she spotted Victoria entering the studio and dashed off. "Good morning," Melinda said cheerfully. "As you can see, we have a lot of items to choose from, you'll need three different items today."

Lita ran her finger over a rack of clothing, taking in the brilliantly colored silk and lace, rhinestone accents and revealing cutouts. Resigning herself to make the best of the situation, she gave her measurements to Melinda who then directed her towards the best rack of clothes. She examined the different outfits with a critical eye before asking, "What has everyone else picked out?" Melinda pursed her lips a moment before replying, "The blonde one, Trish? She's got a pretty white negligee , an embroidered silk halter thong set and the silver bikini. Maria has the black negligee, the fuchsia lace lingerie and the red bikini. Those two are the only ones here yet." Lita took her time browsing through the racks, trying to find something different from the others.

As much as she hated these sort of sex-kitten photos-shoots, she knew that this session could do a lot for her with the fans. All the promotional pictures taken since she sided with Edge had been meant to showcase her toughness and arrogance. In the words of one photographer, she had to "show the bitch." She took advantage of the fact she was being given the chance to be pretty and soft. Anything to make her seem more like herself and less like the Rated R Diva was good at this point. Lita quickly pulled out a corset and garter set that was such a striking shade of turquoise it practically screamed for her to wear it. Melinda expressed her pleasure at the choice. "I'm glad you like that one. It reminds me of you." Lita thanked her as she continued to browse the clothes. The next thing that caught her eye was a simple silk negligee in a shade of pale green. Unlike Trish's choice that was covered in feathers, this one was understated, covering up just enough to still be considered sexy. It wasn't like anything she'd worn before. The third item she pulled was a lacy baby red bra and boyshorts set. Melinda noted her choice and smiled. Lita freed the panties from the hangar and replaced the bra on the rack. She twirled the thin bit of fabric around her fingers and said, "I'll take these." The other woman looked at her rather oddly, but said nothing as she noted down the choice. "Well, uh, now that we've got that all done, head over to see Alan who will start working on your hair."

Lita headed over to a different part of the studio that had been turned into a mini-salon of sorts. A long row of mirrors lined a table crowded with curlers, straighteners and blow dryers. A young man greeted her, swiftly guiding her to a studio chair positioned facing the mirrors. She settled in, trying not to notice that Trish was seated two chairs over, already dressed in her fluffy white negligee. Her hair was already pulled into large rollers as she flipped through a magazine. Lita watched Trish carefully across the mirror as the blonde diva pretended to ignore her. A moment later a man with a full head of shocking yellow hair greeted her cheerfully. "I'm so glad that some of the girls know what a call time is. It is very nice to meet you. I'm Alan, the stylist for this shoot." He moved around to the back of the chair where he began running his hands over her hair. "The final look will be completely up to you. If you want tight curls, we can do that. Well, with your thick hair that might take all day!" he laughed. "Just something really soft. Use the wide curling iron just to make it interesting," she said, wanting to avoid the hours that some Diva's invested in their hair. She watched him smile and nod in the mirror, "So they'll want to run their fingers through it, eh?" Two chairs down, a slight snigger of laughter escaped Trish, who was still pretending to be ignoring Lita.

Lita opened her mouth to say something snotty to Trish when Maria plopped down in the chair closest to Lita. She was already wearing a red bikini that a half open robe did nothing to conceal. Her face was already full of makeup, her hair rolled up in dozens of tiny curlers that would give her ringlets when Alan was finished. "So, Lita!" she chirped, freakishly energetic for the early hour, "What did you pick out?" Before Lita had a chance to reply, Maria continued happily, "I love this, don't you! It's just like shopping. I fell like I'm a Victoria's Secret model! I hope we get to keep some of this stuff." Lita wanted to smash her head against something as doleful green eyes stared up at her, now waiting for a response.

Lita ignored the fact that this was the Diva she'd be facing next and forced a smile as she replied, "Yeah, I like the outfits too." Maria smiled brightly and continued unabated, "I hope I do good. This is my first shoot like this. Oh my gosh, it's just like America's Next Top Model!" Lita got the head smashing urge again as Maria started to giggle. Thankfully at that moment Alan decided to return, carrying an armload of the large curlers that would add waves to Lita's hair. She silently thanked the gods as Maria turned to Trish now that Lita was otherwise occupied. She closed her eyes as Alan worked, first applying product to her hair and then winding large sections of it around the curlers. While he worked, she heard several of the other Diva's arrive, including Melina, Torrie and Mickie James. Lita rolled her eyes as the girlish squeals of joy that rang through the studio as they chose their outfits.

A few minutes later Alan was done putting her hair up and sent her over to the makeup artists who were already working on Trish, who was still pretending she didn't notice Lita. The bright lights of the makeup mirrors hurt her eyes and she briefly closed them. A moment later a gently hand on her shoulder alerted her that the makeup artist was ready. She looked up at a young woman wearing coveralls and a bandana around her short red hair, her arms already covered with patches of makeup to test colors. "I'm Missy," she said nicely, shaking Lita's hand. "My job is really to make sure you get the looks you want. Do you want something soft and sexy, or something more hard, rocker chick kind of stuff?"

"Just give her a black crayola. She knows what to do," Trish laughed from the other chair. Lita knew Trish was just trying to get her to do something stupid, so she bit down her anger. She glanced over to Trish, who was pretending she hadn't said anything at all. Lita allowed a smug grin to cross her face as she commented, "Wow, looks like you left your title back at the hotel. Must feel kind of naked with out it, huh? Well, you'd better get used to that feeling Trish, honey, because I'm taking it away real soon." For just the briefest moment she saw the look of doubt in Trish's eyes and she knew she'd won. "I'd like to see you try," the blonde diva hissed.

Lita turned back to Missy who was watching from a safe distance away. "What kind of eyeliner do you have?" she asked nicely, focusing on the task at hand.

The shoot was slated to last all day, but Lita's portion was done in three hours. The photographer, Michel something-or-other had been really nice, allowing Lita to really make some of the pictures different from the standard Diva pictures. The director, Tracie, had been very happy with Lita's results and sent her home with a manila envelope full of beautiful 8x10s of her best pictures of the day. As she took a cab back to her hotel, she flipped through them, really liking the way they'd turned out. Two were her particular favorites. One showed Lita in the pale green negligee lying across a bed, her hair lying softly across the rumpled covers. The focus was not on her breasts, which did look very nice, but was on her eyes. They were shocking, two pools of hazel that drew you in. It was like she was staring at someone just out of frame, someone she wanted. And Lita wasn't about to pretend it was Edge she was thinking about. She was proud of that one in particular. It made her look soft, something decidedly different from her Rated R persona.

The second was much hotter, something that would defiantly get her attention. She had her back turned to the camera, her head angled to give a seductive smile over her shoulder. All she wore were the red panties and a killer pair of stiletto black leather boots that came up nearly to her knees. A mirror in the background gave a full image of her front as she covered her breasts with one arm. It defiantly had to be one of the sexiest pictures she'd ever taken. Tracie had hinted that that photo may end up being the cover for the magazine. Even though it was just getting to be eleven in the morning and she was ass-tired, Lita was extremely pleased with the results. _Finally, a picture of me that Edge isn't in_, she quipped mentally.

She arrived back at the hotel and was surprised to see a small group of wrestlers gathered in the lobby. As she approached, she saw that the gaggle of males were surrounding Maria who was passing around an envelope just like Lita's. The brunette Diva quickly spotted Lita and excitedly called her over. "Hey Lita! Wasn't that fun? Oooh, come show us your pictures!" she squealed as the males turned to stare at her. Lita smiled and headed over where Shelton and Val Venus immediately came in close to see what she had. Maria pushed over to Lita to get a better look as Lita pulled out a few of the pictures and handed them to the guys. Shelton's exclamation of "Oooh, damn!" got the attention of the rest of the guys who immediately crowded around. The pictures made their way around the group as everyone admired her assets. Lita smiled happily as some of the guys told her how much they liked them, making her feel less of an alien for once. Even Val, who had made a point to avoid her in the past had said she looked, "very fine."

Maria clutched her arm excitedly as Lita showed her some of the pictures, awing in girlish pleasure. The excitement of the moment passed as Lita looked down at the younger girl who she was slated to wrestle in three days. And she felt bad about it. Maria had just taken her first steps into the ring, and Lita had already made sure to give her hard time. Someone with in ring talents so frail should not be expected to compete with former champions. She wondered how many times Maria would get her ass kicked before she finally gave up. The whole thing was a bad call on the part of the writers; she felt like they were taking advantage of Maria's naiveté. She thought back to a few weeks ago when Maria had comforted her after Edge's outburst. Even though Lita had been downright cruel to Maria in the past, she always seemed to forget that anything unpleasant happened. She was like a small dog, something cute that was always happy to see you. Lita fought the urge to pat Maria's head.

"You know who would like these?" Maria asked, matter-of-factly. "Who?" Lita asked, rolling her eyes slightly. "I bet Kane would like them," Maria said, proud of her reasoning. Lita watched in horror as the heads of the other wrestlers slowly rotated towards the two Divas. Maria didn't seem to notice Lita's horrified expression as she continued, "I remember when Edge hi-"

Lita quickly clamped a hand over Maria's mouth before she could say another damn word. "Yes," she laughed haughtily, "I'm sure my psycho ex would love to see what he's missing." A few of the guys smirked in agreement and she knew she was off the hook. She removed her hand from Maria's mouth and called for her pictures back. "Alright boys, give 'em back. That means you Shelton, Hurricane, Rosie. . ." Grudgingly the guys gave her back the pictures which she hurriedly stuffed back in the envelope.

She then grabbed Maria by the elbow and pulled her toward the elevators. "Hey Maria," she said nicely, "I need to talk to you for a moment." The smaller Diva followed her eagerly into the nearest elevator which opened for them quickly. When the doors had closed firmly behind them, Lita allowed the nice expression to drop from her face as Maria pushed the button for her floor. "You do know Kane and I are divorced? I'm with Edge now, the former WWE champ," she said, looking into Maria's eyes to see if she was understanding what was said. Maria smiled and said, "Oh yeah, I know. You two fought about it for like ever." "So why would you mention him?" she asked, trying to figure out what exactly the other girl knew. It probably wouldn't be much, but still. She couldn't have anyone suspecting anything was happening between herself and Kane. "Oh, well, you know when Edge hit you, I ran into Kane who was really angry. I told him what happened to you and he got really upset. He left really quickly, didn't even say goodbye. He just said, 'I'll kill him' and that was it," Maria said, acting like the whole thing was old news.

As the elevator chimed as it climbed the floors, Lita relaxed somewhat and leaned her shoulders against the wall. Two things were apparent. First, Maria didn't seem to know anything else beyond what she had just relayed. And second it meant that Kane had lied to her. Maria's voice once again injected itself into Lita's thoughts. "You know, Kane is sort of like one of my exes. We broke up, and he like couldn't let go. Even after I started dating someone new, he kept trying to call me and send me flowers. I mean, gosh, get the point already! But you've got Edge, and he'll keep you safe." The elevator doors opened and they both stepped into the long hallway lined with doors. "Well my room's down this way," Maria chirped, "See you in Helena!" Lita turned down the other hallway and had only gone a few steps when she noticed that she was on the wrong floor. All the doors were in the 700's, not the 800's. "Wrong freaking floor. . ." she muttered as she turned back to head for the elevator.

_One floor down, one room over. . . _

Lita steps faltered as she turned back to gaze down the hallway. Unexpected nerves suddenly spiked her pulse as she realized that this was Kane's floor. She was in room 811, which meant he was in 709. The door nearest Lita was 701. She looked down the hall, counting the doors until her gaze settled on 709. She bit her lip, completely unsure of what to do. A very powerful force seemed to be pulling her towards the door. She actually felt her self leaning to take the first step when she stopped. In her mind she tried to rationalize what was going on:

_First of all, you need to get your ass back to your room, nurse your baby of a boyfriend back to life and pack up. You've got to be in Helena tomorrow. But he freaking lied to me! As I lay in that hospital bed, he lied to me to cover his own ass. You jerk! Like I didn't. . ._

Lita nearly jumped out of her skin when the door she was fixated on suddenly swung open. _Oh god, oh god, oh god!_ She mentally screamed inside her head as she spun in a circle, unable to decide if she should high-tail it out of there or stay and face the awkwardness. The last thing she needed was for him to catch her stalking in the hallway, like some crazed fan. After a moment he stepped out of the room and pulled out several suitcases behind him, his back to Lita. She felt her heart jump into her throat at the sight of him and she fought to keep a cool exterior. _Alright genius, and what exactly are you going to say to him? _

Lita heart raced as he slung his bags over his shoulders and turned around. He only made it a few steps before he saw her and he faltered. They looked at each other a long moment before he regained his senses and walked to where she stood. She looked up at him and felt her heart clutch at the sight of him. He looked so. . . normal. He gazed down at her, his eyes clear and curious. His skin was slightly flushed and the smell of his soap still clung to him after his shower. His plain black shirt, dark jeans and brown leather jacket were very different from what she normally saw him in, it was almost odd. She allowed her mind to drift to her boyfriend who was probably still passed out in bed in the same clothes from the day before. "Are you looking for me?" he asked softly, noticing she seemed slightly agitated. "I just, uh, got off on the wrong floor," she said quickly, unable to keep herself from staring at him.

He gave a knowing smile and said, "Yeah, sometimes it gets hard to keep track of where you are when we practically live in hotels." They fell silent as their bodies drew closer. Lita's breath caught in her throat as Kane's hand gently reached to caress her cheek. "Last night. . ." Kane started, as he watched her eyes very carefully, "Are you going to be alright?" She gently curled her arm around his and said, "I'm going to have to be." Her earlier anger at him was now forgotten as his fingers softly moved over her cheek and into her hair. When he pulled away, Lita was genuinely sad. Her skin still tingled where he'd touched her. "Your boyfriend is probably conscious by now. You might want to check on him," he said, stepping away slightly from her. "How do you know about that?" Lita asked, genuinely surprised he knew about Edge's exploits last night. "They got off on the wrong floor last night. You could hear them all down the hall," he said gruffly, unhappy about being woken up in the middle of the night.

Resigning herself to her fate, she watched him pick up his bags. "You're right," she conceded, "I should go." Unwilling to draw out the awkwardness of the moment, Lita wished him safe travel before heading up the stairs back to her own room. Inwardly she cursed Edge for unconsciously ruining another moment she had with Kane. She arrived back to her room and hesitantly opened the door, unsure of what Edge's condition would be.

In the light from the hallway, she could see the bed was very messy, but empty. She opened the door wider to see Edge was sitting at the table by the balcony, hunched over a cup of coffee. She silently entered, making sure to close the door softly. "Where were you?" he asked gruffly, his hangover obviously hitting him hard. She shook her head as she said, "I was at a photo shoot, if you would remember. How's the hangover?" She moved around to where he sat and ran her hands over his shoulders in a soothing motion, slowly allowing her hands to massage his neck and back. As she worked, he asked groggily, "What happened last night?" Lita laughed and said, "Well, I can't say for what happened before you got here, but you, Shelton, Chris and Randy burst in about 3 am, after you apparently promised them a peep show." "Oh. Uh, sorry about that," he said, turning slightly to give her a sheepish grin. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips so he could kiss it.

"What did you do while I was away?" he asked. A brief image of Kane gazing up at her passed through her mind before she replied simply, "oh, nothing." She patted his shoulder softly and said, "Come on sweetie. It's nearly noon and all the other wrestlers are making a mass exodus to Helena. Why don't you get in the shower and I'll pack up?" she suggested in a manner that was more of a command than an actual suggestion. Too hung over to argue, he allowed her to lead him to the bathroom so he could shower. Once he got the water running Lita left him to his own devices, busying herself with collecting their stuff that was strewn about the room and packing it back into their suitcases. A few minutes later she was all finished and Edge emerged from the bathroom feeling marginally better. He came up behind Lita and wrapped his arms around her and asked, "Is everything ready?" She nodded yes as she zipped the last case closed. "Hey, how about we get on the road ASAP and grab some food. I'm starving," he suggested, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"Sure babe," she agreed, turning in his arms to press a soft kiss to his lips. "I'll take the first load down while you finish up, and then we'll go, alright?" she said, extracting herself from Edge's grasp. "Sounds good to me," he said, helping her load up with their carry-ons and one of the rolling suitcases. Making sure she had the keys to Edge's Land Rover, she left him to finish getting ready and headed downstairs. When the elevator reached the lobby, she glanced around and saw Kane was standing at the concierge's desk talking to a young man about something. Lita felt a faint blush rise to her cheeks as she hurriedly headed for the parking lot, easily spotting Edge's hulking vehicle. She tossed the first of the bags into the back when she noticed Kane's big black SUV parked a few spaces down, the back door left slightly ajar.

For one brief moment she stared at the door, the wheels in her mind spinning. A sly grin crossed her face as she quickly pulled a manila envelope from her bag and then fumbled for a marker. She sat on the bumper of the SUV and pulled out her favorite two photos from the morning's shoot. She flipped over the one that focused on her eyes and quickly began to write. The words flowed quickly from her mind through the pen. Even though the concept had been bouncing around inside her head for days, she hadn't actually put onto paper yet. Before she knew it she was finished. She paused only one brief moment to look over her handiwork. She next took the other photo, the sexier one and signed it simply, Love Lita.

She took both pictures and darted over to Kane's SUV and pulled the door open. Inside she spotted his carry-on lying on top of the seat. She grabbed it and opened the main compartment. She placed both pictures inside and quickly closed it back up. She gently closed the door behind her and headed back for the hotel. She walked quickly through the lobby, noticing that Kane wasn't there anymore. Once she had caught an elevator, she tried to calm herself down. _What the hell was that about?_ she asked herself. She hadn't planed to do any of that.

Laughter bubble up through her as she realized the sheer silliness of what she'd just done. What was she expecting Kane to do? See the pictures and become so enflamed he had to hunt her down and ravish her? The thought made her laugh all the harder. No. . . that wasn't what she was expecting. She wanted him to know exactly what their brief encounters were doing to her.

When she got back to the room, Edge was sitting on the bed, flipping through the TV stations. He looked up at her and asked, "All set?" "Everything's ready. Just grab those last two," she said, watching him shut off the TV and grab the last two rolling suitcases. They headed downstairs, pausing only for Lita to return the room keys. As they walked through the parking lot, Lita noticed Kane's SUV was gone. She still wasn't sure what he'd think when he made his discovery, but she was glad she made the effort. Together they shoved the last two bags into the back of the Land Rover. Lita shut the back door and moved around to the passengers side only to see Edge had already climbed in. He smiled at her through the open window and said, "You're driving babe."

Lita rolled her eyes and took the keys from his outstretched hand and climbed in the driver's seat. She really hated driving the monstrous vehicle, but Edge was still recovering. She pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the highway. As they rode in silence, a smile curled over Lita's face as she went over the lines she'd written to Kane over and over in her head:

_I'm burning_

_Inside for you_

_You've burned me so badly_

_Your touch_

_Your taste_

_Your soul_

_I need to feel your _

_Fire_

_Hate _

_Passion_

_I want to see you burn_

_Like me_

_I need to feel you burn_

_Like me_

_Burned so badly_

_I can't figure_

_Why the hate became the passion_

_You've burned me so deeply_

_I can't recover_

_Don't want to recover_

_Burn me. _


	14. Chapter 14

"Do you want to explain what the hell that was all about

Chapter 14

The trip to Helena lasted just about nine hours. Edge and Lita stopped briefly outside Spokane to rest and switch drivers. Lita took the opportunity to sleep the rest of the trip. It was past 10 when they pulled into their hotel home for the next two days. Lita waited in the SUV while Edge headed inside to check them in. She climbed out of the vehicle and began to stretch out the muscles that had cramped after spending the past nine hours in a seat without moving. And Edge, poor baby, had spent most of the trip sleeping off the remainder of his hangover. _Poor fucking baby_, she mused, slightly upset about having to spend the entire first half of the drive essentially alone. That had allowed her mind to wander. And it had wandered to one man in particular, and what would happen when she saw him again. . .

She had hauled their bags from the back when Edge appeared, clutching their room keys in his hand. Together they hauled it up to their room which was on the first floor, right next to the hotel's central complex, complete with pool, hot tub and koi pond. Once he got the door open, Lita happily dove headfirst into the king sized bed. She let out an exhausted moan, perfectly content not to move for the rest of the night. "Aw sweetie. . ." Edge chuckled, dropping down to lay beside her. She pulled one of the pillows under her head and turned so she could see him. Edge pressed closer to her, his hands raising her sweatshirt to expose her lower back. When she felt his knuckles press into aching flesh, she gave a low moan of satisfaction. His hands increased their pressure, moving in wide circular motions over her back. Lita stretched like a cat as he helped bring feeling back into muscles that had been sitting far too long. He continued to work on her for a long while, stopping only when the skin on her back had turned red from the contact. "Feel better?" he asked, moving to lay back down beside her.

The contented smile on her face told him he had done good. His hand gently curled against her cheek and he grinned at her. The sudden sound of his cell phone ringing somewhere inside his bag caused him to leap out of bed to hunt for it. It rang for several seconds before he finally found the thing and answered it. Lita pulled the comforter tighter around her body. She was _not_ going partying after being on the road for nine hours!

"Hey Chris!" Edge called happily. "How was your drive?" _Chris, probably Jericho_, Lita thought. She could hear the drone of a voice on the other side of the line, but she couldn't make out what it was saying. "Oh really?. . . No, that sounds really good. What's the address?" Lita rolled her eyes. She really, really didn't want to go out tonight. "Great! We'll be there in 20," Edge said, clicking the phone shut. He then bent down to rip the comforter from Lita's grasp as he called, "Get up baby! Chris found us a gym open really late that has a ring!" She wanted to yell, _I don't fucking care_, but then she thought the better of it. _It could be worse. He could ask me to go clubbing or something_, she thought. Edge noticed her hesitation and prodded her gently, saying, "Remember you were bitching a few days ago because you weren't getting any in-ring practice time? Well, here it is." She conceded his point and drug herself from the bed to change into some exercise clothes. Edge did the same, and they were soon on the road.

The address led them to an industrial part of the city, full of dark warehouses and factories. The building they came to was squat, basically a concrete rectangle with no windows and only one door. "_This_ is it?" Lita asked, looking for some sign or anything to indicate what the building actually was. "Must be," Edge said, nodding to a car parked along the street, "That's Chris' car." Edge parked next to Chris and they headed in. Lita wrinkled her nose as the smell of stale man sweat that permeated the entire building. Inside it looked more like a warehouse filled with exercise equipment, the center of which was a regulation sized ring. Chris was sitting on one of the turnbuckles, watching them come in. "Glad you made it!" he called, vaulting from his seated position down to the floor. He and Edge did that weird man chest bump thing that was supposed to be a hug before Chris gave Lita a light squeeze. "Isn't this great?" he asked excitedly. "I made sure none of the other guys found out. Make sure we've got the edge for the show." While the two blonde Canadians climbed into the ring to spar, Lita drifted among the various weight machines, deciding how best to start her workout.

Lita spend probably a good hour going from machine to machine, making sure to give everything a good workout. She watched Edge and Chris out of the side of her eye, watching as they wrestled, working on their techniques. It was getting past 11:15 when Chris announced he was done for the night. Edge, too wired to stop, beckoned to Lita, who was sitting just outside the ring. "Come on babe," he beckoned, pulling his sweaty hair back with one hand, reaching out to her with the other. "Are you volunteering to be my bitch, then?" she asked coyly as she climbed into the ring. "Whatever you want babe," he panted, his body eager for action. Together they worked on countering moves. Edge patiently put her through the most common moves and finishers used by the Divas, and helped her practice countering each one. He pushed her well past 1:30 in the morning when she was just to damned tired to continue. 

"Oh come on!" he whined, staring at her as she collapsed against one of the turnbuckles. "Hey!" she shouted, her tiredness becoming anger, "who got like three hours of sleep before being awoken by a pack of drunken jackals last night?" she demanded. "Oooh, damn, she got you!" Chris called from across the gym. Edge turned his head just enough to see Chris, who was on the leg press machine. "You know that includes you too, right?" he shot back. "Oh. Right. . ." Chris called, embarrassed, his memories of last night pretty fuzzy as it was.

Edge turned back to Lita and begged, "Please? I want to keep going!" Lita crossed her arms and said, "For the love of God I am not. . ." But the words suddenly left her tongue as she saw Edge crouch down into the corner, his body tightening like a coil about to spring loose. Her mouth went dry as she recognized the setup for his signature spear. "I asked nicely," he warned. All Lita could do was stare in horror as Edge hurtled towards her at full speed. She braced herself for the impact, her heart pounding in fear.

But the crippling pain never came. Instead his arms grabbed her shoulders, pulling her to the mat with him. She landed on top of him, pummeling him with her fists. "You asshole!" she shrieked. "You fucking scared me!" Edge laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes and he hugged her tightly. "Oh come on babe. I'd never spear you," he said softly, his soft gaze helping to ease her anger. Lita looked down at him and her pulse quickened when she realized the position they were in. She was straddling him, her hips sitting directly on top of his. Edge took advantage of this position and pulled her down for a kiss. As her pulse returned to normal, she returned his kisses lightly. She could taste the urgency in his lips, he wanted her to return his embrace with equal fervor. Lita silently thanked the heavens as a loud "Ah-hem!" echoed around the gym. Both wrestlers looked up to see Chris standing near the ring, his face painted with mock outrage. "I know the whole sex in the ring didn't work out first time, but now is not the time to practice!" he said with a stern face.

Lita rolled her eyes as both men burst into laughter. She shoved Edge off her and went over to the corner of the ring where she jumped up and perched on the top turnbuckle. Edge smiled up at her from where he still lay sprawled on the mat. Chris circled the ring, throwing a towel over his neck. "Are you guys done?" he asked, using the end of the towel to wipe the sweat from his face. Lita looked down at Edge, who in turn looked at his watch. "It's getting close to 2," Edge said, climbing back to his feet. "When is call tomorrow. . .or I guess today really." Chris asked, jumping up onto the ring apron. "Lita thought for a moment before she replied, "They've got three or four dark matches before the show. But that doesn't involve any of us, so I suppose it will be around 8, like always." She climbed down from her perch and headed for her bag.

A few minutes later the trio made it outside. The guys hung back a moment as Lita went ahead to Edge's SUV. After a minute she turned around to see the guys talking very intently, their heads pressed close together. Confused, Lita watched them nod their heads like they were agreeing to something before breaking apart. Chris called goodbye to Lita as he made his way to his own vehicle as Edge went to his. Lita watched him, confusion written on her face. "Just what are you two up to?" she asked as Edge tossed his bag in and climbed in the driver's seat. "What makes you think we're up to something?" Edge asked as innocently as he could. Lita was too tired to pry the information from him, so she let it go for now. They drove in silence, Lita's mind flowing over a myriad of thoughts. Later today she would have a match against Maria that shouldn't prove any trouble at all. But with that easy confidence came the nagging doubt that knew victories had been stolen by the underdog many times before.

Once back at the hotel, Lita immediately washed up and climbed into bed. Edge on the other hand, pulled her laptop from its bag and settled down to check his email. She buried herself into the blankets, allowing the tension and tightness in her body to slowly relax as she settled into the covers. The tapping of the keyboard echoed softly around her, like rainfall. "What exactly are you doing?" she asked, reaching over to turn off her bedside lamp. Edge hesitated a minute before looking up at her. "I just wanted to check my email babe. My brother sent me some stuff. You know he's really big into Youtube, he sent me some really funny shit he found." She knew that Christian's jump to the _other_ company had been hard on Edge. Even though Christian was doing very well over there, it still bothered Edge sometimes to be without him. "Just don't be up forever," she said as she finally felt the pull of sleep on her overactive mind. After a while Edge closed the computer and joined Lita.

They slept ridiculously late. Lita didn't even open her eyes until noon. If she hadn't have been so hungry, she probably would have slept longer. She dragged Edge out of bed and they headed out for lunch, and then a few hours in the hot tub. They didn't even bother getting to the arena until after 8. Even then, they weren't the last ones on the roster to arrive.

The first dark match had just started as Lita and Edge headed to their personal dressing room to begin getting ready. They paused briefly at the schedule sheet for tonight's show. She glanced at the schedule sheet quickly, noting her match was second in the show. Aside from the promos were a match between Shelton and RVD, and one other that made her heart beat just a little bit faster. Kane would be taking on Simon Dean in the 3rd match tonight. Right after hers. The main event was a tag match between Randy and Edge vs. Cena and Triple H. She glanced at Edge as he took in the news, going slightly pale. She elbowed him gently in the ribs. "Hey, don't worry. You and Randy are good together. No problem, right?" Edge ran a tense hand through his hair, the wheels in his head turning. After a long moment he turned to her, "Look, with me being in the main event and all, I don't know if going out to the ring with you is the best idea. . ." He paused after he finished, waiting for her reply.

Inwardly she laughed. She had imagined the huge fight that would happen when she told him she wanted to go out alone. She hadn't imagined he'd actually make it easier for her. Putting on her best disappointed face, she sighed, "Sure baby. I understand, I guess You've got a big match. I want you to be able to focus on your match 100." He moved to stand behind her, his hands moving to the back of her neck, which he massaged gently. Under his fingers she felt the faint pink line that was all that remained of her hospital stay a few weeks ago. "Look baby," he continued, "I promise next week when I don't have a match I'll be able to come down with you." He quickly pressed a kiss to her neck before he said, "Hey, I need to find Chris for a minute. I'll be right back," She gave her okay as he headed out the door.

Once she was alone, she took the chance to center herself, to focus entirely on her task of defeating Maria. After a few moments she managed to push everything out of her head except for one lingering thought. Would Kane seek her out, like he had done last week? Outside she could hear people walking through the corridors, and she found herself holding her breath, wondering if the next person would be him. . . She waited one anxious moment before she shook herself out of it. She turned her mind away from him, telling herself, _I'll worry about it when he actually gets here_. She took the opportunity to change into her outfit for the night, black cargo pants with plenty of hardware and a pink and black tank top that was stamped with a small Rated R symbol between her shoulder blades. She watched herself in the mirror and threw her hair back. The Rated R symbol was covered, allowing Lita to feel rebellious, a bit more like her old self.

Lita was in the process of finishing with her knee brace when the dressing room door burst open with a loud bang as Edge hurled himself into the room. He immediately pressed back against the door, slamming it shut, panting as he turned the lock. "What the hell is going on out there?" she asked, watching as he pulled his long hair out of his face. "They've got merchandise for us to sign," he panted, his face flushed and tense. "Everyone is getting hit. They just gave Trish 1,000 posters to sign. Randy and Chris got hit with 500 plaques. They're getting everyone." Lita hung her head and moaned in frustration. One of the most dreaded tasks every wrestler faced was the demand for merchandise that came with a rise in popularity. Managers from the company would come down to the arena with stacks of photographs, posters, plaques and all kinds of crap for wrestlers to sign so they could be hawked over the website. It was extremely tedious work with no immediate payoff. Lita knew she could sign10,000 posters and never see a rise in her pay check.

Lita cursed softly as Edge continued, "I heard they've got 500 photos for me, and 1,000 for you," he said, pulling a few things from his bag. "Shit. . ." Lita muttered, quickly analyzing the situation in her head: there was no way she would be able to avoid being handed her lot. If they were smart, they would catch her near the gorilla before or after her match. Edge was in the same boat. He sat down on the bench and asked her, "We're screwed, aren't we?" He knew as good as she did there was no way out. She stood, finally dressed and reached for her hairbrush. "Are you sure you're going to be alright with me not coming to your match?" he asked softly as he watched her brush out her hair. She sat down the brush and moved over to where Edge sat. She bent low enough to afford him a nice view of her cleavage as she mused, "I'm a big girl Edge. I can handle my own matches once in a while." She smiled at him confidently before she added, "You should get together with Randy. Cena and Hunter may not like each other, but they work well together. You guys should get everything in order so nothing goes wrong out there."

Edge wrapped his arms around her waist for a moment before he nodded his head. "You're right babe. The Rated R Couple needs two wins tonight." He smiled up at her confidently, and she returned the gesture. She could feel the energy in his body as he got up and slung his gear bag over his shoulder. The door had just settled closed behind him when Lita heard a woman call, "Ah, Edge! We've got some photographs for you to sign for !" Lita covered her mouth to hide her laugh as Edge whined in protest. "Hey, oh, sorry. I don't think now is a good time." The voice said again, "You've got a week to do it. Why don't you go ahead and take them now?" Edge shot back, "Oh, yeah, well. . ." he struggled, searching for words, "I don't have a pen!" Lita shook her head sadly at Edge's naiveté, predicting the woman's next words: "Oh, but I have five! You can borrow one." Lita quietly laughed as she sat down to pull on her knee brace.

Once the contraption was on, she decided to hold off on warm-ups for a while and do a little roaming through the arena. In the gorilla she peeked into the area, which was about half full as one of the dark matches was winding up. She gazed out at some of the fans, who were already holding up their posters. She looked for a 'Lita' sign, but wasn't able to see any. At least not yet. As 9:00 grew nearer, Lita picked out a small alcove just off the main corridor of the arena to do her warm-ups. Unlike the dressing room, this area was isolated, and most importantly it was quiet. She took a good half hour to center herself, pushing away all her thoughts by concentrating on the silence. Once she was calm, she began a lengthy stretching routine that would help keep her from being injured unnecessarily. Some wrestlers weren't big on warming up, and it showed in their frequency of injuries. She had been unfortunate to suffer some devastating injuries in her career, but she had driver herself to come back from each one. She refused to let her weak body from keeping her from doing what made her happy. The seriousness of several of her injuries had given her a nickname backstage that bothered her even more than being called a slut: they called her 'injury prone.'

She allowed the anger over her backstage nickname to drive her excitement and energy for the match. It was 9:20 when she was finished, nearly time for her match. She made her way to the gorilla, which was mostly empty, save for arena staff and Josh, who was tucked inside his sound studio cubicle. On a large monitor hooked up to the wall, Lita watched as RVD and Shelton finished their match, Rob getting the win with a Five Star Frog Splash. A moment later he came through the curtains, all smiles. He winked at Lita as he passed, on his way to the showers. Lita smirked and shook her head at him. He had just disappeared around the corner when Shelton came back, rubbing his neck, a decidedly unhappy look on his face. Once he'd gone, she turned to Josh, who was busy making sure all the entrance themes he needed were loaded and ready to go. He smiled when he saw Lita. "How is everything?" he asked, glancing behind her to see if Edge was lurking. "Good, really good," she said leaning against the walls of his cubicle. "Are we still sticking with Edge's theme, or are we doing something. . .different?" he asked, a sneaky grin on his face. She shook her head and said, "Not quite. Maybe in a few weeks." He didn't press the issue, only nodded his head in understanding.

With Josh watching, she withdrew two pieces of fabric from her pocket. She carefully pulled them on, over her wrists and down onto her forearms. Josh gave her an odd look, not understanding the point. Lita shot him a devilish smile as she turned her arms, revealing the 'Lita' logo stitched onto each one. Josh bobbed his head, approving of her silent statement. After a moment one of the show managers came out, barking orders to someone through their headset. He spotted Lita and said, "Great. Lita, make your entrance in 30 seconds," before returning to his headset. Her heart began to pound. It was time to go.

At heart she knew she would never tire of it, though her body might emphatically disagree. She would stand in one corner, her opponent in another. She would finally be alone, fending for herself, not relying on another for salvation. She would make sure everyone tonight knows that she could be successful without the help of the Rated R boyfriend. While most of the other Divas wouldn't have taken a match against Maria seriously, Lita took this one very seriously. Even if winning wouldn't be too hard, she was determined to show that she could put on a good performance during any match, easy or hard. She stood just outside the curtains, waiting as the opening of Edge's music blared out into the arena. At the right moment she burst through the cloud of mist and strode down to the ring, her steps powerful, her expression confident. She slid into the ring and took a moment to gaze around her, the time not yet right for her old ring attitude. Nobody in the crowd really cheered, most either booed or was silent.

A moment later Maria's upbeat music came on, and young, beautiful and woefully inexperienced Diva pranced her way to the ring. She jumped in and hopped onto one of the turnbuckles, blowing kisses to the crowd as Lita rolled her eyes. Maria paused a moment to pull off her hand made ring jacket before taking her place opposite Lita in the ring. Raw energy was pulsing for Lita's body, waiting to be released. The ref moved between them and motioned for the bell. As soon as Lita heard the chimes, she rushed at Maria, connecting with a huge clothesline, slamming the petite Diva onto the mat. Maria clutched at her neck, moaning in pain as Lita stood over her, daring her to get up. Lita kicked her in the side, taunting her to get up. The ref began yelling at Lita, who relented and stepped back.

With liberal help from the ropes, Maria managed to stand. While she was still wobbly, Lita bent down slightly, lowering her face to Maria's. Turning away slightly, she motioned for Maria to hit her. The other Diva glared at her, balling up her fists. Lita motioned again and was caught completely off guard as Maria, showing remarkable flexibility, high kicked Lita in the side of the head. Lita crashed back onto the match, her vision blurred and her head pounding. The roar of the crowd filled her senses as she tried to put herself back together. She was vaguely aware of Maria standing at the edge of the ring celebrating, instead of capitalizing on her gain. After a moment Lita scrambled to her feet and flew at Maria with a cry of fury. Both tumbled to the mat, Maria struggling to shove Lita off as she grabbed Maria's head between her hands and furiously began to pound her head against the mat. The crowd began to cheer louder as the ref rushed over, yelling for Lita to stop. She ignored him for just a moment, not stopping until the second before she'd be disqualified.

Maria was sufficiently stunned, allowing Lita to puller her up and apply a full font facelock The crowd cheered louder; they knew what was coming. She let out a fierce cry, motioning to the crowd. They erupted into cheers as she dropped Maria to the mat in a powerful Twist of Fate. Lita rolled slightly away from Maria's limp body, taking only a brief moment to catch her breath. The ref glanced at her expectantly, waiting for her to make the cover. She could feel the tension in the arena, everyone was waiting on her to capitalize on her finisher. Instead Lita went for the unexpected. She rolled the limp Maria onto her back and knelt on top of her before rolling them both over into a rear naked choke. Maria suddenly burst back to life, squealing and flailing her arms. Only a few seconds later her arms beat furiously on the mat, the ref ready and waiting to call for the bell. The crowd erupted into cheers as Lita let go, allowing Maria to slump back against the mat. Lita heard Lillian announce her as the winner as she paused only to give one confident smirk to the cameras before jogging back up the ramp as the ref peeled Maria from the mat. The crowd, unsure of Lita's status as heel or face, cheered for, if not Lita, then a good match.

Lita pulled back the main curtain and was greeted by a small crowd of wrestlers and Divas who were clustered around the main backstage television that showed the action in the ring. As soon as she appeared, all eyes went to her. Everyone was silent as she accepted a small towel from one of the arena staff. "What?" she asked innocently, trying to hide her excitement. She was starting to rebuild her reputation as a wrestler again. Several of the wrestlers offered congratulations, while she received a hard look from Cena, who she knew had a thing for little Maria. Trish was standing nearby with Victoria, who were both glaring at Lita as she brushed by them, not looking back to acknowledge their harsh stares.

Proud of her performance, she strode down the hallway to one of the smaller men's locker room. The door was partially propped open and she could see Randy and Edge already dressed, in deep discussion of strategy. Edge glanced up briefly and spotted her, cutting off his conversation to cross the room and sweep her into a hug. "Hey babe," he laughed happily, "I saw that out there! You did really well." She reached up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Told you I'd be okay on my own," she said turning to leave. He smiled and shook his head at her as she tossed a "Good Luck," as she turned the corner.

When she arrived back at her dressing room, the first thing she set off to do was take off her knee brace. Showering would have to wait for a while; all the Divas were probably swooning over poor Maria and cursing Lita. She figured she'd done enough to Maria for one night and resolved to stay away until they were gone. She dropped onto one of the benches to remove her knee brace when she noticed her bag wasn't lying on the shelf she'd left it on. The bag, and all it's contents had been strewn in one of the corners, like someone had been rifling through it. She quickly whipped her head around to make sure nobody was hiding in the small room before she cautiously approached the mess. The entire bag had been emptied, even the contents of the pockets had been tossed carelessly about. Her mind went over a list of people with a bone to pick with her. One of the Divas she was going to face? Someone who was pissed at Edge? A rabid fan? Kane? She dwelled on that last option as she began to repack her bag.

_Is he mad? Did he find the pictures and get angry? Is this some kind of warning?_ She asked herself, making sure nothing had been taken. After a few minutes she was fairly sure all her things were still there when she picked up her book she'd been trying to read. A small piece of paper fluttered from it, landing near her foot. Confused, she picked it up. It wasn't something of hers. . . She turned the paper over and saw four words scrawled in messy handwriting: **You Better Watch Out**. She whipped her head around again, making sure she was really alone**. **Satisfied nobody was there, she crumpled up the paper and laughed. _Somebody's stupid attempt at intimidation_, she through, tossing the balled up paper into a small trash can. There were far better ways to get points made.

Determined not to let the threat get to her, she reached up to turn on the television that would let her watch the rest of the show. The screen flickered to life and Lita sat down on the bench, lying back with her arm pillowing her head. She watched as the little pest Simon Dean made his way up the ramp, a bag slung over his shoulder that probably held his protein shakes and other crap he was trying to hawk. She felt her heart beat a little faster as she waited for his opponent to come to the ring. Dean had enough time to get a microphone before The arena suddenly went black, the ring lights changing to a blood red hue. The familiar chords of Kane's music sent shivers up her spine as she watched him stalk to the ring. As the camera shot a close up of his face, she could see something different there. Usually he looked pretty stoic for a typical match like this, but now Lita could see something hungry in his eyes. It made her nervous.

Kane climbed into the ring, clearly ready to start the match. But Dean had other plans. Lita groaned and put her hands over her eyes as Dean began to chastise Kane for his physique, offering his wide array of products to help him shape up, "So you can look like me!" Dean said, a confident smirk on his lips. He even went so far as to open some jar of protein powder up to show Kane the contents. "He's going to fucking kill you, you moron," she said, almost feeling sorry for Dean as Kane's face grew angry. The powder suddenly went flying in a huge arc as Kane's hand shot out to catch Dean by the neck. Lita and everyone in the crowd erupted into cheers, glad at least to have the fitness freak shut up. Dean immediately began to struggle as the ref quickly called for the bell to be rung.

Kane immediately hoisted Dean high into the air and brought him down into a huge choke slam. The crowd roared as the sound of Dean's body smacking the mat echoed through the arena. But instead of covering Dean for the pin, Kane seized him roughly by the arm and slung the man over his shoulder and into position for a Tombstone Piledriver. The cheers of the crowd intensified as Lita shuddered, her memory of her own Tombstone clear in her mind. Dean hit the ground with a loud crack, limp a noodle. Kane dropped down for the cover and three seconds later the match was over. Kane's music rang out again and the crowd cheered for him all the way up the ramp.

Usually the torment of both of his finishers were saved for his most hated opponents. Lita knew as well as anyone that Kane didn't have to dismantle Dean the way he did. He was sending a message to someone. Silently he told someone that he should be feared. Who that was, she had no idea. In his eyes she had seen it, something had driven him to be so ruthless. Sufficiently nervous now, she grabbed her bag and headed out into the hallway. She didn't particularly feel like being alone anymore. She just rounded a corner when she nearly crashed into a young man in a business suit who was burdened with several boxes. She stepped back as he came perilously close to loosing some of the boxes. When he got everything back under control, he looked at her and his eyes lit up. "Oh, Lita!" he cried. "I've got some items for you from ." He set all the boxes down and located one that was scrawled with her name. "I'm so glad I found you. I've got to get these boxes out tonight. I've been having so much trouble finding all you guys." Lita noticed some of the names on the boxes: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, Randy Orton, among others. She silently wished the kid good luck on _that_ wild goose chase.

He handed her a box and said, "There's uh, 1,000 8x10s for you to autograph. You can do your name, or 'love Lita,' but they're all got to be the same. Okay?" She peeked inside the box to see which photo of her they were using. She pulled one out and waved it at the young man. "Is there anyone I can talk to about the choice of photos?" To her disappointment it was a random shot of her rolling around the beach in a bikini. "Um, no. I don't know about that. All I do know is we need them back in a week, you know, before we head overseas."

_Overseas? What the hell is he talking about?_ And then it hit her. Her frustrated curses echoed down the hall as she wanted to hit herself for her stupidity. The entire company was taking off on a three week tour of several European countries. She bemoaned her stupidity, remembering Edge telling her he'd booked the hotel rooms over there. And she didn't even have her passport! She was still mentally cursing herself as she pulled out her phone and called her brother to have him FedEx some of her stuff up, like her passport and some heavier clothes.

Now, feeling quite embarrassed, Lita found a large equipment storage box parked in the hallway, which overlooked the gorilla. She climbed onto the lid and made herself comfortable. She pulled out her Ipod and put on something loud and hard to distract herself. She adjusted slightly so her hair fell over the edge of the bin, hanging down like a crimson curtain. She reached up and began to run her hands through it in soothing motions. She did this for a long moment before she felt the presence of someone nearby. She opened her eyes, looking down the hall at whoever it was.

Her heart nearly quit beating when she saw Kane hurrying down the hall in his street clothes, his bag slung over his shoulder. She gazed at him, her eyes desperate, pleading for him to say something, to acknowledge what she'd done. But he didn't even glance at her. His eyes were focused directly ahead of him and nowhere else. It was almost like he was determined not to look at her. She stared after him, completely confused. She didn't turn away until after he disappeared down another hallway.

All she managed to think was: _What the fuck?_ It hurt inside, to see him ignore her, like he hadn't found her notes at all. She didn't even want to think that he'd found them and hated them, hated her for invading his privacy again. She quickly got a hold of her emotions and pretended like she'd hardly even noticed him walk by. The last thing in the world she needed was for someone to see her staring after him and think that something was going on. She rolled up onto her knees and began to rub her temples with her fingers. Already she could feel a headache brewing. Nagging thoughts raced through her head, trying to rationalize the whole damn situation with Kane.

_Why wasn't it like this before? Why do I long to be with him whenever he's not around? I use to wish he was gone every time he came near me. I wanted to scream whenever he touched me. Why do I tremble when he touches me now? Why do I feel like I want to die every time he looks at me? Why did it all have to change? I had my choice, and it seemed pretty damn obvious which way I should go. When did everything get so fucked up? It was so easy to hate him before. Why is it so hard now? _

She was so preoccupied with her thoughts of Kane she didn't even bother to go and watch Edge's match.

**I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to take so long to put this chapter up. Moving, unemployment and comps have all played a part in the lateness of this chapter. But don't worry. The next chapter is nearly done, so it won't be long! **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Two weeks passed in the blink of an eye. After Raw had ended, Lita and Edge headed for his home in Deerfield where they rested for two days and packed up for Europe. Lita spent most of their downtime sleeping; trying to fight off the general malaise that signaled she was about to get really sick. By the time they boarded their plane for London, she had a full blown head cold, that the pressure changes in the air did nothing to help. As much as she wanted to take a few days to stop and rest, the relentless tour of the British Isles had kept her at appearance after appearance, house show after house show. The overseas tours always ran everyone ragged, and Lita was feeling it particularly hard. The next week's Raw was in Glasgow, a beautiful city that Lita managed to appreciate from the window of Edge's rental car on the short drive to the arena. Even as her cold had intensified, Lita fought it as best she could with medicine, trying to keep it at bay long enough to win her handicapped match. Even though she felt like crap, she managed to put on a happy face as she made her way out to the ring.

She crouched in the far corner of the ring, watching as Maria and Torrie made their way to the ring. Lita smirked when she saw that Torrie had left the little dog behind this time, clearly learning her lesson from the first time. Both women had revenge on their pretty little faces. Lita's sickness momentarily forgotten as she felt her heart beat faster, her body tensing for action. The other two Divas had just climbed in the ring when a burst of music from the Titantron caused everyone's head to whip in that direction. Lita couldn't help but groan as the Chairman's smug face appeared on the screen. There were several boos from the audience while Torrie and Maria looked at each other in confusion.

"Now ladies," he said with a sly grin, "I need to interrupt you for a moment. No, don't worry. You'll still be having your match tonight. And I wish you all the best of luck at that. But I needed to say something to . . . Lita." More boos from the crowd erupted as Lita stared at the screen, a scowl on her face. "Now Lita, I've come up with a new stipulation to make your next few matches here interesting," he said, an evil gleam in his eyes. She felt her heart clutch. _What is this sick bastard up to now?_ "I've decided," he continued, "That if you loose any of your scheduled matches, _you're fired_." As his Donald Trump like sneer echoed through the arena, Lita swallowed the knot that had suddenly formed in her throat. Torrie and Maria turned towards her, devilish grins on their faces. "Have a good match ladies!" Vince called, before the screen faded and the bell was rung.

Fear is the most powerful motivator of all. The next thing Lita remembered, she was backstage again, her body tense with anxiety, her hands shaking and her breath heaving. Wrestlers standing nearby were staring at her, giving her a wide berth. _How the hell did I get back here? Did I win?_ From down the hallway, someone called, "Lita!" She turned to see Edge running towards her, already dressed for his match tonight, his leather coat trailing behind him. He grabbed Lita by the elbow and led her away from the gawking stares of the others. When they were out of sight, he stared at her incredulously. "What the hell was that out there?" She looked at him with genuine confusion in her eyes. "I don't remember," she said, "I remember Vince's new stipulation, but. . .that's it." Edge seized her hand and thrust it at her face. "Do you remember this?" She was horrified to find blood smeared over her knuckles. "Are you telling me you don't remember breaking Torrie's nose?" he said, watching horror grow in her eyes as she tried to rub the blood off on the concrete wall. "Really?" she asked, her eyes wide as saucers, not really believing that she'd been so violent. "Yeah, right before you pushed Maria off the top turnbuckle and took Torrie out with a Litacarrana." She closed her eyes, desperately searching her mind for any memory of the last six minutes of her life. She vaguely remembered Torrie with blood streaming down her face, but that was fuzzy at best.

"You were like an animal out there. I'd expect you to give that kind of a beating to Trish, but geeze, did you have to be so harsh on the bimbo and the ditz?" Edge asked, guiding her back to their dressing room. Lita ducked into a small bathroom nearby and quickly scrubbed the blood off her hands. She hadn't meant to seriously hurt Torrie. All she wanted was to win, to keep going, not only for her title shot, but for her career. She would be damned if Torrie Wilson was the one to end her career. Her seeming animalistic frenzy had taken her completely over, unleashing everything she could on her unsuspecting opponents.

Once she and Edge were alone in his dressing room, she felt a huge sudden rush of her sickness catching up on her, sucking out all the energy that had been coursing through her body a few minutes before. She watched him fold up his jacket as he led her to the small couch in the room. He told her to lie down, handing her the jacket for a pillow. "After that, I think it would be best if I just went out by myself tonight," he said, stroking the hair away from her face. She nodded, the pull of sleep already making her vision fade. She fell asleep so quickly, she barely remembered him kissing her goodbye when he left.

It was past 11:30 when he woke her up. She did so with a start, vaulting off the couch in surprise. He was already showered and dressed, his bag packed. She looked at him oddly before she asked, "How was your match?" Edge shook his head as he laughed. "It was going fine until that little bitch Cena decided to interrupt and got me DQed." Lita winced, regretting she hadn't been there to help when he needed her. She went over to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "I'm sorry I wasn't out there with you," she said, pressing a small kiss to his neck. He gave her a quick hug and then let her go. "Don't worry about it. You needed a break," he said, picking up his gear bag. "Why don't you get dressed, and we'll go back to the hotel?" he asked, Lita realizing she was still wearing all her ring gear. Lita sat down to quickly remove her wrestling boots and knee brace while Edge headed out to the parking lot to wait. She dressed as comfortably as she could, tossing all of her things into her bag and closed up their dressing room.

The hall was mostly empty, save for a few arena guys packing away cables and equipment. She slung her bag over her shoulder and paused, trying to remember which exit she needed to used. Unsure, she headed to her right, walking down a long hallway that was cluttered with pipes running along the walls and huge boxes of WWE production stuff. She walked for a long while, passing two exits that weren't the one she needed. About a hundred yards off she spotted another exit that looked familiar enough to be the right one, when another person emerged from another hallway that bisected hers. The man was walking so fast they nearly didn't see her, she had to take a step back just to avoid getting crushed. She was about to say something rude to the man when he turned and glared at her.

Lita's mouth went dry as Kane stared down at her, his face suddenly hardening, his eyes cold. For a brief moment they stood together, Lita searching his eyes for some clue of his mood. He made to move away as Lita quickly scrambled for something to say. "No! Please wait. . . I wanted. . uh. . ." Before she had time to form a coherent sentence, Kane had turned away and quickly headed out, shoving open the exit doors that crashed closed after him. As the sound echoed through the hall, Lita stared at where he had just been, completely bewildered and hurt by his actions. Was he mad at something she had done? The cold look in his eyes hurt the most. Recently, in the few precious moment's they'd had together, his eyes had been so gentle and betrayed the smile that his lips wouldn't form. But she didn't know what to make of those eyes now that they were devoid of kindness.

Outside, Edge was already waiting in his Land Rover, his eyes trained to her as she slowly made her way over and climbed inside. He watched her warily, unsure of how to take her behavior tonight. He knew that Lita was extremely talented and could deliver a cruel punishment in the ring. But he hadn't seen that kind of brutality in her before. Now, as he drove them back to their hotel, she looked defeated and worn. He knew she was sick, and she looked like she wasn't getting any better. The pressure of the European tour and the stress of her matches and Vince's new stipulation were bearing down hard on her. He worried about her, wondering what, if anything, he could do to make her better.

Three Days Later

Lita's battle against her sinus infection was rapidly becoming a lost cause. Even as she diligently took a plethora of pills every few hours, they had thus far done her no good. Every passing day brought some new symptom, some new ache that added to her misery. Had she been at home, she would have been at the doctor's office a week ago, but being so far away from home left her with few options. As she grew worse and worse, she stubbornly refused to go to a foreign hospital. She'd have to be carried in before she went voluntarily. She had noticed that Edge was going out of his way not to touch her. It wasn't as if she could blame him. She wouldn't wish this on her worst enemies. Well, maybe not _all_ of her enemies. . .

Their flight from London to Barcelona finally presented the chance Edge needed to make his move. They had just disembarked when he led her to a quiet part of the terminal. As he bought her a coffee, he chose his words carefully. And then he broke it to her, with typical callousness and self-centeredness: 

"I hate how sick you've been. I wish I could do something to make you feel better. You just aren't getting any better, and I don't know what to do. So. . . I think you ought to get your own hotel room." He rushed out the last sentence and paused, waiting while his words sank in. He saw the spark of anger in her eyes, and he quickly added: "At least until you're better. I know you'd feel really bad if you gave all that to me. I can't afford to get sick, you know? I mean, I'm the Rated-R Superstar. How am I going to work my way back to a title shot if I come down with whatever you have? Its for the best. I promise I'll check up on you every day." He gazed down at her with large green puppy dog eyes, trying to make it seem like this was best for both of them. She felt like punching him. She actually considered it for a moment before she heaved a deep sigh of defeat. _In the end there is only one person Edge watches out for, and that person is Edge_, she thought sadly.

He prodded her again, gently. "Don't you see babe? Everything works out best this way. You can concentrate on getting better, while I can concentrate on my matches. Right?" Lita coughed into a tissue and then slowly nodded. "Sure. Whatever you think is best," she said flatly, unwilling to argue over it. His face lit up with happiness and he kissed the top of her hand. "Great, babe. Trust me, everything will be just fine. Why don't you call the hotel so they can get you a room. I'm going to head on over there." Lita gawked at him, unbelieving what he had just said. He completely missed, or ignored the anger in her expression as he hurriedly collected his bags and kissed the top of her head. He was already walking away when he called, "Remember, I'll check on you every day! Whatever you need, hot tea, chicken soup, tissues, I'll get it."

"Gee, thanks babe," she muttered, rummaging though her bag for her phone and the hotel's phone number. A few minutes later the concierge confirmed Lita's fears in pleasantly accented English. There wouldn't be any more rooms ready for at least three hours. Lita consoled herself by cursing Edge for a while, until she got bored. Frustration quickly set in. She was aching for sleep, something that was made virtually impossible by the uncomfortable terminal seats. The longer she thought about what the coming two weeks would bring, she became more and more depressed. She wasn't afraid to travel alone in Europe, she'd done it before. But to be alone, and sick made the prospect miserable. She didn't even want to think about the house shows and autograph sessions she was going to have to go to, alone. If Edge couldn't afford to get sick, neither could Lita. Especially with Vince's new little nail in her tire.

"God, what an asshole," she said, unable to properly express how much she loathed her boss. She should have known that Vince wasn't handing her a title shot because he believed in her, or some such crap. It was all about ratings. Get people to watch. '_Ooh, let's see if Lita gets fired tonight_.' It was only by the grace of God that Mickie James had twisted her ankle and would be out of commission for a few weeks, delaying their match a few weeks and giving Lita the rest she desperately needed.

Lita twisted herself slightly in her seat, curling her knees up to her chest. The aches in her body were only heightened as she sat there, her head pounding with a migraine and her sinuses filled with tremendous pressure. After a while her coffee went cold, but she continued to clutch the cup, as though it gave her something to focus on. The force of just how lonely she really was came rushing to the front of her mind as it was now painfully clear that she had no one to depend on aside from Edge. All of the Divas hated her and the guys all thought she was a traitor and a slut. She had zero locker room alliances, meaning there would be nobody to help her when she needed it.

She'd even lost the fragile connection she'd shared with Kane. She couldn't figure out exactly what happened, but she had angered him, and now he was avoiding her much the same was as Edge was. The mere thought of him, and the way he'd looked at her with those cold eyes a few days ago was enough to bring tears to her eyes. _I was so stupid. . .thinking that a few nice moments together make up for all the shit we put each other through. God, he must have laughed his ass off when he saw those pictures. How stupid am I? No wonder he doesn't want to be around me. I pushed it too far and now he wants nothing to do with me._ She could remember time after time, all the ways they'd hurt each other. Things she'd said, things she'd been forced to say, all of them ate away at her. Tears burned in her eyes as she drug up long buried memories of their worst moments together. But the feeling of his lips caressing hers surged forward, making the bad times fade to the background. The reality that she may never feel that sensation again tore her up inside. Somehow the gentle fire burning between them had been permanently extinguished by something she didn't really understand.

A voice suddenly cut through her hazy thoughts, bringing her back to reality. "God, you look like crap." She looked up to see Matt and Jeff standing over her, their bags slung over their shoulders. Jeff elbowed his brother, scowling at him. "What Matt means," he said, kneeling down to Lita's level, "is 'are you alright?'" The concern in the brother's eyes overwhelmed her. Both of the Hardys watched in confusion as her shoulders began to shake and she buried her face in her hands. Matt immediately dropped his bags and sat in the chair beside her, trying to pry her hands away so he could see her face. "Lita," he asked, alarm in his voice, "what's going on? Are you alright?" She hesitated before answering him. She sat up slightly and gave him a weak smile. Of all the people on the roster, Matt and Jeff still considered her a close friend. But each brother stubbornly refused to hang around Edge, meaning the trio didn't get to see each other much. Seeing them now reminded Lita she had others beside Edge who were concerned for her.

Relieved, Matt reached for her and pulled her into his arms, nestling her head to his. She clung to him as she felt Jeff sit next to them, his arms reaching to embrace her from behind. They hugged her tightly, unsure of what was going on, but unwilling to leave their girl when she needed help. After a long moment she finally said, "I'm so glad to see you guys." Jeff's hands reached to comb gently through her hair as Matt sat back slightly. He examined her face closely, taking in the visual signs of her illness. Knowing Lita as well as he did, he could see something in her eyes, behind the sickness, that was troubling her. "Flu?" he asked simply, not pressing the deeper issues. "Something like that," Lita said as Matt pressed the back of his hand to her forehead.

Jeff commented softly, "Look's like its kicking your ass. . . All I have to ask is where the boyfriend is." She thought about covering for Edge, but then thought the better of it. "Edge doesn't want to catch what I've got, so he graciously decided we should separate until I'm healthy. And the fucking hotel won't have a room ready for me for a few hours," she said, shaking her head bitterly. She could see anger visibly reflected in Jeff's eyes, but even more so in Matt's. She remembered a conversation they had had shared a while ago involving her new choice in a boyfriend. After all the fighting was over, Matt had told her, "I'll tolerate it, so long as he treats you well." By the look on Matt's face now, abandoning her was not what he considered treating her well.

"What a fucking sweetheart," Jeff muttered, shifting in his seat so he could gently rest his head on her shoulder. She reached up to gently finger a lock of his vibrant red and yellow hair as Matt asked, "What hotel is it?" "It's the Hotel Mercier, just right down the street," she said. She wrinkled her brow in confusion when Jeff chucked against her back. "That's real funny," he said, sitting back so she could see the laughter in his eyes, "That's where we're staying." All in all, she wasn't horribly surprised at the coincidence. Most of the wrestlers usually wound up at the same hotel. "Well then, that makes things pretty easy," Matt said, gently palming her chin so he could tilt her face towards his. "You're rooming with us."

She made to protest, but the brothers shushed her. "We take care of our own," Jeff asserted, "You're still as much of a Hardy as you ever were." Matt stood and helped Lita to her feet. He pulled her into a tight hug as she mumbled against his jacket: "I'll feel pretty shitty if I give whatever I've got to you." Jeff threw his arms around the both of them and said, "Aw, hell. That bug aught to know better than to mess with Team Xtreme." Lita laughed, her spirits soaring at the familiar comfort of their family unit. She wasn't even phased when Matt dipped his head and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. Jeff added his own, albeit on her forehead.

Both brothers took up their own luggage, and then divided Lita's between them. She weakly protested as they carried her luggage, leaving her only her small bag. Neither man complained about the extra burden. Together they left the airport, heading for the hotel on foot. As they walked, Lita leaned slightly on Matt, relying on him for support when she felt unsteady.

It was just past 6 when the triad finally arrived at the large hotel building and headed for the Hardys' room. The rooms were not overly large, but had enough room so Lita didn't feel like she was taking up all their space. Exhausted from the walk, she immediately lay down in one of the two beds in the room, allowing the overly fluffy comforter to envelop her. She almost moaned with the pleasure of it as the aches in her body slowly faded into the background. Beside her on the bed, Matt sat down and said, "I don't know about the two of you, but I'm hungry." While Jeff echoed his brother's statements, Lita only feigned interest. When you weren't able to smell or taste your food, eating lost its appeal. As Matt and Jeff busied themselves with a small folder filled with takeout menus, Lita pulled her cell phone from her pocket and turned it off. Even if Edge did call, she didn't want him knowing who had taken her in. She could just imagine the tension between the brothers and her boyfriend if he suddenly appeared to check on her. Part of her didn't expect him to call in the first place.

After a short debate, Jeff headed out to order takeout from a little Italian place they'd passed during the walk to the hotel. Once he'd gone, Matt reached out to gently rub Lita's shoulder. "You know, I never got to tell you I'm really glad you're being given a title shot," he said softly. Lita smiled and gently squeezed his hand. She was about to say something when she was overcome with a fit of violent coughing. It went on for a long moment before she was finally able to take several gasping breaths. "Jesus. . . Are you taking anything for this? You sound awful." Matt said, handing her a tissue.

Lita wiped her mouth and crumpled up the tissue. "I'm taking OTC stuff, but I can't see a doctor until we get back." Matt looked at her oddly and asked, "And they expect you to wrestle in this condition? Couldn't you talk to the trainers?" She shook her head. "What could they do? I've just got to tough it out. How much worse could it possibly get?" A small smile spread on her face. "Besides, it looks like I've been given a reprieve, at least until we get back to the states. You heard about Mickie's ankle, right?" Matt smiled and nodded. Both knew that despite their light tones, her illness was nothing to be taken lightly. If her symptoms persisted through to her next match, her chances of winning in such a state were not good.

Jeff arrived a little while later with the food. He and Matt settled down at the small hotel table and dug into their meal while Lita picked at her own small plate. She ate just enough to please Jeff, who kept glancing over at her to make sure she was indeed eating. But her heart wasn't in it. She put away the remainder and changed into a soft camisole and lounge pants before crawling beneath the sheets, determined not to emerge for as long as she could get away with.

Several days later, despite the dedicated ministrations of the Hardy Boys, Lita had continued to decline. She had skipped a couple of minor appearances in the vain hope of pulling it together in time for the next Raw, but was the no better for it. A very stern phone call from the tour managers made it clear continued no-shows would not be tolerated, sick or healthy. The morning of Raw, Matt and Jeff had woken her early to get ready. By now, on top of all her other ailments, her throat had grown so raw and sore that she was barely able to swallow without intense pain. As she showered and dressed slowly, Jeff silently watched her, keeping his thoughts to himself. If it was up to him, he would have driven Lita to the nearest hospital a long while ago. But she had stubbornly refused to go. Not even Matt had been able to convince her to go. While he hadn't shared the same kind of relationship with her as Matt had, he was able to connect with her in ways that others couldn't. He could see something deep inside that was eating away at her. It was beyond the troubles she had confided in them; she was hiding something that she couldn't even share with them. He couldn't begin to imagine what she was dealing with.

Lita stood before the bathroom mirror, critically examining her appearance. She'd dressed for the show as simply as she could in a white tank top with black cargo pants. Too tired to style her hair, she tied it up in a white bandana, hoping that the bland colors would help to give color to her sickly pale skin. Carefully applied makeup helped to make her look less like the undead, but anyone that bothered to look close enough would be able to see how ill she really looked. All three made sure their gear bags were packed before each brother hooked one of Lita's arms. Together they walked arm-in-arm, mainly to help support Lita, who was so weakened that she had trouble keeping her balance anymore. Matt drove them in his rental car to the arena, Jeff sitting in the backseat with Lita who immediately curled against him. Jeff wrapped his arm around her, noticing she had fallen asleep almost immediately. Though he made no sound, he caught Matt's eyes in the rearview mirror. For a brief moment, Matt and Jeff silently shared their concerns for the ailing Diva. Neither knew what they could do for her anymore.

As Matt pulled the car into the near empty lot for the wrestlers, he found himself focusing, not on his matches, but what tonight would mean for Lita.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Any wrestler who had been on the roster for more than a few years would have been very surprised to see Team Xtreme suddenly walk into the arena, each of the Hardy brothers linking arms with Lita as she walked between them. If said veteran wrestler would have gotten over the initial shock, they would have noticed how the brothers were tightly gripping her arms, their shoulders pressed tight against her for support, her steps faltering between them. Nobody was there to witness this scene, but the brothers made sure that if anyone was to appear, Lita's illness wouldn't be quite so obvious. They moved quickly, Matt directing them to the area of the arena where the dressing rooms were clustered. They entered a hallway lined with doors and huge rolls of thick cables, names of various wrestlers taped to each one.

The triad stopped at the door marked Hardy. Matt briefly let go of Lita to pull open the door, but the thick corroded hinges on the door refused to budge. He cursed lightly at the door as he exerted more effort, the hinges refusing to give into his pressure. He struggled with it for a moment before Jeff let go of Lita to help. With both brothers working on the stubborn door, Lita fell back against the concrete wall, her body too weak to support her weight. She tried to catch her breath from their near-sprint into the arena, but she couldn't bring enough air with her throat so swollen and her sinuses completely blocked. She threw back her head and covered her eyes with her hands as she fought to breathe, forcing herself to calm down and slowly fill her lungs.

After a long moment she brought herself under control and was finally able to take short, pained breaths. She lowered her hands and opened her eyes, only to be met with the last person she wanted to see. Kane's steps faltered, just as surprised to see her as she was to see him. She watched as his eyes swept over her, settling on her eyes. Quickly she turned her head away, forcing herself not to look at him as she felt his gaze fall on her body. Her face burned with embarrassment. She hadn't wanted anyone to see her like this. . . especially him. She squeezed her eyes shut, praying that he would just leave, walk away and ignore her like he had the last few times they'd met. What seemed like an eternity for Lita passed before she dared open her eyes again. Her heart jumped slightly when she saw him still standing there, his gaze focused intently on her, his expression unusually soft. Her heart began beating faster as he watched her a moment longer before turning and disappearing down the main corridor.

She released a pent up breath as Matt and Jeff finally wrenched the door open, completely oblivious that anyone else had been there. Jeff helped Lita into the dressing room as Matt carried in their bags. He led her over to the couch which she sank into immediately, pulling her bandana down over her eyes to shield them from the harsh fluorescent lighting that only helped to intensify her headache. After making sure she was settled, the brothers quietly dressed for their respective matches tonight.

It was still several hours before the show was to begin, but that allowed for ring time for those wrestlers early enough to catch it. Matt finished dressing before his brother and set about another task. He knelt by the couch, carrying several items in his hands. Jeff watched as his brother emptied his water bottle over a small towel he carried, soaking the rough fabric. He folded it into a long rectangle and set it aside for a moment. He reached over to gently grasp her shoulder, shaking her awake. She lifted the edge of the bandana to look at him. "Jeff and I were going to see if we could snag some ring-time before the show gets started. Are you going to be alright on your own?" She nodded silently, moving to replace the bandana. "Hey, wait a sec," he said, picking up the wet towel. He gently placed the cool fabric over her eyes, earning an appreciative sigh from the Diva. "Get some rest Li," he said softly, making sure to switch the lights off as he and Jeff headed out.

After the door clicked shut behind them, Lita released the painful groan that she'd been holding in. But this had nothing to do with being ill. This pain was seated deep in her heart. She couldn't explain why Kane had been avoiding her, looking at her with harsh stares of contempt. She'd done something, said something to make him hate her. And it ate away at her. It probably had been the pictures she'd hidden in his bag, or the poem she'd hastily written. She cursed her actions, wishing she'd never done any of it. Tears blurred her vision as she felt the emptiness left in her soul after Kane left. More than she ever believed possible, she'd come to need him. To see him, touch him, taste him. As her world as the Rated R Diva became more complex and depressing, she needed to have him to remind her that there were good times not so long ago. To have that all, ripped away with out explanation, was more than she could bear.

Hot tears ran down her cheeks that she did not bother to wipe away. Every time she saw him, it only made the pain so much worse. The only good things she had in her life anymore were here 'brothers' Matt and Jeff. She took so much comfort in them now, away in Europe, but she feared what would happen when they returned to the States, to the old routines, and her to Edge. The bastard had only called her twice the entire time. And that bouquet of daises he'd sent? He still left the price attached. _Six Euros, thanks a bunch._ Her thoughts gradually began to muddle, turning into an incomprehensible stream of images as her exhaustion pulled her asleep.

She didn't wake up til the show was half over.

In the corner of the bare dressing room, the television mounted on the wall droned on with the playful banter between JR and Lawler as the show entered its second hour. Lita mostly ignored it, waiting impatiently for Jeff's match to end so she could go home. She pressed the damp towel over her eyes, trying to ease the pressure in her head. Matt's segment was already over, but he hadn't returned to the dressing room yet. He was probably in the gorilla, watching eagerly as Jeff had his match. The sound of Jeff's music over the TV caused her to lift a corner of the cloth so one bloodshot eye could see him dance his way into the arena. A small smile played on her lips as she watched him, his excitement for his match palpable through the screen. She replaced the cloth as Shelton made his way to the ring. She half-listened as the match progressed, silently wishing Jeff would win quickly so they could leave.

A sudden crescendo of voices rose over the television, followed by a piercing scream of pain that was frighteningly real. She jolted up and ripped the cloth from her face in time to see Jeff writhing on the padded arena floor, his face contorted with pain as he clutched his left knee to his chest. Lita gagged when she saw the unnatural way his foot hung from his leg. Her breath caught in her throat as Jeff's painful cries echoed through the television. A small platoon of paramedics rushed to the ring, led by Matt as Shelton stood in the ring, a confused look on his face. Lita watched in horror as they swarmed over the fallen wrestler, whose cries of pain echoed in the room after all other background voices had faded into silent shock.

As Matt and the paramedics carried the Jeff backstage, the television faded to commercial. Jeff's cries of pain however, became real as he was carried through the cavernous hallways on the way to the ambulance bay. She struggled to her feet, desperate to reach the brothers before they left. She stumbled into the hallway, just as the brothers rushed by, surrounded by paramedics and arena staff. She struggled to pull deep breaths into her lungs as she willed her body to follow them. She ignored the throbbing in her head as she forced herself to follow them, her hands groping to give her support as she pursued them.

Lita's heart sank as the paramedics and the brothers turned another corner of the hallway, disappearing from sight. She called after them, but her voice was too weak, too feeble to be noticed. She ran through every curse she knew, worried to death about Jeff as she fell against a huge wooden production equipment box. The exertion of her near sprint had proven too much for her weakened body. She clung to the box, trying to stabilize her body that was trembling with effort to keep her upright. Anyone passing by would have thought she was drunk.

Her eyes burned with tears as she turned back in the direction of the dressing room. Her heart sank as she saw how far away it looked. She tried to steel her resolve, taking in breaths as deep as she could manage. She took a few faltering steps before her ravaged body just let go, sending Lita crashing to the concrete floor with a loud _smack_.

_Owww. . ._ By some small mercy, she hadn't cracked her head open, but her knees and arms stung from the harsh fall. She collapsed onto her stomach, taking the pressure off her damaged limbs. _What the fuck am I going to do? Flag down the next passer-by and ask for help?_ A bitter laugh escaped her as she thought of the delight Trish would have in seeing her opponent in such a state. She managed to roll over, but hissed in pain as the bright lights assaulted her eyes. She covered them with her fists, trying to keep herself under control in a situation that was becoming more desperate by the minute. A low moan escaped her lips as the pounding in her head reached a crescendo.

_Oh God please. . . _

"Lita!"

Lita's thoughts froze as a harsh voice cut through her mind. She had to be imagining it. _No, no, no. . ._ Anyone but him. Anyone but Kane. She tried to curl in on herself, as if she could somehow make herself so small that he wouldn't see her lying there. "Open your eyes," he commanded. She felt his large rough hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look up at him. He brushed back the hair from her face so he could get a good look at her.

Her skin was so unnaturally pale it frightened him, her eyes red and unfocused as her temperature burned hotly against his hand. He knew she'd been sick for a little while, but he had no idea she'd let it get this out of control. Even he could see rise and fall of her chest that showed the short, gasping breaths she was forced to take. Lita couldn't help but stare up at him as he carefully wrapped his arms around her back and shoulders to gently hoist her to her feet. She felt like her brain was sloshing around in her skull when she was finally upright. But her balance had not yet caught up with her, and she found herself falling against him, his arms seizing her quickly to prevent her from hitting the floor again.

A soft moan escaped Lita's lips as he held her tightly. "Oh God. . ." Part of her was so unbelievably overjoyed to see him, to have him touch her again. But another part was completely devastated as she felt the embrace that he'd withheld from her for some damnable reason. "Can you walk?" he asked, his voice gruff. Horribly embarrassed, Lita shook her head. He said nothing before gently scooping her into his arms. "We're going to the hospital," he said. It wasn't a suggestion.

She buried her head against his chest as he turned back down the hallway. She barely noticed as he retrieved her bag from the locker room before carrying her out into the arena parking lot. Lita had her eyes closed tightly, trying to keep her pounding head from getting any worse. They reached his rental, Kane carrying her around to the passenger side, where he wrenched open the door to help her climb in. As soon as she was settled, he got into the driver's seat and quickly started the vehicle. He sped out of the parking lot at the same time as an ambulance tore out of the area, it's lights ablaze and siren screaming.


	17. Chapter 17

I convinced myself that what I was doing was for the best

Chapter 17

In the small, dim room, illuminated only by the doctor's computer screen, Kane sat hunched over in an armchair far too small for a man of his size. His fingers gently caressed the skin of Lita's hand that wasn't covered by the IV embedded in her flesh. Exhaustion ate away at him, but he was too anxious, too wired to be bothered by the needs of his body. His gaze was locked to Lita's face, waiting for the first sign that she would be waking up. But for the same as the last three hours, Lita lay deathly still, her eyes tightly closed. Silently he begged for her forgiveness.

_I need you to open your eyes and tell me everything will be okay. _

_I need you to forgive me. _

_I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was trying to protect you. But I fucked up, like always. _

_I've never put my faith in doctors, but now I'm depending on a stranger to take care of you as I failed to do. _

But for now, as had been for the past few hours, her eyes remained tightly closed, the only portion of her body visible beneath the thin white hospital blanket. She was curled up on the low hospital bed, in the cramped room, dead asleep. The powerful drug cocktail coursing through her veins was slowly working, fighting off the infection that had felled her. She'd been knocked out by the drugs, mostly to help her body catch up in a battle it was currently loosing. It would probably be out a few more before the drugs would allow her to regain consciousness.

The click of the door handle quickly snapped Kane back to reality as a shaft of light flooded into room. Kane noticed where he was laying and quickly got up, moving back to the uncomfortable armchair across the room. Doctor Pauls entered silently, the swishing of his cotton scrubs were the only sound in the room as he placed Lita's charts on the small work desk. After switching on the small desk lamp, he glanced at Kane and asked softly, "Has there been any change yet?" Kane clenched his jaw as he answered tersely, "Not yet." The doctor nodded, making a note on one of the sheets in her chart. Kane watched him warily. He'd never trusted doctors, but he had been forced to grudgingly put his faith in this one. There had been a fair bit of confusion when he'd first brought Lita in, it had taken several minutes to locate an ER doctor who spoke English. It didn't help that the doctor looked like he was fresh out of med school, but there really was no other option.

Dr. Pauls finished his notes and looked up at Kane. "Well, it has been nearly four hours, she should be coming around sometime in the next hour. I've already made arrangements with the hospital pharmacy to get her enough medicine to hold her over until you all can get back to the states. She'll need to see her own doctor for follow-ups. I've already faxed over her chart and everything she'll need." He paused, taking a moment to stifle a yawn and run his hand through his close cropped black hair. "Speaking of a follow-up, did you want me to look at your hands?"

Confused, Kane looked down at his hands. _Why would I need a follow-up for my hands?_ The ten small half-moon shaped cuts stared up at him and he almost smiled at the memory of how he got them. . .

"_Three?" she cried, her voice near hysterical. The doctor paused an awkward moment and said, "Uh. . .yes?" Lita threw back her head like she wanted to cry. Kane watched her terrified expression, knowing what was coming. He'd seen it before. "But don't you have a pill or something?" As the young doctor tried to explain the rationale of certain drugs needing certain delivery methods, Kane grabbed her hands, pulling her up from the edge of the bed to her feet. Momentarily startled enough to forget her fear, she allowed Kane to pull her close and wrap his arms around her. Before she had a moment to protest, he grabbed the thin strap of her tank top and pulled it down, exposing the gentle curve of her neck. He pressed a hot kiss to the sensitive spot that she loved, temporarily relaxing her. He left a trail of kisses up her neck, along the side of her face until he reached her ear. He bent his head close and whispered, "Just ten seconds. . . Let him do this for ten seconds and you'll get better." As he spoke to her, he winked at the doctor who was watching intently. Realizing his chance when he saw it, the doctor quickly snapped on his gloves and gently eased down her pants just enough to reach the area he needed. Lita shivered in Kane's arms as the doctor swabbed the area with alcohol, knowing full and well what was coming. She closed her eyes tightly and grabbed both of his large hands as the doctor began the first injection. Kane watched her expression intently as she counted the micro-seconds until her ordeal was over. He felt stinging sensations all over his hands but ignored it. As quickly as he could, the doctor finished the second and third injections. "All done," he said cheerfully. Lita sourly hiked her pants back up as Kane guided her back to the bed. Once she was comfortable, he pulled the thin white blanket up over her shoulders. Only then had he glanced down at the damage her nails had inflicted on his hands. He managed to stifle his curse, but just barely. _

The doctor spoke again, bringing Kane back to reality. "Did you want some antiseptic for those cuts?" Kane silently shook his head. "Alright, well just remember to wash them often. Now, about her medicines. . ." Kane half listened as the doctor droned on about the medicines he was giving her, writing out several prescriptions and describing a precise schedule for each dose. "You'll have to wake her up every four hours for a dose, but it is important you don't skip so she'll have constant levels of the medicine in her body. Those injections I gave her were like a tidal wave into her system, and we need to maintain that wave in order to help bring down the infections and get her better."

"How long?" Kane asked.

"Well, she should be feeling pretty much back to normal in a week. Just make sure she takes all the pills until they're gone." The doctor left him with a pile of paperwork and reminded him, "As soon as she wakes up we can discharge her. It should be in the next hour sometime. I suggest you take her to a hotel and let her get some more sleep. Oh, and try to keep her head elevated when she does. It'll help her breathe easier." Dr. Pauls handed Kane a sheet detailing a precise dosing schedule before saying: "When you guys are ready to leave, I suggest you say high to your buddy before you go." _Buddy?_ Kane looked up at him in confusion. The doctor frowned slightly, trying to remember correctly: "The other wrestler. . . Hardy, I think. He's in room 314." Kane had nearly forgotten what had happened to the younger Hardy, and he hadn't thought about it enough to imagine they had gone to the same hospital.

After the door closed behind him, Kane glanced at the clock on the wall. It was near four in the morning. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to distract himself by sorting out his schedule for the next few days. He couldn't leave Lita off by herself, and Matt and Jeff were out of the picture. He still didn't know the story behind Edge's absence, but he wouldn't do anything to bring that blonde bastard closer to her. Most of the company had the day off to make it to the next city, with the exception of a few unlucky bastards that were taking the midnight train to make a 8 am event. By some miracle of God, neither he nor Lita were scheduled for any events until the next evening. Which meant he had 36 hours to get her well enough to make the next major signing. He thought about hotel arrangements for a moment before he let out a frustrated groan. "Who am I trying to fool?" Across the room, Lita shifted slightly. Kane hung his head, the weight of the past few weeks weighing heavily on his shoulders. _If it wasn't for my stupid plan, she never would have wound up like this. . ._

He stood and faced the low hospital bed, scrutinizing Lita's face, searching for any sign that she was getting better; that she'd wake soon. But her eyes remained tightly closed, her body unmoving. He slowly moved to her bedside like a terrified worshiper who both adored and feared his goddess. As he had before, he knelt down and reached out to gently grasp her hand. His rough fingers caressed her pale skin, as his tongue tried to make sense of the mess of words in his head. As he struggled to put together a coherent sentence, he raised her hand, pressing her soft palm against his cheek. He took several deep breaths, preparing himself for the confession he couldn't bear to make when she was awake to hear it.

"I need you to wake up and tell me everything will be alright. I need you to forgive me. . ."

He managed to get the first sentence out, but after that he sat silently, unable to actually voice the thoughts that were torturing him. He let go of her hand, placing it gently back on the bed. Part of him wondered if she'd heard him. A knot formed in his throat.

A soft sigh startled him. His pulse jumped a few dozen Beats Per Minute as he jolted up from the chair, moving to sit on the edge of her bed as she sighed again, this time rolling slightly to her side. He suppressed the urge to sweep her into his arms as she moaned, reaching to cover her eyes with her hands. He watched her, unsure of what to do. His heart screamed to hold her, but his mind told him she may not be too receptive to that, considering his recent actions. He watched silently for several moments as she rubbed her aching eyes and groggily sat up. She opened her eyes, squinting in the glare of the small lamp. "Kane?" she asked softly, confused. He reached out to grasp her hand, watching her visibly cringe when she noticed the IV line. "How do you feel?" he asked, reaching out to brush the hair from her face while feeling her forehead. He could tell her temperature was starting to fall, a good sign.

"I ache. . ." she said, "my head and my ass." Kane laughed softly as he finally started to calm down. "Other than you ass, how do you feel?" Lita grimaced, taking a moment to listen to her body. Her head and body ached like mad, her throat painfully raw and her sinuses jam-packed. "Ugh. . ." Kane gently cupped her face, trying to get a look into her eyes, which were raw and bloodshot. She stared back at him, the reality of her situation sinking in. Kane's heart sank as he saw her expression fill with emotion: confusion, betrayal and pain all clouded her beautiful hazel eyes. He quickly let go of her, moving to press the call button on the wall. He knew that a nurse would arrive in a moment to remove her IV, which would get them out of the hospital as soon as possible. Kane paced with his back to her, the atmosphere in the room changing into something heavy and oppressive. He had been unable to wait for her to wake up, but now found himself unable to face all the issues that surrounded them. He began to dread the questions that must come eventually.

It seemed to take and eternity for the nurse to arrive, and Kane retreated into the hallway while the nurse removed Lita's IV. A few minutes later, the nurse emerged, supporting Lita as she shakily moved to the waiting wheelchair. The nurse nodded at Kane before re-entering the room to collect Lita's charts. Lita sat silently in the wheelchair, her eyes closed tightly against the painful glare of the hospital lights. As her head re-adjusted to the world of the living, her thoughts turned to confusion as she watched Kane collect her bag. She tried to remember what had happened before arriving to the hospital, but found her thoughts too muddled to sort out.

Lita shaded her eyes from the lights as Kane wheeled her through the hallway and over to the row of elevators. She was feeling marginally better, except her head which was having a bad reaction to the bright lights, and her ass tingling where the doctor had stuck her. She listened to the elevator chime it's arrival, and Kane pushed her in. She watched him press a button and the elevator began to rise. "Aren't we going to the lobby?" she asked softly, confused. He glanced down at her, and she could tell from his expression he was trying to hide something. "Just a quick stop." Lita frowned. Even in her semi-aware state, she could tell that he was hiding something from her, something that was eating away at him. But she didn't have the strength to press the issue, at least not now.

After a moment, the elevator re-opened and Kane wheeled her out onto the third floor. He took her down several hallways, finally coming to a stop just outside an open door. Lita's breath caught in her throat when she saw the name of the patient taped to the door: Hardy, Jeffrey. "Jeff is here?" she asked, surprised that she hadn't realized that they'd probably taken him to the same hospital. Kane bent down to whisper in her ear, "I'm going to finish signing you out. Go and see him. It will do you both good." He made to leave, but she caught his hand. She stared up at him and softly thanked him. He didn't respond, only squeezed her hand.

After Kane had disappeared down the hallway, Lita shakily stood, moving slowly so she wouldn't fall. She moved to just outside the door so she could see in. Jeff was sitting in the hospital bed, his left leg covered with a thick cast from his foot to halfway up his shin. She had barely made a noise before his head turned to the doorway and spotted her. His face lit up when he saw her, he stretched out his arms and called her in. "I'm so glad you're here!" he said, his voice soft." Lita glanced in the corner and saw Matt sprawled in an armchair, clutching a pillow to his chest, dead asleep. Jeff followed her eyes and sighed, "That bastard always could sleep anywhere, in any position." Lita laughed and reached down to hug Jeff.

She eyed the cast and asked, "What happened?" Jeff shook his head and laughed. "You know, it was just a freak accident. I was jumping off the ring post, trying to catch Shelton on the floor, and I completely missed! It was the damnest thing! I was in the air, I knew where I was going, but I wasn't in the right place. I landed on my foot all wrong. The Docs say I broke three bones in my ankle. They can't tell me, but I talked to one of the trainers, and he thinks I'll be out for two or three months. But anyway, I'm glad you're here."

She grasp his hand and gave her apologies. He shook them off. "Aw, hell. It's not like I broke my whole damn leg. Just three bones. Little ones. I'll be back in the ring in two months." Lita took comfort knowing that Jeff wasn't in the dumps about the situation. "Do you think you'll go back to the states, instead of coming along for the rest of the tour?" she asked, watching as Jeff ran his hands through his knotted hair. "I don't know. I was actually thinkin' I'd stay. You know, I've got the plane tickets, and the time. For once I'll actually be in Europe and have time for stuff other than wrestling." She reached into her bag and fished out her hairbrush, which she handed to him. He gratefully took and began sorting out the mess on his head as he asked, "So what finally convinced you to get yourself some damn medicine?" Lita glanced at Matt, making sure he was still asleep before she said softly, "Oh, you know. I just figured it was time. . ."

Jeff dropped the brush, leaning closer to her so he could get a good look at her eyes. Lita was slightly taken aback as Jeff's bright green eyes stared down into hers. For a moment she couldn't help but stare back, transfixed by Jeff's hypnotic eyes. Jeff had always possessed an uncanny ability to read someone through their eyes. He'd ferreted out many secrets before this way, and Lita quickly pulled away, unwilling to let him discover what she was hiding. Jeff watched her snap her head to the side, as if the monitor by his bedside was the most interesting thing she'd ever seen. He sat back, and watched her a moment longer. It was very obvious she was still being heavily affected by whatever drugs she'd been given. He reached out and grasped her hand, bringing her head back to face him. She saw the concern on his face as she reluctantly raised her eyes to meet his. "Look, whatever's going on, I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad you're getting better," he said, not wanting to push her.

Lita bowed her head, feeling ashamed of her actions. Even as things had been at their worst between Matt and herself, Jeff had always kept a neutral position, refusing to get involved in the blood feud between the two people he loved most. Even though the dynamics of Team Extreme were forever altered, she knew that Jeff would always be there when she needed him. Even when she had convinced herself she needed nobody but Edge, she knew that Jeff had always been there, had she ever reached out to him.

He gave her a soft smile, content to let her keep her secrets for now. The two sat together, serenaded by Matt's snores for a long moment. A small cough outside the door drew Lita's attention. She stiffened suddenly, realizing Kane was back, standing just outside the door where he couldn't be seen. Jeff must have heard it too, because he gave Lita a knowing look that said: _I know you don't want to tell me who that is, but I'll respect you enough not to look_. A surge of guilt flooded through her as she stood. "Jeff. . . I-" Jeff cut her off. "Don't worry about it. Just tell me when you're ready." She hesitated a moment, seriously considering telling him who her savior was. As she thought, Jeff reached over and began to rummage in the drawer of the small nightstand by the bed. A moment later he pulled out the small, credit card sized hotel room key.

"Don't worry about it. Just get better," he said, a soft smile on his face as he handed her the key. She stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do for a moment. "See you in Berlin?" Jeff offered. "Sure. Berlin it is," she replied, giving him a small smile. She reached down to give him one last hug before leaving the room. Kane sat patiently on a small metal bench in the hallway, sitting next to her gear bag. He stood when he saw her, reaching his arm around her shoulders to help her back into the wheelchair. "How are you feeling?" he asked softly, bringing his hand to gently cup her chin. Lita sighed, thoroughly worn out. He got the hint and hurried them out of there.

The first rays of dawn were in the sky before they arrived at Kane's hotel, after a brief stop at the Hardy's room to collect her things. Lita had fallen asleep again during the trip, and Kane, not wanting to wake her had carried her up to his hotel room. One he'd settled her into bed, he pulled one of the hotel's armchairs over to her bedside. She was already deeply asleep, and he noted with a tinge of sadness that he'd have to wake her in a little under three hours for her next dose of meds.

He sat down, stifling a groan of pain as his body reminded him just how exhausted he was. But he pushed the pain aside as he settled back, dead-set to keep watch over Lita. Ashamed by his inability to protect her, he was determined that he would not fail her again.

**I'm sorry this has taken so long! I had the most awful time with this chapter, and I'm still not completely happy with it, but I can't wait to tell more of this story. Don't worry, more updates will be coming very soon! Love JF.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Kane woke with a sudden start, jumping slightly as the bright sunlight creeping around the edge of the curtains hit his eyes. He closed them, the stinging light creating an instant headache. He gave a low moan and pressed his right hand to his head, trying to qualm the pounding. Against his chest, he felt Lita's head shift gently. Surprised, he immediately froze, fearing he'd woken her. He held his breath for a tense moment, waiting for some other sign that she was waking. But the only movement she made was to curl a little deeper into the curve of his neck, her hands slightly tightening their grip on his shirt. As his body came back to life, he became painfully aware as the muscles in his back and shoulders began to scream in protest from being locked in the same unmoving position. He bit back a groan, unwilling to disturb the woman who was curled against him. With his left arm wrapped tightly around her body, he gently took his right to caress the pale skin of her cheek.

That night he had ignored the doctor's advice for only so long, until he couldn't stand watching her struggle to breathe as she lay alone in the bed. The nest of pillows he'd made for her had slipped out of place as she tossed and turned, leaving him with no other options. She'd barely been conscious as he sat down on the bed beside her, his back against the headboard, and pulled her into his lap.

She'd immediately fallen against him, her head nestling against his chest as her hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt in an unconscious effort to hang on. He'd immediately felt the change in her breathing, her breaths becoming steady and deep as he held her. He didn't know if she'd appreciate being held all night, but he'd rather endure her anger than watch her suffer.

He took a moment to focus his bleary eyes before glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand. The green letters glowed 11:19. As his mind slowly came awake, he began to remember everything that they were facing for the day. He had no doubts Lita's condition had improved much, but he knew they were expected to arrive with the rest of the roster in Innsbruck for a huge WWE fan event that would be followed by a two and a half hour house show. He figured all the various factors together and decided they'd have to leave in just under an hour and a half to catch their train, check into the next hotel, get Lita prepared for the event and then head over for the show. He couldn't remember who he was facing, but he was sure it wasn't of too much concern.

His thoughts turned to Lita, worrying if she would make it through the signing, and what she'd be expected to do at the show, if anything. The last thing he wanted was for everyone to see how ill she'd been. He knew that Trish was doing all she could to find Lita's weaknesses, exploit whatever she could in order to prevent Lita from getting her title match. Until Mickie's accident, she and Trish had been together constantly, the blonde Diva carefully tutoring her eager brunette counterpart. He knew that Lita's match had been rescheduled in a few weeks, and he no doubt Trish was doing everything she could to speed Mickie's recovery and get her in prime condition for the ring.

If he had anything to do with it, he'd be sure to keep Trish in constant terror, but he knew that he couldn't do anything to connect himself with Lita in front of anyone remotely related with the company. A painful pull deep in his chest reminded him of the chaos that the company had exploited when Lita made her new alliances public. He lost himself for a moment in his thoughts, imagining all the ways the company would twist the situation in a sick ploy for ratings and merchandise sales. The pain of their last 'storyline' together had weighed heavy on him, and it wasn't something he'd be able to endure again.

He realized that all of this meant that he'd have to get her up and functioning enough that he could leave her to her own devices for a few hours and not have to worry about peeling her off the floor of some empty hallway. Which meant he needed her conscious first of all. He lowered one arm from around her shoulder, moving his hand to smooth the hair away from her face. He watched her react to the sensation of warmth on her face, as he called her name softly. As he spoke, he watched her initially resist, her body stiffening and her brow furrowing. But her persisted until he saw her eyelids grudgingly open. As the sleep faded from her eyes, she glanced around the room, and growing confused when she realized she wasn't lying as she remembered. Kane actually found himself holding his breath, waiting to see if she'd be angry. It took her a moment, but eventually she turned her head, coming nose to nose with Kane. She balked slightly, as if embarrassed. "What happened?" she asked, confused, unsure of what exactly had led her into his arms. Kane told her, studying her face for the first sign of anger: "You weren't able to breath right when you were laying down. You sounded like you were choking whenever you took a breath. The doctor said if that happened, to put you upright and you'd be okay." He avoided her eyes, waiting for her to say something.

Lita stared up at him, watching his expression that he kept carefully guarded; devoid of emotion. She shook her head, trying to clear away the last fogginess of sleep from her thoughts. She'd slept better last night than she had for a long while. Usually a combination of her active mind and Edge's snoring helped to keep her up half the night; she'd almost become accustomed to poor sleep. She felt his body tense slightly beneath hers, and she took that as a signal that he was ready for her get up. She felt a twinge of guilt, knowing she'd probably crushed his legs all night. "I'm sorry," she said, sliding from his lap onto the mattress next to him. She almost thought she saw a passing sadness in his expression, but she accounted it to the shadows in the room. The warmth generated between their bodies in the night quickly dissipated, replaced with coldness as they both withdrew into themselves.

She watched him get up, reaching onto the nightstand for the small cluster of medicine bottles resting there. She vaguely remembered him waking her a few times to swallow the next doses. He quickly pulled out several multi-colored pills and handed them to her. She studied the fat pills rolling around in her palm as she heard him fill a glass with water at the sink. He handed it to her and stood to watch, like a parent making sure their child ate all of their broccoli. She gave a small half-smile at the thought before swallowing the pills; grimacing at the bitter taste. She made another face as the pills tore down her raw and painful throat. Satisfied, Kane began pulling luggage from the floor, placing it on the bed to be re-packed. She watched him search through hers, looking for something.

She didn't bother to protest; her aching back and shoulders did enough of that for her. She uttered a low moan as she began to stretch, forcing the painful muscles to limber up. She winced, knowing she was going to need some major time at the gym to make up for being ill for too long. As she bent forward, pressing her nose to her knees, she couldn't cover up a soft groan as her problem-prone lower back made it's displeasure known. She grimaced, waiting for the muscles to unwind when she felt a jab of pain right in the worst spot. She let out a small cry of shock as the pain pressed deeper, then spread, mellowing, turning into surprising relief. As the sensation moved, she realized Kane had moved behind her and was tenderly massaging her lower back.

She was almost embarrassed, but gave no sign of it, fearing he would stop. She let him continue for a long moment, savoring the relief his fingers offered. Eventually he stopped, and she sat up slowly. "I don't want to rush you, but how soon can you be ready to leave?" he asked, carrying one of her bags into the bathroom. "How 'ready' do you mean?" she asked, getting up from the bed. To a wrestler, 'ready' could mean many things. Especially to the female ones. She heard the water in the shower start running and a moment later Kane emerged and said, "Ready enough to travel. We'll have some time at the next hotel for you to get ready for the signing and the show." Relieved she wouldn't have to get 'show ready,' she reached out and pulled some clothes from her nearby suitcase.

She watched Kane quickly change his shirt and put the room key in his pocket. "The trip is close to 3 hours, so you'll want to dress comfortable. . . I'm going to find us something to eat." She nodded her agreement as she made her way to the bathroom, taking her time for some extra stretching. Kane left without a word, but Lita wouldn't have noticed if he had. Her entire body was perked, the idea of a long hot shower was just too good to resist.

She quickly stripped off her clothes and stepped under the hot spray. The water felt like heaven, carrying away aches and helping Lita to feel more human than she had in days. She turned the water hotter, filling the small bathroom with steam; her own personal sauna. She reached down to the rim of the tub for her body wash, but instead encountered every hygiene product she owned. _What on earth?_, she laughed, locating her body wash and shampoo from the small army of bottles. Realizing Kane, probably wanting to help her but was unable to tell what-was-what, had placed everything there to be easily in reach. Lita smiled, thankful for his helpfulness. _After all, what can I expect from a man with no hair to wash?_

She took her time, scrubbing her entire body pink, and allowing her conditioner to soak in longer than normal. Using the showerhead's massage setting, she turned to rest her forehead against the cool tile wall while the jet of hot water pulsed on her back. As she let her body relax, she turned her thoughts to the past few days, trying to pin down exactly what had happened. She vaguely remembered going Raw. Most of all, she remembered feeling like she was at Death's door. _Well_, she amended her thoughts, _If not at his door, then at least coming up the walk._ Jeff's accident was clear in her mind; her pursuit was a bit fuzzier. She was definitely on the floor at one point. . .

_And then Kane was there. But how did he find me? Was I crying?_

She didn't remember much after that. She wracked her brain, trying to piece together what had happened. Shards of memories flew through her mind; but she was unable to latch onto any except for one that still burned strong in her mind. It wasn't a memory in the same was as a thought; no, this was the memory of a sensation. She pressed her palm to her cheek where she remembered the sensation so strongly, she could almost feel it.

A heartbeat. . .

Strong, unrelenting, pounding beneath her head. . .

The most soothing thing she'd experienced in a long time. She concentrated on that memory for a long moment, savoring the sensation of warm and calm it invoked in her.

For the longest time she was oblivious to anything else until she heard the room door open and close. She quickly snapped out of her dream-like state and realized that Kane was back already. She rushed to turn off the water and grab a towel, only to realize there were none. After stemming a flood of curses, she stepped behind the door, opening it just a crack. "Kane?" she called softly, looking through the crack to see if she could see him. There was no answer for a minute, until the door was forced open a bit wider as Kane's arm stuck through it, clutching the clothes she'd pulled out earlier and two fluffy white towels. Relieved, she sighed, "Oh jeeze, thanks." The door closed again and she quickly began drying herself. It took her a bit to get dry enough to dress in the soft yoga pants and simple tank top she'd picked out. After wrapping her damp hair in the second towel, she ventured back into the room.

Kane was sitting at the small room table, pulling containers of food from the paper bag he held. Although she still couldn't smell anything, she grew excited at the concept of food. She moved to his side and peered down at what he'd got. He reached into the bag and handed her a plastic container to her. "I tried to find you something soft. . . for your throat. . ." She thanked him softly, pulling off the lid to see what was inside. "It's wild mushroom ravioli," he said, as if he expected her to reject his choice. She sat down at the table and tore open one of the plastic cutlery packs. "It looks good. Thank you," she said, trying to reassure him. She could tell he was pleased she liked it, even though he didn't respond.

He didn't join her as she ate, opting to shower instead. She ate slowly, trying not to further irritate her throat. By the time she was finished, she felt like a new person; albeit a sick one. Kane showered and dressed quickly, and together they packed their remaining bags. Despite Lita's protests, Kane had carried down their bags himself, leaving Lita alone for a few minutes. She sat down at the edge of the bed and turned on the television for a moment. She smiled when she saw something familiar was on.

When Kane came back up to the room, he saw Lita had the TV on. He moved to stand beside her to see what she was watching. When he recognized what it was, he looked down at her in confusion and asked, "You're watching The X-Files?" She looked up at him and smiled, "What? You don't like The X-Files?" He glanced from her to the TV, and back again. "But it's in Spanish." She smiled up at him and asked sweetly, "_Qué_?" He rolled his eyes at her and asked, "Who are you, Lita Austin now?" Her smile widened as she chanted, "_Qué? Qué? Qué?_"

Kane heaved a sigh as he collected the last bit of luggage and helped Lita out the door. Feeling playful, Lita continued her Stone Cold impression down the hall, in the elevator, through the lobby and out into the parking lot. She was laughing so hard it was getting difficult to get the next _Qué_ out. She watched as Kane wrenched open the door to the car and tossed the last bag in before turning back to face her. She began laughing even harder when Kane suddenly grabbed her, pulling her flush against his body. The last "Qué" died in her throat as he stared down at her. Lita sucked in a fearful breath, waiting for him to chastise her. To her surprise he bent down and gently pressed a kiss to her forehead. "_Calles tonda_," he said softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. Sufficiently stunned, Lita managed a small smile back.

After he helped Lita into the car, they drove off, heading for the train station where they would board the train for Innsbruck. "I need you to understand something," Kane said abruptly. Surprised by the heaviness in his tone, she turned her head to listen to him. "I'll drop you off at the station, but after that I can't stay with you."

_Can't let them see. . . _

Her silence surprised him. "Lita?" She nodded her head, understanding. "We can't let anyone suspect that. . ." The words died on her tongue. _Suspect what? That you're trading men again? That you've gone and fallen in lo-_ She closed her eyes, unwilling to let her mind finish that thought.

"If anyone from the roster is on this train, we don't want them to notice how sick you've been. Trish does not need to hear rumors about your illness," he said, pulling the car into the passenger drop-off at the station. He turned in his seat to face her. "Will you be alright until we can board?" She nodded silently as she pulled her carry-on bag from the back seat and climbed from the car. She shut the door behind her, and headed for the station entrance.

Once inside, she was directed to the correct passenger lounge, where already over a hundred people were waiting for the train to arrive. She walked around the lounge slowly, looking as if she was searching for someone. As she walked by the rows of strangers, she searched their faces, looking for anyone she may know. After several long minutes she was unable to spot anyone familiar, so she settled into an empty seat. From her bag, she took out her favorite hoodie and slipped it on, pulling the hood up and down over her eyes. She tried to make herself comfortable, but found that nearly impossible in the hard plastic seats. Eventually she was able to drape her arms against the back of the chair, where she could rest her head. This also gave her the advantage of being able to see anyone as they entered the lounge. While she waited, she began to dwell on what Kane had told her.

_Is he really so concerned about everyone knowing I'm sick? Is that really what worries him most?_

Lita heaved a sigh as she watched Kane enter the lounge and head for a seat by the far wall, not casting a single glance in Lita's direction. She didn't stare after him; instead she turned to watch the entrance again. Thankfully, a loudspeaker overhead soon announced the arrival of their train. She got up and joined the flood of people heading for the train platform. In the rush of people, she lost track of Kane, but somehow sensed he was close behind her. It took several minutes, but eventually she found her way to the right car. She was surprised when she saw it wasn't just row upon row of seats, but was instead a series of private rooms. She found the right one and entered, a happy sigh escaping her when she saw the thick, padded seats, covered in blue velvet. She tossed her bag into one of the overhead compartments and lay down across two of the seats.

The door to the compartment opened and Kane squeezed through the narrow door. He put away his own bag before settling down on the seat across from her. "Will this be alright?" he asked, watching her stretch happily across the seats. She smiled and said, "I think I may actually be able to get some sleep this time." They fell into a comfortable silence as both settled in for the trip. After everyone had boarded, the train lurched forward, picking up speed as it left the station and barreled on towards Innsbruck. Lita reclined in her seat, watching Kane through half-lidded eyes. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. His attention was instead focused out the window, watching the landscape fly by. She spoke suddenly, surprising herself as much as Kane.

"Do you want to explain what is going on?"

His brow furrowed as he turned to look at her. She sat up to face him. "Explain what, exactly?" he asked, but both of them clearly knew exactly what she meant. She felt herself growing angry at his hesitance, but she held it back. "Do you know what it was like, not knowing what the hell I'd done to push you away?" She didn't elaborate. The expression on Kane's face told her she'd hit a nerve. He didn't answer for a moment, but hunched over in his seat to rest his elbows on his knees, watching Lita intently. There was a wisp of a smile on his lips as he asked a question she hadn't expected.

"Do you know what I love best about you?"

She rolled her eyes, unable to see the point as he elaborated: "I love the look in you eyes when I wrap my hands around your throat. I love to feel your arteries pulse against my fingers as I choke off your breath. And I love that look you give me; that terrified look, begging me, pleading for release." Lita gaped at him. He watched the disbelief grow in her eyes before he continued. "But once you see past the fear, there is something better, deep within. There's a look, that headstrong look that stares right back into me and says "Fuck you. You'll never hurt me." And you're right. . .mostly."

Lita stared at him, barely able to contain her rage as she spat at him: "And what _the fuck_ is that supposed to mean?"

He was quiet for a moment, watching her with amusement in his eyes. "It means I know how strong you are." She glared at him, raising her eyebrows as if to ask, "And?" Kane took a deep breath, reluctant to make the confession he owed her.

"I know sometimes it doesn't matter how strong someone is. If the circumstances are right, I know how easy it is to get distracted; miscalculate a move, to just lose focus. Even something you love can be the one thing to take it all away. . .If you let anything distract you, for even a moment in the ring, you could lose everything." A pang of guilt hit Lita in the stomach, it painfully clear he was drawing on his experiences with her. Sudden flashes of all the matches she'd purposely cost him flew through her mind. He continued to speak, bowing his head so he wouldn't have to look at her.

"And I became afraid for you. It was bad enough I had to depend on Edge to take care of you. . . He's done a fucking good job of it. . . And now I have to worry about him and everything else distracting you, messing up your shot and ending your career." He looked up briefly, but quickly dipped his head again. "I can't explain what was happening on between us. For a while I was sure it was just convenience. You were hurt and needed comfort, and I just happened to be there when Edge wasn't. I can't explain why it didn't just end there. You got what you needed, and once again I was irrelevant. It was easier for me to pretend this was some passing thing. . . eventually you'd come to your senses and it would end."

"Then why did you kiss me? Why did you keep coming back?" She asked, leaning back in her seat, her face neutral. Much like Kane, Lita had become an expert at keeping her emotions hidden.

He laughed, short and bitter. "Why would a recovering addict take one last hit? You always were the best chemical I could have ever wanted." He paused a moment, carefully choosing his next words. "But when I found those pictures you somehow snuck into my bag, everything changed in my head. It suddenly became clear what I had to do to protect you. I convinced myself that leaving your life was the only way to protect you."

It should have been a 'sun bursting through the clouds' moment of revelation. Instead, all Lita felt was a churning sensation in her stomach. He didn't wait for her to reply before he continued. "I couldn't let myself become the thing, the distraction that cost you everything. So at the risk of hurting you and making you hate me, I did what I thought was right. I removed myself from the picture."

Lita closed her eyes, soaking in the meaning of his words. While she still angry at what he had done, she was almost relieved, knowing that he'd done it out of consideration for her. Too often it seemed decisions were made in her life by others who had other interests at heart. "I wish you wouldn't make decisions as to what is the best for me," she said finally. By the way Kane flinched, this was not the reaction he expected. She stood suddenly and moved across the room to sit next to him. "I don't like your methods, but I appreciate your intent," she said, reaching a gentle hand to caress his cheek, "But please trust me to make my own decisions."

He turned his head, looking down into her hazel eyes. And in those eyes he saw just how strong she could be. Silently she told him, _I've been through worse than this. Just don't leave me alone again._ He opened his arms to her, and she eagerly snuggled into his embrace. Neither had to say anything more. Kane wasn't very surprised when Lita fell asleep in a few minutes. Even though he too felt the pull of sleep, he forced his eyes open only a moment longer. He allowed his fingers to tangle in her hair that had dried into soft natural waves, framing her face that was beautifully free of makeup. He closed his eyes, savoring the image in his mind. Few people ever got to see her like this. Away from all personas or storylines, she was just Lita. And for one blissful moment before he faded into sleep, he could pretend she was his.

The slowing of the train woke them. Lita initially resisted, too comfortable and unwilling to face the next few hours. Both lingered in the warmth of their embrace before the train finally arrived at the station. In order to keep up pretenses, Kane left first to secure the next rental car and head for the hotel. Lita dallied on the train, waiting to leave at the last minute. Eventually she emerged and joined the crowd of passengers heading to claim their bags. She managed to collect everything with little difficulty, and was even pleasantly surprised to find her cab already waiting at the station's entrance. The ride to the hotel was short enough, and before she knew it, she was standing at door number 5-19.

Almost as it he had been watching for her, the door swung open, and he emerged to help her drag her stuff inside. She noted, with a bit of surprise, he'd gotten a room with double beds. He offered no explanation other than, "Your cab will be back in just over an hour to take you to the arena. I'll take the car over eventually." Lita sat down on her bed and watched him for a moment before replying, "So I guess I'll just hitch a ride home?" The annoyance in her voice was clear. She saw his shoulders tense, filling her with guilt. "I'm sorry," she said softly. He moved over to where she sat and reached out to cup her chin. Neither said anything as each realized the frustration and stress in the other. "You should get ready," he said again. This time, she offered no protest.

Kane pulled out his gear bag and went about the task of making sure he had everything he would need for the night. Lita meanwhile began rummaging through her bags, pulling out the outfit she would need for tonight. She pulled out a pair of tight black cargos, crossed here and there with thin chains. For the signing, she settled on a grey shirt, adorned with pink neon skulls. For the show, she'd once again be playing the part of the Rated R Diva, necessitating a low cut black top. After changing quickly in the bathroom, she pulled out her relatively small cosmetics bag and climbed onto the marble counter of the bathroom vanity. Kane watched in amusement as she sat inches away from the mirror and began pulling a variety of bottles, pots and pencils from her bag, the thin straps of a simple black thong sneaking up past her pants. She noticed his expression in the mirror and turned to quickly stick her tongue out at him. That earned her a laugh.

She shook her head and began the elaborate process of getting show ready. Even though she didn't wear half the cosmetics of some of the other Divas, she still took a good twenty minutes to perfect her look. After she finished with the makeup, she retrieved her hair straightener and went to work obliterating the natural waves that formed when she didn't bother to style her hair. As she worked, Kane watched with interest. Little by little, he was losing the Lita he loved so much, watching her being replaced by the Rated R Lita, Edge's girlfriend. It was like she was two different people. One, was the one he loved most, the Lita he was comfortable with, who dressed in sweats, her hair and face bare of all products. The other Lita was cold and cruel, beautiful but capable of spitting poison from the arms of her equally pretty boyfriend. The other Lita turned him cold inside, haunted by what she'd done to him.

Now finished getting dressed, Lita went to her bags, packing her own gear bag. As she pulled out the various braces and tapes she used, she did so knowing she probably wouldn't have a need for them tonight. Today she'd be relegated as Edge's escort. She watches as Kane packed away his wrestling tights, enormous boots and the various elbow and knee pads he used. After a while he retreated to the bathroom to change, leaving Lita alone for a few moments. In the last few minutes she had before she had to leave, she stepped out onto the sunny balcony to center her thoughts. She still wasn't feeling too hot, but she'd be able to fake it long enough to get through the signing and show. She hadn't heard from Edge in days; he hadn't even tried to call her. She had no doubts that he was enjoying the European tour to his fullest extent; regardless of what was happening to her.

If he missed her at all, he didn't show it. She had no clue as to what sort of mood he'd be in when she finally showed, but at the moment she didn't really care. As the sun warmed her limbs, she turned to watch Kane through the glass door. He had finished dressing, and was now sitting on the bed, his head bent low over a thick book she'd seen him with before. She noticed curiously that as long as he sat with the book, he never turned a page. Down below on the street, she saw the familiar flash of a yellow cab, that was probably meant for her. When she slid the door open to head inside, Kane quickly shut the book and put it away in his bag. "What are you reading?" she asked, curious. She suddenly felt very awkward when he didn't respond, his eyes traveling from her boots to the top of her head. He looked into her eyes with a blank expression and told her, "Try to take care of yourself tonight." She frowned, hurt by his indifference. "I can't be there to save you this time," he said, his eyes cast away from her.

Unwilling to press him any further today, she grabbed her gear bag and headed for the door, pausing only to trail a light hand over his arm. "I'll see you tonight," she said softly before the door closed behind her.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Lita handed the taxi driver his money and headed down the long ramp that served as the entrance for the performers. She walked slowly, listening to the echoes of her heavy shoes on the polished concrete floor. While she knew she should be mentally preparing herself for all that tonight would entail, she couldn't tear her thoughts away from Kane. There had been a change between them, one she couldn't quite identify. Her heart beat a little faster as she remembered the way he had looked at her, with softness in his eyes. She could almost see happiness in his mis-matched eyes; carefully hidden away. But something had changed, something she couldn't identify. Something had changed in the way he looked at her. Any emotion she thought she had seen in his eyes had been replaced by a cold mask. _He still doesn't trust me, _she thought sadly._ And why should he? What sign have I given him that this isn't another game?_

As she moved further into the arena, the din of voices from dozens of people broke her from her thoughts. Before she came into anyone's view, she took a moment to compose herself. All thoughts of Kane were pushed away as she straightened her shoulders and narrowed her eyes. Feeling somewhat ready, she turned the corner and strode down the main corridor, the central artery of the arena facilities. She came to the green room, the communal hangout for the roster. She walked straight into the room and saw a small group had gathered, waiting for the signing, show, or both.

There were already about twenty other wrestlers there, dressed in their street clothes. Most were gathered around a table laid out with coffee, bottles of water and soda. She made a bee-line for the table and poured a paper cup full of what was actually pretty passable coffee. As she stirred in her sugar, she moved to sit on the arm of an empty couch, watching the other wrestlers as they hung out before the event. Taped up near her head way a flyer listing the 10 wrestlers who were assigned to 'wrestler row,' the long table where fans would line up to receive autographs. The original list read:

Shelton Benjamin

Carlito

Kane

Victoria

Paul London

Brian Kendrick

Charlie Haas

Jeff Hardy

Lita

Edge

But someone had made some alterations. Next to Jeff's name were several question marks. Lita suddenly felt guilty for not calling Jeff since she last saw him. It seemed nobody, not even she, knew if he was going to be able to make it tonight. Not even Matt was here to take his place for the signing. She didn't know what to make of that. But most confusing of all, was why Edge's name was crossed out with a thick X. Next to his name, someone had scrawled 'Maria.' She turned to look at the bubbly Diva who was sitting on another couch, sandwiched very comfortably between London and Kendrick; who in turn looked very happy to have Maria's attention. Lita wondered who the hell made that call.

She sat alone on her couch, watching the others chatting and relaxing together, leaving her to feel very isolated. Every time a pair of eyes moved to where she sat, they were quickly cast aside, as if they'd been meaning to look at that patch of wall just above her shoulders instead of at her. She reclined on the couch, doing her best to look as if she didn't care nobody liked her. She'd become very good at masking her internal turmoil with a contemptuous attitude and sour disposition. That was all anyone expected of her anymore. In her head, their unspoken taunts rang:

_She can't be trusted anymore. _

_That no-good slut will turn on you in a second. _

_Slut! Slut! Slut!_

She sighed softly.

_Playing the roster bitch is always easier when Edge is there to back me up,_ she thought sadly.

She stayed only another minute, long enough to finish her coffee. As she turned to leave, she caught a glimpse of Shelton, clutching his Intercontinental Title possessively. He glared at her, his eyes wide and alert, as if waiting for her to attack. She gave him a withering look that clearly said: _Aren't_ _you one of the drunks that stumbled into my hotel room at 3 in the fucking morning to see me naked?_ His gaze faltered and he quickly looking away. She turned and left the green room, pitching her now empty cup as she passed. Once she was out of sight, she allowed herself a smug smile. Now, feeling more confident, she headed for the part of the arena that housed the various dressing and locker rooms.

As she moved through halls, she took note of where the other wrestlers were set up. When she came across the door marked 'Hardy,' she turned, checking to see if anyone was around to see before she quietly opened the door. The room was completely empty. "Where are you guys?" she muttered. She couldn't even say if the brothers had made it to Innsbruck. For all she knew Jeff could still be in that Spanish hospital. A guilty lump formed in her throat. Even in the worst times between her and Matt, Jeff had been neutral, always there should she ever need his friendship or comfort. When she was sick, he and Matt had taken care of her, and now she couldn't even be bothered to do the same.

The sound of other people in the hall jolted herself from her thoughts. She quickly closed the door and continued down the hall until she reached the door marked 'Edge.' She noted with much frustration that her name had been penciled in below his; an afterthought. From inside there was a burst of laughter. Curious, she pulled open the door. The room fell silent when Edge saw her. She watched as his face changed from surprise to excitement. He quickly rushed forward and pulled her into a big hug, sweeping her off the floor in his excitement. He smiled like a loon as his hands tangled in her hair while he showered her face with kisses. "How are you? God, you look so much better than the last time I saw you!" When he noticed she wasn't reciprocating his elation, he pulled back slightly. "Hey, hey, hey!" he said, "What's with the long face?" He pouted his lips in mock sadness.

Lita felt a pull in her body, as though she was trying to distance herself away from him. It was almost like her mind was detached from her body. She saw him laughing and smiling; obviously happy she was there. But she didn't feel the same way inside. She looked at him with almost a sort of disappointment. In his eyes, she saw the fearful questions, wondering why his girlfriend wasn't happy to see him. Lita forced a smile, reaching forward to press a kiss to his lips. When their lips were just about to meet, Edge suddenly pulled away. "Whoa, you still aren't. . . sick. . . are you?" he asked, eyeing her warily. Lita suppressed the urge to slug him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Getting better," she said. He relaxed and returned her hug, pressing soft kisses along her jawline.

_What's wrong with you? He's your boyfriend and you haven't seen him in forever. You should be overjoyed to see him!_ She felt a guilty lump form in her throat as she genuinely pressed her body to his, standing on her toes so she could rest her head against the curve of his neck. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, savoring the feeling of easy familiarity Edge provided. The spicy scent of his aftershave tickled her nose as his soft hair fell over them both. Lita slowly began to remember why she had picked him in the first place. After a long and comfortable moment Lita opened her eyes.

Over Edge's shoulder, she caught a glimpse of his companion sitting across the room. Her heart fell into her stomach as the twisted visage of Gene Snitsky leered at her. She broke away from Edge, almost like she'd been shocked. "What the fuck is he doing here?" she spat, glaring at Edge. His green eyes looked at her in confusion; he actually turned around to see who she was talking about. He asked her innocently: "What?"

"Well hi Lita," Snitsky drawled, his eyes moving languidly from her breasts to her feet. Lita wanted to vomit. "Is that anyway to greet someone whose done so much for you?" he asked, delighting in her discomfort.

She backed away from Edge, who continued to look at her in confusion. "What's wrong honey bunny?"

Lita's hands were shaking violently when she finally broke. She leveled an accusing finger straight between Snitsky's eyes.

"I'll never forgive you for what you've done to me!"

She turned, releasing her fury on Edge.

"And you! I'll never, _ever_ forgive you for making me work with him!"

Edge looked genuinely hurt. "Babe, what are you talking about? He helped us! When we needed protection from your psycho ex-husband, he was in our corner! We owe him!" He reached for her, but she pulled away violently.

"You made me work with the man who killed my son," she spat bitterly.

Edge paused a moment, realizing that if her looks could kill, he'd be dead and buried. "Well, uh, technically Lita, Gene didn't kill your son…" As soon as the words left his mouth, Edge realized his mistake. He watched Lita's eyes glaze over, her body heaving with unexpressed fury. "Uh, actually, what I meant was-"

But Lita couldn't hear him. She felt as if she'd left her body, settling instead into a memory she'd desperately tried to repress.

_Lita's whole body was pulsing with furious energy as she strained to keep herself under control. Edge reached to drape his arm across her shoulder, but she jerked away. He rolled his eyes in frustration as the General Manager went over the segment again. "Look Lita, I know this situation is . . . touchy. What happened was unfortunate, but the company feels that we can make use of this situation." Lita scowled at him, wanting nothing more than to scream "Fuck you all," and leave the arena. Edge prodded her gently. "Come on Lita. You don't have to mean it. Just say it." Everyone's eyes settled on her expectantly. "No fucking way," she spat, scooting a bit further away from Edge. Edge heaved a frustrated sigh as Bischoff hung his head. "Alright, here's the deal," he said, drawing himself up to his full height. "I'm the general manager and therefore in charge of what happens on this show. Lita, it doesn't matter if what Snitsky did ruined you life or made it better. You can hate him, you can thank him, whatever you do on your own time is your business. But now; in front of my cameras, you will say what I deem best for the show." _

_Lita chewed her lip in absolute frustration, knowing she had no other option than to follow Bischoff's orders. "You will thank Snitsky for saving you from having Kane's son. Like it is the best thing that ever happened. Thank him and then harp on whatever you want to about how hard it was to be with Kane. Say whatever you want. But make it good, and make it hurt." The general manager's verdict was final. Lita knew she either did this or lost her job. Edge's arm once again reached to drape over her shoulders, but this time she didn't stop him. He smiled, thinking she'd calmed down. Lita stared at him, plotting which way was best to claw his eyes out. "Is that understood, Lita?" Bischoff asked, his face smug. She glared at him and muttered a dull 'yes.' Bischoff smiled. "Great! Well, you all had better finish getting ready." As everyone got up to leave, Lita turned back for one last comment. "Has anyone ever told you not to poke the fucking bear?" The general manager sneered and said, "Have a good show," before dismissing them with a curt nod. _

"Lita!"

Lita stared into Edge's green eyes as she came back to reality. "Yo! Earth to Lita!" Lita turned and stared at Snitsky, who she realized was gripping her arm. She recoiled in horror, stepping back from them both. "You stay the fuck away from me," she hissed. She watched Snitsky exchange a glance with Edge before heading out the door. Once the door had settled closed behind him, Edge grabbed her wrist and led her over to a wooden bench against the wall. He sat her down, gripping her hands tightly. "What the hell was that?" he asked, his eyes hard.

"Are you kidding me?" Lita was practically screaming by now. "After all he'd done to me? He punted a damned plastic baby into the audience to torture me!" She was startled by the anger in his face. "Why are you making this an issue now?" Lita hesitated. "You don't think it's been long enough to forget about all that shit?"

Lita bit her lip in frustration. She realized she couldn't afford to start a fight with Edge over this. Especially when she wasn't supposed to care about that anymore.

"Look Lita, It is all in the past. Whatever he did to you…so what? It is all over. Christ, you know how this profession is! Partnerships, alliances are broken in seconds, without reason, and new ones form in the blink of an eye.. You can't dwell on who you used to be partners with. You've got to look at the now and tomorrow. . . Remember when Christian and I had all those matches against the Hardys and Dudleys?" Lita nodded silently. "I can't even count all the times you took me out with a Litacarana. And do I hold it against you? Did I refuse to help you because I was still pissed? Hell no! You can't dictate the future by the past." Lita couldn't help the smile that came when she thought back on their matches as foes. Edge broke into a smile when he saw her mood lighten. He released her hands and reached up to gently cradle her face.

"There's my girl. . . See? I knew you'd feel better if you just saw it my way. Besides, trust me, there will be plenty of time for me to knock you up."

Lita rolled her eyes at him. The couple embraced, forgetting the earlier anger to focus instead on their reunion. Lita could feel the happiness in his body as he pulled her into his arms. "I missed you," he said softly as he pressed kisses into her hair. Then, apparently braving his earlier fears, he eagerly pressed his lips to hers, his arms wrapping around her body. Lita returned his embrace with equal passion. She allowed herself to forget all of her anger and surrender into his embrace that quickly became heated.

His tongue invaded her mouth as his hands gripped her waist; deftly pulling her into his lap. Lita pressed her body to his, her hips unconsciously grinding onto his. Edge moaned excitedly as Lita's lips left his and traveled down his jaw and onto the sensitive parts of his neck. She eagerly yanked the collar of his shirt aside to reach the skin on his throat and chest. "God I missed you," he moaned, momentarily stopping Lita. Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed deep into his startlingly green eyes. Before she knew what she was doing, three words slipped from her lips: "I love you." Edge's fingers caressed the edge of her face as he whispered, "I love you too." He dipped his head to kiss her again, taking comfort in her familiar taste. Lita closed her eyes and returned the kiss, but couldn't fight her painful desire as she wished the green eyes she gazed into were instead a mis-matched blue.

The production staffer checked his clipboard again, making sure he had the right dressing room. He crossed Lita's name off his list as he reached out to knock on the door. There was a pause inside the room before he could hear movement. A moment later the door swung open and Lita stepped out. "You're Lita, right?" he asked nervously. She rolled her eyes and nodded her head. "They need you to head up for the fan event." "Just give me a second," she said, heading back into the room for something she'd forgotten. Just before the door swung shut in his face, he called, "It's the Royal Suite, Room 1001!"

Lita rolled her eyes, reaching into her bag to pull out a tube of lip gloss, which she carefully re-applied before slipping the tube into her pocket. "Well, have fun out there," Edge said as he pulled his shirt back on. Lita frowned. "That's right. How the hell did you get out of this?" Edge gave her a cocky smile. "Well, I discussed it with the general manager, and he agreed that it was best that my performance wasn't compromised by this event." Lita gaped at him. "You are so full of shit." Edge winked at her. She heaved a disgusted sigh as he got up to give her a quick hug. "Like I said babe, have fun and I'll see you when the show starts."

She headed out, muttering a weak curse under her breath. She navigated her way through the arena into the large suite where the event was to be held. The other wrestlers slowly trickled in as the production crew finished setting up the various distractions for the fans. Lita perched herself on a bare table, pulling out her cell phone for some entertainment before the event started. After a few minute, the last wrestler arrived. Lita barely batted an eyelash as Kane entered the room. He avoided looking at her as he moved to take his place at the opposite end of the table from Lita. She idly pressed the keys on her phone, desperately trying to keep her mind away from Kane, although she was unable to stop the furious pounding of her heart.

The feel of a soft hand on her arm startled her, nearly causing her to jump off the table. Lita looked up in surprise to see Maria standing at her side. Her first instinct was to chastise the junior Diva, but thought the better of it when she noticed Maria was staring down the row of wrestlers. Lita followed the girl's gaze and asked, "What? Couldn't decide between London or Kendrick?" To Lita's surprise, she saw a distinct frown on Maria's pretty face, her eyes cold and suspicious. "Are you okay with this?" Maria asked, still glaring across the room. Lita looked again, and saw that she wasn't focused on Brian or Paul. Maria's brown eyes were focused straight on Kane.

Lita's pulse jumped a few more notches. She had no idea what exactly Maria knew. She'd been there the night Edge hit her, and had gone to Kane with the story. But was that all she knew, if anything?

Lita tossed her hair back, acting her best like she didn't care. "So what? We both got assigned to random fan events. Its not like they're making actually do anything together. . . " Maria stared at Kane a moment longer before she turned back to Lita, her face brightening. "Oh well, I guess you're right. Oh my gosh! Did you hear about poor Jeff? His poor little leg! I feel so bad for him! He won't be here, do you think?" Lita glanced over her shoulder, to the empty chair Jeff should have been occupying. "I have no idea," she said softly. "I hope he gets better soon," Maria fretted, "it must be awfully hard to do a Swanton Bomb with a big cast on!" Lita groaned and shook her head, again cursing Edge. Not only did she get to do this on her own, but she had to sit by Maria.

After nearly 20 minutes of suffering through Maria's mindless prattle, the production crews started handing out permanent markers. Lita began to massage her right hand in preparation for the 2,000 autographs she'd be signing. She knew first hand how quickly tired muscles would seize up during marathon signings. She took her seat as the staff gave them their five minute warning.

The arrival of the fans started out gently, with only about a hundred or so eager faces crowding the table, jostling each other for autographs and pictures. After the first few hundred, the floodgates opened and the relatively large suite was packed with people. Lita felt like an exhibit at the zoo as everyone craned their necks to get a good view. And so it went. Fans moved through the line with aching slowness, pausing to gush to their favorites about how much they love them and seek as many photos as they can get. Lita felt her mood dive when she realized she wasn't getting nearly half the praises that even Maria was given. Most fans just looked at her with an air of 'Just sign the poster.'

Half an hour into the signing, a shriek at the door drew everyone's attention. Through the mass of people, Lita could see two people slowly making their way to the main table. Lita's heart sped up when she caught a glimpse of neon yellow hair. The entire room burst into a tremendous chant of "Hardy! Hardy! Hardy!" as Jeff and Matt arrived the wrestler's table. Jeff was smiling ear to ear, walking almost unhindered by his cast. Matt gripped his brother's arm, lending him support. Beside her, Maria jumped from her seat, nearly bowling Lita over in the process, and flung herself at Jeff. He barely had time to react before his arms were full of a bouncing and screaming Diva. Over his brother's shoulder, Matt winked at Lita. She met his gaze and smiled, relieved that they'd both made it. After a moment, Matt had to help pry Maria off, and help Jeff to his seat. After making sure Jeff was settled, Matt headed out. It took a few minutes for everything to calm down and get the line moving again.

"How are you doing?" Lita asked, soft enough that only Jeff could hear her. He smiled, passing the poster he'd just finished signing to her. "Great. Just can't wait for this damned leg to heal. How are you feeling?" She signed the poster and passed it to Maria. "On the mend." Under the table, she felt his hand on hers. She gave it a hard squeeze, silently affirming that she was alright. Lita's heart lightened considerably at knowing he was okay. She was able to chill out for the rest of the signing and even found she was enjoying herself. By the time the last fan had gone through the line, the show was scheduled to start in half an hour. The competing wresters were quickly ushered out, leaving everyone else to get back to the locker rooms at their leisure. She watched Kane head out first. His match was the first one up.

Lita hooked Jeff's arm at they walked back, allowing him to lean on her for support. She didn't particularly care if anyone started any gossip about seeing them together, she was simply glad he'd been able to make it. The pair walked slowly, their heads close together as they enjoyed the pleasure of being around each other. They'd barely gotten very far when Maria came bounding up behind them and threw her arm over Jeff's shoulder. "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you made it! I was so scared when I saw you fall, it looked horrible!" As Maria babbled on, Lita noticed a change in Jeff. His body seemed to grow warmer as he embraced Maria, ensuring her his leg wasn't going to fall off, and yes, he would be okay. Lita grinned. She knew Maria had a huge crush on Jeff, and it seemed he was getting one on her.

After getting back to the locker rooms, they dropped off Maria and headed for Jeff and Matt's room. Just before opening the door, the pair embraced, each glad the other was out of the hospital and on the mend. Jeff kissed her forehead and said, "If that jerk ever drops the ball again, just head this way. We won't put up with his bullshit, and neither should you." She smiled softly, growing sad as her departure loomed. "Don't worry about me. I can handle him," she said, watching Jeff head inside to join his brother. Once the door closed behind him, Lita was almost overwhelmed with longing for the days long passed. She didn't dwell for too long, knowing full and well she was due with Edge for his match shortly.

Back in her own dressing room, she found Edge already dressed and finishing up the last bit of his warm-up routine. "Well, how did it go?" he asked. She glared at him and said, "I'd flip you off, but my hand hurts too much." He tossed back his head and laughed. "Well I guess I dodged a bullet then!" While Edge finished his routine, Lita changed into the slinky black top she'd brought along and re-styled her hair for the show. Once they were both ready, a knock came at the door to signal it was time. Edge pulled on his long ring coat and grabbed Lita's hand. She cast one last glance in the mirror, putting an expression of contemptuous boredom on her face.

Together they stalked through the hallways, shoving aside long black drapes to make their entrance. They burst through a huge cloud of mist and a huge cry erupted from the crowd. Lita fed off their excitement as she allowed Edge to left her so she straddled his waist and began to kiss him. They held that pose for a long moment, feeding off each other's energy. Eventually she slid from his arms and they made their way to the ring. A moment later their purple clad opponent came through the entrance. Looking much more subdued than usual, Simon Dean approached the ring with trepidation; no longer carrying his bag full of power bars and sports drinks. Lita actually felt herself feeling sorry for the guy. He didn't have a chance against Edge.

Once he got to the ring, the ref called for the bell. Lita slid to the ground, giving encouragement to Edge over the apron. Much to both Edge and Lita's surprise, Dean tried to catch him with an early burst of offense that resulted in a quick roll-up. Much to Dean's horror, that wasn't enough to keep Edge down, earning him a 1-Count. After that, it wasn't pretty. Lita watched as Edge toyed with Dean, much as a cat would play with an injured bird shortly before the kill. Lita could only wince as Dean suffered not one, but two devastating spears that nearly took his head off. Mercifully Edge decided to end it there, covering him for a decisive three count. As Edge's music blared through the arena, Lita joined him in the ring for another kiss while Edge played to the fans.

She was genuinely smiling as thousands of fans cheered hard. Excitement quickly blossomed in her chest as she looked forward to her match with Mickie James, at their first Raw back in the states. She couldn't wait to earn cheers for herself.

After enough adoration to swell Edge's ego, they headed back to their locker room. Once they were alone, Edge pushed the sweaty hair from his face and got ready for a quick shower. While he wasn't looking, Lita quickly downed her next dose of medicine. "So hon," he called from the bathroom, "Do you have your own hotel here, or what?" Lita flinched. Her stuff was currently at Kane's hotel. _How am I going to explain this one? Oh sure honey, while you abandoned me while I was sick, Matt, Jeff and Kane took care of me. Oh, and I spent last night in Kane's arms!_

"I got my own place here."

Edge emerged from the shower a few minutes later, a smile on his face. "Well, would you like to stay there tonight, or would you like to come spend the night with me?" His expression was hopeful. She smiled coolly: "Sure hon." As Edge dressed, Lita hurriedly tried to come up with some excuse as to why he shouldn't come up to the hotel room, each one sounding more lame than the last. She watched him pack his bags in a mild state of panic, fearful she was about to get caught red-handed. As Edge ran a brush through his long hair, he asked, "Do you mind if we stayed to watch the main event?"

_Thank you God!_ "Sure babe. Who's up tonight?" she asked. "Well, I've got a match against RVD the same night you're going up against Mickie James. I think I ought to do a little scouting beforehand, you know, pick out his vulnerabilities." Edge spoke with determination. Lita knew this side of him well: the side that was cold, calculating and brutally efficient. If Edge could find the right weakness, he could exploit that to victory. Lita found herself feeling a little sorry for RVD, back so fresh from his injury.

Together they made there way to the gorilla, where several others were watching the event on a few closed-circuit television monitors. Lita waved a quick hello to Josh in his cubicle before joining Edge to watch the last few matches. While Edge was occupied watching the matches, Lita rehearsed her least-lame excuse for going to her hotel alone. As her nerves grew, she knew Edge wouldn't be her biggest problem. How on earth was she supposed to explain this to Kane?

They managed to escape the arena shortly before the mad rush of fans were able to get to their cars. When they arrived at the hotel, Lita tried not to stare at Kane's rented car, parked a few spaces away. Lita was preparing to maker her elaborate excuse when Edge said," Hey, while you're up there getting your crap, how about I hit up that restaurant a little ways back and pick us up some dinner?" Lita sagged against her seat in relief. "That sounds great. You go on ahead and I'll try to be down here when you get back," she said, quickly climbing from Edge's rental and heading in through main entrance.

"Well, that's one crisis averted. . . Let's try for number 2," she muttered to herself as she pressed the elevator button for her floor. As the car climbed higher and higher, Lita felt sicker and sicker, her stomach twisting up in knots. _He's going to take one look at me and figure exactly what's going on._ By the time she reached the right door, she was practically shaking. She paused, trying to steady her nerves. She tried to plan what she would say, but her mind went totally blank. Finally out of options, Lita opened the door and stepped inside.

Her breath caught in her chest when she saw Kane, freshly showered, reclining on the bed. When he spotted her, he sat up quickly and set his book on the nightstand, his hopeful eyes meeting hers. She quickly glanced away, immediately chastising herself. _Idiot!_ She brought her eyes back to his, but the damage had been done. He was still staring at her, but his eyes seemed to pierce straight through her. His expression changed and hardened. He lay back on the bed, glaring at her now. Cold. . . accusing. . .

"Kane, I-" she started, but the words died on her lips under his harsh gaze. "Don't bother," he growled. "We both know you're going back to _him_." Lita flinched at the way he said _him_. It stung to actually hear him say the words. "Just go. You don't want to keep him waiting too long."

Feeling like a scolded child, Lita packed her bags as quickly as she could. When she had finished, she drug her bags out the door and set them in the hallway. She turned back to Kane and tried to swallow the lump of emotion in her throat. Softly she said, "I'm sorry. . ." He looked up at her and the disappointment in his eyes nearly killed her. "I'm sorry," she mumbled again before leaving.

The door shut behind her with a _snap_, leaving Kane alone in silence. He threw his head back, cracking his skull against the wooden headboard. "Damn him. . ." In his mind he chastised himself: _You knew she'd go back to him eventually. You couldn't keep her forever. She never had a reason to stay._ White hot rage burst through his veins as he grabbed the nightstand and sent it flying across the room. It landed with a crash, sending the lamp and his book to the floor. A small square photograph came loose from the book and settled face down by his feet. He bent down to retrieve the photograph and turned it over reverently in his hands.

Lita's face was beautiful in the soft moonlight that shone through the window she was standing by. Through her white silk robe, the curve of her swollen belly was obvious. She looked sad as she gazed out the window, but beneath her sadness, her strength shone through. He'd taken the photo only three days before the night she lost the baby. Since then, it had become one of his most treasured possessions. One last piece of something that was gone forever.

Kane's fingers gently traced the outline of her form as he moved to the hotel room's window that overlooked the parking lot. Down below, he spotted Lita hauling her bags to a waiting car. He watched as she loaded her stuff and climbed in. As the vehicle sped off, Kane threw a huge fist into the plastered wall, wincing at the pain. "Damn you," he bellowed, the glass of the window echoing his voice.

"Damn you for everything. . . "


	20. Chapter 20

Goodnight Lita 20

The final days of the European tour passed quickly, culminating in Monday Night Raw live from Berlin. There was a definite feel of anxious frustration among the roster as everyone eagerly awaited the end of the show. Once wrestlers were done for the night, they showered and dressed as quickly as possible, congregating near the performer's exit, clutching their plane tickets. Flights were booked as soon after the show's end as possible; everyone itching to get home for a few precious days of rest.

By 10:30, Lita was perched beside Edge on one of the numerous equipment crates lining the main arena hallway. Their segment for the show was already over; neither having had any matches. Instead, Lita had accompanied Edge to the ring for his segment, "The Cutting Edge." His guest was Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin, who was set to put his title up against Carlito next week. While Edge talked, Lita had stood in the corner of the ring, occasionally tossing her hair and giving the camera sultry stares. Things had gotten interesting when Raw newcomer Carlito had come out to intimidate Benjamin. When the segment came down to blows, Lita had beat a hasty retreat out of harm's way while Edge delivered spears to both men in the ring.

So now they waited. Lita fished her phone from her bag and quickly typed up a text-message to her brother, making sure he would be there to pick her up at the airport. Edge was engaged with the same thing, making sure last minute travel arrangements were all set to go. As the minutes ticked by, the crowd of anxious wrestlers grew. Rumors had been circulating that night of some sort of 'surprise announcement' after the show. Lita really didn't care if the surprise was a brand new Ferrari, she just wanted to go home. She finished her message and put the phone back in her bag. Edge reached over to grasp her hand, bringing it to his lips. Lita relaxed as he smiled at her. He asked, "Glad to be headed home?" She smiled, laughing as his goatee tickled her hand. "I'll just be glad to have a few days away from all of this," she said, nodding her head at the other wrestlers.

The main event seemed to take forever. By the time 11:05 came around, both Orton and Michaels stumbled through the curtain and headed for the locker room, showering and dressing in record time. As soon as the last fan left the arena, the setup crew attacked the ring and entrance, just as eager as the wrestlers to head home. Ten minutes later, the entire roster had assembled, grumbling about one more distraction keeping them from their freedom. Lita groaned in disgust as Eric Bischoff appeared, followed by a suited lackey she recognized from WWE Headquarters. One everyone had quieted enough for him to speak, Bishchoff made his announcement.

"Well, I bet everyone's excited to head home." He was interrupted by a massive cheer that lasted several moments. He nodded his head. "Yeah, I know, It's great, isn't it? And we've got three whole days before the next event. Man, won't that be nice?" There was another round of cheers, but Lita smelled blood in the water. A knot of dread formed in her stomach as Bischoff continued. "But I want everyone to stop and take a minute to think about the little children who are sick, stuck in a hospital, wishing they could go home too." Lita rolled her eyes in disgust. So there was the catch.

Despite trying his best to appear sympathetic, Bischoff's slimy and despicable personality shone through. Beside her, Edge whined, "I am not giving my day up to visit a stupid hospital. We've done enough for one tour." The General Manager continued: "Now, we initially thought this wouldn't be possible when we booked the tour, but we managed o work out an agreement with the Children's Hospital in Berlin." Several groans came up from the roster. He continued, undaunted. "Now, since we didn't think we could do it at first, we didn't assign any of you for mandatory attendance. Which means I need five loving and brave souls to take an extra day and bring joy to the poor, sick little children." 

"Yeah. Well good luck with that shit," Edge scoffed, crossing his arms. The roster grew indignant, voicing their displeasure. From across the room Trish called, "And what are we supposed to tell our families?" Bischoff smiled and shook his head. "Well, I know some of us have more pressing family demands than others." He shot a dirty look at Trish before he continued. "The WWE has graciously agreed to provide extra hotel rooms, transportation to the event and new plane tickets home for those who choose to participate." The crowd fell silent. Everyone seemed to be weighing the benefits of staying. A voice suddenly broke the silence: "I'll go."

Everyone turned to face Jeff with surprise written on their faces. Even his brother was gaping at him like he was crazy. Edge gave a clipped bark of laughter. "Glutton for punishment, isn't he?" Lita felt a knot of anger form in her chest as she turned to glare at Edge. He caught her gaze and threw up his hands. "Oh what? I'm sorry about all the poor kids and everything, but I want to go home! If the Hardly Boy wants to give up his day off, whatever. But I'm not doing it!"

Bischoff's voice rang out: "Edge! Are you our next volunteer?" All the color seemed to drain from the Rated-R Superstar's face. "Well, uh, no? Not exactly. . ." Lita went as white as Edge when Bischoff leveled his eyes on her. "Lita then! Now isn't that sweet? Ladies, you ought to follow Lita's example, taking one for her man." Trish turned, staring at Lita with a look of unholy glee on her face. Lita buried her face in her hands, moaning, "Shit, shit, shit!" As Bischoff continued his appeal to the crowd, the suit from HQ came over to pull Lita into the green room, where the volunteers were to assemble. Jeff was already waiting, and gave Lita a big smile when she appeared.

Sullenly she dropped onto a couch, pissed beyond belief. "It isn't that bad," he said, knowing her well enough to see how upset she was. "What a fucking prick," she spat, wishing painful death on Eric Bischoff. Jeff shrugged. "Ah well. So the guy's a jerk. Don't let it get to you." Lita thought about all the times she wanted to punch him straight in the mouth; her body itching to head back out and do just that. After a moment, the next volunteer entered the room. Maria bounded over to Jeff, a silly smile on her face. Lita rolled her eyes as the bubbly Diva draped herself across Jeff's lap, staring up at him with doleful brown eyes. When Jeff began to blush, Lita pulled her messenger bag over her face. For several minutes Maria chatted about "how cool and neat and special and nice and cool and exciting" this was going to be. Someone's watch alarm went off, signaling it was now midnight. Lita chewed her lip in frustration, wishing two others would just take the bullet and volunteer already. A moment later, Lita got her wish.

She heard Maria gasp: "_You_ volunteered? A deep voice simply replied, "I spent most of my childhood in hospitals." Lita felt her blood turn cold at the sound of that stony voice. Not _him. Please don't let it be him. . ._

"Ooooh," Maria replied, "So you know what all the poor kids are going through, so then you can make them happy!" A cold, low laugh rang through the room, but nothing else. Lita felt her hands tremble as she fought to keep her body from launching into panic mode. She didn't dare move her bag away from her eyes; actually seeing him sitting there would just make everything too real. She wasn't ready to handle that yet.

Since leaving Innsbruck, Lita had thrown herself back into her old routine with gusto. Edge didn't seem to feel anything had changed, which comforted Lita. She needed him now. There was no doubt in her mind that all bets were off between herself and Kane. She still remembered the murderous look in his eyes as she left him in that hotel room for Edge. She knew it was stupid of her, to think that anything good could have come from getting involved with him again. All she'd done was exacerbate a situation that should have stayed dead and buried. But here she was again, haunted by a man who should have meant nothing to her. She dove back into her role as the Rated-R Diva, desperate for something to do to keep herself busy and her mind occupied. With Edge back in her life, she found it easier to slip into her Rated-R persona. It wasn't that she was an uncaring bitch all the time; only when she needed to be to protect herself. And God, did she need protecting now.

Eric Bishchoff's voice suddenly rang through the room. "Well, with the addition of Mr. Y2J here, we have our five _gracious_ volunteers." Lita knew she couldn't hide behind her bag forever. She took a deep breath and sat up, careful to keep her eyes focused on the general manager. Even though she didn't turn around, she could still feel him there, his eyes burning into the back of her head. "I can't begin to tell you all how much the company appreciates this, but I can tell you there will be an incentive in return for your participation," Bishchoff continued. "Well, now I've got a plane home to catch, so I'll leave you with Mitch, who will explain everything." Without so much as another word, Bischoff headed out the door. "Jerk," Lita muttered.

The suit from WWE HQ came in, carrying a portfolio. "May I say again, how glad, we, uh. . ." He faltered as he received glares from the chosen five. "Uh, right. I've got your information packets," he continued, passing around several manila envelopes. "Your itinerary and tonight's hotel bookings are in there as well as-" He was cut off by an ear-piercing cry from Maria who had pulled a small plastic card from her envelope and was now waving it in the air. "Yes, and the credit cards. That is for your meals and your transportation, and also for your new plane tickets home. There is a $5,000 limit, so try to keep it under that." Lita pulled her own card from her envelope, smiling. Mitch visibly relaxed as everyone's mood brightened. "We want to make this as painless as possible. We just want to th-" His voice trailed off as Jericho, now having all the information he needed, stood and headed out the door, followed closely by Lita. After Maria and Jeff hobbled out, Kane followed, leaving Mitch alone to thank an empty room for it's participation.

Lita stuffed the envelope into her bag, heading back to Edge, who was still sitting where she left him. Neither said anything as they headed for his car. He seemed rather subdued; knowing he had left Lita to the wolves to save his own ass. She ignored it for now, her spirits lifted by the $5,000 of the company's money in her pocket. Once they arrived back at the hotel, they both finished packing; Edge for his plane home, Lita for transfer to her next hotel. Once they were done, Edge sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned Lita to him. She obliged, lowering herself onto his lap and crossing her ankles behind his back.

"I had no idea he was going to jump on you like that," he said, his gaze cast to the floor. Lita knew this was the best sort of apology she was going to get out of him. She shook her head, "He's just a dick. You know that. He's never liked me and he just wanted one more way to screw me over." Edge pressed a light kiss to her cheek. "And I definitely had no idea that Kane was going to volunteer either. Do you think he did it just to be close to you?" Edge asked, real concern in his eyes. She had no doubt Kane's sudden volunteerism had everything to do with her. "How the hell am I supposed to know what goes on in his head?" she retorted, rolling her eyes. "I'll talk to Chris. Make sure he keeps an eye out for you just in case that _sick fuck_ tries anything," Edge said, his protective side coming to light. Lita balked at the suggestion. _All I need is someone else watching me like a hawk. . . _"I don't think Kane is stupid enough to start shit with me again." Edge made to protest, but a small alarm issued from his cell phone. It was time to go.

Edge leaned forward and kissed her long and deep. Lita responded eagerly, pressing her body closer to his. After a long moment, he broke the embrace and helped her stand. "I'm going to miss you," he said, the sadness palpable in his voice. She gave him a lingering hug. "I'll miss you too. . ." Together they hauled their bags down to Edge's rental and checked out of the hotel. Both were silent during the ride, prompting Lita to turn on the radio. One of Edge's cd's kicked in, filling the car with music.

_Am I your one and only desire?_

_Am I the reason you breathe? _

_Or am I the reason you cry?_

_Always. Always. Always. _

_I just can't live without you. _

_I love you, I hate you._

_I can't get around you. _

_I breath you, I taste you._

_I can't live without you._

_I just can't take anymore, _

_This life of solitude-_

Lita listened to the words, each one cutting her a little bit deeper. She suddenly sprang forward and jabbed the button to turn the radio off. "What the hell was that?" Edge asked, "You not like Saliva that much?" Lita smiled, trying to play it off. "No, I've just heard that song way too many fucking times." Apparently satisfied, Edge turned his attention back to the road. Lita sat back in her seat and sulked. No matter what she did, there was always something around to bring her mind back to _him_. She couldn't wait for a few days away from him, away from everybody, to sort out her thoughts and get her head right.

A few minutes later, they arrived at the hotel where the five volunteers would be staying the night. They couldn't linger over goodbyes, with Edge's flight departure looming so close. After he drove off, Lita headed to check in. The hotel was much nicer than most wrestlers chose to stay in, which was definitely a nice change. Once she made it to her suite, she was very pleased by the extremely comfortable bed and garden bath tub. _If only Edge had decided to come with me. We could have had major fun in here_, she thought. It was already well past midnight, and their schedule had them getting up relatively early, prompting Lita to call it a night. Leaving the majority of her luggage untouched, she cleaned up and changed into a hoodie and yoga pants. She settled down into the ultra-comfortable bed and flipped on the television. After a few minutes of German television, of which she understood nothing, she decided to grab some ice from the machine in the hall for the morning and then go to bed.

A few minutes later she was headed back to her room, carrying her now full ice bucket when she was suddenly jerked back as a hand hooked onto the back of her hoodie. Ice chips went flying as Lita was pulled into a room only a few doors down from her own. She instinctively cried out, but a large hand quickly clamped down over her mouth. The door slammed shut behind her as she was thrown up against it, her skull coming into contact with the hard wood, causing stars to burst before her eyes. After a painful moment, her vision cleared revealing who had the nerve to grab her.

Had her mouth not been covered by a hand, it would have fallen open in surprise. Kane's bloodshot eyes stared into hers, completely unreadable. He looked awful; like he hadn't slept since she left him in Innsbruck. A cold shiver of fear ran down her back as he gently raised his other hand to tangle in her hair. For the briefest moment, she thought she saw sadness in his eyes as he gently caressed her. But that illusion was quickly shattered as she saw his face contort in anger as hand moved from her mouth to wrap around her throat. Panic quickly set in as the tightness of his grip cut off her ability to breathe. She tried to plead with him to stop, but she couldn't force sound past his strong grip. She began to struggle, lashing out with kicks and her nails, desperate for him to stop as the seconds passed. But he held strong, withstanding her blows. Fearful tears streaked down her cheeks as she actually started to believe he would actually kill her here and now.

But the pressure suddenly slacked off, allowing Lita to gasp down a beautiful breath of cool air. His hands pulled away from her, leaving Lita to slump against the wall, sucking down air. Kane moved back, staring down at her for a moment, his expression furious, but his eyes were full of so much sadness it hurt Lita to look at him. He stumbled back, collapsing onto on of the chaises near the door. As Lita's pulse returned to normal, she watched him warily. He looked like the victim of an extreme match after suffering one too many chair shots to the head. She had no earthly idea what was happening. After a long, tense moment, his eyes focused, turning back to Lita. She felt her breath catch in her throat as his face grew cold and expressionless; better than any mask he ever wore. She knew this was when he was most dangerous; when you couldn't read him at all.

Lita cried out in fear as he suddenly vaulted from his seat and lunged at her, the back of her head contacting the hard door again, temporarily blurring her vision. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the first blow to fall. But it never came.

Lita gasped in surprise when he crushed his mouth to hers, pulling her body flush against his. Her mind reeled as his hands caressed her, the force of his kiss bruising her lips. He pulled back after a moment, his hands moving to caress her face as he brushed the tears from her cheeks. He watched as her chin began to quiver as she tried to hold back more tears. His hands turned gentle, pulling away her hoodie to give him access to her neck and shoulders. Lita's breath caught in her throat as his lips and tongue found the best spots that caused her to shiver, earning Kane a small moan of pleasure. He returned to her lips, encouraged now, his tongue softly parting her lips to taste the sweetness of her mouth. Rational thought quickly fled Lita's mind as heat began to flood her body that instinctively pressed closer to Kane.

Their embrace quickly became heated, his lips and hands growing bolder with each passing moment as Lita encouraged him with her soft moans and gasps of pleasure. She lifted her legs around his waist as he carried her across the room to the bed. As he settled his body between her willing thighs, Lita's hands moved softly over his chest and stomach, lingering at the top of his pants. The feel of her fingertips only encouraged him as he kissed her again, savoring the way her body arched into his, desperate for contact. He began to rock her hips against hers, earning the most beautiful cries as she caressed him, her fingers fumbling at the closure of his jeans.

He smiled as he kissed her deeply, savoring the heat and softness of her body. She bit her lip in anticipation as she finally undid the button, now reaching for the zipper. Kane sat up slightly to look at her: the beautiful brown eyes he loved so were hidden between half-closed lids, her face and chest flushed red as she reached for him. His mouth curled into grin as he dipped his head to kiss her deeply before whispering something in her ear.

"Tell me you don't love me."

Lita's body stiffened as her blood turned to ice in her veins. _He can't be serious_. She stared up at him as he looked down at her with curious indifference on his face. He watched her lips move with no sound for several moments as the color drained from her face. Finally she got out a soft, "What?" He laughed, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I asked you to tell me you don't love me." This time his eyes were quite serious. Tremors pounded through her body as she quickly pushed away from Kane, landing on the other side of the bed. He sat up to face her as she stared at him. Even though she was silent, her eyes were full of questions he wouldn't answer. He watched her silently, watching their earlier passion being replaced with hot anger. Her eyes burned at him with a hatred words couldn't express.

In a sudden flurry of movement, she quickly retrieved her hoodie from the floor and pulled it on, zipping it up to the top. She groped for her keycard she had dropped as she headed for the door. When her hands touched the cold metal of the doorknob, she turned back for a moment. "Tell me you don't love me?" she spat, fury in her eyes. She laughed, a harsh, bitter sound. "I fucking _hate_ you."

The door slammed closed behind her, leaving Kane in silence. A moment later another door slammed in the hall. Kane climbed from the bed and moved to the door. He splayed a hand over the cool wood, pausing to fight back the painful desire that was still pounding in his veins. He heaved a deep sigh. His body was still screaming to take her, but his mind knew better. There was no going back this time. He couldn't handle the beautiful hope that blossomed inside when they were together; and the crushing pain when she inevitably left him for Edge. This time he had made sure it wouldn't happen again.

He hadn't planed it exactly like this. But he couldn't resist that one last taste. She was the best drug he could have ever dreamed of. The most toxic, the most addictive chemical; destroying him so sweetly as she worked her magic in his veins. But he couldn't deny himself that one last hit, one last blissful moment before he rid himself of her forever.

**Song lyrics are from "Always" by Saliva. **

**I'm sorry for the brevity of this chapter, which is really only half of what I'd been planning. But then I realized that tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of Goodnight Lita on . I almost can't believe it. I almost never posted this story. And it wouldn't have progressed past Chapter 8. But after I finally got up the nerve to post it; I couldn't be happier with the results. This story exists now because of everyone that has taken the time to send me a review and tell me what you think or favorite or alert my story. I can't believe how everyone has stuck with this story for a year; encouraging me with every post you make. I want to thank all you authors, who help inspire me with your own fics, and especially to punkrock dreamer, the first to give me validation on this crazy little venture. I want to tell all of my amazing reviewers who have been with me since the beginning how much you mean to me. Every comment you care to send me only encourages me more than you can know. So, to DarkAngelElektra, Chokeslammer, Irishclover, Orismoris, ViciousCreature, takerschick, Medieval Mystic, Divine Arion, Anarki, lysapot, Kayos Terum, YakuzaSho, KageMori, anubislover, Gpunk and bangel 4ever, THANK YOU!!!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Well here we are, three months later. I apologize for taking way too long to post this chapter. But I have a good excuse. I got married on February 20****th****, and we only got back from the honeymoon on Sunday. I was super-busy and overworked before the wedding, which explains why I had virtually no time to work on this chapter. But through everything, I kept plotting for the time when I could finally get some writing done. So thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy! It won't take so long next time, I promise. -jf**

Goodnight Lita 21

Lita's eyes snapped open as the shrill, jarring ring of the hotel phone woke her from a dead sleep. She moaned in protest, hoping that she was just imagining the phone ringing in the pre-dawn morning hours. After a few moments, she decided to give in and picked up the phone on the sixth ring. She tried to answer with a 'hello' but it came out more of a muffled groan. A cheerful female voice greeted her:

"Good morning ma'am. I trust you slept well. This is the concierge desk with your wake up call. Transportation for you and your co-workers will be arriving in one hour, and you are requested to meet them in the lobby at that time. Thank you and have a lovely day." The line went dead with a click.

"Okay," Lita moaned as she dropped the received and rolled over, "That was sort-of rude. . ." She buried her face in the covers, unwilling to face the new day. If she didn't fear punishment for no-showing, she would have already be on a plane back to Atlanta to sulk and lick her wounds. The prospects of a full day of fan appearance drudgery wasn't so bad, but the prospects of sharing them with Kane made it seem like hell. She honestly couldn't decide if she'd able to be around him without loosing her head and blowing up at him.

Lita could feel the blood rush to her face as his face swam into her mind's eye. "How more fucked up could this be?" she asked herself angrily as she suddenly sat up and flung the covers away. "First you're a minute from fucking him, and then you're screaming how much you hate him," she muttered as she undressed, hurling her clothes towards her suitcase. Her anger only intensified as she realized that one hour would not be enough time for her to get ready. She cursed Vince McMahon and the WWE while she showered, which helped to make her feel slightly better.

She dried her hair as much as she possibly could, and did a minimal makeup job. She took advantage of Edge's absence and dressed how she wished, with her favorite neon purple fishnet top over a simple black tank top, black cargo pants and boots. After managing to get all of this done within her hour limit, she headed for the lobby. When she stepped from the elevator, she saw that she was not the first to arrive. Jeff and Maria were sharing a couch, while Jericho sat opposite them on another. Lita immediately noticed the Styrofoam coffee cups each held. Her mood perked up at the prospects of coffee. She quickly located the pot and poured herself a cup, savoring the energy infusion it provided, something she desperately needed.

When she turned back to find a seat, she almost laughed as she saw the effects this early call was having on everyone. Patches of soap still glistened in Jericho's wet hair as he clutched his coffee cup like it was a precious antique. The hour prep time had apparently not been enough time for Maria; who was frantically applying eyeliner using a small purse mirror. Even though the Diva was still playing make-up-catch-up, her hair was styled to perfection. Lita smirked as she imagined Maria holding a curling iron in one hand, eyeliner in the other, unable to choose which was the most urgent matter. Beside her, Jeff was stretched out, his head lolling back as he issued the occasional light snore. Lita smiled, remembering well that Jeff and early mornings did not go well together. If Jeff had his say, the two would never meet. His coffee was perched precariously on his knee, loosely held in his hand. As she moved to sit on a nearby chair, she reached down and took the cup from his grasp, saving Jeff from a scalded leg.

The large grandfather clock in the lobby had just chimed 7 o'clock when a small shuttle pulled up at the entrance. When the doors opened, Mitch bounded up, a huge smile on his face. Lita groaned in disgust. How could anyone have that much energy so early in the morning? The WWE suit strode through the lobby, his smile widening when he spotted his wrestlers. A moment later his smile faltered as he realized he was one wrestler short. Nobody bothered to greet him, so he spoke first. "Has anyone seen Kane?"

His questioning eyes moved to Lita, who visible bristled. "What the fuck are you looking at me for?" she spat. Everyone turned to look at her as well, including a newly conscious Jeff. Mitch wilted under her gaze, clearly understanding this woman could easily kick his ass. "So, no Kane? Anyone?" he asked again, glancing at each of the others.

"Hey, there you go," Jericho said, jerking his thumb in the direction of the elevators. Kane stepped out, looking just as gloomy as everyone else. Lita immediately bowed her head, unwilling to look at him as a knot of emotion formed in her stomach. Even though she didn't look up, she could feel his eyes on her.

Mitch's attitude brightened at the arrival. "Great! Now that everyone is here, we can get going!" Five sets of eyes rolled as Mitch ushered them out the door. Everyone staked out their own seats in the shuttle and got comfortable. Once everyone had settled, Mitch turned to them, hoping to make a few announcements. Simultaneously, five sets of headphones were pulled on. Grumbling to himself about having to babysit a bunch of overgrown children, Mitch turned around to sulk.

As they drove, Lita began to watch the always humorous show of moving make-up application in the seat across from hers. So far, Maria had been doing a fairly good job of balancing her makeup bag on her knees as she held her mirror in one hand while lining her lips with the other. Everything had been going reasonably well until the shuttle hit the mother of all potholes. As everyone on the bus was launched into the air, Maria accidentally drew a bright pink line straight up her cheek. Lita's laughter died in her throat as Jeff reached out to gently cup Maria's face, surveying the damage. Lita's heart clutched as Jeff wet his thumb and tenderly wiped away the mark. The redhead looked away as Jeff went in for a kiss; only to realize that she wasn't the only one watching.

Kane was watching Lita intently; his expression slightly amused, if it was anything. Lita felt her heart skip a few beats before she was able to respond. She shot him a hot look and mouthed, '_Fuck you_.' She saw a spark of anger in his eyes before he turned away.

Lita slunk down in her seat, out of view of everyone else as her face turned bright red in embarrassment. This bus, this day, this whole stupid adventure was becoming too oppressive. She focused on her Ipod for a while, taking great care to choose the loudest, angriest song she could. After turning the volume as loud as she could bear, she closed her eyes and tried to take her mind elsewhere. But as hard as she tried to concentrate on anything but Kane, she found herself unable to think about anything but the Big Red Machine. Even from her position in the seat, she could still see the back of his shaved head, bobbing slightly with the motion of the shuttle. Her hands itched with the urge to smack him; as her tongue formed sharp words she longed to stab him with.

The unfairness of last night ate away at her. The more time passed in their twisted relationship, the more and more Lita got the impression he was playing with her. As she glared at the back of his head, she felt like she finally understood what was going on.

_You were just looking for weakness. Waiting for the one night when I felt vulnerable without Edge, you planted the seeds in my mind that there may be something still between us, aside from murderous rage. . ._

_You really had me going for a while. God, you had me thinking that I could still care for you. And when I finally fell for it, for you, like a chump, you had your opportunity for revenge._

_How perfect was your revenge? Take the woman who completely shattered your heart, make her care for you again, and then crush her like she crushed you? _

_I can't decide who is worse. . . you for doing it. . . or me for falling for it. _

Before too much longer the shuttle arrived at the monolithic grey building that housed the children's hospital. Lita pulled off her headphones as the shuttle pulled up to the entrance. The wrestlers watched warily as a flock of nurses wearing pink scrubs rushed out to greet them. Lita and the other wrestlers steeled themselves for the ordeal: _lots of smiles, we're so honored to be here, you guys are the real superstars, blah blah blah. . . _The doors to the shuttle opened, and the wrestlers emerged to a cheering crowd. They all put on their best smiles as they were quickly ushered inside.

The next six hours proved difficult for all involved. By the time they emerged from the hospital, everyone was tired and depressed. They all boarded the shuttle silently, ignoring Mitch as he happily greeted them, chattering on and on about how much this meant for the kids and how much the company appreciated their efforts. Lita glared at him as she found her seat. He hadn't gone with them. He didn't know what it was like smiling and laughing with suffering children, some that didn't have much longer to live. They had all done their best for the kids, signing everything that was offered, giving hugs and words of encouragement and smiling for photos until their cheeks ached. So far, everyone was dealing with their emotions in different ways. Maria was crying silently, her face curled against Jeff's neck as he held her, his own face looking drawn and tired. Jericho had pulled on sunglasses to hide his red eyes as his lips set into a grim line. Even Kane seemed a bit subdued, seemingly lost in memories of his own painful childhood spent in hospitals.

Lita wiped away a stray tear that managed to fall, despite her best efforts not to cry. Inside she felt numb, her heart aching for the kids. As the shuttle carried them back to the hotel, Lita pulled the hood of her jacket over her head and settled into her seat. She couldn't help but glance over at Jeff and Maria, her throat becoming thick with longing for someone to hold her. She closed her eyes, trying to remind herself that she was homebound. But even the prospect of going home did little to lighten her mood. She found herself glancing up to see the back of Kane's head, which was slightly bowed. For one fleeting second she craved the comfort of his arms around her.

But the rational part of her mind quickly buried that thought as the burning pain of last night's events filled her mind. Thankfully the trip back to the hotel went quickly, raising everyone's spirit. When they finally arrived, everyone rushed to get out, leading to a play fight between Lita and Jericho as they tried to squeeze though the narrow door at the same time. They ran, laughing through the lobby, waiting by the elevators for the others to catch up. Everyone hurried to their own rooms to pack or take a last minute shower.

It was nearing 5 p.m. when the shuttle dropped the wrestlers off at the airport. As the group scattered, heading off to find their respective airlines, Lita noticed the airport was virtually deserted. Lita hurried to the American Airlines counter, worried that there was some sort of problem. When she got to the desk, nobody was there. Lita felt her pulse begin to pound, fearing some sort of disaster must have happened. After a few minutes a young woman emerged from behind the desk, much to Lita's relief. The girl looked up at the Diva in surprise. "May I help you?" she asked in heavily accented English. Lita sighed in relief as she told the girl, "I need to pick up my boarding pass for Flight 519."

"Oh," the girl said softly, glancing at Lita nervously. "You haven't heard then?" "Heard what?" Lita asked warily. The girl shook her head as she said, "The pilot's union is on strike as of 10 a.m. this morning." Lita stared at her, hoping the girl was joking. The expression on her face told her this was definitely not a joke. Lita moaned in frustration. _Oh, fuck me. . ._

"Is it just this airline? I mean, can I get another flight?" Lita asked, praying there was another way out of here. The girl looked at Lita with sympathy as she told her, "All the airlines are closed. Even the private companies are out. And they have no idea when things will be settled with the union. We had a few thousand passengers stranded here this morning, but they've all headed for hotels to wait this out." Lita dropped her carry-on bag, unable to believe her luck. First she gets drafted for the hospital visit while everyone else goes home, and when she finally gets her turn, there were no damn pilots.

The girl spoke again, "I'm sorry about all this. If you wanted to try and wait it out here, you are more than welcome to. But. . . I don't recommend it. Would you like for me to try and find you an available hotel?" Although the last thing she wanted was to stay here any longer, Lita said yes. As the girl moved to her computer and began typing furiously, Lita tried to keep her anger under control. _Why hadn't someone thought to mention this earlier? This had to have been all over the news. Now we're all fucked. _

Several long minutes passed before the girl sighed, "That's what I was afraid of." She looked up at Lita sadly. Lita's heart began to pound all the faster as she steeled herself for more bad news. "This jam at the airport has tied up hotels for miles. Everyone due to fly today has taken up every room I could find." Lita's first instinct was to scream at something. As she struggled to suppress her rage, she managed to tell the girl, "Well. . . I guess I'll. . . wait. . . over there." Dragging her suitcase behind her, she stalked over to an empty row of seats. She wanted to cry with the unfairness of it all. Worse, she didn't even have her laptop to look for other hotel rooms.

Lita was still sulking fifteen minutes later when she spotted Jeff and Maria hobbling towards her, their progress hindered by their luggage. Lita immediately jumped up to help them, reliving Maria of the bags and suitcases she was lugging while helping support Jeff. "You too, huh?" Jeff asked, an ironic smile on his face. Lita rolled her eyes and nodded. "Is that even possible? To run out of hotel rooms?" she asked as they walked back to her seat. "It is when the 2005 International Conference of Psychology and the German Library Association Conference are happening in the same place," Jeff said, laughing at the irony. "You've got to be kidding me!" Lita exclaimed. For several minutes the trio sat together, examining Jeff's cast, which was now covered in signatures. At the hospital, Jeff had been the most popular visitors of the kids, every one of them asking to sign his cast. "I barely got them to leave any spots for any of my friends to sign," Jeff laughed, pointing to a few blank spots.

Lita and Maria took a long time selecting their signature spots, allowing themselves to forget their situation for a little while. Maria's surprised cry drew Lita's attention to Kane, who had just come into view. Judging from the scowl on his face, he had failed to find a room either. When he finally reached them, Jeff asked, "No luck either?" Stoically Kane shook his head as he sat down beside the others. "So, are we just supposed to sleep here until the union gets their ducks in a row?" Maria asked. Nobody answered. Nobody wanted to admit that that was probably what was going to end up happening.

The last wrestler didn't arrive for another twenty minutes. When Jericho reached them, he asked, "So you guys all struck out with the hotel situation?" Lita raised one eyebrow. That was a loaded question. Jericho smiled at her. "Nice People's Eyebrow impression there," he quipped as a grin spread on his face. "You got a room," Lita said, putting two and two together. Jericho's smile widened as he said proudly, "I got the last room in the city."

Everyone yelled with joy, relieved that they'd been saved from an uncomfortable night in the terminal. As the laugher died down, Jericho asked, "Who said you all are invited?" Kane stood, glowering down at Jericho. "Who says I won't kill you and take the room for myself?" Jericho visibly balked under Kane's gaze. "Hey man, I was only joking," he said, backing away from the Big Red Machine. Once it became clear nobody was about to be murdered, everyone relaxed.

Surprisingly, the hotel Jericho had found was only about 10 minutes away from the airport. The lobby of the hotel was crowded with people, others from the airport who decided begging for a room in person was more effective than begging over the phone. Jericho checked them all in, earning glares from the others. They all crammed into the elevator with their luggage, each savoring their luck to have a bed tonight.

The room was large and beautifully decorated. One side of the room contained two queen beds, while the other had a plush couch, television and desk. Two huge bay windows allowed the light of the orange sunset to stream into the room. Once everyone had drug their luggage into the room, the battle for sleeping spots began. Nobody bothered to challenge Kane when he took the first bed, but Lita's claim of the second brought on a barrage of protests.

"I don't think so!" Jericho cried. "My hotel room, my bed," he claimed indignantly, watching as Lita stretched like a contented cat over the coverlet. "I don't think so," Lita said, smiling up at Jericho through half-lidded eyes. "Besides, I never really got you back for that little bet you had going with Christian," she said. Jericho threw up his hands and said, "Oh whatever! How does that matter with anything?" When Maria jumped onto the bed beside Lita and began bouncing up and down, Jericho withdrew his protests. "Hell, I'm all for you and Maria sleeping in the same bed. But only if you do it naked." Maria sent a pillow hurtling at Jericho's head as Lita rolled her eyes. Jericho easily dodged the projectile and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really feel like fighting about this right now. I just think that as the provider of this room, I'm entitled to a bed."

With the dispute over for a while, Jeff and Maria decided to head out to a mall they'd seen while en route to the hotel. Lita declined to join them, preferring to catch up on the sleep she missed out on the night before. Jericho settled down in front of the television, as Kane opened a book. Lita managed to catnap for an hour when Jericho gently poked her awake. He led her out to the room's balcony, closing the door firmly behind them. Her mind was still foggy with sleep when Jericho asked her, "I'm going to head out and do some stuff. Did you want to come with me?" Lita looked at him oddly, wondering why that question required them come outside. The concern in his face made her realize something was up. "Did Edge talk to you?" she asked. Chris nodded. "He was concerned about you being left with Kane on this trip. He told me to keep an eye out for you. But if you're alright being here, that's fine."

Lita stood silently for a moment before she answered, "Look, I'm glad you and Edge are so concerned for me. But Kane's not stupid. He knows better than to start anything with me. Besides, I'm so tired. . . I'd rather sleep than go shopping right now." Jericho reached out and gripped her shoulder in a friendly manner. "Hey, that's fine. If you are okay with being here, that's fine by me." The pair embraced before heading back inside. Neither notice the hot look they received from Kane as Jericho headed for the bathroom, and Lita for the bed. After a few minutes, Jericho headed out, leaving Kane and Lita in silence.

She lay facedown in bed, barely breathing for several minutes as she waited for him to say something. But the silence was loud in her ears, the only sound from Kane was the occasional turning of the page. She had half-expected him to ignore her completely. Besides, what was she expecting after last night? _He must have something to say. I'm not asking for a freaking apology. . . Scream at me, I don't care. But just say something!_ But as she lay waiting for words that never came, her temper got the better of her.

Silently she cursed him, her anger growing with every quiet moment. _How dare you! What gives you the God-damned right to threw me away whenever you please? I may have fucked you over, but toying with my emotions is just fucking sick!_

Before she even realized what she was doing, she had vaulted from the bed and crossed over to where Kane sat. He stared up at her silently as she hauled back her hand and slapped him as hard as she possibly could.

Kane's head snapped to the left, a large red mark already blossoming on his cheek. Lita gaped down at him in horror, unable to believe she had the balls to hit him. Even more, she couldn't believe he wasn't already choking the life from her body. For an endless moment he didn't move, apparently still processing what had happened. Slowly his head rotated back to face her. He looked almost bored as he asked her, "Is that all you wanted?"

Of all the replies, she hadn't been expecting that one. If anything, it only served to intensify her anger. She lunged at him, sending them both sprawling across the bed. She began to beat her fists against his chest as she screamed, "Is that all you have to say to me? You asshole!" Kane shoved her off, quickly climbing from the bed, leaving Lita in the tangled sheets.

Kane moved to stand at the foot of the bed. He sighed deeply as he ran his hand over his cropped hair. His expression was one of distinct disappointment as he said, "You can't ever make this easy, can you?" Lita glowered up at him. "Is that all you're concerned with? Making things easy?" Lita climbed from the bed, standing toe to toe with him. Kane almost laughed at the site of the 5'7 Diva staring him down. "God, it seems like all you think about is how to fuck with me next!" she spat at him. But as she spoke, she saw Kane's face harden into an expression of distinct anger. Lita suddenly got the impression she was digging her own deep, deep grave.

Without warning his arms shot out and grabbed her by the shoulders. His fingers dug painfully into her skin as he bent his head close to hers. "What makes you think this is all about you?" he growled. Lita closed her eyes, ready for the wrath she knew she had coming. When he spoke again, his words were clipped and harsh.

"You always complain that I'm trying to make your decisions for you. But this time you deserved it. You couldn't make a decision, so I made it for you. All you had to do was walk away. Just go back to being the Rated-R Diva whose most difficult decision is picking out which slutty shirt to wear to Raw!" Lita flinched. That particular comment cut her deep.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean? What decision are you talking about?" she said, shrugging off his grip. He gaped, unable to believe she didn't know what he was talking about. "Are you kidding me? What decision? The one God-damned decision _you refuse to make!_" He was shouting now. Lita's confusion was clear in her eyes, which only served to enrage Kane further.

"_Me or Edge!_ You can't seem to decide which one of us you wanted more, so I made the decision for you. _Twice!_ But you can't take the stupid hint and leave me the fuck alone!" Kane watched her fidget beneath his gaze. Lita closed her eyes, beginning to realize that this situation with Kane had affected him more than she had thought. When he spoke again, the pain in his voice surprised her.

"Do you know what it does to me? Do you know what it is like to have you and then watch you go back to him? Tell me, how long I'm supposed to share you with him. How many nights are you going to leave me with the knowledge you're going back to fuck him? Am I not supposed to think about it?" He paused, seeing the quiver in Lita's chin that signaled tears were fast approaching. But he continued. "What do you think it feels like, having you in the shadows before you go back to Edge as the perfect and loving girlfriend?"

Lita bowed her head, desperately trying to stifle the sobs that threatened to tear her insides apart. She had done this with her selfishness; her inability to make a commitment. She had been unable to see past her own desires, simply assuming Kane was perfectly happy to wait for her. She'd been too concerned with keeping her carefully constructed façade together than to think about what she was doing to Kane. The feel of his fingers in her hair startled her so much that she visibly jumped. When he spoke again, the sadness in his voice nearly pushed her over the emotional edge: "I can't handle that beautiful hope inside that comes whenever you're with me. . . and then having it destroyed every time you go back to him."

Lita reluctantly opened her eyes, fully prepared to beg for forgiveness, but she balked when she saw Kane's lip curl into a sneer as he said, "If being with you means I have to endure that every single night. . . _then I don't want you_." His fingers tightened painfully in her hair as he bent his head next to hers. "Do you understand now?"

The room filled with tension as Kane waited for her reaction. He was clearly shocked when she smiled up at him. "We're both liars." The expression on Kane's face told her this was clearly not the reply he had expected. She smiled at him again, a sad, ironic expression. "You were lying when you said you don't want me." She knew her statement was confirmed when he didn't say anything. She continued: "And my big lie? Well, I lied to you when I told you I hate you. . . And I lie to myself every fucking day when I tell myself I'm happy with Edge."

Lita's shoulders sagged with relief as she finally admitted the truth to herself. She had always known she had used Edge for protection while he used her to further his career. Up to this point, the whole deal seemed okay because she'd been able to convince herself that she loved him. But the last few months of her life had done nothing but to prove that this was no longer true. So here she was again, looking for any excuse to dump her current man for the one she really wanted. "God," she laughed, "I really am a slut. . . "

Kane stood absolutely speechless. What was all this supposed to mean? Before any more words could be spoken, the room phone rang. Both hesitated for a moment before Lita went to answer it. Maria was on the other side. "Lita! Oh my gosh, okay so Jeff and I just got back to the hotel and the staff is freaking out and stuff because we don't have a room key and everyone down here thinks we aren't actually staying here! Can you come down and get us?" Lita sighed and told the her she'd be right down. After replacing the phone in its cradle, she turned back to Kane.

"If you wanted to say anything, you ought to do it now. Maria and Jeff are downstairs, so you won't have another chance." But he stood silently, still processing what had just passed between them. Realizing this would take a lot more than two minutes to sort through, Lita retrieved the second room card and put it in her pocket. When she turned back to Kane, he was studying her with an expression of confusion, as if he was trying to figure something out that he didn't quite understand. She trailed a light hand over his crossed arms and said, "I can't figure me out either. . ." She gave him a small, sad smile before heading downstairs to rescue her friends.

There was still a crowd of people in the lobby, but she was able to locate Jeff by his shock of neon yellow and blue hair. Maria was loaded down with shopping bags, and Jeff carried a prize of his own. Lita's eyes widened when she saw it. "You got a guitar?" Jeff smiled and said, "I'll show you when we get upstairs." When they got upstairs, Kane was sitting in bed again, book open, as if they hadn't said a word to each other. Jeff moved over to the desk to unwrap his newest toy. Lita and Maria huddled close while he unzipped the case.

Lita gasped as Jeff withdrew a beautiful midnight blue Gibson guitar. Where did you find that?" she asked. Jeff smiled, running his hands over the strings. "Maria wanted to drag me into the fabric store, but I found a guitar store nearby. I managed to convince the owner to part with it." He sat down at the desk and set about the task of getting it ready to play. Lita watched for a few minutes before Maria pulled her away to see what she'd bought. Lita feigned interest as Maria showed off several cute tops, new boots and several types of cloth she intended to turn into new outfits.

Nearly an hour passed before the missing member of their party returned. Jericho flung open the door, scaring the hell out of Maria who tried to claw her way up Lita's leg. Once the redhead was able to pry Maria off, she went to help Chris, who was burdened with bags. "Where the hell did you go?" she asked, helping relieve him of his stuff. He smiled and went back to retrieve two boxes he'd left outside the door. "Nice, Chris!" Lita exclaimed as he brought in two cases of Germany's finest beer. Lita tore into the hefeweizen, confirming there was actual beer inside. "Ah, ah, ah. There's more!" Jericho said, searching through his bags for a minutes. Finally he pulled out a bottle of tequila and handed it to her. Lita hugged him happily. "Score! I hope you got some more for these guys!"

Chris passed around his gifts of food and booze, which was well received by all in attendance. Jeff's new toy also excited Jericho, who reminded everyone that in addition to being one of the top superstars in the WWE, he was also a successful rock star. While food was passed around, drinks were made, and everyone began to relax. Chris and Jeff settled into working on the guitar while Maria and Lita dug into dinner. Everyone settled into increasingly good moods, forgetting the stress of the hospital visit.

After Jericho helped Jeff tune the guitar, they settled down into the floor with Maria and Lita, all talking while Jeff quietly played through chords, providing a relaxing background to the conversation. Lita was already feeling fairly light headed from the combination of her favorite tequila and beer, but that only helped to relieve the tension she carried every time she glanced at Kane. Despite the growing number of weizen bottles on his nightstand, Kane was still withdrawn, still reading his book. Lita noted with some amusement, that he hadn't turned a page in quite a long time. While the wrestlers laughed, and exchanged battle stories, Jeff handed the guitar over to Jericho, who was itching to play it for himself. The next hour saw an improvised "The Best of Fozzy" concert, in which everyone was too embarrassed to admit they didn't know any of the songs. But they weren't about to admit that to the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla.

When Jericho took a break to grab another beer, Lita reached out and took the guitar into her lap, admiring the craftsmanship that went into the instrument. When she lifted it upright, as if to play it, both Jericho and Jeff laughed. Jeff told her to be careful with "his baby," which earned a hurt look from Maria. Lita allowed her fingers to pass gently over the strings, getting a feel for the instrument. She hadn't gotten to play in some time. As Jericho cracked open his next beer, he told Lita, "Why don't you let me show you how to hold that thing? Maybe I can teach you a few cords too."

When he reached to pull the guitar away from her, she sat back, a sly smile on her face. Her fingers found their correct position, and she began to play the melody of the only complete song Lucas had ever taught her to play. She played through the soft, acoustic melody, proving to herself that she was remembering it correctly. She snuck glances at everyone else, who was staring at her in wide-eyed amazement. Even Kane was now staring openly at her. She couldn't contain a smile of her own as she quietly began to sing the lyrics that now, more than ever, seemed to reflect her own life.

_Your words to me_

_Just a whisper_

_Your face is so unclear_

_I try to pay attention_

_Your words just disappear_

'_Cause it's always raining in my head_

_Forget all the things I should have said_

_So I speak to you in riddles_

'_Cause my words get in my way_

_I smoke the whole thing to my head_

_And feel it wash away_

'_Cause I can't take any more of this_

_I want to come apart_

_Or dig myself a little hole_

_Inside your precious heart_

As she sang the last line of the phrase, she locked eyes with Kane, making it perfectly clear who she was singing to. But as quickly as the contact was made, she had to look away before someone noticed. She continued, dipping her head, as if in concentration.

'_Cause it's always raining in my head_

_Forget all the things I should have said_

_I am nothing more than_

_I little child inside_

_That cries out for attention_

_Yet I always try to hide_

'_Cause I talk to you like children_

_Though I don't know how I feel _

_But I know I'll do the right thing_

_If the right thing is revealed_

'_Cause it's always raining in my head_

_Forget all the things I should have said_

Lita fell silent, feeling slightly embarrassed. Everyone was still staring at her with that amazed look. Jeff was the first to speak. "How could you not tell me you knew how to play! I can't believe you've been hiding this from me!" he cried, reaching to give her a friendly shove. Maria began to bounce where she sat as she squealed, "Oh my gosh that was so good!" The brunette Diva turned to Jericho and said, "Oh my gosh, you two should go on tour together!" Everyone cracked up while Jeff reclaimed his guitar. Lita sat back to claim another beer, grateful that nobody had laughed at her. She only knew that particular song because it had been one of Lucas' favorite, and he insisted on teaching it to her.

While Jeff began to play some of his own compositions, Lita stole a glance at Kane. He had turned his attention back to the book. For a moment, Lita wondered if he had even noticed. Slightly hurt, she opened another beer and tried to forget the entire experience. It was well past one in the morning when the sleeping situation argument broke out again. Again, nobody challenged Kane for his spot, but Jericho went after the girls for their claim of the second bed. But to the Divas' advantage, Jericho was pretty drunk, and they were able to manipulate him into sleeping on the sofa. But that left just one problem. "But what about Jeff?" Maria cried, as if she was suddenly remembering the wrestler with the giant cast on his leg. "Don't worry Jeff, we weren't going to make you sleep on the floor," Lita said, getting up from the bed.

But Jeff waved her off. "Nope, no, I've got this." Everyone watched as Jeff hobbled to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Both Maria and Jericho burst into laughter as Lita smiled. After a minute, Jericho turned to her. "He's not actually going to. . . sleep in there, is he?" Lita shrugged her shoulders as she got up and walked quietly to the bathroom. She opened the door a crack and nearly burst into laughter herself. Jeff had pulled all the towels from their rack and created himself a very cozy bed in the bathtub. She quietly shut the door as her shoulders shook with laughter. "Is he really?" Maria asked, wide-eyed. Lita nodded and said, "That little bastard can sleep anywhere."

When the lights finally clicked out, Lita found herself staring at Kane's back in the next bed. Even though they were laying only five feet apart, Lita couldn't feel more separated. She had no earthly idea how he was feeling about her. At this point she couldn't blame him if he just wanted to be rid of the whole mess. Exhausted, emotionally and physically, Lita pulled the quilt over her head and prayed for morning to come. Softly she heard Maria and Jericho wishing each other goodnight.

Next to her, Maria said, "Goodnight Lita." From the couch Jericho called, "Goodnight Lita." But Kane remained silent.

**Song is Epiphany by Staind. I did change line 19, to 'child' instead of 'boy.' **


	22. Chapter 22

Goodnight Lita 22

The clock had only just ticked past 7:30 when Chris Jericho's singing drug the five unwilling wrestlers into consciousness. Even Jericho seemed surprised as he groped for his cell phone that was blaring Fozzy's _Enemy_ from somewhere in his bag. From the vicinity of Kane's bed, a pillow was hurled across the room to smack Chris in the face. Instead of throwing her pillow, Lita clamped it down over her head and rolled over. After yesterday's excitement, she was perfectly content to sleep away most of today. Beside her, Maria sat up, sporting bed-head so bad she looked like a 1970's country music star. "What's going on?" she asked, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand.

Much to everyone's relief, Jericho located the phone and flipped it open, silencing the jarring ring. "Hello? Who is this? Oh wait. . . Ilsa! At the airport, right!" At the word 'airport' everyone suddenly became very awake. Lita tossed away her pillow and sat up, trying to focus her bleary eyes on Chris. Even Jeff found consciousness and cracked open the bathroom door to listen. "Wait, so. . . It is? So they're flying again?" Lita's felt her heart clutch in excitement. A huge grin had spread over Jericho's face as her spoke again. "Right now? We'll be there!. . . Yes! Of course. Your autographed Y2J tights will be in the mail as soon as I get home! Thank you so much!" He closed the phone and fell back to the couch, sighing in relief. After a moment did he notice the curious looks he was receiving from his four companions. "What?" he asked innocently.

Kane asked what was on all their minds: "Autographed Y2J tights?" Jericho smiled, somewhat embarrassed before he shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I can't help it if the woman at the Delta counter is a Jerichoholic. How do you guys think I got this room?" As Jeff emerged from the bathroom, he reached out to slap Jericho's shoulder. "Nice move, whoring out the merch." Chris smiled and shrugged him off. "Yeah, well, you guys better be glad I did. Now get your lazy asses out of bed. We've got to get to the airport ASAP. They haven't officially announced the strike's over, so we need to get there before a few thousand other people find out."

The room suddenly burst into a flurry of activity as five wrestlers sprang into action. Lita tossed the sheets aside and headed for her pile of luggage, a broad smile on her face. While Maria bounded for the bathroom, the other wrestlers quickly packed up their bags and changed clothes. Lita couldn't help the grin that spread over her face. She couldn't believe that not only had the strike ended so quickly, but they'd gotten advance notice. With any luck, they could all be on planes headed home in a few hours. Her fingers twitched, anxious to play with her dogs again.

In what seemed like a remarkable feat, all five wrestlers were packed and ready in 20 minutes. Despite the early hour, everyone was feeling the excitement. Together they all set out down the hallway to meet their cab. Lita and Jericho lead the group, with Maria helping Jeff along, and Kane dragging along their bags. Lita felt like running down the hall in her excitement; her pace increasing till she was practically jogging. Jericho saw this, and thought he was being challenged to a race. He shot her a sly smile and picked up his own pace. The pair made eye contact for a very brief moment, but it was already on. Jericho sprinted ahead, his bags swaying, threatening to knock him off balance. With a shriek of excitement, Lita took off after him, pulling her bags behind as fast as she could. Behind them, she could hear the others laughing as they struggled to catch up.

The duo reached the corner and tried to swerve around it, each dragging 50 pounds of luggage. The crash was probably heard through the entire floor. By the time the others had caught up with them, Lita had mostly replaced the clothes that had exploded from her bag, while Jericho was still trying to reattach the shattered leg of the accent table currently lying on its side. Maria and Jeff burst into laughter, while Kane cracked a genuine smile at the sight. She finished stuffing the contents of her bag back into place and gladly took the hand that was offered to help her up. Once she was finally upright again, she realized who's hand she was clutching. Kane let go quickly, his face turning stony as Lita bowed her head and quickly moved back to her bags. She discretely rubbed her palm against her jeans, trying to erase the tingling he left whenever he touched her.

But the sensation would not go away, tempering Lita's excitement with a touch of sadness. As glad as she was to be headed home, she realized she probably wouldn't have a chance to speak to him again until they all had to be back for the next show. After their conversation yesterday, he'd given no indication of how he felt about everything. While Jeff, Maria and Jericho chatted happily with each other, Kane and Lita were silent, each lost in their own thoughts. Lita could offer no guess at what Kane was thinking about, and it bothered her. Of everything they'd said to each other last night, Lita's confession about her relationship with Edge bothered her the most. Now that she had finally voiced the truth she'd been denying for months, she couldn't go back and face him as if nothing had happened. Would he even notice her unhappiness when he had championship gold glittering in his eyes?

When the group arrived downstairs, their cab was waiting. In a miracle that defied both physics and geometry, they managed to fit everyone's stuff and bodies into the vehicle. The news of the strike's end apparently hadn't broken yet, as the airport was still virtually deserted when they arrived. Jericho ushered the group over to the Delta airlines counter where someone was waiting for them. A tall, thin, dark haired woman stood waiting at the counter, a broad smile on her face as she saw the group coming towards her. As Jericho moved ahead to greet her, she exclaimed in heavily accented English, "I was wondering when you would get here. The official announcement went out five minutes ago. I was worried."

"No way we're missing this chance!" Jericho exclaimed as the two embraced. As the other wrestlers caught up, Jericho introduced her. "Everyone, this is Ilsa, my favorite Jerichoholic and the beauty who is hooking us up today." Lita watched as Ilsa blushed and moved to her computer. "We better get your flights booked now, because it is going to be bedlam later." Once everyone had their flights booked and tickets clutched tightly in hand, it seemed as if the floodgates opened as the airport filled with people clamoring for places at the ticket counters. The airport filled with a dull roar from all the voices as the group of wrestlers unceremoniously broke apart, each heading for their respective gates.

Now relieved of everything but her carry-on bag, Lita quickly headed for Gate 5, Berlin to Atlanta. She stopped a moment to buy a cup of coffee before settling down on a row of seats at her gate. Even though it was getting towards 9 in the morning, Lita didn't have the faintest idea what time it was back home. Taking the chance she may be calling in the middle of the night, she dialed up her brother's number. The phone rang for several moments before kicking over to his voicemail. Lita felt a little nervous knowing that he may not get her message in time. Crossing her fingers, she quickly explained her situation and asked him to pick her up at the airport when she arrived.

As she was slipping her phone back into her bag, she felt someone reach down and gently grip her shoulder. For a split second she thought some fan had recognized her, but the jolt of electricity at the sensation betrayed who it really was. Lita felt her heart crawl into her throat as Kane moved to her side, quickly extending his hand out to her. Surprised, she stared at it for a moment before glancing up at his face. The urgency in his expression surprised her as he stretched his fingers towards her. Her heart began to pound either out of excitement or fear, she couldn't decide which. She took a sharp breath and placed her hand into his.

Kane quickly hauled her to her feet and set off down the terminal. Lita winced in pain as she felt like her arm was about to be yanked from its socket. She had to jog behind him to keep up with his enormous strides. With a nod to a woman sitting at a kiosk, Kane ducked into a room off the main terminal, dragging Lita behind. When the door snapped closed behind them, Kane finally let her go. "Geeze," she muttered, "let me make sure my arm is still here." Once she made sure her arm was indeed still there, she noticed that they were now in a first class lounge much more lush than the row upon row of hard seats in the terminal.

"You're flying first class?" Lita asked, surprised. Kane dropped his bag on a plush couch and gave her a small smile. "You expect me to fit in coach?" He sat down beside his bag and gestured for her to sit across from him. Suddenly nervous, Lita glanced around the small lounge, relaxing slightly when she realized they were alone. She lowered herself onto an overstuffed couch, her nerves finally catching up to the situation. She had absolutely no idea what was going on. Kane's expression was neutral, but there was hardness there, giving off the distinct impression he was upset.

Lita knew she had given him plenty to be upset about over their time together. She could hardly blame him for being angry anyway. She'd burned him over and over again, sometimes without even know it. How many times would he stick his hand into the flame before he learned the consequences?

He leaned forward slightly and asked, "What are you going to do now?" Lita got the sudden impression she was taking a test she hadn't studied for. Her first reaction was to be a smartass, but she quelled the urge and said softly, "You mean, am I going back to Edge?" Kane didn't respond, but the flare of anger in his eyes at the mention of his rival's name said yes. Lita rolled her eyes and lay back on the couch. "Edge has one thought on his mind right now. All he cares about is that stupid title belt and what he'll have to do to get it back." She gave a small, frustrated sigh. "I'm probably the lowest thing on his radar right now." Both wrestlers knew this was the truth, but only one of them felt the pain of becoming No. 2 to an inanimate object. Edge's first title win had changed the dynamic of their relationship in ways Lita hadn't expected. It used to be all about the fucking and blazing their own path through the company. Now it was all about what Edge could do to win the title, and how Lita could help him.

"It didn't seem to bother you too much when you were sucking face with him in Innsbruck," Kane said, his eyes hard. Lita glared at him. "And what would you have me do?" she asked softly, crossing her arms like a petulant child. "If I dared to leave him, for you, _for anyone_, he wouldn't be able to handle it. If you hadn't noticed, Edge goes nuts when he doesn't get his way. He wouldn't be able to cope with the loss of something he considers his _property_." She practically spat the last word a Kane, silently reminding him of all the times he had referred to her as such.

Lita closed her eyes, and imagined what would happen if she left Edge. "He would do everything in his power to make me suffer. Cost me matches. . . fuck me up. . . anything to make me feel sorry I ever crossed him. . ." A chill went down her spine as she imagined being on the receiving end of spears or one man con-chair-tos. Edge would happily end her career to soothe his damaged ego.

Saying the words only made Lita feel all the more helpless. She was a victim of a situation entirely of her own making. Hastily she wipes away a tear that _did not_ exist. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. She'd chosen Edge to be the one to save her, and now she was suffering the consequences of that choice. Well, Kane had wanted to see her pay for what she'd done to him in the past. If his vengeful desire wasn't sated at her predicament, she figured nothing short of her death would do.

Kane watched her carefully, knowing her well enough to see that she was holding in frustrated tears. Part of him couldn't help but relish the situation. He never felt she suffered enough for what she did to him. And that part of him enjoyed her agony. Once again she'd put herself in a mirror image of their former love triangle, except this time she was the one that was torn and suffering. But instead of savoring her pain, as he expected himself to, he was overcome with the urge to protect her from everything that threatened her future.

Lita looked away from him. A television monitor mounted on the wall began displaying the flights that were currently boarding. She saw her flight number flash on the screen. She quickly grabbed her bag, and got up, looking to make a hasty exit. But Kane, moving with a quickness that seemed contradictory to his size, blocked her path. She shied away, as he reached out and gripped her shoulders. "Please, just leave me alone," she pleaded, unable to contain the tears that rolled down her cheeks. He stared down at her, the desperation in his eyes nearly breaking her heart.

"Wouldn't it be enough if I protected you?" As he spoke, his arms slowly drew her closer to him. Lita shook her head sadly, as she pleaded with him, "Don't you understand? He'd always find a way. 'The Ultimate Opportunist' isn't just a nickname. It's his personality." Before she knew what he was doing, he'd pulled her flush against his chest. He ran his hands through the silk of her hair, finally coming to a truth he'd been denying for a long while.

He loved her beyond reason. Even though she had given him every reason to hate her, he couldn't. He was burning for her, desperate to have her for himself. And when she'd resisted, seeming to cling to Edge, it had eaten away at him. He'd blamed her for being indecisive and manipulative. He knew Lita desired him enough to seek him out in shadows, yet she refused to leave Edge. And until now, he hadn't understood why. But now that he realized the depth of her fear of Edge's wrath, he was desperate to have her.

Lita's lips were trembling when he bowed his head to kiss her. She gave a small whimper as her lips parted to allow him to taste her. He gripped her all the tighter, part of him desperately afraid he wouldn't have her like this again. Her hands wound around his neck, holding him tight against her as the kiss deepened. She moaned softly as his kiss ignited a fire deep inside her almost instantly. Her hips instinctively pressed closer to his as his bowed his head to trail hot kisses along her jaw and throat. As her body seemed to catch on fire, Lita forced herself away from him. "I-I have to go. My flight. . ." Her hands trembled as she reached for the door handle. From behind, Kane grasped her again, pulling her against his chest. As his arms enveloped her body, he lowered his head to rest gently against her neck. Lita had to bite her lip to keep from moaning with desire. He pressed several small kisses along her neck before he whispered softly, "Take care of yourself." Lita hastily nodded, her voice too shaky for words.

Reluctantly his arms let her go. Lita didn't trust herself to look back at him as she hastily exited the lounge and made her way back to her boarding gate. By now, the terminal was packed with people all eagerly clutching their boarding passes. Lita managed to navigate the hoard and board the plane with little trouble. Like the airport, the flight was packed to the gills. She was lucky enough to score a window seat that would allow her to sleep easier than her aisle bound compatriots. While the plane was still on the runway, Lita had made herself as comfortable as possible and tried to fool herself into thinking she'd have a nice relaxing flight home. But her body resisted, still pulsing with the excitement of her earlier encounter with Kane. The sleep she had hoped for turned into fitful naps, her dreams tortured by visions of what would have happened in that lounge had her flight not been so soon.

Twelve hours later the plane's wheels touched asphalt again, jolting Lita awake. From what her bleary eyes could tell, it was either night, or very early morning in Atlanta. Jet-lag had already sent in, making the act of thinking too hard to be attempted. My some miracle, the exhausted, jet-lagged Diva managed to collect all her baggage at the claim and make her way out to the passenger pickup area. After pushing her way through the crowd to the line of cars, she remembered that Lucas may or may not be waiting for her.

A few cars down the line, she spotted Lucas' bright red sports car, which flashed its lights at her. Relieved he had received her message, she hurried over and threw her luggage inside the trunk, which had popped open for her. When she climbed inside the passenger side, she exclaimed, "Oh my God I can't believe I finally made it!" Lita hadn't expected a soft female voice to answer, "Yeah, I know! They strike was on the news. You're so lucky it ended so fast." Lita stared at her sister-in-law in shock. "Caroline? Where's Lucas?" As she pulled the car out into traffic, Caroline replied, "Lucas has to be to work in a few hours, so I told him I'd get you." "Oh," Lita replied softly, too tired to get into deep conversation.

Despite being part of the same family for well over a year now, Lita didn't know Caroline very well. Lita hadn't been in the best place when she joined the family. Even worse, Caroline had announced her pregnancy a few weeks after Lita's own pregnancy met its own tragic end. Now, Lita regretted her coldness towards her sister-in-law. They were nearly the same height, perhaps with Caroline standing an extra half-inch. Where Lita was fit and athletic, Caroline was slender and lithe, her body the product of years of meticulous dance training. Her hair was very dark brown and cut to her shoulders, framing a heart-shaped face that was accented by soft green eyes. From what she could tell, Caroline was a very nice person and a good mother to Alex. Hell, they should have been good friends. Both women had suffered catastrophic injuries that threatened their careers. But while Lita had managed to recover, Caroline still walked with the scars that reminded her of what she'd lost.

Their arrival at Lita's house was heralded by a frenzy of baying and tail wagging. Lita couldn't help the huge grin on her face as she headed inside to greet Molly and Rebel. The trio shared a happy reunion for several minutes before Lita helped Caroline drag in her luggage. Now, back among familiar surroundings, Lita felt the deep pull of her exhaustion. Even though she wanted to go outside and romp with the dogs for a while, she barely felt the energy to get up off the couch. Resigning herself to her fate, Lita headed upstairs and crashed into bed. Molly and Rebel quickly followed, curling beside her as she settled down to sleep.

With two days before she had to head out and rejoin the company, Lita took full advantage of the time off. With Caroline's help, she used the remaining money on her WWE credit-card to purchase an obscene amount of dog food that was delivered to the local ASPCA. In between play-sessions with Molly and Rebel, Lita spent a great deal of time working out, knowing that her match with Mickie James was scheduled for the next Raw. Everything was going fairly languidly until Saturday evening when Lita was packing up for her Sunday trip to meet up with the company in Nashville.

Her cell phone suddenly began blaring "Metalingus," the sound sending a shock of nervousness through her system. He hadn't bothered to call her since he left her in Berlin. She watched the phone warily for a moment before hesitantly reaching out and flipping it open. Edges voice sounded unusually happy as he said, "Hey babe! What are you up to?" "Oh, not much. Just packing up," she said, trying to sound causal. "So, that means you're at the house, right?" A sudden feeling of dread spread in her stomach. "Yes, where else would I be?" she asked, suddenly afraid he was nearby.

"Well honey, I need you to do me a favor. I want you to find the sexiest dress you own and put it on." Lita's heart clutched in fear. What the hell was he planning? She tried to sound cool as she asked, "How far away are you?" There was laughter on the other end of the line. "About 20 minutes. Can you be ready by then?" _Shit! Shit! Shit! _Lita nodded her answer, but after a moment realized that he couldn't hear that. "Whenever you need me," she said, ignoring the fearful tension in her chest. "Great," he replied with happiness in his voice, "I'll need you in 20 minutes. See you then babe." The line went dead.

She stood clutching the phone for a long moment as if in shock. _What in God's name is he doing?_ Edge wasn't a spur of the moment kind of guy. Whatever he was planning, he'd been planning for a while. As the minutes continued to tick by, Lita tried to calm herself and get dressed. As she feebly tried convince herself he just wanted to hang out, she looked through her closet for one of a handful of dresses she owned. Finally she pulled out a plain low-cut black dress that she hadn't worn since buying it several months ago. She dressed, and moved to the bathroom to do her makeup and hair. By the time she finished, she saw the glare of headlights reflected through the window. Pausing only to grab the one pair of 'girlie' shoes she owned, Lita headed downstairs where Molly and Rebel were going wild at the arrival.

She quickly put the dogs outside and pulled on the shoes before going to open the door from Edge. To her complete surprise, three blond Canadians in tuxedos stood waiting for her. Edge looked very handsome in his, his hair pulled back in a ponytail as he held out a huge bouquet of red and white roses. On his left side, Jericho stood, smiling brightly at her. On his right stood. . . "Oh my God! Christian? What the hell are you doing here?" she cried happily, moving to embrace him. Edge laughed as the pair hugged, joking, "We managed to tear TNA's newest star away long enough for a road trip to visit our favorite girl." Jericho moved forward to claim his own hug while Edge showed himself in. Lita followed him into her kitchen, where he was searching for a container for the mass of flowers he carried. Once he found what he needed, he set them on the counter and drew Lita into a hug. Softly he asked her, "Aren't they beautiful?" Lita knew he was fishing for approval, which she gave in the form of a kiss.

Edge immediately warmed to her touch, pulling her body close to his. But even as she returned his embrace, Lita couldn't shake the coldness inside when he touched her. After a moment she pulled away when Christian and Jericho came into the kitchen. "So, is someone going to explain what all this is about?" The three men smiled at her. "I've got a great night planned. You'll just have to wait and see what surprises develop," Edge smiling, linking his arm with hers. Instead of excitement, a wave of nausea rolled over her stomach. Somehow she felt like an unsuspecting animal being lead into a hunter's trap.

The group piled into Edge's SUV and headed downtown. Although she tried to appear calm and friendly on the outside, her insides were tying themselves in knots. The three guys were already laughing and joking, the focus of conversation generally revolving about life in TNA versus life in WWE. Lita listened halfheartedly, laughing where it was expected, but was silent for the most part. This whole thing felt like a kidnapping. If she wasn't afraid of Edge's psychotic behavior, she would have told him to fuck off and leave her alone.

After arriving downtown, Edge led them past the club district to a restaurant, Il Viasta, an upscale place Lita had heard of before, but never had the time to visit. It was the kind of place where waiters in starched black shirts and long white aprons passed around wine lists that resembled books. He'd actually made reservations for this, which only added to Lita's nervousness. Edge wasn't the reservation kind of guy. _How long had he been planning this? One or all of these guys had to have been helping him_, she thought, glancing at Christian and Jericho, who smiled at her.

They were lead to a private dining room and were seated. A moment later, a bottle of Champaign was brought to the table by their waiter. Eager for something to soothe her nerves, Lita quickly downed her glass and had it refilled. For a while, things seemed to be going like any normal dinner between friends would. The conversation gradually drifted to wrestling war stories, and light-hearted competition of whose career was the most illustrious. Lita kept mostly silent through the exchange, keeping her attention focused on her portabella parmesan. Gradually, to Lita's dismay, the conversation turned to her. First it started with Edge and Christian telling stories about some of their memorable matches with Team Extreme, with running commentary by Jericho. Memories of the Conquistadors debacle drew laughs from everyone, including Lita. She felt her cheeks turn crimson when Edge joked to Christian about all the times she'd given them Litacaranas during their matches against the Hardys. "That's when I knew we were made for each other, even back then. She was always trying to get her legs around my head," he said with a wink.

The bottle of Champaign was passed around again while Edge reached over to hold Lita's hand. She resisted the urge to pull away, instead giving him a small smile. He returned the gesture before saying to everyone, "You know, I think Lita has had the worst time out of all of us." The others laughed and Christian retorted, "Worse than being called a CLB?" Jericho elbowed him in the ribs and said, "Truth hurts, doesn't it?" "_Anyway_," Edge drawled, brining the attention back to him, "I mean, she's dealt with so much crap during her career, it's hard to believe. She's been so unlucky in certain regards." His hand squeezed hers a little tighter.

"Do you guys remember when that little bitch, Matt Hardy proposed to her? And then how he dropped her when Kane spilt her little secret? Like that little bitch deserved her anyway," Edge said, a hint of anger in his face as he discussed his two past rivals for Lita. She didn't like the direction this conversation was taking. "And then that whole 'Til Death Do Us Part' match, I mean seriously, what a crock. If Hardy really loved her, he should have won easily. If I ever had to do something like that, I'd be damned sure to win." Lita felt her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she glared at Edge.

"And your first wedding, man, I can't believe you had the guts to actually marry that psycho," Edge continued, letting go of her hand. Across the table, Jericho snickered, "I know nobody wants to imagine it, but try and imagine what that wedding night was like. They probably couldn't decide whether to fight or screw. And the size difference, I mean, man, how did that work?" The table burst into laughter, with the exception of Lita, whose eyes were shooting daggers at Jericho. "Well," Edge laughed, "Her second wedding didn't go much better!"

_Kill me, please someone kill me now_, Lita silently begged. "We never really had an engagement, you realize. With that psycho monster stalking us, we just agreed to get married as soon as we could," Edge said, giving Lita a small smile. Lita gave a snort of laughter. That wasn't how she remembered it. She recalled Edge telling her that they'd be getting married next week on Raw. That's it. No Discussion. "And despite that smokin' dress you had on, that wedding ended in disaster," Edge continued, reaching out to grasp her hand again. "Like you said, you have been unlucky in marriage."

Lita watched in detached horror as Edge rose from his chair and moved to stand at her side. He slowly sank to one knee and removed a small velvet box from his jacket pocket. "But I intend to change that tonight," he said, grinning broadly, as were Jericho and Christian. He opened the box removed the circular object from inside. Lita felt her throat slowly close up as tears welled up in her eyes. Edge saw it as a touching gesture and reached up to gently caress her face.

_Oh God, please no! Anything but this!_ Lita saw her freedom dying a painful death as Edge said, "Lita, Raw is going to be in Las Vegas in just over a month. On that night, after the show, I want you to marry me. Not some hokey thing in the ring where every person on the roster could fuck things up. No, I want us to have a real wedding. Just us and our friends." He held the ring out so she could see it and asked, "Lita darling, will you marry me?"

Lita wasn't stupid enough to hesitate. She couldn't give him any reason to believe that she wasn't overjoyed to become his wife. "Yes," she replied softly, forcing herself to smile at him. Edge's face lit up as he jumped to his feet and pulled her into his arms. Christian and Jericho were clapping as Edge covered Lita's face with kisses. After hugging her hard enough to crack ribs, he slid the ring onto her hand. It felt like a diamond-encrusted chain.

Jericho and Christian got up and moved to embrace the couple, offering their congratulations. Lita managed to put on a brave face, trading kisses with each man as Edge poured a toast for everyone. Once the glasses were passed around, Edge said simply, "Here's to the engagement of the future Women's Champion and the future WWE Champion. We'll be the first married couple to hold the top championship belts!" The excitement in his voice sickened her. The guys quickly drained their glasses and called for another round.

Panic was rapidly taking control of her body, something she knew she had to fight. Having a panic attack minutes after their engagement wasn't the best idea. She took breath after tortured breath, willing herself to keep control. Several long moments passed before she knew she'd be okay. None of the guys at the table seemed to notice anything was wrong; too wrapped up again in telling each other 'war stories.' If Lita didn't have a ring on her finger, she wouldn't have guessed anything important had happened moments ago. For the first time, she looked down at the garish thing on her hand.

Even in the low light of the dining room, the diamond sparkled, screaming how expensive it must have been. The center diamond was overly large, made even more so by the circle of smaller diamonds surrounding it. She quickly put her arm down by her side so she wouldn't have to look at it. After another short moment, she excused herself to use the restroom. Before she could make a hasty exit, Edge grabbed her hand and begged for another kiss. "Don't be too long, my _fiancée_," he said, a sickly sweet smile on his face. Lita quickly obliged him before leaving.

The moment she was out of view of their table, Lita's legs nearly gave out from under her. Burning hot tears filled her eyes, clouding her vision. She managed to stumble into the bathroom before collapsing. She fell onto a small chaise sitting opposite the row of sinks, her hands shaking so badly they seemed to be vibrating. Her mind was overwhelmed, only capable of one thought: _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!_

Through the haze of hysterical emotion overwhelming her senses, one thought came through that frightened her more than Edge or loosing her career ever could.

_Oh God, what is Kane going to do when he finds out?_


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

The kendo stick came slicing down again, although by this point it had nearly splintered by the repeated blows. That was okay though, Lita was too tired to scream anymore.

Mickie was dancing around her now, near psychotic with the promise of impending victory. Even though her steps were uneven and disoriented, she proceeded to scream obscenities as the kendo stick came down over and over onto her foe's back. Lita's body throbbed under the blows. For a fleeting moment, a thought crossed her mind: _Why is it I signed up for this again?_

Despite having the upper hand, Mickie was bleeding pretty heavily from a gash across her forehead, her left eye discolored and swollen after Lita had smacked her pretty good with a cookie sheet early on in the match. Now, thoroughly pleased with herself, Mickie dropped the shattered stick and turned back to face the Titantron, as if somehow trying to speak to Trish. Her eyes were wild, not really seeing as she began gesturing wildly for a microphone. Once she got the item, she began shouting into it, her voice a good octave above normal. "See Trish! I promised you Trish! I told you I'd make the bitch pay. She'll never be like you! Nobody is like you!"

Unheard, lying at the other side of the ring, Lita moaned. Slowly, sensation was returning to her lower extremities, but with it came the hot searing pain across her upper back and shoulders, the primary focus of Mickie's attacks. _At least pain is better than no feeling_, she thought. But the pain pulsed again. _At least in theory. . ._

While Mickie continued her shrill tirade, Lita managed to pull herself onto her hands and knees, a small miracle by this point. Unfortunately, this also drew Mickie's attention, who dropped the mic with a loud clunk and practically dove through the ring ropes, dropping to the outside, throwing up the ring apron, searching frantically for another item to put Lita down for the rest of the night. Despite the pain overwhelming most of her body, Lita knew that this was her last chance to save her career. Tortured moans bubbled up from her throat as she drug her body into a standing position as Mickie popped back into view, now clutching a new cookie sheet.

By this point she could barely walk straight, her thoughts were muddled into a collage of random sounds and colors, but only one thing was clear in her head: she had to win. As Mickie hopped onto the ring apron, Lita surged forward, passing between the 1st and 2nd ropes, and spearing Mickie as hard as she could. The crowd rose into a frantic crescendo as Lita's momentum sent both Divas crashing to the floor, straight through the steel garbage can that was lying on its side. The impact nearly broke Mickie in half, the momentum sending Lita up and over her unconscious foe to slam back first into the safety barrier. She crumpled into a heap as the crowd broke into a near deafening "Holy Shit! Holy Shit!" chant that seemed to go on forever.

Charles Robinson, the referee for the match, slid down from the ring, bending over Lita, grasping her by the shoulders. He began shouting: "Lita! Lita! Can you hear me?"

_Go away Little Ric. . ._ She moaned, unwilling to join the land of the conscious for the time being. Satisfied she wasn't dead, Robinson crawled over to Mickie, who was much worse for the wear. Slowly, her body began to reboot, the pain shooting through every nerve helping to wake her. The pain was so intense, she could barely breathe, but somehow the battered diva managed to stand. She still wasn't even seeing straight as she righted herself on two very unsteady legs, grasping the security barrier for support. She turned to face Mickie, who was still bent backwards over the trash can where Robinson was trying to coax her to open her eyes.

By this point, the only thing keeping Lita running was pure adrenaline. She stared down at Mickie and was suddenly overcome with rage so intense it burned. Months, hell years, of pent up anger swelled in a tide so great she couldn't control it. To Mickie's benefit, she was already unconscious, and wouldn't remember what was about to happen. Suddenly she wasn't Mickie anymore. It was Edge and Kane. It was that bitch who broke her neck. It was Trish and Matt. It was Vince and everyone else who told her 'no' or 'not yet.' Lita grabbed Mickie's arm and tried to drag her back into the ring. But Mickie moved about as well as a sack of wet concrete. Frustrated, Lita straddled Mickie's prone form, and grabbed her by the shoulders and proceeded to slam her head into the mat a few times, purely a measure to make herself feel better.

The crowd loved it, but Lita didn't give a fuck anymore. Fist after fist crashed into Mickie's face, Lita screaming with unbridled rage. Finally she stopped hitting, but she couldn't stop screaming. She quickly got up off of Mickie and fell against the ring, still screaming like a wounded and very angry animal. Robinson stood way back, not sure if getting close was going to be too good for his career's longevity. Lita stumbled back to Mickie and grabbed her by the shoulders and hauled the Diva back into the ring. The exertion nearly stole what last bit of energy Lita had. Once Mickie was in position, Lita lay sprawled on the canvas beside her, just breathing.

_Just pin her. Just pin her and get the fuck out of the ring. . . _

With the assistance of the ring ropes, Lita pulled herself to her feet and went for the ring post. The crowd rose in a crescendo, knowing what was about to happen. Lita's climb to the top turnbuckle was achingly slow, but finally she stood, precariously balanced and faced out to the crowd. She pulled her fingers into the gunz and brought them to her head before reaching out and pushing herself off.

Her body arched in the air, twisting down to land directly across Mickie. The impact hurt, a little more than usual, but the crowd was loosing their collective mind. Lita quickly hooked one of Mickie's limp legs, signaling to Charles Robinson it was time to go. She closed her eyes and smiled. Robinson's hand hit the mat in three quick beats, the bell ringing out, signaling it was all over. Lita finally let go of Mickie and sat back, almost delirious with joy.

A small herd of other refs and medical personnel were jogging up to the ring, causing Lita to finally pause and take stock. Half her face was numb, and she reached up to feel how swollen the right side of her face was, a small cut beneath her eye had dribbled blood down her face and into her hair. Her arm had done the same, except this gash was deep enough to probably need stitches. That had been the source of most of the blood smeared across her body, with whatever had come from Mickie. And to make everything better, she could already feel the welts on her back, red and angry, burning with pain from Mickie's kendo attach. That, combined with the assortment of bruises and abrasions she'd collected over the course of the match, Lita was in fine shape. While most of the newcomers to the ring were focused on Mickie, Robinson, and a lone paramedic came to her.

"How you doing hon?" asked the young African American man, as he gently grasped her wounded arm, probing at the gash with gloved fingers. Lita winced as a new dribble of blood came at his touch. He smiled, trying to comfort her. "Nothing a few stitches won't help. But let's see that eye. . ." She relaxed under his care, letting him feel her face gently, mainly checking to see if she broke anything. Finally satisfied she was going to live, both he and Robinson helped her climb down from the ring, supporting her weight on their shoulders. They were halfway up the ramp, serenaded by the fans, when a stretcher, destined for Mickie rolled by. Lita paused, her face in a smile of unholy glee with the knowledge Mickie wouldn't be getting up anytime soon. After a match like this, Lita knew nobody was going to fuck with her for quite some time.

Finally the trio made their way back stage, entering through the pitch black gorilla. There, half the roster was waiting, staring at Lita all with the same look of utter astonishment. Except Stephanie. She looked just about ready to bust a gut. The Billion Dollar Princess tore off her headset and threw down the clipboard that contained all of her notes for the show. She stomped up to Lita and leveled a perfectly manicured finger straight at Lita's nose. "You little bitch!" she seethed. "You were out there for twenty fucking minutes! Twenty minutes of _my_ show!" Suddenly Stephanie broke off, as if trying to decide if the match running over was a good or bad thing. In the momentary pause, Lita spat, "You're welcome for the best goddamned Diva's match this company's ever seen." Stephanie almost smiled, but thought the better of it. Instead she snapped, "You're a mess. Go fix yourself. And someone pick up my clipboard! I've got to figure how the hell I'm going to fix this. . ." To herself, Lita smiled. Beneath the rage, she could see the satisfaction in Stephanie's eyes.

The other superstars around her were still watching with curious eyes, silent as her two aides began helping Lita back to the trainer's area. Her eyes met everyone else's, as if letting each and one of them know how wrong they were in every doubting her. As she passed by Torrie and Candace, Lita spit a bloody wad of saliva at their feet. They recoiled, but were too terrified to dare move against her.

Finally Lita was led to the trainers room, who was already pulling on his latex gloves for his next bloody customer. Lita was thankful that this was all she needed. Mickie's next stop was the ambulance. "Owie," he said, giving Lita a preliminary once over. "The guys I'm used to seeing like this, but good lord girl. What are they giving out for weapons nowadays?" Lita winced as her face was poked and prodded to ensure that she hadn't done serious damage. She knew she wasn't going to be pretty for a while. At least the cut below her eye wasn't serious enough to merit stitches.

Outside, Lita could hear the sharp clicking of a woman running in heels when Maria suddenly rounded the corner, almost wiping out on her platform stilettos. "Ohmigosh Lita! Are you okay?" she gasped, sliding to a stop beside the exam table. Lita nodded as Maria softly gripped her hand. Despite the gore before her, Maria was all smiles. "That was like the best match ever. You fought harder than most of the guys do! You deserve to be Women's Champion for life!" At the mention of the championship, Lita thought of Trish and snorted with laughter. "Was she watching?" Maria smiled with unholy glee. "She thought she was sitting pretty until you stood up and hit that spear. Her bags were packed and she was out the door by the time the bell rang. She's frightened out of her mind!" Suddenly the pain seemed to subside a bit with that news.

"Alright hon," the trainer interrupted, "You're probably going to need about 8 to 10 stitches to get this closed." Lita winced, feeling her fear of needles crawl into the pit of her stomach. While he busied himself in setting up his supplies, Maria helped Lita was and sanitize her arm in preparation for the procedure. As she worked, Maria said softly, "You know Edge's match is up." Lita closed her eyes for a moment. "Don't really care." She muttered. And she really didn't. Sure, a few days after the proposal, Edge had gone out and brought her an armload of bridal magazines and scheduled an appointment at a bridal salon in a week. He was still overly excited at the thought of really getting married. The though just made Lita sick.

The last few days though, had seen Edge's mood shift away from her to the match with RVD that was currently under way. While Edge became fixated and withdrawn, Lita had escaped back to her home for a precious 36 hours, enough time to call over Lucas and cry about her impending fate, which nearly had him ready to strangle "that blond a-hole." Today, she'd barely seen him at the arena, he had quickly separated from her to 'prepare' himself. Lita lost herself in her thoughts for a moment, drawing Maria's attention. The little brunette's next comment scared the hell out of Lita. "It's starting to show already." Her heart jumped into her throat as Maria stared at her with serious eyes. "Wh-what are you talking about." Maria reached over to hold her left hand, running her fingers over the thin impression left by the ring. Embarrassed, Lita jerked her hand away, rubbing it on her pants, as if trying to erase the mark. "When did he propose?"

Lita gaped at her. _How. . . How could she. . . Nobody knows outside the guys who were there._ As she stared into Maria's bright green eyes, she realized she may have been too quick to judge her, as most of the roster had. Perhaps there was more to the 'Interviewing Idiot' than she'd thought. Or at least she was observant as hell.

Lita heaved a sigh. "A little while ago. He wants us to get married in Vegas when the company heads out there." Maria's eyebrows nearly climbed into her hairline. "That soon? What's his rush?" Lita shook her head sadly. "He's got me an appointment to pick out my wedding dress on Saturday." Suddenly Lita's eyes grew desperate. "Please come with me Maria. I don't think I could handle it alone." Maria gave her a comforting smile. "Sure I'll go." Her eyes were suddenly drawn to the trainer approaching with a tray prepared with supplies. "Though you may want to consider something with sleeves once he's done with you." A shudder went down Lita's spine as he got ready to start sewing up the wound. WWE trainers were famous, or rather infamous among the roster for their ability to sew up nasty wound without anesthesia. Maria hopped onto the small metal table beside Lita and squeezed her hand tightly.

As the trainer set about his task, he sincerely tried to do it with minimal pain. But Lita couldn't stop biting her lip, trying to contain her whimper every time needle entered and exited flesh. Maria squeezed her hand each time, allowing Lita to hide her face in her hair. A few moments into the procedure, Maria nudged her. Lita moaned through gritted teeth, just simply praying for the trainer to finish. Maria sighed softly as gently massaged the back of Lita's hand in a soothing motion. "Don't worry," she said softly, "It'll be all better soon." Lita's eyes were still clenched shut, but she did give a small nod of agreement.

The trainer took about 20 minutes, though it might have felt like 2 hours to Lita. "You're all done," he said, moving away, finally allowing Lita to raise her head from Maria's shoulder. Her lip was sore where she'd chewed it out of nerves, but at least the throbbing was coming down. She looked down at his handiwork as he sanitized the wound one final time as he gave a set of instructions that guys like Triple H and Ric Flair had memorized. "Keep it clean and keep it covered. You ought to shower off the rest of you, just try to keep any soap out of it. Change the bandage often, especially if you get all sweaty. You ought to make an appointment with a doctor in 2 weeks, or I could do the removal if you need. Just try and take it easy. If you think that hurt, you don't want to pop one, cause then I've got to go back in a fix it."

Both Divas winced at that thought. Finally done, Lita and Maria climbed down, the smaller Diva wrapping her arm around Lita's shoulder, helping her back to her shared locker room with Edge. The halls were fairly deserted, the main event was just starting, which means most everyone was engaged with watching or getting ready to head home. They walked slowly, Lita's body coming down off her adrenaline high brought stiffness into her overworked and abused muscles.

While they passed a hall branching off the main corridor, Maria causally glanced aside. Even though much of the hallway was dark, she could see Kane's massive outline as he silently watched them. Even though Maria was openly staring at him, Kane didn't seem to notice she was there. His eyes were locked to Lita, his face completely unreadable. Still, Lita did not notice, and the pair eventually moved out of sight, with Maria now sporting a small smile.

Eventually they made it back to the large private dressing room Lita shared with Edge. The TV mounted on the wall was showing Edge's match, but Lita ignored it. She began peeling off clothing on her way to the shower. Maria stretched out on the room's couch, half heartedly watching the ongoing match. Lita took the hottest shower she could stand, the intense heat helping to loosen up muscles and to take away some of the throbbing from some of her more traumatic injuries. Once all the blood was gone, and she was feeling halfway human again, she came out of the shower. She dried herself, taking a few moments to examine some of the more obvious bruises. Once satisfied she was going to look fairly reminiscent to a punching bag for a while, she quickly bandaged up the wound in her arm with gauze the trainer had given her.

She returned to the main room briefly for a few moments, to see what non-bloody clothing options she had. Her searching turned up her favorite hoodie and a black miniskirt. She dressed, also pulling on a pair of fishnet stockings for the hell of it. By the time she was done, and came back to where Maria sat, Edge's match was apparently over. Lita didn't have to look at the screen to know something interesting had happened. Maria's eyebrows had migrated into her hairline again as she signed softly "Oooh boy. . ."

Lita frankly didn't care how Edge's match had turned out. But the way Maria was staring at her made her uneasy. Like she knew something bad was about to happen.

A moment later, it did.

The door flew open with a bang loud enough to make Lita nearly jump out of her skin. Edge's form took up the doorway, his sweaty body heaving, his face red and very, very angry. His eyes first landed on Maria. "Get out bimbo," he growled. Maria wasn't stupid enough to hesitate. Maria slipped out behind him as he stalked inside, casting Lita an _I'm sorry_ look. Now alone in the hallway, she heard the first volley of shots. "What the hell was that?" Edge was pissed as hell, but she knew Lita could hold her own. At least the old Lita could.

Maria walked a few paces and then stopped, shoving her hands in her pockets as the wheels in her head turned. She tapped the toe of her right shoe, enjoying the sound it made for a moment before she took off down the hallway, heading to the some of the larger, shared locker rooms. The main event was in full swing, and none of the superstars and staffers standing around really paid her much attention. She jogged as much as a person can in stilettos, finally arriving to one of the dressing rooms that usually served three to five guys. Taped to the door were the names of the guys assigned to this particular room. The name on the bottom of the list made her smile.

Without thinking, she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

The room was unoccupied, save for one person.

Kane was seated on one of the low wooden benches, his elbows propped on his knees, his head bowed as his hands rested on his head. He looked to be in deep thought. Maria reached over and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up at her, his expression annoyed, but not angry. "Get out," he said curtly before bowing his head again. The brunette Diva laughed and smiled at him. "I've heard that a lot today." She saw Kane's shoulders heave in a sigh. "Does it ever work?"

"It depends," she said, moving to sit beside him. He still wasn't looking at her, but he said finally, "Just tell me what you need, and then get out." Maria shook her head at him. "This doesn't involve what I need." By this point, she had moved beyond being coy to being frustrating. His annoyance was rapidly turning into anger. "I am not in the mood for your bullshi-"

"_She_ needs you."

Maria held her breath for a moment, not knowing what his reaction would be. With Kane, rage was usually a good bet. He was silent for the longest moment. "I can't save her. She won't let me." Maria stood, biting her lip to keep a huge smile from her face.

She paced the floor for a few moments before turning to face him, ducking her shoulders, appearing as innocent as possible. She "But. . . what if I had an idea that might change that?"

He was listening.


	24. Chapter 24

Goodnight Lita 24

**Because I'm a huge dork, I waited until May 19****th**** to go ahead and post this chapter in honor of "See No Evil." (Does anyone else remember this gimmick?) I highly recommend to anyone who has ever seen this movie to read punkrock dreamer's series of fics of: Bothered, Speak No Evil, Mental Defect and finally Syndrome. Her fics are much better than the movie and should absolutely be read. If there was justice in the universe, the movie should end like her fics. Also, again because I'm a huge dork, I've referenced "519" several times in Goodnight Lita. A metaphorical cookie for the person who can tell me how many times, lol.**

"What the hell was that?" Edge snarled. Lita closed her eyes, trying to find some last buried reserve of energy to help her face his tantrum. "What was what?" she asked softly. Edge glared at her, his eyes wild as he shoved handfuls of soaking wet hair back from his face. "Are you joking?" he asked incredulously. "Do you want to explain why the hell you weren't out there when Rob Van Dam was _stealing_ that win?" She glared at him, realizing he was trying to pin his loss on her. Lita felt anger growing hot inside of her body, but she kept it back for a moment. "Oh," she said simply, "I hadn't heard that you lost."

Edge stormed over to where he stood, his lips quivering in barely suppressed rage. "Don't you fucking get it? Every loss, every fuckup only gives the company another reason to deny me a title shot. What do you think a loss to RVD looks like? Pretty fuck bad! You could have helped. You could have distracted him, but _you weren't there._" Lita watched him silently, but smiled inwardly as she imagined Rob knocking the crap out of Edge with a Frog-Splash, or perhaps a Rolling Thunder. She shrugged. "What am I supposed to do?" She knew she was provoking him, but at the moment, she really didn't care.

"You're supposed to be out there with me! I'm supposed to be able to depend on you when I need help with a match! You're my girl, _my fiancée_, my own little problem solver. You should want to be out there and make sure everything happens right so I'll be a champion again!" He paused to take several deep breaths. As angry as he was, he was trying not to lose control. "I was okay with you not coming out with me, but you not showing up when I needed you. . . I don't know what to say about that shit." Lita chewed her own lip in an effort to keep her own anger from boiling over. She suddenly moved away from him to sit on one of the wooden benches. She regarded him through half-lidded eyes for a moment as she thought: _Excuse me for getting stitches while you lost your stupid match. I'd hate to die of blood loss and interrupt everything. . . _

"I'm sorry. I just didn't think it was wise to disturb the trainer when he was stitching this gash on my arm closed," she said, managing to keep her temper under control for the time being. Edge moved to sit beside her, sobered by her coolness. He had expected her to blow up at him. "Hey, come here," he said, patting his lap. Not wanting to anger him further, she did as he wanted and threw a long leg over his body, easing herself onto his lap. As if for the first time, he noticed the bandage on her arm and the bruises that were already turning funny colors. "God, you're a mess." Lita moved a little closer to him, allowing him a good view of her cleavage. "You should see the other guy," she smirked.

Edge smiled at her as his hands began to roam over her body. "That is really hot," he said, his hands reaching under her shirt as he embraced her. Lita pressed closer to him, allowing him to pillow his head against her breasts; a gesture she knew calmed him. Even though her body wanted to push him away, she held the position, knowing that a calm Edge was much easier to live with than an angry Edge. And if she had to put up with him, she'd rather have the former. She knew his anger had ablated when he told her, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you." Relieved she was off the hook, at least for now, she gave him one of her little smug smiles before kissing him softly.

Edge sighed, holding her tightly. "Look, can you just promise me something? If for whatever reason you don't come with me to the ring, make sure you're watching and can come out if I need you. I depend on you. . . More than you know." He pressed a kiss to her temple and continued, "Do you want me to come out with you for your matches? If I know Trish, she's going to get desperate to stop you the closer you get to her title." Edge's surprise was clearly written on his face when she shook her head. "I can't give Vince any excuse to say I'm cheating and kick me out. I have to do this on my own." Edge shrugged. "Whatever you want babe."

His hands gently caressed her shoulders and down her arms, finally entwining with her fingers. "Wait a sec," he said as a deep frown crossed his features. "You aren't wearing your ring." Frankly, she hadn't noticed. "Oh, that's right. I didn't want to wear it out there. I don't want a diamond to pop out or something. Besides, that rock could take an eye out," she said, trying to get him to laugh. After a momentary pause, he did. "Of course, you're right hon."

She gave him another soft kiss before climbing from his lap. "I'm already cleaned up, why don't you get showered so we can go?" He agreed, heading to the shower, leaving Lita to her own devices for a few minutes. She finished dressing, pulling on her favorite boots and then considered herself in the mirror lining one wall of the room. The cut under her eye was already swollen and angry; she was going to have one hell of a shiner for while. Not wanting to go through the effort of putting on makeup, she briefly considered dong her hair, but instead opted to let it dry, forming into soft waves around her face. After a few minutes, Edge emerged from the shower and dressed quickly. They both packed their bags together silently, each having their own reasons to forget the night as soon as possible.

Outside, the hallways were noisy. The arena crew was busy trying to pack everything up, and wrestlers were gathering and making plans for the evening. Hearing the din, Edge looked at Lita, a small smile on his face. "I think you and me sounds good tonight, eh? I've been missing some quality time with you." She returned his smile, but shuddered inside. The last thing she wanted was to be alone with Edge. She found herself wishing she was liked enough to be outside in the hall, deciding with friends what club or restaurant to head to. Yet here she was. . .

The sound of six fists pounding on the door sent Lita and Edge's heart rates skyrocketing. "Hey! Open up!" Now angry, Edge stalked to the door and yanked it open. Jericho smiled up at him, his arms around the equally beautiful waists of Lillian and Maria. Each sported a broad grin. His anger slightly muted at seeing a friend, Edge asked, "What's up?" Chris winked at him, then craned his neck over Edge's shoulder to see Lita. "We actually came for her," he said, ushering the girls in. Her interest piqued, she looked at them curiously. "What's going on?" she asked.

Jericho explained, "Well. . . remember last month when we heard about the concert that was going to be here the same time as Raw?" She did. She had originally been very excited to go with the trio before her, but Edge didn't want to go. Which meant she couldn't go. "Well, after Jeff's little accident, his ticket's up for grabs. We thought we'd ask again before heading out," Jericho said, his eyes full of expectancy. "Come on," Lillian pleaded, "you know you'll love it. Come with us." Maria was silent, but her eyes were hopeful.

She glanced at Edge, who she could tell was less than happy about the offer. At this point they could be offering to take her to the ballet for chrissakes, and she would go purely to be away from Edge. She looked away from her sulking fiancé and smiled at the triad before her. "Sure. I'll go. I just need a couple of minutes to get ready." Satisfied, they headed out, leaving her a few moments. The door closed behind him, and Edge moved to grasp her hand. "Can't you just stay in tonight?" She pulled away and snapped, "Quit with the bitching. Why shouldn't I go with them? Hell, I'm sure you can come if you want. There must be tickets still available." He didn't respond, knowing she was bluffing.

She moved to the bathroom, to utilize the large mirror one last time. The only cosmetic she had the energy for was Chapstick.

From the room she could hear Edge's sighs of frustration, a clear indication he wanted attention. But she ignored him. A moment later he entered the bathroom and stood behind her, watching as she ran her fingers through her hair. Without warning, he suddenly crushed his body to hers, forcing her hips to crash into the cold marble of the countertop. His hands reached around to cup her breasts as he brushed his lips across her shoulder. "I hope you have fun," he said, thrusting his hips into hers, causing her to hiss in pain as the counter dug into her skin. She was about to turn around and smack him when the pounding of six fists on the door caused him to back away. "Come on Lita!" cried Jericho, Lillian and Maria in tandem.

She brushed past him, pausing only to grab her bag on the way out. Suddenly something small and metallic pinged off counter. Without turning back to look at Edge, she picked up the engagement ring he had thrown and slid it on. She didn't bother to look back as she opened the door and joined the waiting wrestlers. Jericho threw his arm over her shoulder as they made their way out to the parking lot. Lillian's little red convertible was waiting and they all piled inside.

As the wind whipped through Lita's loose hair, she thought about how much of a baby Edge had been recently. She was four matches into her 10-series, and so far she'd done well. The next hurdle to jump would be, of all things, a Diva costume contest. Even the mere thought caused her to groan in disgust. _God forbid they allow me to wrestle for the title, but no! I have to play like a stupid fucking tart just so I can keep competing. _She remembered the look of malicious glee on Vince's face as he had leered at her in front of thousands of people, telling her, "Once you lose, you're fired." He really was a bastard. As Maria chatted happily with Lillian about her top that she'd made herself, Lita realized that Maria was the only Diva on the roster who was kind enough to her that they could be friends. Even though their matches had essentially been squashes, Maria hadn't cried or pouted about it. Lita had been pretty surprised to see her lick her wounds and go on like it hadn't mattered. She couldn't decide if that was due to a general lack of brain power, or that she was a genuinely good person. She idly toyed with the ring on her finger, longing to tear it off and send it flying into the night.

They arrived to a huge park that was hosting the concert. Lillian found a parking place at the edge of a packed field sitting next to the concert area. There were several thousand people crowding the outdoor concert space, a huge mosh pit had already formed in front of the stage. The music was loud and pulsing, overwhelming everything else. Chris immediately pulled all three of his Divas over to a small pavilion that was selling drinks and beer. He bought each of them a cold one, cheering loudly as he snapped the cap off his, "Let's have an awesome time tonight!" Lita couldn't help but laugh as they all clinked bottles before heading into the huge gaggle of people surrounding the stage. Lita moved slightly ahead of the others, slowly pushing her way closer to the stage.

The crush of bodies, alcohol, pulsing music and raw emotion reenergized Lita. She'd been a huge concert junkie when she was younger, but recent months had kept her too busy to find any worth going to. She managed to fight her way pretty close to the stage when she decided she had found a good spot simply let go. Everyone around her were bouncing off one another, dancing and going wild. It was like she was caught in a game of human pinball, and she loved it. Lita felt other brushing her back and arms, but she ignored the accidental contact. But then she felt a sneaking hand reach under her skirt to grip her ass. Lita saw red as she spun around, catching the young guy behind her, a leering grin on his face. He clearly wasn't expecting her to be a strong as she was when she grabbed his arm, wrenching it up and over into a painful arm-lock. "Don't you ever fucking touch me!" she hissed as the man whimpered under her grip. 'Okay okay," he cried, "just let me go!" To emphasize her point she pulled his arm a little tighter before letting go. He quickly ran off, shoving his fellow concert goers our of his way in his haste.

"Asshole," she muttered, turning back to the stage. Behind her, someone started calling her name. She turned to see Chris pulling Maria and Lillian up to where she was. She watched Chris immediately pull Lillian into his arms as they started dancing. Maria glanced at Lita and they both smiled at the sight. If she didn't know any better, she almost would guess there was something going on between those two, although Lillian looked just as surprised as they did. Almost immediately, a guy dancing near them caught Maria by the hand and pulled her over. She started to giggle like mad as Lita watched, slightly miffed at her luck. _Why does everyone else get the good guy, and I'm left with the ass-gropers?_ She left them to their own devices and made her way to the outskirts of the crowd, where things were relatively quieter. She walked to the rim of the arena which was ringed with trees, allowing herself to fall back on a large oak tree. The sudden twinge of pain in her back caused her to wince, suddenly remembering the damage done to her neck and shoulders. She poured out her beer over the tree's roots, no longer interested in it.

"Just fucking great," she muttered, rubbing her hands over skin she imagined was black and blue right now. Although she knew she'd look pretty beaten up for a few days, she smirked as she thought of Mickie. She had shown the newest Diva realize just what it meant to take on the Extreme Diva. She couldn't contain a satisfied chuckle as she imagined how pissed Mickie, and especially Trish probably were right now. As happy as the thought of Trish's anger made her, she couldn't help but remember the earlier confrontation with Edge. He had the nerve to chastise her for not watching his match, when he clearly didn't see, or appreciate what she had done in hers. Apparently it was too much to ask that he understand her world did not revolve around him.

Since her back hurt too damn much to rest against the tree, Lita slowly walked around the perimeter of the arena, not really listening to the band onstage anymore. She was too wrapped up in her own thoughts, too busy fretting over her troubles to notice she'd wandered into one of the parking lots. Subconsciously she rubbed the swath of bandages on her forearm that covered the newly stitched together flesh. The further she got from the concert, the more she realized she really wanted some time alone right now. Even though she'd come here with what few friends she had, she was horribly lonely. Edge's attitude recently was enough to make her want to avoid him as much as possible. But she was lying in a grave of her own making. For a while she'd had no problem spending all her time with Edge. But now he was really wearing on her. His behavior in Europe hadn't done anything to endear him to her heart. When she needed him most, he had abandoned her. She couldn't help the sly grin that crossed her face as she wondered how mad Edge would be if he found out she spent all her time convalescing in Kane's arms.

Lita stopped in the midst of a jumble of cars to stop and sit on the bumper of an SUV. She hung her head in her hands, too worn out to torture herself over her current situation. She needed to get out. But she knew that would one of the most difficult things she would ever do. The ring now circling her finger made things much more complex than she'd ever imagined. A sudden shock of pain in her shoulder caused her to cry out. She realized someone was grabbing her and began thrashing out at whoever it was, pummeling them with her fists. "You're hurting me!" she cried, wincing as the fingers dug deeper into her bruises. At her painful cry, the hand let go, but the pain continued to pulse in her shoulder, sending Lita to her knees with the intensity of it. "Fucking hell," she moaned as the same pair of hands reached down to pull her to her feet. Lita's head spun as she was suddenly jolted upwards. As her vision came back into focus, she was ready to unleash her wrath on whoever had the balls to grab her.

But when she looked up into the most beautiful pair of mismatched eyes she'd ever seen, her anger was replaced by surprise. Her mouth fell open as Kane gently pushed back the hair that had fallen over her face. "Are you alright?" he asked, looking at her warily, his surprise written clearly on his face. Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been to hurt her. He watched her intently, making sure she was alright. Lita stared at him, watching the concern in his eyes and the hurt on his face.

The first clear thought she could put together was of the rock on her left hand. She quickly tucked her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and turned away from him. Inside she began to tremble, completely unprepared to see him tonight. She'd given some half-assed thoughts to how she'd tell him about her engagement, but each sounded increasingly ridiculous now in her head. "Lita?" She took several steps away from him as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. The crunch of dead leaves on the ground caused Lita to hold a fearful breath while he moved closer to her. "Did I get a bad spot? Are you okay?" he asked softly, the concern in his voice was enough to send a painful stab into her chest. After a moment she felt him gently lay his hand on her shoulder, using the barest amount of pressure to turn her to face him.

For a brief instant, Lita made the mistake of looking up at him. He looked worried, an expression he rarely ever wore. She quickly bowed her head again, tormented by the fact that her ex-husband was more concerned for her well-being than her current fiancé was. This realization was made all the worse when she realized that he was only her ex-husband by her demand. He was reaching out to her, but every rational instinct in her head told her to push away.

She pulled away from him and walked a few steps away as she felt tears growing in her eyes. She knew Edge would put her though hell and back if she betrayed him. But inside her body revolted, crying out for the comfort Kane's presence offered. But would he even want her once he saw the rock on her finger? A sharp pain of longing shot through her abdomen and she moaned, "_Oh God it hurts so bad inside. . ._"

Kane watched in horror as tears began to roll down her cheeks. The sensation of panic was rather unfamiliar to him, and watching Lita fall apart before his eyes sent bolts of terror through him. He pleaded for her to tell him what was wrong, but her body was so choked by sobs that she couldn't answer. Through her tears Lita saw how much this was hurting him, and she answered him in the only way she knew. Lita threw herself into his arms, pressing her face into his chest. Kane stumbled back slightly, before he recovered, wrapping his arms protectively around her as she wept. Lita cried all the harder when she felt Kane press gentle kisses to the top of her head.

At this point, Kane was completely lost. Every second she wept, he became increasingly panicked. "Lita, you've got to stop," he said, trying to puller away enough so he could look at her. She resisted him at first, so he resorted to more drastic measures. He leaned back enough to lift her off the ground, and then grabbed one of her thighs to bring it to rest on his waist. She got the hint and pulled her other leg up so she was straddling him, her ankles crossed behind his back. He gently bent his lips to her ear, pleading with her, "Lita, you have to calm down. Please. . ."

Lita leaned her head and shoulders back, gulping in the cool night air, forcing herself to calm down. Kane bent his head to nestle against her neck as he pressed soft kisses against her skin. Slowly her sobs began to fade, finally reducing to the occasional hiccup. He gently brushed away the last of her tears, a slow smile spreading on his face. "That's better," he said, relief flooding through him as she calmed down.

Lita bowed her head, suddenly horribly embarrassed by her actions. The concern in his eyes touched her deeply. Most of the men she knew would be frightened away by such a display of female fireworks. She looked back up at him as he asked, "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Lita gave a small smile and sighed, "You just, uh. . . caught me at a bad time." He looked like he wanted to laugh, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea just yet. "I'm sorry. I was just, uh, wallowing in self-pity when you startled me," she continued, moving her head to rest under his chin. "I'm sorry if I frightened you. I didn't think I grabbed you that hard," he said, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "You didn't," she said, drawing her hair to the side and pulling down the shoulder of her hoodie so he could see the pattern of bruising there. "Fuck," he sighed, "I'm so sorry." His hand moved to gently caress the damaged skin, soothing any pain he had caused. But he looked back into her eyes and saw something deeper, something that caused his heart to ache.

She didn't have to speak. She knew her eyes had betrayed her thoughts. Telling him was the last thing in the world she wanted to do, but she knew that he was the one person she could not keep this from. The worry was written clear on his face as he watched her fall apart inside her head. Tears welled anew in her eyes as she slowly brought her left hand up to where he could see it. Even in the low light, Kane could see the garish diamond glittering on her ring finger. The shock in his eyes nearly broke her heart. His voice was choked, harsh as he asked, "Why?" Lita felt her throat closing up from the tears, but she held them back, forcing herself to speak. "I-I couldn't say no. . . He'd-He'd. . ." But words quickly failed her and she bowed her head, ready for Kane's anger.

His hands moved from her back to caress her face, his fingers gently caressing her face it fell into an expression of complete helplessness. He bent his head and pressed the softest of kisses over the wound below her eye, moving slowly to her cheeks, finally settling over her trembling lips. Lita sighed softly, that gentle contact soothing her beyond expression. Kane felt her relax beneath his touch, only encouraging him further. She pressed closer against him, the heat from his body washing over her, comforting, soothing. Rational through fell to the wayside as she simply gave in to the pleasure of kissing him.

A mixture of pain and surprise caused Lita to cry out as Kane slammed her back against the side of his SUV, further muddying her thoughts as he kissed her deeply, savoring the feel of her mouth. Pleasure mixed with pain to create an intoxicating mix neither could resist. Subconsciously her hips began to thrust against his, igniting a spark deep inside that screamed for his touch. As his lips caressed her battered flesh, Lita threw back her head and stared into the stars.

Kane tore himself away from the softness of her skin long enough to look into her eyes. Silently he asked her the question he couldn't bring himself to voice. He was absolutely insane for letting this happen, after everything they'd been though. And now with Edge's newest stunt, Kane couldn't shake the nagging voice inside his head that said he was putting her in danger by doing this. But now, with Lita willingly in his embrace, he could not deny himself the taste of her he'd been longing for.

Lita's mouth went dry as she saw the fire burning in his eyes, seeing the passion that could be hers if she only opened herself to it. Kane stared at her, enraptured by how beautiful passion made her. Her lips were dark and swollen from his kisses, her skin flushed and her eyes deep and sparkling. He kissed her again, slowly savoring the taste of her mouth as his hand gently moved up her thigh, over the netting of her stocking and onto the bare soft flesh of her thigh. She threw back her head as she felt his rough fingers slide beneath her panties; passing over onto her most sensitive flesh. He gazed deep into her eyes, holding her captive as his fingers probed the question that he couldn't bring himself to ask. Lita bit her lip in breathless anticipation as their eyes locked. He took a deep, shuddering breath as his hand moved over hot flesh, into the softness of her lips. She threw back her head and released a soft cry as his fingers slid into the warm wetness between her legs. With a groan he slumped against her, trying desperately to bring his body under control. His voice turned low and dangerous as he told her, "If you want to leave, you better go now."

She should have hesitated, thought about the consequences, but all reason fled as she crushed her mouth to his, answering him in the best way she could. He kissed her deeply, stoking the fire between them to dangerous intensity before he broke away only to wrench the door of his SUV open. She crawled into the vacant back of the vehicle, moving to the side so he could follow her in. Moving faster than she'd ever seen him, he climbed inside and slammed the door shut behind him. For just the briefest of moments they sat apart and stared at each other, taking in the desire they'd elicited from the other. Slowly he watched as Lita pulled Edge's ring from her finger and launched it into the air, pinging off glass somewhere in the vehicle.

A defiant smile spread over Lita's face as she fell against him, eagerly seeking another kiss. Somehow they maneuvered to the floor where Kane settled himself quite comfortably between her thighs. He kissed her deeply, relishing all the sounds she made for him. Her entire body felt like it was on fire, his touch burning her with a frightening intensity. As his mouth moved lower, across her neck and exposed cleavage, his hands reached for the zipper of her hoodie. He slid the fabric away from her body and then quickly removed her bra. Lita bit her lip in anticipation as he gently dipped his head to caress her with his lips. She arched her back for him, encouraging him to go further. He delighted in her beautiful moans as he gently traced his fingers over her muscled stomach, dipping into the waistband of her skirt.

She sat up quickly and reached for his shirt, trying pull it off. Only too happy to encourage her, he helped her tear the shirt away so he could feel her bare skin against his. Lita groaned with pleasure with the feel of skin on skin, but soon found herself grabbing at the front of his jeans in excitement. He seized her hands, entwining his fingers with hers to undo the buttons and zipper that contained him. Lita's hands were shaking as she helped slide the material away from him, her mouth going dry as she saw just how strong of an effect she was having on him. He felt the tremor in her and brought her hands up to gently kiss her knuckles. He watched her lying prone beneath him, and he was overwhelmed by how beautiful she was, her body bare and exposed, her glorious hair spread out like a sheet of fire. "Do you know how bad I've needed you?" he asked softly, his breath caressing her hands. Lita's heart clutched as she reached out to cradle his face.

She sat up suddenly, getting onto he knees to press against his chest. She curved her head upwards, leaving her lips only a few inches from his. "I've needed you for so long. . . I just couldn't admit it to myself. . . For so long I've been too busy hating you to see how much you really mean to me." she murmured, opening a part of her heart she'd tried to hide for a long time. Kane smiled, his face lighting up with a happiness she'd never seen in him before. His hands tangled in her hair as he kissed her deeply, his arms holding her so he could lower her back to the floor. He quickly unzipped her skirt, sliding the material away from her, leaving only her panties and stockings between them. He growled deep in his throat as he bent to press kisses over her exposed stomach, his fingers reaching under the red silk garment. Lita writhed beneath his touch, beyond ready for him. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from crying out. The anticipation grew even greater as Kane slid the panties off, the last barrier between them gone.

She reached for him, pulling his body flush against hers, savoring the feel of his erection against her. The ache deep inside was nearly painful in its intensity; she was completely ready for him. He gripped her hips, lifting her up slightly as he positioned himself just outside her entrance. He paused only the briefest moment to burn the image of her lying beneath him into his memory before he pushed his full length deep inside her. Lita threw back her head and cried as Kane groaned, each savoring the long absent feel of one another. She lifted her rear, inviting him deeper as he thrust against her, sending shocks of pleasure shooting up her spine to radiate through her body. Almost immediately she felt the pressure build deep inside her, that delicious, burning pressure that would grow and grow until it exploded in a shower of mind-numbing pleasure. She reached up to pull him down to her, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss. He settled into this new position, hooking her leg so he could thrust even deeper inside her beautifully warm heat.

She couldn't help but giggle as he 'pinned' her. This was one time she definitely had no problem letting the other guy win. Kane nuzzled her head gently as his thrusts became harder and deeper, desperate to hear her cry. Lita threw her head back, unable to contain the keening cries that escaped her every time his hips slammed into hers. The pressure inside her continued to grow, stronger, hotter, intensified by every thrust. She felt it building until it was almost too painful; but it was the most beautiful pain she'd ever felt in her life. Kane could tell she was close, he intensified his rhythm until her breath was tearing in and out of her lungs, her muscles gripping him tighter and tighter.

The orgasm tore through her body like lightning, setting everything on fire, intensifying all her senses to painful heights. The feel of his skin on hers, his groans of pleasure, the hardness of him inside became too much as she writhed in his arms. Kane slowed his thrusts, allowing her to ride out the pleasure as long as she could. He watched her slowly recover, savoring the feel of her beautiful body before he began thrusting harder and deeper, unable to get enough of her. To his surprise, she suddenly pulled away, gazing at him with wicked eyes. Confused, he sat up, praying that she wasn't planning on leaving him in such a. . . frustrated state. But his fears were quickly allied as she shoved him to his back and lowered herself over him, a wicked smile on her beautiful face.

The joined again, Kane thoroughly enjoying this new position, watching her move above him almost as pleasurable as the feels she elicited from him. They moved together in a pace that was increasingly frantic. She could feel him growing closer to his release, and she paused briefly to bend down and kiss him, still afraid of the four letter word she never had the courage to say, but her heart ached, needing him to know. She felt the comforting warmth of his hands on her hips, helping to guide her pace as she led him over the edge.

Once he climaxed, he refused to let her slip away, holding onto to her tightly, almost afraid that if he let her go, he would realize he had just dreamed this wonderful encounter. She cradled her arms around his head, pressing kisses along his brow, catching her breath. He had no problem with this arrangement, he buried his face into the hollow of her neck, enjoying the scent of her skin and frantic pace of her heart. He could feel his own frantic heartbeat, but there was a new urgency now. He held her all the tighter, unwilling to let her go back to Edge.

As their bodies cooled, she pulled away slightly, lying down on the floor next to him. She immediately curled into his embrace, pillowing her head on his arm. As late as it was, she felt the pull of sleep and had to fight to keep her eyes open. Kane propped his head up, caressing her bare body with a gentle hand. He was afraid that as hard as her life was right now, he'd only made things worse. Yes, they had needed each other tonight, he still didn't understand Edge's motivations for putting a ring on her. _What is that blonde bastard up to?_ It pained him to think of her having to hide this from Edge, making up lies to keep him off her track. As much as he'd been craving her, he regretted adding to all the things on her mind that distracted her in the ring. Even through the moonlight he could clearly see the bruises on her back. He knew Trish would be unrelenting, picking on every weakness she could find. . . if Lita even made it that far.

He felt the change in her breathing, the shift to the slow, steady rhythm of sleep hinted that she was rapidly fading fast. He knew he shouldn't let her fall asleep, but he could not deny himself the pleasure of holding her so close. Instead, Nature did the deed for him.

The first fat raindrop hit the roof of his SUV like a hammer, loud enough to startle Lita back to consciousness. She jerked her head away from her chest, deathly afraid that noise was someone just outside. As the drops continued to hit, she calmed, realizing what had made the noise. She sat up slightly, curling her body around so she was lying partly on his chest, looking into his eyes. His hands moved to gently run through her hair, earning an appreciative sigh from the Diva. Above them, the rain began to fall harder, turning into a thunderous roar as the skies opened up. Lita's curse was lost in the din as she realized everyone was going to start leaving, including Jericho, Maria and Lillian. Kane quickly sat up, coming to the same realization she had. Silently they gathered up her clothing.

As she dressed, she began to feel sick inside. Guilt came, unbidden, robbing her of the wonderful afterglow that came after sex. Once she was dressed, she turned back to Kane who was nearly dressed himself. She moved to his side, reaching for his embrace. He moved to hold her, when a huge bolt of lightning split the sky, followed almost immediately by thunder so powerful it shook Kane's SUV. She pushed her emotions to the side, knowing she ran the risk of electrocution if she didn't get moving immediately. She opened the back door a crack, enough to see a virtual wall of water falling outside. She let out a string of obscenities, knowing she was about to get completely soaked. Behind her, she felt Kane reach and lift the hood of her hoodie up and over her head.

His hand circled her jaw, turning her back to him. "Please be careful," he said softly, pressing his lips to her brow. A knot of emotions formed in her throat as she gave him one last kiss. A touch of cold metal in her palm sobered her. The sadness in Kane's face as he pressed the engagement ring into her palm was enough to break her heart. Her cheeks burned with shame as she slid it on. When he finally let go, she turned, and shoved open the door and leapt from the vehicle. The ground had quickly turned into a muddy quagmire, splashing dirt all over her legs, the stinging rain quickly soaking through her clothes and hair. She ran through the parking lot, the trees, finally reaching the main arena that was full of people heading for cover. She scanned the mass of people, looking for a familiar face as people shoved and jostled each other in their haste to get out of the rain. She pushed her way through the crowd, heading back to where she'd last seen the others. She quickly realized it was going to be nearly impossible to find anyone in the mass of bodies.

She kept moving, but was virtually blinded by the rain. As the crowd pushed and shoved their way to the parking lot, Lita moved with them, searching every face for one she knew. The farther she pushed, the more she got the feeling she was getting herself hopelessly lost. She couldn't help a gasp of surprise when a hand clamped down on her wrist. "There you are! Come on!" Chris Jericho cried, quickly pulling her through the crowd, over to where Maria and Lillian were huddled together holding Chris' jacket over their heads. Now reunited, they quickly headed for Lillian's car. By the time they all had scrambled into the car, they were all soaking wet and splattered with mud. Everyone sat in silence, the mood one of frustration. Lillian pulled into the long line of cars heading for the exit, moving just a bit slower than a snail's pace.

Now soaking wet and freezing cold, Lita sunk down in her seat, a small smile on her face as her body still radiated pleasure deep inside. As Jericho whined about their ruined night from the front seat, Maria fretted over her soaking wet top. "Oh my gosh, I hope its not ruined, it took forever to get the lace and beading on! Does anyone know if there's a dry-cleaners by the hotel?" She rolled her head to the side, watching as headlights made swirling patterns through the rain on the windows. Her mind wandered, almost bewildered by what she'd just done.

_Did I really just do that_? The memory of his face as he loved her, the unabashed joy, made it painfully obvious she had. Her mind began to rebel as her fingers toyed with her engagement ring. _After all you've done! After all he's done to you! All the sacrifices you made to escape from him, the poison you said so he'd hate you, the life you gave away for Edge, how could you do this? How could you willingly go back and happily tear open old wounds for him?_

_Because he's the only one that gives a fuck anymore_. The way he looked at her, with unashamed concern, still haunted her.

Suddenly the car became awfully silent, as Lita realized something had caught Maria's attention. The petite Diva was staring over her shoulder, at one of the cars out the window. Lita followed her eyes, her heart nearly stopping when she saw whose vehicle had caught Maria's attention. Maria's face was written in confusion as she tried to figure out _why_ she knew that SUV. As a huge bolt of lighting turned night to day for a brief instant, illuminating the vehicle's occupant. Lita's jaw dropped when she saw Kane's hulking figure outlined in the light; and she knew Maria had seen him just as clearly as she had.

Almost the moment Lita made that realization, Maria realized Lita was watching her. The brunette Diva quickly snapped her head to the opposite side of the vehicle, desperately trying to hide a huge grin. Despite Maria's best efforts to hide it, Lita suddenly put two and two together.

"You knew!" she cried, staring at Maria, almost unbelieving Maria could have orchestrated Kane's presence for her tonight. She knew the bands weren't Kane's style, why else on earth would he be there unless he was tipped off to her presence. She gaped at the younger Diva, suddenly realizing this wasn't Maria's first foray into this relationship. Maria turned to Lita with a perfect '_who me'_ doe eyed look.

"Knew what?" Jericho asked, now turned around in his seat, watching the pair intently. Lita's heart nearly stopped while she scrambled for an excuse. Her voice was a bit higher than normal when she answered, "Maria's going to make me a top like hers. She knows how much I love hers." Realizing it was only chick stuff, Jericho turned back around, disinterested now. Everyone's suspicions now allayed, Lita's heart rate returned to normal as Maria launched into a detailed description of the making of said top.

Which lasted nearly the entire trip home.

The rain had softened up to a bare trickle when Lillian finally dropped Lita back at her hotel. The cold had nearly penetrated to her bones as Lita stumbled inside, catching a glimpse of herself in a mirror in the hotel's lobby. Her hair was plastered to her head and neck, her clothes hanging oddly off her body as dark streaks of mud showed just about everywhere over her lower half. She felt, and looked, like crap. She sighed, physically and emotionally drained. There was water in her shoes as she trudged towards the elevators, fishing her room key from her pocket.

A moment later she was in the elevator, allowing herself one last moment to relish the memories of earlier that night. Aside from her aching back, the freezing cold, her frustration with Edge, one thing pushed though. Mismatched blue eyes, telling her everything she'd ever need:

_I'll take care of you. _

_I'll protect you. _

_I'll never stop loving you._

She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she unlocked the room she shared with Edge and stepped inside. To her surprise, Edge was still up. He looked up from his position on he bed and burst into laughter. Sure she was shivering, and she looked like crap, but it wasn't _that_ funny. After a long moment, Edge got control of himself long enough to gasp, "Now look at you! I told you that you would have had a better night if you'd stayed in with me!"

She rolled her eyes and headed for the bathroom, leaving a bewildered Edge in her wake: _Why the hell is she smiling like that?_


	25. Chapter 25

Goodnight Lita 25

Edge strolled into his home, thoroughly exhausted and very happy to be there. He dragged his suitcase inside and left it by the door, depositing his duffel bag and keys on a nearby table. After shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it up, picked up the small pile of mail by the door and headed for his couch. He collapsed onto it and began sorting through it. He smiled as he noticed one of the magazines was another bridal magazine for Lita. He couldn't help but smile, flipping casually through the pages. Vegas was only a short time away. He knew Lita had an appointment with a bridal shop near her home today. She had even taken Maria home with her so she could go too. "Women," he huffed, amused at the seriousness the fairer sex devoted to weddings. He read the title of one article: "How to Create a Seamless Transition from the Ceremony to the Reception. 101 Handy Tips." _Who takes this stuff that seriously?_

He tossed the magazine aside and finished looking through the mail. Bored, he grabbed the remote from the arm of the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels, finally landing on a hockey game. "Lightning versus the Devils? Awesome!" He made a quick run to the fridge for a beer, then he settled back on the couch to watch. A while later, as soon as the second period ended, his cell phone rang, blaring his entrance music. He smirked when he noticed it was his brother calling. "Hey Christian! Had to wait til the period was over before calling?" There was a pause on the other end of the line. 'Hey Edge. . . Yeah, I was waiting for the period to end. . ." Edge knew his brother well enough to tell something was wrong. "You sound like something's up. Is everything ok?"

Christian sighed through the phone. "Look bro, I almost don't know how to say this. I found something. . . I. . . I don't quite know how to tell you." Edge was worried. Christian was never this coy with him. "Hey Christian," he laughed, trying to bring some levity to the situation. "Just tell me. What's going on?"

"Well, it's really something you have to see. Is your laptop running?" Edge's brow furrowed. What the _hell_ was going on? "No, you're going to have to give me a couple of minutes to get it running. You're kind of freaking me out. Are you okay, at least?" Christian laughed. "Sure, yeah, totally fine. . ." Edge quickly fished he laptop from his duffel bag and booted it up. He placed it on the dining table and sat down, waiting for everything to load. Slightly frustrated that he couldn't get a straight answer from his brother, he asked, "So how are things in Total Non-Existent Action?" He didn't really pay much attention to his reply and he the computer took its sweet time loading. After what seemed like forever, he was finally able to get online. "I sent you an e-mail with a link," Christian said, but Edge was halfway there. _Youtube? What the hell could be on Youtube that upset Christian this much_, he wondered. He clicked the link and waited while the page loaded. He saw the title first, and that caused his heart to skip a beat: Kane and Lita Re-United.

As the video began to play, Edge stared at the screen in horror. The quality wasn't fantastic, and he couldn't hear what they were saying; but then again, he didn't need to. While the two figures on the screen passionately embraced, all Edge could do was shout into his cell "What the fuck is this?" "Dude, I wish I had an explanation," Christian replied. "But look, it wasn't uploaded that long ago. It's not from when they were married. Has she said anything recently about him?" Edge paused and racked his brain. He couldn't remember her mentioning anything. But then he realized with horror, all the time alone he'd given her. Plenty of time to pull off an affair. "Son of a bitch," he muttered. "I can't fucking believe this! Christ, she's supposed to be picking out a god-damned wedding dress tomorrow!" He ran his free hand through his hair in frustration. "So, what are you going to do about the wedding," his brother asked quietly. Anger overtook Edge in a sudden rush. "Once a whore, always a whore," he muttered. "Kane? She's fucking Kane? I would understand anyone else in the roster! Hell, it wouldn't bother me if she was fucking you, but Kane?" he shouted into the phone. Christian was blessedly silent, giving his brother time to vent. After a few more moment's of Edge's frenzied tirade, he fell quiet.

"So, what's next," Christian asked. Edge's thoughts were spinning in a mad kaleidoscope. He wasn't sure. First and foremost, he wanted that red-headed slut to suffer. After a moment he answered his brother. "Nothing. As far a she's concerned, we know nothing about this. . . Look, give me some time. I need to figure out what I'm going to do. Can I count on you, whatever happens?" His brother answered immediately, "Of course. From getting revenge on trash bag whores to dumping bodies, I got your back." Christian clearly meant that as a joke, but at this point, Edge wasn't so sure that was out of the question.

Lita was in Hell.

A dazzling white, chiffon and sparkling Hell.

Maria grasped her hand tightly and softly exclaimed, "It's all so beautiful!"

Rack upon rack of dazzling white wedding gowns loomed over her, as Maria excitedly clutched her arm and drug her to the reception desk. Ready and waiting for their 1:00 appointment, was a lady in her mid 50's, their guide through the blindingly white jungle. She greeted the women with a toothy smile. Her graying brown hair was pulled back in an elaborate French braid, and she wore a sea green pantsuit. Lita hated her already. Maria greeted her with equal enthusiasm. "Hi my name's Maria and this is my friend Lita and we're here to find a wedding dress!" The saleswomen extended her hand. "Maria, I'm so glad to meet you. My name is Veronica and it will be my pleasure to help you find the gown of your dreams today."

The woman's eyes were focused on Maria, who looked like primo-bride material. She was happy, perky and smiling, obviously overjoyed to be here. The brunette diva smiled and shook her head, "No, not for me! Lita's going to get married. Not me. Yet!" Almost as if she hadn't noticed her before, Veronica's eyes moved to the dark cloud of a woman hovering near the door. If the duo hadn't come in together, She would have been positive this one came in to rob the place. The redhead hardly looked like a perspective bride. She looked sullen, dressed in a dark grey sweatshirt and black athletic pants. Unfazed and desperate for a sale, Veronica pranced up to her and extended her hand to Lita. "So pleased to meet you Lita," she said, examining her up close. Lita could see the distaste in her face, covered by a thin façade of professionalism. _And why is this the one getting married?_ There was a moment of awkwardness while Veronica sized her up.

With the introductions over, Veronica launched into sales mode. "So what are we working with today? Bride and bridesmaid, or just the bride? When's the wedding? What budget do we have to work with?" Fortunately for Lita, Maria took charge of this. "Well, we haven't really found anything outstanding to try out, but we're very open to ideas. But this is kind of a rush, because the wedding's at the end of this month. And money is no object; her fiancé gave her the green light for whatever she wants." At that moment, Veronica found her reason for the rush, and her smugness read all over her face. _She must be pregnant. That's the only reason why someone would marry this piece of trash in a hurry. _

"Well let's do some waking and get some ideas," she said, guiding the girls into the virtual maze of gowns. Lita barely paid attention, allowing Maria to pull perspective gowns to try on. Lita could barely bring herself to look at row after row of gowns. She felt as enthusiastic as someone picking out which dress to be buried in. After about 20 minutes Maria had isolated 15 "let try-ers" and they all moved to the changing and show area. Lita was sent into the small booth to strip down and try the first candidate.

As she pulled off her sweatshirt and pants, Lita sulked at the situation. If Maria hadn't dragged her out of bed this morning, she never would have gone. She knew without a doubt that of all the "weddings" she'd endured, this one would be the worst mistake. Standing only in her underwear, she surveyed the still healing wounds and bruises in the mirror. Even though time had done some improvement, she still looked pretty bad.

Maria called through the door, "Ready for the first one?" Her voice was devoid of enthusiasm as she said, "Yeah." The door opened a crack, and the first gown was hung on the door. Lita couldn't believe her eyes. "Feathers? Are you insane?" The door opened and Maria's hand pulled the dress back out. 'Okay, okay. I thought it was cute. You don't have to try it. Hold on, I'll get another."

"I swear to God, if I see one more feather I'm going to-"

Maria quickly cut her off, sensing the helpless rage that seemed to possess Lita with every passing moment. "No more feathers, I promise." She handed that one back to Veronica, who had a strange look on her face. Maria brought the next gown and passed it through the door. "Here, I love this designer. This one is really cute," she said, hoping they could get out of this quickly.

The redhead closed her eyes tightly and just stood for a moment, not breathing, as if by sheer will she could stop the world. Now more than ever, she felt like someone watching a monumental tidal wave heading for the shore. She glared at the gown that was hanging over the door. "I hate you," she muttered. After a few moments, Lita reluctantly admitted that this wasn't going to get any better, so she resigned herself to her task. As she pulled the dress from the hanger, Maria knocked softly at the door. "How's it going? Need help getting it zipped?" "Yeah, give me a sec," she said softly, stepping into the gown and pulling it up. A moment later Maria stepped in. The brunette sucked in a huge breath and said "Ohmygoshyoulooksogood!" She moved behind Lita and help zip the gown up. "Wow, it seriously looks amazing. Come out so you can see it." Moving carefully, shrouded in several additional yards of cloth than she was used to, Lita stepped out into the showing area, where Veronica stood waiting.

The older woman's face broke out into a look of practiced awe as she sighed, "Oh how lovely." But Lita saw her face twitch in disgust as she noticed the still closing wound on her arm, the tattoos, the multitude of multihued bruises and red welts that still shone bright from Mickie's kendo attack. Veronica quickly hid her disgust behind a soft smile as she reached down un-bunch the gown's train. "This is a traditional princess gown. All the beading you see is genuine Swarovski crystals."

Lita stared into the mirror, not really seeing the image reflected back at her. She cocked her head slightly, wondering _Is the third wedding really the charm?_ After a few moments, Lita found her voice and said, "I don't love it." Not dissuaded by her client's disinterest, Veronica marched over to a waiting rack of gown and pulled the next one down. This one is Oleg Cassini, very chic. . ." And so it went.

She stared blankly at the full length mirror a few feet away, barely noticing the gorgeous bridal gown she wore. It hardly looked different than the preceding 8, or the next 5 she still had to try on. Behind her, Veronica gently adjusted the long veil tucked into Lita's hair. "This cut on your body is gorgeous. It shows how strong you are, but still feminine. . ." Lita wanted to smack her. Behind her, sitting on a nearby couch, Maria watched silently, her lips pressed together as she studied Lita's reflected face. The redhead finally stopped to examine the dress, rubbing a fold of the fabric between her fingers.

As Lita's upper lip curled into a sneer of disgust, Maria bounded up from her seat, saying "Okay, well why don't we try this next one? This one's okay, but let's try another." As the brunette went over to the rack holding the still to be tried dresses, Lita hoisted the voluminous skirts up in a decidedly un-lady like fashion and went back to the changing room. She dropped heavily onto a small chair, waiting for Maria to bring in the next gown.

After a few moments, Maria came into the changing room, the next gown over her arm. "Ready for the next one?" Lita sighed. "You don't want to know," Lita said, standing so Maria could help her out of the dress. "This next one is Beau LeBlanc, he does beautiful stuff. I really like this one," Maria said, smiling happily as she smoothed a wrinkle from the new dress as Lita stepped out of the other one. "Too many sparkles," Lita said, but allowed Maria to help her into it. Once it was one, they went back out to the main gallery where the sales lady sat in wait. She was gazing disappointedly at the already dismissed gowns, growing unhappy with her difficult client. But as soon as the Divas came back into view, she pasted a huge grin on her face and cried, "Oh how beautiful!" Lita bit back a groan and moved to stand on the pedestal so she could see in the mirror.

As much as she detested the woman in the sea green pant suit, Lita knew she wasn't faking her reaction. The dress was gorgeous, and Lita knew she looked gorgeous in it. Veronica sensed and end to this ordeal and went for the final sale. "This is Beau LeBlanc, as Maria said. This is a beautiful strapless trumpet style that hugs your body wonderfully. Again the little bit of detail on the sash at your waist is Swarovski crystal. The train is very short, ideal for a destination wedding, as Maria mentioned earlier. The back has a certain timeless elegance. If you will turn, you can see these small satin buttons run from the top to the hem." Lita was silent as she turned, taking in all the details. She grudgingly admitted it wasn't too sparkly. Maria and Veronica watched Lita slowly came to the determination this one was it. "Alright," she said softly. "It'll do." Maria had a huge, relieved grin on her face, as she stood up beside Lita, fussing over each little detail of the gown. Veronica stepped up and said, "Now I understand you ladies have no budget, but you understand that gown is $11,000?" Lita stared up at her, realizing that this bitch of a woman was trying to imply she couldn't afford the gown. "Not a problem. Maria, will you grab Edge's credit card from my bag?" Veronica eyebrows rose a few inches, sufficiently impressed as she was presented with the card. She tottered off with Maria to complete the payment details while Lita retreated back into the changing room. She gently took the dress of and felt a sudden sense of relief. Picking this dress was a combination of two things. Yes, she kind of liked it. But she liked making Edge pay for it even more.

By the time she was dressed, Maria was done paying for the thing, and they had set up the rush order for Lita's gown. The duo headed outside to Maria's car. "Did that really take two hours?" Lita muttered as they drove off. Their next stop was a local mall to purchase the finishing touches for their Halloween costumes. Maria had been trying to get Lita to reveal her choice for days, but the redhead kept the secret closely guarded. As stupid and inane the Diva's costume contest always was, this one counted just as much as a real match. If she didn't win, she was toast. She knew that a simple Naughty Nurse of Slutty Angel wasn't going to cut it. She had slowly assembled pieces of her outfit for a few weeks, but she still had a few things to add. As they walked through the mall, Maria asked, seemingly offhandedly, "Do you want to go to Sephora? I need some new nail polish for Halloween." Lita quickly agreed, but then paused, realizing that Maria still hadn't revealed what she was going as. The costume contest stood apart from all her other matches as one where anyone had a good shot at winning. As they headed for the familiar white and black storefront, Lita tried to casually ask, "So what are you going as again?" The brunette smiled coyly. "I don't want to give away the surprise, but I will make sure I don't outshine you."

Lita felt a huge wave of relief and gratitude swell through her. She caught Maria's hand and said, "Thank you. . . For everything." Maria returned her smile and gave her hand a squeeze. "Look, we're here," she said excitedly as they arrived to the store. Lita shopped with abandon, filling her basket with more makeup than she could ever wear at one time. This was going on Edge's tab too, and she had no qualms about buying top quality makeup at his expense. Maria shopped much more conservatively, buying a few lip glosses and a bottle of nail polish that just so happened to match the dark purple one Lita currently wore. Maria couldn't help but notice all of Lita's purchases were in shades of black and blood red.

When they'd finished their rounds of the mall, Maria convinced Lita that milkshakes and French fries would be the perfect afternoon snack before heading home. After splitting an order of waffle fries with lots of ketchup, they headed home, milkshakes in tow. As Lita drove them home, Maria picked her moment to address a sensitive subject. "So. . . How are things with Kane?" Lita didn't say anything right away, but Maria noticed her face went a bit pale. "I have no idea. I haven't spoken to him since we wound up in his SUV, fucking like teenagers," she said. Maria blushed at her bluntness. "What even made you sure that hooking me up with Kane is a good idea?' Lita pressed. "What if he's just screwing with me as some kind of twisted revenge scheme?" Maria toyed with her milkshake cup a moment before she said, "He wouldn't look at you like he does if it was revenge. He looks at you like you're the only woman on the earth that matters to him. Edge looks at you like he thinks he possesses you." Now it was Lita's turn to blush. Lita started to defy her assertion, when Maria pointedly interrupted her. "Tell me you haven't fantasized about him breaking up this wedding just like the last time." Lita couldn't bring herself to admit that she'd done just that earlier. Except her fantasy involved Kane stripping her out of that lovely wedding dress and celebrating the wedding night they never had before. "No comment," she muttered. Maria smiled to herself as they completed the journey in silence.

After a boisterous greeting by the dogs, Lita brought out the large box she'd been using to keep all of her costume supplies. She showed Maria the different pieces and a sketch of how it would all fit together. Maria's admiration was clear as she said, "Those other bitches don't stand a chance. Lita, this is amazing!" The redhead couldn't help smiling as she pulled out small squishy package from the box. "Hey Maria, ever worn a blood pack before?"

Monday Night Raw

Lita was the first wrestler to arrive. Edge wasn't with her this time. When she called him on Sunday, he said something about taking care of something and told her to fly on without him. That was fine with her. She walked to the dressing rooms area and found the room marked only with her name. She smiled, pleased that her request for a private room was granted with a minimum of fuss. The room was fairly small, but more than large enough for her purpose. She set down the large plastic bin she carried and dropped her duffel bag from her shoulder. Before she started to dress, she made a beeline for Josh's booth.

When she found him, he was still mid-setup, but he stopped and greeted her with a friendly hug. Nervously, Lita asked, "You got it finished, right?" He gave her a broad grin. "I've got your surprise right here," he said excitedly. He led her to his computer and headed her a set of headphones. "I worked really hard on this, so I hope you like it. We got your Titantron video edited to match. Go ahead and put those on and I'll play it for you." She slipped on the headphones as Josh queued up the track on his computer. Lita listened intently as the music played for her ears only. A huge grin slowly spread across her face as she listened. She met Josh's eager gaze and said, "This is incredible!" She gave him another hug, grateful for his help. She handed him back the headphones, her spirits lifted knowing that she had a fantastic entrance for the contest. She chatted with Josh a few moments longer, just to make sure everything would be perfect. Josh had pulled some favors and got her special lighting request approved. Satisfied everything was in place, she headed back to her dressing room.

Once she was inside and the door securely locked behind her, she began to unpack the bin and lay out the various parts of her ensemble. She had just started to undress when her phone rang. Maria greeted her happily. 'I wanted to let you know I'm here, and I'm wearing that blood pack thingy in the place you asked." "Great! Maria, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this." "No problem," the brunette chirped, "I'll see you in the ring!." Lita tossed her phone onto the counter that lined one wall and changed out of her street clothes. She consulted her sketch of the final result, just to make sure she hadn't forgotten any of it since the last time she checked. Then, slowly and carefully, she began her transformation.

The start of Raw's second hour was the annual Diva's costume contest. Jerry the King Lawler stood in the ring, microphone in hand as he gave a brief introduction. Then it was the Diva's turn. First out came Torrie Wilson. She appeared to be some kind of slutty Little Bo Peep in her pink, dirndl style dress. Under her arm was her little dog, that appeared to be wearing a lamb costume. Then came Candace Michelle dressed as a slutty sailor girl. One by one the Divas filtered in, each wearing a costume that had the word 'slutty' in it. There were only three left to enter the ring when Lita's normal music suddenly filled the arena. Lita, who was carefully concealed to make her surprise entrance, stared in shock at the Titantron. _No! It was supposed to be special! What the fuck happened to Josh?_ She was screaming curses in her head when suddenly, someone bounded out of the gorilla and down the entrance ramp. Lita's mouth fell open as she watched herself enter the ring.

Maria did her homework well. She had dyed her thick tresses the same red color as Lita. She wore a vintage Lita tank top and necklace over a purple fishnet top. Her black cargo pants were slung low on her hips, allowing an acid green thong to peek above them. Her nails were painted dark purple, and she had copied Lita's usual makeup to perfection. The fishnet top was torn on her right arm, exposing her famous tattoo. Lita nearly burst out laughing. Whoever did the tattoo wound up making a green, three eyed smiley face. Maria bounded around the ring, the crowd cheering their approval. Lawler was clearly pleased as he shouted into the microphone, "And here we have the lovely Lita, I mean, Maria!"

It was time for the next contestant. Lita watched carefully as Trish Stratus made her entrance. It seemed that Trish had taken the challenge just as serious as Lita. Instead of a slutty whatever, Trish strutted to the ring in an amazingly accurate Captain Jack Sparrow costume. Aside from the copious amount of cleavage, she could have stepped straight from the movie. Once in the ring, she pulled out a sword and climbed to the top of a turnbuckle, brandishing it daringly. Lita felt her pulse quicken as the crowd roared for "Captain Trish Sparrow," as Lawler was crowing.

After Trish had a few moments, Lawler started to announce, "And finally we have Li-"

Suddenly, the arena was plunged into darkness. The noise of the crowd swelled with excitement. For several moments, there was nothing except the ominous sound of a cold wind blowing. Suddenly, there was a pulse of music, just two beats, before the sound of the blowing wind returned, louder this time. The crowd grew even louder, for they had seen the brief image of a woman's eyes flashing when the music sounded. The two beats of music sounded again. . . then again. . . then again. When the eerie wind sounded again, the house light suddenly burst on, momentarily blinding everyone. Lita's theme began to play in earnest. But there was now an extra figure in the ring. When the other Divas realized she was there, they all moved back in fright. They weren't entirely sure the thing crouching there was Lita.

Lita slowly stood, raising herself to her full height. Most impressively, two large black leathery wings extended from her back. Lita's hair was streaked with black and hung disheveled down her back between the wings. Her cleavage was encased in black leather bustier that looked like it had blood stains sprayed across it. Her midriff was bare and she wore a pair of skintight pants that might as well have been tights. A black thong peeked up at the back. Her feet were encased in stiletto boots that looked like cloven hooves. Every bit of exposed skin was pale white, except for her lips, which were red as blood. Curving over her bottom lip were two long, deadly looking fangs. But even Lawler turned away from her eyes. It seemed almost as if she didn't have eyes. Her eyes were totally white. The pupil and iris were both gone. It truly was a disturbing sight.

She began to move about the ring, but her movements weren't natural. She moved like a predator, stalking the other Divas who ran like frightened sheep to get away from her. Only Maria didn't back away. The former brunette seemed enthralled, almost hypnotized by her demonic doppelganger. The demonic Lita began to circle her, holding her gaze. Demonic Lita suddenly darted behind her, pulling Maria against her body. Maria melted against her, as Lita caressed her almost like a lover. She brushed Maria's newly red tresses over her left shoulder and then suddenly, savagely, yanked her head to the side, exposing her neck. Demonic Lita bared even more of those horrible fangs in an evil smile before she struck, tearing into Maria's neck. Blood spurted across the ring as Lita attacked. Maria started screaming and thrashed in Lita's vise-like hold. The other Divas leapt from the ring in horror as Lawler quickly retreated to the announce table. Blood poured down Lita's chin and cleavage as she let Maria go. The little Diva hit the mat and rolled from the ring and ran up the ramp, screaming all the way. Now alone in the ring, Lita crouched back down, and made a show of slowly licking the blood from her fingers. The crowd was agape. After a long moment, Lawler found his voice as he announced, "And the winner is. . . Lita." With his proclamation the crowd exploded with cheers that quickly became a Lita chant. The lights in the arena blacked out again and the chant grew all the louder.

_Lita! Lita! Lita! Lita! Lita! Lita!_

When the lights came back on, the ring was empty, still surrounded by the rest of the bewildered Divas. Torrie Wilson looked at Candace Michelle and said, "I told you she was fucking possessed or something!"

Lita stepped through the gorilla still half blind from the contacts that made her eyes appear completely white. She never saw the large hand that clamped down over her arm and yanked her to the side. There was no doubt in her mind just _who_ it was that was brazen enough to snatch her away like this. She was dragged along the corridor for several yards until she was quickly tugged into some sort of room. She heard the door close and lock. She couldn't help but smile. She softly called his name, "Kane?" Even with her severely diminished sight, she could still make out his tall, hulking shape standing a few feet away from her. He reached out and touched the fangs that still protruded from her lip. "Can you take those out," he asked tersely. She nodded and quickly pulled the porcelain fangs out.

Instantly he was on her, crushing her body against his and seeking her lips in a desperate kiss. She eagerly succored, kissing him with abandon, moaning happily as his tongue caressed hers. His strong arms lifted her until she could wrap her legs around his waist and press her breasts again his bare chest. Between fervent kisses he said, "That. . . was. . . the … sexiest thing. . . I've ever. . . seen!" He kissed her deeply, stealing all of her rational thoughts, his large hands clutching her protectively. He began to trail kisses down her next and to her cleavage. "You taste like strawberries" he murmured, pillowing his head on her breasts for a moment. "That would be the fake blood," she laughed. She was eternally grateful to Maria for agreeing to wear the blood pack. Maria's choice of costume had just made the scenario all the better. He kissed her again, softer this time. "I missed you," he said softly. She tenderly ran her fingers over his face and said, 'I missed you too." He held her for a long while, stroking her back between the wings.

In the quiet of the moment, they could hear people outside in the hallway. They both cringed when they heard someone distinctly say, "Has anyone seen Lita?" She sadly pulled away from him. "That's my cue," she said, disappointed she didn't have more time with him. She retrieved her fangs from where they fell on the floor and made a move to the door, but he caught her wrist. "Lita, we need to talk," he said. She couldn't quite make out the expression on his face, but it seemed serious. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. "Meet me after the show. Edge said he already has plans. Can you meet me at the 7 Eleven down the block?" Kane agreed and released her hand. She slipped from the room and casually walked down the hallway to her own dressing room.

After a moment, she heard a familiar voice rush up to her. "Lita, babe you were amazing out there. You kicked ass," Edge exclaimed as he hugged her. He pulled back after a moment. "Man, you are covered in blood. How about a shower?" Lita smiled at him. "Sounds great. This stuff is getting kind of gross now." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and led her off to his dressing room to shower and change.

**Please don't hate me for taking so long. This chapter has been sitting half finished for years. I'm so sorry it took so long, but I will finish this. Thank you so much for staying with me!**


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